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Another one after listening to Ghost Stories on Invisibilia. Friendships that are not healthy for me. I have often had regrets about two of them, wondering if I was wrong in ending them, and after listening to this podcast, no. I was right. But I did what most of us do, and just let them fade away instead of breaking up with those people….that sounds uncomfortable to me for good reasons…anyway, unhealthy relationships for me.
i dont need negative relations, people that put me down or drain my energy anymore. i am being mindful of who i am spending my energy on.
I have so much “just in case stuff”. I don’t need it. Really there’s not that much that I need. Most of it is comfort, pleasue or sentiment. Or the “just in case stuff”. I aim to do some trimming of all this stuff soon.
As several have already mentioned, a lot of “stuff” filling my shelves and space much too much. To sort out and let go of, giving away of material items of what is worth passing on to others in need is work in progress and relieving. If I could let go of “things” of my soul´s shelf, the old feelings of panic and despair of times long gone have to be named, which seem to be ingrained in the center of my brain and can be triggered just by a finger snap without exhausting itself… is work in progress, too. To let go of this may need a jump into something unknown so far and where I hope to be able to go with the flow, so to say. So much help needed, and so much help was and still is there. I am deeply grateful. Thank you all., dearly. Blessings to all who come here for visiting and who share, and all beyond, too.
No longer need:
To muscle through life on my own.
To keep all the “stuff” I’ve had for years in my classroom. Time to sort, books, and other materials, and donate to a school that has more limited resources than mine.
This beard was for Jesse
Peace is this moment without judgement,
this moment in the Heart-space where
everything that is is welcome.
Today’s question made me think of a quote from Thoreau:
“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.”
Over the past 2-3 years, I have “let alone” a number of things material and otherwise and my life has been enriched in a number of ways. However, one thing that hangs on is time-wasting distraction. I no longer need time-wasting distraction, specifically mindless internet searching and social media. I have gone days and even weeks without it and I am so much calmer and more at peace with myself and the world. But it’s so easy to get pulled back into the loop. All it takes is one day of using tiredness or not feeling well as an excuse and invitation and it starts the loop. I need to work on better strategies, I guess, for not getting pulled into the loop.
I no longer need material things that take up space. Living simply is living happily.
Perhaps words that are labels. In the deep fog of the past, I recall looking at a creature in awe, wonder and amazement. Then I was told, “that is a bird”. Somehow, the application of that label reduced the seeing of what was. A magnificent creature landed on a branch on the tree, and it just became, a bird. In that same past fog, I also recall being told, “you are Don”. There is a renewed energy to “look again – without the label”.
I no longer need feeling this old conditioned response to the “holidays” of STRESS & STRAIN. This year I am choosing to be mindful of that old conditioned response & turn it off. I am letting it go. What’s to be stressed about? It is the holidays, a time of joy, love, lights, smiles, treats, decorations, giving, good cheer…. I intend to remind myself often to enjoy this time of the year & stop stressing about it. 🎄❤️🎄
Yay, pkr! 🙂
Timely question for me. At 78 years young, I’m in transition from a three-bedroom house as I find and move into a smaller apartment. I’m grateful to my sister who encouraged me to get started early downsizing my “stuff.” You won’t have the space and how much do you really need, anyway was her “pushy” question. Well, let me say that sorting through my stuff plus years of accumulated papers has been a great emotional and spiritual experience. Yes, I’ve had to decide about Christmas decorations, furniture, kitchen stuff — even the contents of my toolbox! Various organizations have happily helped me to part with things I will no longer need. I’ve discovered the virtues of a scanner as I sorted through papers and photographs. I feel at least 50 pounds lighter and eager to lean into a different way of daily “physical” living. Hoping my physical practices will mirror more closely my spiritual practices.
To read the news every day. It is a slog and it only brings me down.
Yes, I do read this and it helps!
Linda, I stopped reading & listening to the news awhile ago. The reporting of the “news” just made me angry, depressed, sad & fearful. I feel so much better since I turned it off. Good luck. It was a hard habit to break. ❤️
Yes, I feel somewhat guilty not “keeping up with the news.” But it just isn’t good for my well being any more.
Self doubt! There is so much I’ve accomplished yet somehow seem to feel inadequate much of the time.
needs and wants…sometimes I get them mixed up. I both need and want to remember that fact Also,. I found myself having difficulty answering this question. It made me feel like I need to perform or impress. Let’s just say that I no longer need someone else to complete me. I may not always be worthy but I am of worth.
I no longer need to hold on to stuff.
I no longer need disposable things, plastic things, shopping bags, trash bags, a large trash can or a big shopping list, because I’ve learned not to be wasteful.
I no longer need to buy superfluous things for pleasure, or as many clothes or balls of yarn, because I’ve learned how to have joy with what I have and what I see.
I no longer need premade food or as much food, as I garden, cook and bake, can, preserve, and make.
I don’t need as much outside approval as I’m better able to accept and be myself.
I don’t need as often to ask for help, because I’ve learned to believe in and be there for myself (and others).
Beautiful! I am getting there. I will retire in June 2022. I am so looking forward to getting rid of so many material items. The mental stress this accumulation brings me is overwhelming. I love to cook, garden, can and preserve, it will be such a pleasure to do it. I thank you for the inspiration.
