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I am realizing that I put people in boxes and expect them to act in a certain way. When they don’t, I am surprised and concerned. One of the best ways for me to decrease the distance – is for me to accept each and every person as a whole being with many layers. Just as I would like them to accept me as the whole of who I am.
I walk from my kitchen to where I am working from home, and suddenly I am connected to colleagues and a world wide organisation through the medium of virtual conferencing. Yes there are challenges for me being at home during restrictions but what a marvel technology is when you walk back from the daily familiarity of it and see it with fresh eyes.
In all ways ! We are all the leaves of one tree.
Through my internship right now at Abraham Lincoln Unitarian Universalist Congregation, I am learning to interact and work closely with colleagues and friends-something that is keeping my tendency to self-isolate in check.
Annie is acting like she wants to call this home we keep talking more don’t really fight much these days she makes my heart melt even if we only seem to be friends right now who live together just her & I.
As for others online I guess by being more humble less worried about how important I look thus able to care more for others than myself not that I am so special they ask it but some need support emotionally I have nothing material to give these people anyways
Offline some customers at work recognized me from riding my bike felt awkward like crap hope they never saw me screaming in road rage lol
Don’t have many others other than my best friend here so I guess I should go join the community I have been meaning to and simply bring a listening presence to people seeking what I basically am too.
Equanimity and mutual respect. 🧚♀️
Disappearing (meaning putting completely aside) the “I” when in the presence of others which makes me 100% available to the person in front of me.
Not sure – but to the extent that I am intentional in engaging humbly, reaching out, and take down my defenses and safeguards, that distance between myself and others will decrease – in their absence and without committed intention, the gaps will widen.
The more you are willing to pay attention to other people’s feelings, you notice how much closer you can get. The bond between my friends and I has gotten closer as all of us were trying to support each other during the pandemic. You realize how much people are willing to open up and how much they get affected by the simplest things. It feels amazing to know that you were able to help someone at times of difficulty.
As I become more genuine in my interactions, I am rewarded with closeness with others.
I am especially grateful for the transformation between my youngest son and myself, as he also has been learning to be more genuine and willing to open up. Last night he phoned late, and we had a wonderful, long conversation, almost like that of best friends. 😊
My partner and I went through a rough patch that lasted more than a few months. Things are gradually improving as we heal and come to a better understanding….as that happens, the distance between us slowly fades away.
I connected with a wonderful person yesterday – we enjoy each other’s company soo much.
With some people the distance is decreasing because of certain societal views and perceptions.
I have been working on manifestation and have noticed bonds healing around me. I also have placed more positive people in my life now more than ever before. This has greatly helped the distance I felt from people before. As someone who craves human interaction and can very easily feel lonely, I can honestly say that at this moment in my life, I feel blessed with the connections I have.
Good for you!
Relationships are complex, sometimes we are sitting side by side, but the heart is far away…
The distances between myself and others decreasing when we can listen to each other – with our hearts.
At a very current and day to day level right now: “distances between myself and others are decreasing “ as I ask for and communicate what I need and want.
An example at work, I am eager to collaborate with the classroom teachers in teaching our ESL students.
At my living place, it is speaking my truth as I feel and see it. Being honest especially around the dysfunction in our group living situation.
However, being gentle and sweet is not something I have mastered!l
Hi Maeve! Great story, you will definitely get there! I’m sure your group living situation can be stressful but with enough patience and breathing you will master it.
Not sure. Because I am not in charge of how others are being. The house dynamics have been impossible and the landlord is going to sell the house. So the tenants will have to all deal with their inertia and move.
The internet and all it holds has given the word distance a different meaning of sorts…..hard to put into words, yet I see a difference since the pandemic. Zoom has been a lifeline to many, and has given me access to my church services, and even some of my volunteer activities, book clubs-all kinds of things. It has brought me closer to some, and created distance with others. My women’s group I belong to has been together over 10 years meeting once a month, except during the holidays. That all changed with the pandemic. We started meeting twice a month on Zoom, and I don’t think that is going to change. We all feel much closer, and are really in a different relationship than before………I am wondering when things change again, and we are able to attend things in person like we used to do, what will be the change in distances then? I seem to be able to see people-all people-needing physical contact now. It is a real need I did not notice before.
