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I have spent a good majority of my life, trying to make sure I never did or said anything that would hurt another person. In reality while I did that, I was truly only discounting my own thoughts and feelings. I truly felt as if I was doing the “right” thing at the time, but after 32 years, I’ve seen that although my intentions were pure, I never allowed for others to see me…. as I still am finding out who I am.
Gain person on how you are seen or experienced by others by just simply looking at who you’re surrounded by.
People tend to surround their selfs with people who are similar to them, whether that be by personality, hobbies or interests.
By grasping who everyone you surround yourself with is like, it should give you a pretty good idea on how your perceived.
Ask them. But am I willing to hear?
I don’t want to spend any more time worrying about what others think or see me as. I had issues with being perfectionist and people-pleaser. I wasted so much time trying to make everyone like me. Even did things I didn’t agree with so I could be accepted. Now, I just want to like me. I just want to know that I am enough. I am not comparing myself to anyone or holding myself to someone else’s standard, I know that I am trying to be my best self, what other people see or think does not matter.
I agree that it is important to know how I am seen by others but what is bugging me is that do I really need to care about it ??? I am what I am and I try to get better everyday. But I would not like to validate myself by how others think about me! I am more than that definitely!! and I would say I am proud of myself for what I am regardless of other peoples opinions!
Is it watch what they say and not what they do, or is it watch what they do and not what they say?
Is it more important that I listen to you, or is more important that I listen to me, while I am listening to you?
Is it more important to weigh in on the problem or to follow the guidance from those you are led to and live towards the solution with respect, love and kindness?
There is God’s business, my business and nobody’s business. Period.
I do not have to like what is happening around me, but I have to like myself.
Anonymity starts inside and extends out.
Hahaha question from my youth, All my life I wanted to be someone, now who was it? Somebody please just tell me or do I go inside and find out?
From The King’s Man, Reputation is what people think of you, character is who you are.
Know and love who you are. Re-define what love means to me, my journey.
If I am open, attentive, listening well and suspend my own judgements, voice, opinions and sometimes interests and needs, interactions with others can offer reliable feedback. It is my choice to decide how, if and when to respond or not. It is a fine line sometimes, between standing strongly rooted, tall and firm and holding my ground, and knowing when and how to bend in whatever way is appropriate or necessary.
If I am out of line for whatever reason and in whatever way and someone provides feedback to that effect, I hope their delivery is kind or at least not too harmful, and that I am willing and able to hear and respond to their feedback. I also hope, as many have said, that I am able to stand strongly and firmly in my own being, truth and needs. It ain’t over ’til it’s over 🙂 …
I don‘t want to frighten somebody or make anyone feel bad because of my behavior or outlook. But respect starts with selfrespect. My freedom ends at the point where the freedom of somebodyelse starts. For the moment I am as I am. Some will like me ,some will be indifferent, others will not like me at all. We all know, that we are beyond good or bad in essence. But we can strive and work for the good , what will reduce the bad, that makes us unhappy
“How can I gain perspective”..English is not my mother tongue so I may be mistaken in my understanding of the question of the day. If so, I am sorry. But here is what came to mind as I read it. I get a lot of feedbacks…People often tell me how they perceive me and I like it. Not for what they think about me per se but for what it tells me about them. I try and listen as hard as I can and if necessary I question them back to make sure I understood well. Whether it is a compliment or some criticism, more often than not there is, I believe, another message behind it; it tells me something about the person who expressed it. Whatever it is, I try to make sure I understand it properly. That usually leads to a broader conversation where we get deeper and end up sharing. Somehow, we get to know each other a bit better I think…
Do I ignore how I am seen or experienced in the process? I guess not. I take it as a kind of indicator that shows if I am congruent or not. If that makes any sense…
This reminds me of the statement that what someone says about you tells you something about the other person, not about yourself. That’s its own kind of insight and perspective.
For me this question goes in a different direction than some of the comments. This type of exterior perspective is part of how I hold myself accountable for whether I apply my unearned privileges to create justice for others.
If I’m perceived to be upholding systems of white supremacy from which I benefit then I am failing in my commitment to work for racial justice. If someone with a disability would think of my comment as upholding ableism and failing to dismantle barriers, I’ve failed in that. (There are many more -isms and examples, of course.)
Years ago I began using Twitter as a learning space in which to follow and *listen to* the perspectives of people with different lived experiences than mine. When I read how they experience someone else’s behavior it helps me internalize the change I want to be in the world. I can check myself with that perspective and mindfulness before speaking or acting.
Perhaps surprising that a social media space can support mindfulness–more that it’s free learning if you seek good teachers. Someone’s honest statements of “Can you believe they….” reminds me that yes, I need to believe, and I need to recognize myself in some of the things they share that are painful. Twitter is also definitely a space that lets people tell you how they experienced you!
The word of the day quotation about trying to understand more captures my efforts to learn and gain perspective.
“As long as I’m alive, I will continue to try to understand more because the work of the heart is never done.” – Muhammad Ali
Thank you, Barb.
Thank you, Barb, for your incredible insight. I am so glad you saw this question in a different way than I did. I learned so much by what you wrote! I feel raised up in my understanding!
thank you. 🌻
I don’t understand this question? What is this supposed to mean ? I’m not in charge of how other perceptions of me.
All I can do is be here and try as best as I can. If I make a mistake, I can say I’m sorry and try again.
I can gain the honest perspective from others on how I interact with others and how I explain to others my interaction as to why I am interacting the way that I am interacting. How are others perceiving my responses or interactions with others. Is it being perceived as positive?
A clear understand of what “being human” actually include, would be a solid start. For example
Our Guardian Archangel co-vibrates with the Logoic Total Love springing out from us and from the people we love. It is not a small thing for Him, given the opportunity to love and to sense happiness! The first characteristic of the Christ Logos is Total Love. He is the King of Love. Consequently, the benefit [ OF] our Guardian Archangel is to love us.
Later, when we know Him well, we will also love Him once again. He will not have any gain from this. However, we will gain by loving Him because the one who loves derives the benefit, not the one who is loved.
Bottom line summary…. [[ IF YOU WANT LOVE, BE LOVE ]]
As I grow on my journey, I am committed to letting go of how I am seen or experienced by others.
Over my time on this Earth, it’s been a waste of my energy.
Caring…..well, more so ‘worrying’ about how others perceive me, I could have been using that time towards more joyful pursuits & better self-care!!
I am NOT perfect, but I do know…..I live from heart-centeredness & mindfulness with a belief in good for all concerned.
How others see me or experience me is THEIR part of life & of course, depending on the level of commitment we have toward our time together/relationship, well- that’s another added piece to the puzzle.
Lots of comments here about being and not being a “people pleaser.” I would like to be open and curious about others. Less judgmental and critical. And when I am open and gentle with others they will experience this from me. So it’s more about how I am willing to be kind to myself and to others, rather than wondering or worrying about how I am seen.
Thank you, Maeve. I think this is a wise and loving way to look at things. I also try to be loving and gentle and also hope that others will experience this from me. Bless you for expressing this insight and validating this approach.
Thank you Maeve!!
It touched my heart, the way you expressed yourself regarding this topic.
I appreciate your gentleness. You are a positive role model for me.
Have a great day.
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