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IN WHAT WAYS ARE YOU GROWING?
Choosing to PROGRESS vs BEING PERFECT has allowed me to become so humble and compassionate especially to individuals who have different values and beliefs. In the past I would feel the need to prove my point and make individuals choose “sides”. I was angry because i doubted myself and everyone else. Currently I have had an increase level of understanding w/ curiosity vs HAVING TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG!!!
“Keep going and keep growing
I have also decreased any pressured of proving myself, fitting in a box, “me vs the world”and BELIEVING I AM UNSAFE. which increased my anxiousness.
A quote that sums this for me is ‘”human beings are NOT MEANT TO be perfect, we don’t need the people or materials ; we need to uncover our purpose of LIFE and get what i desire.
Am a great believer in growing. I plan to keep growing until I die. The main growth areas at the moment are health related: breathing, getting cardio, flexibility in movement. In spring I usually experiment on trying new things. I keep a careful eye on not overdoing it – not always achieved.
Being mindful of thoughts that don’t serve me well – judgments, ruminating about the past, imagining a future negative event – and letting them go, replacing them with encouraging, validating thoughts. Letting go of blaming, of the “if onlys”, of the “what ifs?” and trying to remain in the moment. Taking a step back and mindfully responding instead of impulsively reacting. Making more space for friendships and relationships; establishing a spiritual practice.
I realise that to at I have to work on ‘wait a minute’ to listen to life and to realise that I need to just be.
Right now after Easter and another big meal- I feel like I’m growing in width😉
But in reality everyday is a chance to grow and learn something new. I try to keep my ears open to learn from others daily!
Right now, I am learning a lot about forgiveness, predestination and free will, the Law of Attraction, and the purpose of religion. I’m wrestling with some questions about these topics that are leading me into some very interesting insights.
Growing in years, perhaps growing in wisdom, occasionally growing impatient.
Tricky question – inspired lots of thought. This website has helped me grow -your questions and everyone’s answers have prompted me to reflect, act, evaluate, and, hopefully, grow. I am certainly more aware of many things and try to be more conscious about my actions.
The pandemic has helped me understand more about my reactions to life. Some I am proud of so that has helped grow self confidence. Some, I realise, are actually my choice when I thought they were imposed on me from external sources. “I am always too busy” was blamed on my work, demands of others…..Now I realise it is my choice. However much time I have, I choose to fill it to overflowing. I am still trying to balance that tightrope -I need to be busy, seems to be a fundamental to me, but do I need to be quite that busy? Where is the Goldilocks point (“just right”)? So, still lots of growing to do which, rather than overwhelming me, actually excites me!
I am appreciating time. I retired recently and love that I can establish my own daily rhythms. It is helping me understand what is truly important.
I’m learning to trust by wanting and not going into a panic or over reacting. Last night I thought my kitten was going to have to go to the vet and having lost my last cat 4 years ago, I was overcome with grief. I had to remind my self that that was then and this is now. I decided to wait and see how he was in the morning. He seems to be fine but I will continue to watch him and if I have to take him to the vet I will. I had to remind myself that I love my kitten and I will take care of him and not let the way I blamed myself for the poor health of the my last cat who died 4 years ago (who lived to 19 1/2). She was feral. I did the best I could with her and I will do the best with him. So how am I growing? I’m growing in trust and learning not to be so hard on myself. I am only human and with the help of God who I am learning to trust as I trust myself and let go of harsh self talk. Trust has been a big issue for me since childhood and there are deep wounds that need healing. As the present shows me what needs to be done and what needs healing I can take action if need be. The past is past. Like most people I have suffered trauma in childhood. So when things come up for me it’s time to reevaluate and think like an adult. Sometimes that means forgiving sometimes it means moving on even without an understanding of what really happened. I was accused of hurting my kitten as a child. I don’t think I did or if I did I blocked it out. All I remember is my mother accusing me and yelling at me and me crying like you would not believe. She never trusted me after that and told me she could never trust me. I was very damaged by that and never went to her when I was hurt. She was a product of her upbringing which was filled with violence. She did the best she could but I never forgot how angry she was and how hurt I felt about being accused of something I did not do. I have asked God to bring it to consciousness If I was repressing something that I need to remember in order to heal. Nothing has come up as far as the cat goes and I have been in therapy since childhood for many reasons. So I’m left to believe I didn’t do anything. Forgive me for going on and on, but that is why when my pets are sick for whatever reason I suffer greatly because I don’t want it to be my fault. The truth about my cat as a child was that as a kitten it was found in a box with a rock on top of the box so it wouldn’t get out. Lord knows what was done to that kitten who was left outside to die. My mother heard it crying and took her in. She had many health problems as a result and non of them were my fault. Why my mother accused me, I’ll never know. I guess she felt someone was to blame. She was a battered child growing up with a violent father, alcoholic, gambler, wife beater, womanizer. So I can understand her misdirected anger. But to accuse a child of something and take away trust was a bit much to grow up with. When I got in trouble she was the last person I went to for help. I kept journals and she found them and read them and shamed me again and again. So keeping a journal private as in this site is appealing to me. (not that she can see it now, she died 13 years ago). Anyway, I’m growing to trust that I’m ok and would not harm anyone or anything intentionally especially a helpless kitten. I have forgiven my mother and wish that we could have talked about this as an adult because that event played havoc with my life in all my relationships. She generally apologized before she passed and we never discussed details. I also apologized for being such a difficult child. We left it at that.