I will no longer associate myself with people who won’t elevate me or are negative towards me. I no longer have to worry about not being able to get back
up when I fall because I have god to lift me up no matter what
Their ceaseless technological innovations
I no longer need the self-judgment that always rears its ugly head
Thanks Marnie, I am with you and Kim on this one. Letting go of judgement of self and others seems a wonderfully freeing aspiration. Who knows where that may lead! …
Yes Marnie…this too is what immediately came to mind when I read this question. I no longer need to judge myself so harshly for a myriad of reasons…one of which is the influence it has to then also trap me in to judging others.
Ah, but the mind reads, “What do I no longer want?” The difference between what I need to keep and what I want to keep can be measured in tubs, corners, and crevices in my basement. We donate or recycle many things throughout the year, but the outtake seldom exceeds the intake, so of course, it’s all my wife’s fault.
HAHAHAHA! Of course.
Resentment and to hold grudges.
In May, I had to transition out of a work center that I directed for 9 years. I’m now in a tinier space. Shredding of more old files is needed as management modified the location. Last week I was informed I’m still somewhat needed, I just won’t be returning to the space.
You are always needed, Carla. Don’t let their fickle decisions get to you. 🏵
Thank you Holly. this has been a challenging change in my work life.
I will light a candle for you today, Carla. This doesn’t read like it has been an easy transition.
Thanks Mary Pat, yours & Holly’s comments touch me. It hits me that I’ve not had any validation for this significant job location loss. It’s more complicated and lol, it dawned on me I’m looking for a “fast forward” button. One step at a time is needed.
Stress…. no one needs stress, it’s how we deal with it that matters:)
I’ve got some stuff sitting in the back of my mind that I no longer need. It occurred to me recently that I was still angry over something that a friend had said a few years back. Long story, but basically she told two people some very personal, private things about me without my permission. Things I never would have wanted them to know anyway because they are not close to me. I’ve realized I have lost trust in her. But I’ve also realized how it’s weighing on my mind and costing me some peace. I’ve been working on the forgiveness process, and I’m trying to figure out if I should tell her or not. It’s hard because I want her to know the truth, but despite my anger over it, I also don’t want to hurt her feelings. Confrontation is not my forte!
Perhaps you can look at why you want to tell her? Is it hope for some acknowledgement or validation from her? You don’t need that from her, you need that from yourself. Or is it because you want her to know it is wrong to do what she did? I just wonder if this is the route to the inner peace you would like to have. I hope you get that peace. 🕊
I don’t need the validation, but perhaps the acknowledgement. The thing is, I don’t think we can be friends anymore. And I don’t think it’s right to just “ghost” someone, so that’s why I feel the need to tell her. I want her to know why I don’t want to spend time with her, why I don’t tell her details about my life anymore… because she can’t keep her mouth shut, which I’ve always known, but I hoped our relationship was important enough that she wouldn’t blab my private stuff to people that didn’t need to know… or to anyone as far as that goes!
That’s why it’s a struggle. Because I do love her, but loving someone doesn’t mean I have to maintain a relationship with her. I care about her feelings, but I also think it’s important that she knows how she made me feel. It will take a lot of prayer and meditation to find the resolution!
Yesterday was the last meeting of the grief counseling group that I participated in. The topic was, what do you let go, what do you leave behind, and what do you hope for the future? The counselors asked us to be quiet for a moment, and then to write down whatever comes to mind. In my mind came on “sentiment”. Things from Karel that are of no use to me, and that actually get in the way. I am going to clean up. That will be very difficult, I already cry at the idea, but that is also something I want. He gave me beautiful memories and little sweet things that say much more than all his other stuff.
Dear Christine, thank you for sharing your truth with all of us here. I can empathize with you. I am going thru my own grieving as well, having lost my dear brother recently & placing my mom in a nursing home, which is like losing her too. My brother was such a huge part of my life & my life’s journey. Grieving is hard. My heart hurts for you. I will pray for you. Please be gentle with yourself. Be mindful of self-care. ❤️🙏❤️
Dear PKR, thank you for your nice response. It also seems very difficult to me to lose a brother. I can imagine that you are very sad about that. I wish you the best. Also for your mother. To have to let go of a child and also move to another home will be very emotional. A prayer for you both.💕🦋🌹
Thank you Christine. Blessings to you.🙏❤️🙏
You are not clearing away Karel. He is always with you. You have memories and love. But last year’s leaves and stalks make the compost to grow the garden of the new season, but space is needed to grow anew. This is a brave step and he would be proud of you. ❤
Deur Holly, Thank you so much. I am so grateful for seeing you writing Karel’s name. It gives me a feeling of care for me, but also for him. 💞🌹
Such a tender journey that you’re on here, Christine. Holding you in prayer and in gentle Light.
Thank you, dear Kevin. I always find it special to come here. Here with a group of people where we can all tell our story. There is no judgment here, but there is a loving response. I am convinced that this website has helped me and still helps me in my grieving process. Thanks again, Kevin.
By the way, what a coincidence…..this question. It also tells me you are on the right track. Totday’s question feels als a gift from universe. 😊💞
Good morning, Christine. I know it will be difficult, but I hope it will also be healing as well. Perhaps what you clean up will be helpful to another person, if you choose to donate whatever things you are cleaning up. Sending you love, peace, and comfort.
Dear Sunnipatti, you are very sweet with a lot of understanding for the emotions of others. I sent you a big hug and love 😘❣.
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