Lately,
I’ve been thinking about failure,
or rather what is perceived failure
in our culture
and our society.
People fear it
and try to avoid it at all costs,
which opens the door even wider
for failure to come in
and make a home.
Through my practice
and learning to embrace what scares me,
I’ve decided to invite failure in for a chat.
I am nothing
and know that I am nothing,
and never had a desire to be famous,
but I did want to be able to make a living
doing what I love.
Rejection and fear
have successfully tamped that desire down,
and truth to tell,
I didn’t really try as hard as I could have.
Well,
spurred by the question of self-nourishment,
we had that little talk
failure and I.
We made friends
and I am realizing two things . . .
failure
is not the monster I thought it was,
and I am not the person I thought I was.
And a third post script,
most things
are not what I thought they were.
I now know
that there are and have been
millions of people
who are better at what they do
than I am,
and also better than what most ‘successful’ people do . . .
it’s a matter of many things,
but timing is one.
These people
who never make it to pinnacle of success
are often more contented
than those who do,
and to me
that is success at its best.
Henry David Thoreau
thought of it this way:
““If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal — that is your success.”
I enjoyed my conversation with failure,
and through it all,
made a new friend . . .
success. ♥
Much of what you said here, while something came up this evening which is needed to be understood and to be changed, if possible. Thank you for all your inputs. What came up today is that part of me is not fully present, which needs to be looked at. It might look as if not taking full responsibility, or not being interested, bored or haughty. Inside I know it is not like this. But in the same time, it repeatedly creates very painful experiences in all concerned. So this will need nourishment to be explored in order to be transformed. I can only express my deep apologize towards the ones concened and will do needed work as good as possible, hoping some time will be given to move and transform what needs to change. A simple but may be important aspect might also be that I simply have difficulty to hear and so to understand things well and differentiated when in a discussion and I tend to withdraw then inbetween, like tonight, when I simply forgot to take the hearing aids. Thank you for listening and may you have a good nights sleep tonight.
Oh,
dear Ose . . .
I think you are too hard on yourself.
I doubt that those who know and love you
would think any of those things about you.
Not being able to hear well
can pull you back inside of yourself,
and hide from others.
My husband withdrew
when his hearing worsened . . .
he would pretend to hear when he didn’t,
and agree with things he wouldn’t have
if he had heard them right,
so I have a little understanding of this.
He was too proud
to ask others to repeat themselves,
not wanting to admit the problem.
Now,
with the hearing aids
he is much better.
He no longer judges himself
but always makes the effort to participate.
He has ‘come out of the closet’,
so to speak,
and can ask the person to repeat again
without shame.
In truth,
I don’t think you have to apologize for anything,
except to say,
“I’m sorry,
I did not hear you.”
It’s no personal fault of your own . . .
you are good and true and kind.
All will be well. ♥
Thank you so much for your understanding and kindness, dear Sparrow! it soothes my soul tonight, and now I will rest and let go. Thank you dear Sparrow for being with us each other.
Thinking about the “aspects of my life”.
If by “aspects”, you mean, the different things that I do in my life. Like work and music and physical health, than I would have to say, a little bit of everything could use some nourishment.
Maybe some things more than others. There’s a little bit of overwhelm when I think like this. As I have a lot to do today and the list of things that I would like to get to, is longer than the day in front of me. But, as usual, I will start at the beginning and see where this leads me. Trying not to think too far down the road. But my first step is gratitude. 🙏
I believe it is important to remind myself daily that the tree of life is within me. Black Elk’s quote hit me hard right between the eyes! “It may be that some little root of the sacred tree still lives. Nourish it then, that it may leaf and bloom and fill with singing birds.” I say that it lives within each one of us. It is our home. I hope you have time to read Richard Rohr’s meditation.I’m in the winter of my life and I identify totally with his words.
I share a poem I wrote many years ago. I named it “Clear Seeing” but I could have named it “Coming Home.”
CLEAR SEEING by Carol Ann Conner
WE ARE PILGRIMS ON THE JOURNEY.
WE SEARCH BUT ALL PATHS LEAD NO WHERE.
WHY? BECAUSE WE NEVER LEFT THE GARDEN.
WE JUST THINK WE DID. AND WHAT WE THINK MANIFESTS.
AND WHAT MANIFESTS BECOMES OUR REALITY —
A REALITY THAT DENIES OUR BIRTHRIGHT
AND IMPRISONS OUR VERY SOUL.
