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With all that is going on with my daughter in rehab for addiction again it is very easy to get depressed but I choose to take care of myself and find joy. Tonight I treated myself to a movie at the showcase cinema “Welcome to paradise ” with George Clooney and Julia Roberts. It is $5 Tuesdays. What a treat, the seats are now lounge chairs. That is how long it has been since I went to the movie theater. Was a great way to get my mind off of things : ). Very cute movie!
I have always thought that Guns and Roses were good, but the concert last night was fantastic. I was a bit tired and ho hum about going last night but pushed myself along anyway. Axel and Slash rock! One of the great rock and roll bands in the world.
Years ago I went to see Rob Zombie who opened for Ozzy…. Rob’s energy is just AWESOME. I also was surprised at Ozzy’s energy too for his age. Was a great concert:)
The instance I think of happened decades ago. When I separated from my daughters’ father I felt a great deal of guilt. I had a pretty idyllic childhood and my kids weren’t going to have the same experiences I had had. I beat myself up over this a fair amount although I had already made the decision that they would be better off growing up knowing that they deserved to be loved and cared for and they weren’t going to get that example from my life as long as I was in that marriage.
And then one day it dawned on me that I was the only one who could make a comparison between their childhood and mine. They were going to have the only childhood they would ever have. The experiences in it are theirs, not mine. I could do as much as possible to give them a happy and secure childhood and they would never miss what I had had because it wasn’t theirs to begin with.
This example comes back to me every so often as a reminder that only I am having the experiences that I am having and other people are having only theirs, not mine. In other words, stop projecting.
Good morning to my friend Diane. I hope that all is well with you and your family! We were actually snowed in for a week here, until yesterday when melting began. This is unusual weather in November, especially for so many days and non-stop. Just 3 weeks ago I had driven my car to the beach down the road. So yesterday I was grateful to clean off my car and be able to drive to the pharmacy for prescriptions.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family this week!
Good morning Pilgrim….so happy to see you here. And that you have dug out from the snowstorm!
I’m sending you my heartfelt wishes for a blessed Thanksgiving my friend.
I am so very thankful for the gift of our cyber-friendship all these years.
Namaste friend 🙏
A change in perspective is oft hard won. It takes time and mindfulness, and intention and an understanding that this change is beneficial for myself and others. Once done, as noted by Laura’s Rumi quote ( below) “Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?”
I like that Carol. Thank you.
This question has prompted me to realize that I need a change in my attitude!! Sometimes, I just have a bad frame of mind…and yet- at the same time, I am so aware of and grateful for my life and all I have. So..today dear ones…I am really going to TRY to be a better person…and to have a better attitude. Thank you all who come here and share your thoughts.
When I take the extra time to pause and re-group, I’m able to match calamity with serenity. Everything changes because I’m more centered.
Going as far as the universe perspective changes everything!
A change in my attitude or perspective tends to transform me rather than the situation itself. The situation just is, and I am the only variable in it over which I have any control. Once I make a shift, the situation may look ripe with possibilities, or I may realize I was trying to make it more important than it was.
Thought of this excerpt from Rumi as I was writing this post, “Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?”
Thank you for your reflection. It helped me to come to a greater appreciation of gratitude.
I began to drink again in June 2009 after a 17 years and change of sobriety. My attitude at the time was I deserved to drink after successfully raising my children sober so I “gave myself permission”. Until Feb. 17th 2022 I had many periods of sobriety and just as many relapses. Many times the relapse was due to my mindset of despair and just f_ _ _ it. I began this journey of mindfulness, meditation and gratitude March 1, 2022. With the help of addiction therapy, group and individual, and my continuing practices I have changed my attitude and perceptions for a better situation in my life and those of my loved ones. Extremely grateful for this site and all of the other support that I lean on. Thank you all.
I too am glad you are a part of this community. One day at a time, keep up the great work:)
You are dealing with a very hard thing,
dear Joseph . . .
and I champion your healing.
You may not feel it
but I am with you all the way.
I think everyone here
supports you as well
with love . . .
We are glad for you and glad you are here.
Joseph your words and your lived experience gives me hope for myself. I never drank until around age 52, Of course, I would drink occasionally but not daily – or weekly…then that all changed! When I got married, my husbad was brought up with “cocktail hour” and wow…didn’t that sound good. People could drink and be responsible and have fun! I never knew about this type of a life (My father was an alcoholic…when he was good- he was awesome…but when drinking- a nightmare”. It seemed that my life and who I was changed. I looked-look forward to that “Happy Evening” every day. Now…it has become a problem for me. But with so much good in my life…I have to get and stay sober. Something that I never thought would affect me. Thank you once again…for sharing your life- and being a great example.
So glad you’re here, Joseph. Your posts always give food for thought.
I heartily agree, Laura. Keep sharing, Joseph.
My changes have changed me, I see what is happening in a different light. I’m more calm, more understanding and have learned to love me and others for who we are. I feel less anxious and depressed and my marital situation has grown. Thanks to being more grateful , meditation and supportive.
Beginning my day with a positive, grateful attitude brings a ray of sunshine to any given situation….it’s contagious!
When I looked at today’s date first thing this morning, the first thought I had was John F. Kennedy. I was in 5th grade in a new school … we had moved to Florida and knew almost nobody. I think in some strong ways, the President’s death and the manner in which it took place changed my world. The naivete I had thus far known in life was gone in an instant. I realize as I write this that I have carried within me less trust, less hope , and a level of distrust for a very long time.
I was in first grade Pilgrim. I can recall vividly when the news came over the intercom about President Kennedy being shot in Dallas. The teacher fainted and went to the ground like a balloon that slowly lost its air.
Shifting your perspective can drastically change things! It might not change the situation itself, but it can help us find peace with whatever we are dealing with. I’ve practiced this with multiple things and have to do it a lot at work as I remind myself that I am no longer in charge of anything/anyone except my own self and that I stepped down for those very reasons.
By changing my attitude or perspective it can transform a situation from perhaps anxiety to calmness, sadness to resolve.
It usually changes my approach to the situation at hand for the better. And it’s also easier to write this than it is to actually do it! I used to have a poster hanging on my office wall that teens would see upon arrival for various support groups during the week. It depicted a disgruntled image of Calvin, (of the Calvin and Hobbs comic strip) with the words, “Don’t confuse me with the facts. My mind is made up!” More often than I care to admit, that message was just as much for me as it was for young people.
An attitude of gratitude has changed my entire life!
Have to agree with you Carol. When I remind myself how fortunate I am to have just the simple things my days are full of much more happiness and both my mental and physical health have improved. This morning I woke to a warm cup of coffee in a warm home and time to look out over the garden. I have it all! And the issues ahead are just more stuff that I will work through and they will pass. I have it all.
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