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I find that what matters is what aligns to my values. I distill what are my core values and occasionally use my values as a lense to see if what I am doing is in alignment. That focuses what matters.
By kindly saying it, as if writing it from my heart.
By remembering that this Earthly life has an end date.
If I can continue to live in moments of Grace and discernment, then what matters is clear and my life choices reflect that.
However, it is when I get caught up or distracted from that Grace or don’t take time to discern, that the non-essential takes over.
The non-essential likes to demand my time, where as what really matters waits patiently for me to become aware, and then live accordingly.
It depends upon the situation, but “first do no harm” sounds like a good determination.
I have a hard time making decisions so this question is unsettling for me right now because I am facing making one that’s tied up in sentimentality and a past resentment. I am trying to discern what to do or not do based on what matters and I’m not at the point of knowing just yet. I am taking a pause at the moment. Action is not always required. Sometimes I just need time and space to let the light in before I can know and even then who knows what’s best. I’m just trying to stay open.
By clearing out the mental and physical clutter. Marie Kondo and her Kon-Mari method comes to mind here (if you saw her show on netflix helping people organize their homes…. she would always ask them to think ‘does this item or thing spark joy?’ and those items that did not spark joy were then thanked by the individual and passed on to a new home – but those items that did spark joy – I think that’s a good way of clarifying what matters….for actual things. This same process for mental clutter is not so easy. For me at least clarifying what matters to me in my mind – people, goals, ideas, plans —- that’s more difficult I think.
Forgiveness and love ❤️ clarifies what matters in my life when I am consciously living.
It’s the old saying: love makes the world turn around. Think about it. It’s a smile on your face. It’s the love you have for the baby you held in your arms, and for the spouse who stands there looking into your eyes. It’s a warm conversation with some stranger in the grocery store. It’s the person driving their car and who let you in line to make the turn. It animates. Our perception of beauty in the trees, the forest, hey slow running a stream a raging ocean of waves crashing on the rocks. If I asked what God is I’m inclined to say It is an energy, a wisdom, a gentleness, kindness that makes up the hardwiring of the cosmos, all reality in our own consciousness. What more can matter?
Yes, yes, and Yes! ♥
I need to use the right filter – and choosing that filter itself is a process of clarification, isn’t it? I think of polarized lenses, filtering out glare and then I see the intensity of a blue sky. Or how people “panned for gold” — filtering and swishing over and over as the heavier gold fell to the bottom. Am I patient enough to “pan” for the gold, the most precious in my life? Am I discerning enough to choose the right filter through which to see what is brilliant and beautiful in life?
So there are two guys in a forest. Let’s call them Ken and Nick. Their job is to cut down trees. They start off and Ken gets a little ahead of Nick and is making good time felling trees with a great big chainsaw, but then Nick yells, “KEN! STOP A MINUTE!” And Ken yells back, “NO! I WANT TO GET THIS DONE!” So they go on a few minutes more cutting down a lot more trees when at the top of another hill Nick yells, “KEN! STOP!” and Ken yells, “NO, I”M MAKING GOOD TIME!” Well this goes on a while. Every few minutes Nick tries to get Ken to stop. Eventually, Ken stops and says, “Now what’s that you wanted?” And Nick says, “We’re in the wrong forest.”
And this is how life can be. We can live a long while before we realize we’re in the wrong forest. And it is why I have always been a “BIG PICURE” kind of person. I start with big ideas and looking as far down the road as I can, rather than let myself get lost amidst the details of today. I want to know where I want to end up, how I want the music of my life to be, and how I want to feel inside. I want to try to be a person that others wish to be around – maybe not everyone (for as they say, if you have no enemies or critics, you’ve stood for nothing!) I designed a vision first around who I wanted to be, that I wanted to leave a positive impact on the world with my life and relationships and community, that I wanted to enjoy life, too, that I wanted to be thrifty and put the savings towards building a lower carbon and more secure future, and that I wanted to give the kids love, a chance at college, and other opportunities for them to make in their own lives, partly by helping them just realize they could do almost anything if they put their mind to it. I knew/know I wanted a loving marriage for the long haul, and I knew some of the things I wanted to do at some point in my life, like creating things, travel, having a dog, hiking.
The challenge for me is not in clarifying what matters because I’ve put time into figuring out my life’s vision. The challenge for me is harmonizing my days with that vision as much as possible. The start of my life had more challenges than most, and even my elder brother is amazed “how well I’ve done.” …No he didn’t mean in monetary terms – I’m still poor, but secure. Emotionally though, I”ve come very far and found pretty good balance, if not perfect. I think most folk would have predicted I would be pretty needy in my life, and pretty unstable, and instead I’m able to give and help and be a rock for others.
So my challenge today is simply to harmonize with the vision of clarity. If I allow it to, it can pull me along. It means I should go to the farm today and do some work, even though it is a cold day and I know the work will be hard and it would be easier to just be at home. The vision means I should be loving today, even though I feel a little wounded by something that happened yesterday. These little choices, harmonizing with the vision, will keep me in the right forest. It is a forest where I am planting trees, and maybe Ken and Nick will even care to help, and we’ll have a good day in the chilly sun.
Yay. I love your comments about planting trees! I just met with an DNR (Dept. of Natural Resources) Forestry consultant today. I learned a lot!
oh oh… perhaps I am in the wrong forest!!!
But like Nick, even though I am in the wrong forest, I continue to cut down trees (metaphorically).
Wonder if this is why I planted over 100 trees surrounding my property?!
Ken and Nick should have been planting trees, not cutting them down:)
LOL – your story made me chuckle and how true it sometimes is!
By continually being here and now. Making a conscious decision to do what is right – if that right is only for me and about me. I need to start letting the pettiness of stinging remarks and behaviors go to the wind and be carried away into nothingness.
61 – Sixty-One
Chung Fu / Inner Truth
The gentle Wind ripples the Lake’s surface:
The Superior Person finds common ground between points of contention, wearing away rigid perspectives that would lead to fatal error.
The subject of this hexagram discovers a key to Tranquility by first gaining insight into his own nature, then turning that vision outward.
By resolving inner conflicts and being at peace with himself, he learns to gain insight into others.
In effect, he enters another, sees with the other’s eyes, listens with the other’s ears, feels with the other’s heart.
He then returns to his own center, with new perspective and understanding.
By responding in the present moment with wisdom and compassion We know deeply what matters
Clarify what matters by asking questions and to also trust your gut and/or the Universe.
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