SO LET US RE-MEMBER THE GARDEN.
GATHER BENEATH THE TREE OF LIFE.
ROOT OURSELVES IN ITS AGELESS WISDOM
AND BECOME WHAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE.
WHOLE, WHOLLY, ONE WITH NATURE,
FATHER, MOTHER, BROTHER, SISTER, FRIEND,
SUMMER, WINTER, SPRING, AND FALL,
WITH THANKSGIVING FOR IT ALL.
A reflection of synchronicity it seems,
dear Carol Ann,
for your meditation from Richard Rohr,
including the benediction by Stephen Charleston,,
your poem,
and Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s poem of the day,
I hold a bowl of treasure.
They are resonated with me
and connected me
to a wisdom we don’t realize we have
until the teacher knows it’s time to learn it.
I am so grateful for this place,
for it is here
where I gain both an anchor
and a freedom from chains.
It’s a hit-me-between-the-eyes moment
for me as well,
as I wade through the muddle
of thought, feeling, and projection.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you for this. ♥
The Divine in me
bows to the Divine in you.
🙏
Barb, I just read Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer poem for today. It, too, hit me right between the eyes!
In a Time of Cruelty
In a dream
the old man
teaches me
to gather
any tears I
weep for another
on my finger,
then to touch
the damp tip
to my forehead,
a way to
open
the third eye.
When I wake,
I begin to practice.
The dream gone,
I still see his nod,
his honest,
inviting smile.
—Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
My participation in our political process. Time to dig through the noise on the ballot and see who’s trying to push what. Also, time to catch up on where the state is with regards to early voting and ensuring everyone can cast a ballot.
It’s my last full day in Québec City on the vacation with my older brothers and their wives. They’re leaving today; my husband and I leave tomorrow.
I’m going to nourish my love of new places and learning by exploring on my own. My husband is going to do his own thing. Some things may be closed for the Canadian Thanksgiving so I’ll be open to whatever opportunities come up just walking and looking. It’s a wonderful city and I’d love to come back!
Good question! I would like to nourish this present moment with loving kindness and compassion.
I have this super harsh criticism and or negative thoughts that arise and sometimes they can be overwhelming. My old habits would be to run away and avoid by finding many things to keep myself super busy . This busyness. Could come in many forms . In the ways of over doing workouts, extra university classes or vitrifications . The list of activities could be endless.
Now seeing through this masquerade is eye opening!
There is no where to run and hide from my mind world anymore. The time has come to completely surrender and let go of the places that scare me.
By truly facing my demons I can shine thr light on them and let them go using the method .
Sounds too good to be true ! With this moment when I feel the deep suffering cloning up I can let go and see love in the here and now rather than running away .
This is what I need most right now . Thank you for being here .
I’m glad I took today off – returned safely from my trip to PA. I will relax and settle in back at home – had even made myself a massage appt for later this evening.
It’s the last day of my contract and I need to nourish my positive outlook about it :P. It’s Thanksgiving and we’re not getting holiday pay, even on our last day. I am not sad to see anyone leave, and I am not sad to leave myself. This was a pretty bad job, it’s hard to see anything good about it, (besides the beachfront staff housing, which was all I came here for in the first place) but still, I will not be doing it again!
The Tampa trip was nourishing in every way. It showed that I was able to receive protective care well enough to co-exist with my root people. I’m happy to return home and continue building upon my autonomous empire.
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Nature and sunshine were my much needed nourishment today (4 miles!)! 🌞🍂
Lately,
I’ve been thinking about failure,
or rather what is perceived failure
in our culture
and our society.
People fear it
and try to avoid it at all costs,
which opens the door even wider
for failure to come in
and make a home.
Through my practice
and learning to embrace what scares me,
I’ve decided to invite failure in for a chat.
I am nothing
and know that I am nothing,
and never had a desire to be famous,
but I did want to be able to make a living
doing what I love.
Rejection and fear
have successfully tamped that desire down,
and truth to tell,
I didn’t really try as hard as I could have.
Well,
spurred by the question of self-nourishment,
we had that little talk
failure and I.
We made friends
and I am realizing two things . . .
failure
is not the monster I thought it was,
and I am not the person I thought I was.
And a third post script,
most things
are not what I thought they were.
