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Being critical can depend a lot of what your being critical to or about – we have to pay attention to things with a critical eye when it comes to things like taking medications and making important decisions.
If this question just means being negative all the time and never seeing anything good then obviously that’s not useful.
Many of us are negative and they say most people have a negative bias that it’s our go to response.
I know negative self talk and being critical about my self has made me not want to connect with others due to that. So it’s important to distinguish exactly what you mean by critical.
I don’t think being critical is necessarily wrong even though it may diminish connection. We agree to not agree and move on! We have a right to our opinions.
It is something I have had to remind myself about over the years, after all, who am I to judge? In any event, I plant a seed within when right/wrong thinking comes knocking. I remind myself I may just be wrong anyway, so it is best to just notice and look for what really is, as it is.
When I allow the voice of the inner critic full reign, it often limits, diminishes, harms and even eliminates the possibility of connection with self, other, the people, life and world around. As I learn to accept that voice as one important part of a much bigger chorus, connection emerges and evolves in a more natural, organic, curious and life giving way.
Best for a beautiful day, all…
If by critical, you mean judgmental,
than yes, it constantly gets
in the way of connection.
I experience connection in spite of
my habit of painting a picture of
someone before we even speak.
And then I usually have to accept
the fact that I was way off and vow
once again, to be more open
And yes, I have been critical of others
and it has certainly gotten in the way of
connection. I am working on being less
critical and more accepting of
others and myself.
I finally realized some years ago that I tended to be very critical of myself. My mentor said to me, “I sense you are thinking poorly of yourself, again. That type of criticism makes one ineffective when it comes to healthy relationships. For me, the other type of being critical I experience was living with the illusion that “I only wanted what was best!” Problem that creates is when I wanted what was best, it was always what I thought was best for me and for you. Not a good premise for connecting!
When we are critical of something at face value, we are already holding it at arm’s length, rejecting it, and therefore not connecting with it. For example, I was often critical of my father. He had political opinions I often did not agree with and he would assert them loudly and unapologetically, he did not take care of himself much and would get angry when my family and I suggested taking steps to improve his health, and all of these things and more I was often critical of and thus often held him at arm’s length. We lost him last year, and it is only now, after he has passed on, that I realized how overly critical of him I was, too critical to truly connect and see how much love and compassion he had for my family and I. My, often times too harsh, criticism of him stopped me from truly connecting with him in the way that I should have. I always have and always will love him, but that true connection that I know he wanted, I fear I never gave him, and it is only now that it is too late that I realize how holding someone in such unfair critique can prevent that true, priceless connection. It is not to say that you can’t criticize someone or something, but do not hold them in judgement and at arm’s length – be open to the other side of things, remain open to let others in, and be open to that connection to truly embrace the world around you. You never know when the opportunity to connect will be lost forever.
When my mind is fixed on critical judgements I am in the process of rejecting. I am not allowing for appreciation of the reasons for the aversions or for the goodness or the potential of the circumstances I’m in. I’ve also found that when making critical judgements I am not kind. I’ve lost connection with myself and others. The world is smaller. Gratitude is inhibited.
I so wanted to grasp and learn from a question this morning…to put my unusual poor morning mood in order. But; either it is too early and with poor sleep last night…my mind has no thoughts on this question. The question seems to be a double negative. Wishing you all a very good day. Once again…I am grateful for feeling a connection to all of you.
Criticism and judgment of a situation or other people are two of the ways we fight the acceptance of what is happening, of reality. Fighting with reality removes me from the present and the possibility of connecting to the other people involved.
When I am critical of an idea, lifestyle, culture or gathering I have already closed off my acceptance, listening and heart to something different before it has had a chance to reveal its true nature to me. When I am overly critical of myself I have begun to lose site of loving kindness to myself. As Paul Harvey used to say in his memerable voice “Now you know the rest of the story.” I need to let everything and everyone’s story unfold before any judgment and or criticism by me.
not feeling this question … seems negative. Critical does not always have to be negative… critical thinking, critical condition can also end up with positive endings.
Yes-Yes, Michele, I’m with you on this one. I suddenly feel…connected! Ha!
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