My stepdaughter has worked in an office for probably over 30 years. She has a family, so she is not as isolated as some. Yet when the president of the company changed policy and sent out a memo that all work would continue to be remote, she became very depressed. I think it was part of her identity, and I had never noticed that before….They are no longer leasing the building they were in, and they had to go and pack up their own things on a strict schedule to avoid physical contact……I think she was closer to her work mates than her neighbors….and I’ll just bet she isn’t the only one. I think there are alot of people grieving in a way we have never seen, and I think this pandemic has changed- and will change-more relationships than we can imagine.
I do know some of my younger friends now know their neighbors that they just would wave to on their way to work, but now actually stop and talk to them while staying socially distanced. And they are apparently starting to develop relationships…..all this over the past 18 or so months… interesting question….very timely.
So…is this the beginning of changing friendships from work to neighbors once again? Inquiring minds………
Very interesting insights, Mary Pat. My brother telecommutes now, and he much prefers it, because he can be closer to his family. I have heard that some places are thinking of shifting to 2 days in the office, 3 from home. The change the pandemic brought us has revealed many things about our individual social needs, hasn’t it?
thank you much for writing and sharing your thoughts. 🧡
Yes, and my son, who telecommutes, loves it as he knows his neighbors and our family is close. My step daughter is in a different situation entirely, and I know she relied heavily on her work mates for things…..we live 60 miles away, and we don’t drive to Denver anymore, so it is up to them to come here for visits…..all different for so many people! I know that now their family is getting more involved in I think it’s the Lions club or something, and that has helped. But so many changes for so many people…blessings…I am blessed that both of my children live close to us.
Our family will begin gathering once again for our First Sunday Family Dinners this coming Sunday after a year and a half. COVID has kept us from doing that as well as being in person with so many others…We have returned to in person worship and attending kids’ sports activities where I have met some new people. I have started delivering Meals on Wheels, which has also connected me with others of in differing circles. I will soon be working some local elections which will also help me to decrease distance, and will also be starting an exercise class for seniors. I am fully aware that the distance between myself and those of different races, religious traditions, gender and sexual lifestyles, political views, abilities and disabilities, culture and socio-economic arenas still exist. I do my best to keep myself aware and conscientious of the paths, gifts and injustices of others.
Some of the distances are decreasing as I discipline myself to increase communication via hand written notes, phone calls, texts, and emails. The internet has opened up global travel without leaving my home, and yet if my heart chakra isn’t open with a sincere and inviting hello to the other, metaphorically it is I who have built a wall or masked myself up if I’m not willing to take a risk for human connection.
I am understanding the importance of community and am realizing that I exist with the help of family and friends. I need to keep them all close to my heart.
Hmmm… well the internet definitely decreases the space when we should physically not be getting too close, and I’m grateful for that despite the fact that I’m surrounded by people daily at my job. My friends and family, however, I don’t get to see as much. And truth be told, the distance between myself and many of my friends has increased over the past few years. One, I quit drinking so that changed things up. And two, moving out to the country has also proven another reason for increased distance. I’m really not that far from where I used to live (like 45 mins), but people don’t leave their area for the most part. We have made some friends out here where we are, but this busy working life + Covid just has the world all weird right now. I’m grateful I have my husband. I look forward to a healthier world. Praying we get there sooner than later.
I think because of COVID-19, its reach has affected us all, every one of us. The entire planet understands insecurity, loss, fear, overcoming, and the new descriptions of life that may come post pandemic. Each has recognized our fragility. We are more alike than different. Yet even in this arena we argue, take sides, polarize through our biases, which attract like to support them.
In some ways, the distance between myself and others is decreasing because of the ever increasing influence of the Internet.
That said, on an interpersonal level, the distance between myself and those of others who are very different from me personally, are sadly, not decreasing at all. The reasons are many, from social-economic differences to geographical and political separateness. Most of us live in some type of community, oftentimes in concentric circles of several communities. Those communities give us balance, connection, and consistency in our lives, and yet, also keep us “safe” and decisively apart from the “other,” in whatever form that may take.
So true. And watching this happen, I see less compassion for some people, because we are so insulated….
By using the perspective of the other. By trying to understand how the other person experiences something.
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