I now know
that there are and have been
millions of people
who are better at what they do
than I am,
and also better than what most ‘successful’ people do . . .
it’s a matter of many things,
but timing is one.
These people
who never make it to pinnacle of success
are often more contented
than those who do,
and to me
that is success at its best.
Henry David Thoreau
thought of it this way:
““If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal — that is your success.”
I enjoyed my conversation with failure,
and through it all,
made a new friend . . .
success. ♥
Much of what you said here, while something came up this evening which is needed to be understood and to be changed, if possible. Thank you for all your inputs. What came up today is that part of me is not fully present, which needs to be looked at. It might look as if not taking full responsibility, or not being interested, bored or haughty. Inside I know it is not like this. But in the same time, it repeatedly creates very painful experiences in all concerned. So this will need nourishment to be explored in order to be transformed. I can only express my deep apologize towards the ones concened and will do needed work as good as possible, hoping some time will be given to move and transform what needs to change. A simple but may be important aspect might also be that I simply have difficulty to hear and so to understand things well and differentiated when in a discussion and I tend to withdraw then inbetween, like tonight, when I simply forgot to take the hearing aids. Thank you for listening and may you have a good nights sleep tonight.
Oh,
dear Ose . . .
I think you are too hard on yourself.
I doubt that those who know and love you
would think any of those things about you.
Not being able to hear well
can pull you back inside of yourself,
and hide from others.
My husband withdrew
when his hearing worsened . . .
he would pretend to hear when he didn’t,
and agree with things he wouldn’t have
if he had heard them right,
so I have a little understanding of this.
He was too proud
to ask others to repeat themselves,
not wanting to admit the problem.
Now,
with the hearing aids
he is much better.
He no longer judges himself
but always makes the effort to participate.
He has ‘come out of the closet’,
so to speak,
and can ask the person to repeat again
without shame.
In truth,
I don’t think you have to apologize for anything,
except to say,
“I’m sorry,
I did not hear you.”
It’s no personal fault of your own . . .
you are good and true and kind.
All will be well. ♥
Thank you so much for your understanding and kindness, dear Sparrow! it soothes my soul tonight, and now I will rest and let go. Thank you dear Sparrow for being with us each other.
((( ♥ )))
Thinking about the “aspects of my life”.
If by “aspects”, you mean, the different things that I do in my life. Like work and music and physical health, than I would have to say, a little bit of everything could use some nourishment.
Maybe some things more than others. There’s a little bit of overwhelm when I think like this. As I have a lot to do today and the list of things that I would like to get to, is longer than the day in front of me. But, as usual, I will start at the beginning and see where this leads me. Trying not to think too far down the road. But my first step is gratitude. 🙏
Yes and thank you, dear Charlie.
That’s the best start ever,
dear Charlie . . .
you got this. ♥
I believe it is important to remind myself daily that the tree of life is within me. Black Elk’s quote hit me hard right between the eyes! “It may be that some little root of the sacred tree still lives. Nourish it then, that it may leaf and bloom and fill with singing birds.” I say that it lives within each one of us. It is our home. I hope you have time to read Richard Rohr’s meditation.I’m in the winter of my life and I identify totally with his words.
https://cac.org/daily-meditations/returning-home/
I share a poem I wrote many years ago. I named it “Clear Seeing” but I could have named it “Coming Home.”
CLEAR SEEING by Carol Ann Conner
WE ARE PILGRIMS ON THE JOURNEY.
WE SEARCH BUT ALL PATHS LEAD NO WHERE.
WHY? BECAUSE WE NEVER LEFT THE GARDEN.
WE JUST THINK WE DID. AND WHAT WE THINK MANIFESTS.
AND WHAT MANIFESTS BECOMES OUR REALITY —
A REALITY THAT DENIES OUR BIRTHRIGHT
AND IMPRISONS OUR VERY SOUL.
SO LET US RE-MEMBER THE GARDEN.
GATHER BENEATH THE TREE OF LIFE.
ROOT OURSELVES IN ITS AGELESS WISDOM
AND BECOME WHAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE.
WHOLE, WHOLLY, ONE WITH NATURE,
FATHER, MOTHER, BROTHER, SISTER, FRIEND,
SUMMER, WINTER, SPRING, AND FALL,
WITH THANKSGIVING FOR IT ALL.
A reflection of synchronicity it seems,
dear Carol Ann,
for your meditation from Richard Rohr,
including the benediction by Stephen Charleston,,
your poem,
and Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s poem of the day,
I hold a bowl of treasure.