Since retirement, I am growing to appreciate and love my spouse more – in the kids and work years, life got in the way(as the song said – love those lyrics) now I am working and growing to appreciate who he is.
I’m making stuff – creating beauty everyday by hooking simple rugs, creating random earth altars here and there. Identifying myself as a “maker” is a thrilling growing place.
I’m learning to regulate my mood, to pause before reacting, and to recognize my triggers. I wasn’t really sure how to go about doing that, so I made it really simple. I have a daily planner and every morning I write a “10” on the days box on the calendar. I make a promise to myself that I will try to keep the day at a “10”…. if anything happens where I’m less than pleased by my reaction – I go back to my planner and change the day to a “9” ….and so on and so forth. I’ve been doing this for two weeks now and the lowest I’ve gone is a “7”- and that was only once. It seems super simplistic, but it’s making me pay attention more and creating new positive habits, I hope.
Since last year I’ve had a condition that involved opening up my consciousness to a wider spectrum of feeling. I learned that I have been spacing out and avoiding certain feelings. Presently I am going in and out of anxiety, but that’s just all part of the package. There is a growth here and it’s just making me more aware.
I wrote the following meditation in 2016. Today’s question prompts me to share it with you now.
“There are many tenets of Wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness; facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough.” Brene Brown
This quote carried me back to parochial grade school and my religious upbringing. I was taught that to be worthy of God’s love, I had to perform. Grace was not freely given. It was earned. The underlying message being that I could never be enough.
It would be many years before I was able to separate the need to be worthy from the realization that I am, was and will always be of worth. Religious author Henri Nouwen puts it this way: “We are God’s beloved.”
“Beloved” is another word that fascinates me. Does the source of life or God, as many prefer to call that source, love us into “being”?
Many years ago while lying in a hospital, my body racked with pain, I prayed, begging the God of my understanding to remove my suffering. A voice in my head started reciting a short story from one of my favorite books, One Minute Wisdom, by Anthony DeMello:
To a distressed person who came to him for help, the Master said, “Do you really want a cure?”
“If I did not, would I bother to come to you?”
“Oh, yes, most people do.
“Not for a cure. That’s painful. For relief.”
To his disciples, the Master said, “People who want a cure, provided they can have it without pain, are like those who favor progress, provided they can have it without change.”
I cried out, “I want a cure.” When I surrendered, the room filled with a loving energy that is beyond words. It was so powerful I could see it swirling like tiny pinpoints of light. All pain drained from my body and I felt like I was being levitated, I was so relaxed, so totally embraced and accepted. I knew I was of worth; that I was part of something much greater than my current situation. Being worthy was not required. I belonged. I was someone’s or something’s beloved.
I wish I could tell you that for the last 20 years I have been able to sustain that level of surrender but I have not. However, I will say the experience in that hospital room over 20 years ago totally changed my life. The changes were massive and not without pain.
I’ve learned that life lives on life and birthing and dying are part of the process. If we do not die, let go, of what no longer serves our growth we turn our suffering into misery. We function in a kind of limbo until that misery makes us teachable. It is then that we accept and welcome the necessity of letting go. It is then that we realize that every death is a rebirth.
I know my body, which has suffered much from my stubbornness, will greet the reaper someday and it will be harvest time. I’m sure the energies that visited me so profoundly in that hospital room will lovingly claim me. I can only hope that my willingness to die over and over in my life time will release a life-giving energy back into the Universe—a healing energy that I hope will greet others who need to know they belong and they are loved.
Have you listened to the Lauren Daigle song – “I Believe” – -I have copied the lyrics for you but the song reminded me of what you wrote..————————“I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know
CHORUS – Ooh-oh
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe (I)
Oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity
Taking all I have, and now I’m laying it at Your feet
You have every failure, God, You have every victory
Thank you, Cathie.What a beautiful message from you and in this song. I did identify with the lyrics of this song for many, many years. I went out on youtube after receiving your very thoughtful message and listened to Lauren Daigle sing it. Again, thank you.
I love this song! Lauren Daigle is the best voice and profound lyrics. She has helped me just by listing to her. She is a healer! I hope to see her in concert when this pandemic is over!
Brene’s work is really powerful and insightful.
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