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WHAT IS ON MY “NOR TO DO” LIST? (first for myself secondly for others)
Rushing / rush to react
Provide contracted energies
obsess over the past / “failures”
label myself as Broken or needing fixing
Anything that involves a high probability of breaking bones.
I’ve always believed the base to any kind of relationship is respect. So defo the first thing on my not-to-do list is never disrespect the other person. The other ones, belive it or not, I’ve learned from my dad. Not it a good way though loll. I’ve seen my dad do and speak things that I pray when I grow older, I don’t do the same. I pray that I’m not like him in some ways. Some of those include: talking rudely to strangers, ignoring someone when they need you, not being grateful when someone does something for you, dismissing other’s feelings, being impatient, exploiting someone’s insecurities or weaknesses, judging someone based on how they look, thinking that someone else is inferior to you. Phewwww that was long!
Things NOT to do:
1. Slack in my academics.
2. Spend unnecessary time on my phone.
3. Hold grudges.
4. Gamble, even if a street magician comes up to me wanting to do so (yes, that was a hard lesson learned. LOL)
Heroin. Meth. Crack.
Never, never never give up … no matter how small the steps, how awkward, uncomfortable, backwards they seem, or how lost, alone, despairing, uncertain or afraid I feel …
Never give up on or let go of that sometimes illusive thread of connection with life, and the people and things that matter most.
The Way it is
There’s a thread you follow. It goes
among things that change. But it doesn’t
People wonder about what you are
You have to explain about
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s
You don’t ever let go of the thread.
– William Stafford
Not fill every second of the day with things to do
Not to feel guilty when I can’t do everything or solve other people’s problems – as long as I have done my best
Not to let details overwhelm the bigger picture
I am more of a “do” guy than a “not do” guy.
-not to drink excessively
-not to over react when it comes to dealing with little things
-not to get jealous
-not to be negative
Do not engage in negativity. To do, remain positive, be in the light, be light & love. ✨❤️🙏
Give money to people with sob stories unless I’ve thoroughly vetted their stories. I learned that the hard way. You claim you need rent money, then you need medication money, then you need increasingly bizarre things and the stories don’t even make sense anymore to prior stories. I care what happens to people but I really dislike when someone is trying to scam me so my default with sob stories if you want large cash sums is like, give me some proof this a legit need. Not feel I have to save anyone from their own choices or be close friends with people who are engaged in what I deem unhealthy lifestyles. Feel guilt for the good things in my life.
Not forget who I am. 😌
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Not to do – Overreact to my kids. Sometimes my perfection gets in the way of good parenting and I just need to let them be their own person (including making mistakes along the way).
a ‘not to do’ list tends to be an unwise list. I read in Science magazine that the mind tends to ignore the ‘not.’ “Don’t spill the red wine on the white tablecloth” – the mind tends to hear “spill the red wine on the white tablecloth’ – best to have ToDo lists! 🍷 🍷
My first thought, Mica
You’re a wise woman, Palm 🙂
To beat myself up for past transgressions
To ruminate on all the ways that I have not been perfect in the past
To forget that others are also struggling to return to school and life
Telling myself I’m a failure (and all the various ways that statement can manifest itself.) Letting negative thoughts take up space in my head. Working myself until exhaustion, and still thinking it’s not good enough. Thinking I’m not good enough. Falling into the scarcity mindset. Forgetting that other people are facing their own private struggles. Forgetting to practice empathy and compassion and kindness.
That could be me talking! Especially the first 4 sentences! I have become more and more aware of my tendency to do these things and am learning to “not do” them but I can’t manage it all the time. Now I will think of you and remember we are both feeling the same and that just as I will then send positive thoughts to you, I am sure you would do the same for me. Both in it together! Keep trying!
#bothinittogether! I love it!
Judging. It is very hard because it is in my nature as a human to form opinions of people I meet. I want to give people the benefit of a doubt and not jump to pigeonhole them.
Not to wake up during the very early morning hours and remember things…like…things my children/grandchildren are going through in life, or how my husband is having a few problems…trying to come up with solutions for things I can think about during daylight hours! I am in CBT(Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and finding it helpful. And not being impatient is on my list as well…..
Ah, yes, Mary Pat – that’s a hard one. I heard a talk recently about our brain and how to distract it from such thoughts by bringing it to the present sensations. The speaker was a neuro-biologist and she had names for the different brain patterns in unhappy thinking vs mindfulness of the present. Warm wishes!!💕🤗
Yes. And to replace those worries at 2AM with positive thoughts. It is starting to work, but it does take awhile, because I am really rewiring my brain after several months of worries taking hold. I am learning alot, and that is so good at my age!
Yes, Mary Pat, I’m shocked at the basic things I’m still trying to learn after so many decades. About a year ago, I shushed the 2AM worries by telling myself that, if I didn’t stop worrying, I’d have to watch the whole 9+ minutes of George Floyd’s murder, none of which I’ve seen in any video. My worries got less, but they tend to recur periodically in lesser forms. So be it. More warm wishes to you – 🥰🙃
Not to think so much! Going through the process of seriously downsizing before moving to a more compact space in a couple of months. Moving from 3 floors to one (yay!). I moved here with short notice, was extremely sick, and brought “everything.” Now I am for real going through everything with a “fine tooth comb” and making a lot of decisions, raising my anxiety to a high level. I need to be spending some time outside, enjoying the dawn of fall. So there we have both my “not to do” and my “to do” laid out for me by writing this.
I am with you, Pilgrim. We are moving in 3 days from a 4 bedroom to 2 all one floor. We are celebrating that this house has been in my husband’s family over 100 years but now time to let another occupant enjoy and make memories. I am so excited, scared and stressed but am confident this is a good move with much less stuff. My word has been trust. Thank you all for your presence. I love the questions (most times) and the opportunity to connect all times) with other seekers. Rejoice in our ability to do and be.
treating others better than myself, not to pretend to be who I really am, a compassionate loving person, to care about what others think about me, to worry about the future and what may or may not happen
Not to do:
Let fear and worry overtake my mind.
Let others dictate my destiny.
Allow my emotions to rule my life. Going to sleep without a few minutes of reflection on all the things I have to be grateful for.
To not forget humility.
nice one i wanna emulate! i should now i mean!
I am not immune to the current affliction that seems rampant here in North America of not acting in my own best interests. In fact I am often awestruck by my capacity for evil. Actually accepting that capacity allows for compassion and forgiveness. It seems that there is a progression from seemingly mundace transgressions against my ethical and moral standards to those that offer much more serious consequences for myself and others. So I keep a watchful eye out for any slippage.
Not to do what is needed and in the same time listen to my heart. Have a lovely day you all out there.
To use my to do list not let it abuse me. So, I’m trying to make more ta-dah lists!
Nice. Love it!
Thank you! I really like the idea of a ta-dah list!
Not to become so busy with this and that worthy project that it gobbles up all my time so that it induces stress and feels like I have returned to the workforce after six years in retirement! Some days that’s easier said than done!
Yes, I hear you!
I can write a list from here to the moon and back.
I mention one thing: Do’nt worry.
Amen/Ahwomen to that one!
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