They are resonated with me
and connected me
to a wisdom we don’t realize we have
until the teacher knows it’s time to learn it.
I am so grateful for this place,
for it is here
where I gain both an anchor
and a freedom from chains.
It’s a hit-me-between-the-eyes moment
for me as well,
as I wade through the muddle
of thought, feeling, and projection.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you for this. ♥
The Divine in me
bows to the Divine in you.
🙏
Sparrow, the divine in me bows right back to the divine in you and to the divine in all creation.
((( ♥ )))
Extra appropriate on Canadian Thanksgiving!
🙂
Barb, I just read Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer poem for today. It, too, hit me right between the eyes!
In a Time of Cruelty
In a dream
the old man
teaches me
to gather
any tears I
weep for another
on my finger,
then to touch
the damp tip
to my forehead,
a way to
open
the third eye.
When I wake,
I begin to practice.
The dream gone,
I still see his nod,
his honest,
inviting smile.
—Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
My participation in our political process. Time to dig through the noise on the ballot and see who’s trying to push what. Also, time to catch up on where the state is with regards to early voting and ensuring everyone can cast a ballot.
It’s my last full day in Québec City on the vacation with my older brothers and their wives. They’re leaving today; my husband and I leave tomorrow.
I’m going to nourish my love of new places and learning by exploring on my own. My husband is going to do his own thing. Some things may be closed for the Canadian Thanksgiving so I’ll be open to whatever opportunities come up just walking and looking. It’s a wonderful city and I’d love to come back!
Quebec City is gorgeous! Please enjoy a croissant and some beautiful views for me. And the St. Lawrence river, so stunning.
We took the river cruise yesterday. Gorgeous fall colors blazing everywhere and Montmorency Falls gushing down the hillside. Love this city!
My office space at home could use some tidying up so that it is a peaceful space to concentrate.
… sigh… yes, need this to be done by me also. Thank you for the riminder.
… sigh …
me too,
dear Ose. ♥
🐌🐢😉🙏❤️
My body needs movement – my yoga for seniors class is so good for me and I have been missing out. Today us the day.
Good question! I would like to nourish this present moment with loving kindness and compassion.
I have this super harsh criticism and or negative thoughts that arise and sometimes they can be overwhelming. My old habits would be to run away and avoid by finding many things to keep myself super busy . This busyness. Could come in many forms . In the ways of over doing workouts, extra university classes or vitrifications . The list of activities could be endless.
Now seeing through this masquerade is eye opening!
There is no where to run and hide from my mind world anymore. The time has come to completely surrender and let go of the places that scare me.
By truly facing my demons I can shine thr light on them and let them go using the method .
Sounds too good to be true ! With this moment when I feel the deep suffering cloning up I can let go and see love in the here and now rather than running away .
This is what I need most right now . Thank you for being here .
Thank you for being here too,
dear Antoinette . . .
I always look for your perspective. ♥
I’m glad I took today off – returned safely from my trip to PA. I will relax and settle in back at home – had even made myself a massage appt for later this evening.
You are a wise woman. Enjoy your massage. After all, your body is your home.
Glad you had a safe trip, Michele. Enjoy that massage.
Michele, I’ll be heading there once I return from my Tampa trip.
I need to workout today. I’m dragging. But I’ll do it after work.
It’s the last day of my contract and I need to nourish my positive outlook about it :P. It’s Thanksgiving and we’re not getting holiday pay, even on our last day. I am not sad to see anyone leave, and I am not sad to leave myself. This was a pretty bad job, it’s hard to see anything good about it, (besides the beachfront staff housing, which was all I came here for in the first place) but still, I will not be doing it again!
You may not see the gifts,
dear Louise,
until later . . .
congratulations
on finishing this contract. ♥
Congrats on getting through it, Louise. Hope the next job is a big improvement.
I took out an old piece of writing with an eye to working on it and sending it out.. It needs nourishment: more than the two poetic images it has.
I’ll be thinking of you today,
dear Christine.
I don’t know what you are writing,
but for me
things work best
if I write from my heart. ♥
Good luck with your piece of writing. Let the words flow.
The Tampa trip was nourishing in every way. It showed that I was able to receive protective care well enough to co-exist with my root people. I’m happy to return home and continue building upon my autonomous empire.