Surrender can become a path into more lightness, joy and gratitude in our hearts and in our daily lives. But how do we learn to live the way of surrender? We let grace infuse us, and learn to take small steps as we begin to shift our orientation towards surrender.

  1. Practice patience with whatever is occurring — ask yourself if you need to back off from putting pressure on yourself or a situation you are handling, right now.
  2. Seek moments of solitude and silence — practice mindful breathing throughout the day by stopping and taking three deep breaths at your desk, in between phone calls or meetings, or before you get out of the car to go to work, the gym, or the grocery store. Have faith that small moments add up.
  3. Suspend judgment of yourself and others — be kind to yourself and those around you. A simple practice is to smile more, and to allow a soft and sincere smile to change your entire energy. Throughout the day, smile at yourself and others with gentleness.
  4. Relax your body when possible — notice if your jaw is tight, and release it; notice if your shoulders are hunched up towards your ears, and drop them; and notice when you’re leaning forward in your chair, and sit back.
  5. Be grateful for all the little things — a cup of tea, comfortable shoes, a poem or a prayer, or helpful words from a friend.
  6. Stay in the present moment — ground yourself by focusing on your feet and asking: Where am I, and What am I doing?
  7. Meet your resistance with an open heartOh, there’s my resistance. And then ask yourself: What’s the invitation here for surrendering?

Within each day is an invitation to embrace surrender and open up to more joy and gratitude in big and small ways. Surrender is a grace and a choice we can make every day.

Colette Lafia

Colette Lafia

About the author

Colette Lafia is a San Francisco-based spiritual director, workshop leader, and writer. She is the author of Seeking Surrender: How a Trappist Monk Taught Me to Trust and Embrace Life, and Comfort & Joy: Simple Ways to Care for Ourselves and Others. Colette has a passion for helping people connect more deeply with the presence of the sacred in their daily lives and blogs about it at