Play is a behavior already embedded subcortically within our brains. This means we don’t need to learn how to play, we just need to find ways to activate it. And when we do, our lives change for the better in surprising and far-reaching ways.
Stuart Brown, PhD, Founder of the National Institute for Play in the United States
Welcome to Day One of Reclaim Play
In 1989, the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child declared that play is a fundamental human right of all children around the globe. This pronouncement affirmed the essential role of play in the well-being, development, and learning of young people — a stance against the reduction of play time in some cultures and child labor in others. While the research around the importance of play for kids is well established, it turns out that play is also vital for the overall well-being and happiness of adults. The more you play, the higher your chances for positive relationships, resilience, stress management, and joy.
One of the gifts of adulthood is that play can take limitless forms. It can include anything that is done without a particular purpose or necessary outcome, provides pleasure, and opens the door to joy and delight. Dr. Stuart Brown reminds us that “play is art, books, movies, music, comedy, flirting and daydreaming” — a smorgasbord of options! What qualifies something as play has as much to do with the attitude and energy you bring to it as it does with the activity itself.
And since you’re here, ready for more play, click for a surprise.
Today’s Practice: Make Your Play List
On this first day of the Pathway, we invite you to expand your definition of play, create your personal Play List, and then play!
To get started, watch What Makes You Happy, an 8-minute playful but profound video in which Tanja Bjørn Zabell shares the way she brings a sense of play to her daily life, including in times of loss and grief.
After watching, take a few moments to reflect:
- In what ways is Tanja courageous in her sense of play?
- What forms of play have sustained you in difficult times?
Now that you’ve watched the film, you’re ready to create your Play List. If you’ve ever made a music playlist for someone — a “mixtape” back in the day or a Spotify list today — you know how selecting favorite songs and putting them together in a just-so order is a source of absolute delight. For today’s practice, let the qualities of a good music playlist — personal, diverse, mood-altering, full of surprise — inspire your literal “Play List,” made up not of your favorite songs but of your favorite forms of play.
Step One: Take Five Minutes to List
Set your timer for five minutes, and dive in. Make a list of the kinds of play that you enjoy and that you’d welcome more of in your life — your version of Tanja Zabell’s roller skates and flowers in the hair. Remember, play has as much to do with your mindset as it does with the activity itself, so you get to decide what makes it onto your list. Cooking, dancing, hiking, reading, golf, collaging, rebuilding old cars — the list is yours.
Step Two: Select a “Track” from your Play List, and Play!
Pick one thing on your list that you can do (or start) today. To bring more play into your life, choose something that you’re not already doing every day. Reclaiming play depends on remembering that you’re hard-wired for it and then activating this amazing and complex capacity you have simply to play.
Step Three: Post and Reflect
To complete today’s practice, post your Play List somewhere highly visible to you for inspiration throughout the week. Then consider the following:
- Did anything surprising come up when you created your Play List? Feelings of joy, nostalgia, anxiety, delight? Pay attention to what emerged.
- Once you had a chance to play, how did it feel? What was easy or challenging? Did it have any ripple effects that shaped the rest of your day?
Scroll to the bottom of the page (or click here) to find the Community Conversation space where we invite you to share your reflections about today’s practice.
Deepening Resource
It seems that Mallory Nezam was born saying yes to play! She noticed early on that adults didn’t play as much as young people, and she set about trying to understand why and then igniting play all around her. Her talk includes important research about the qualities of play and utterly delightful examples of ways that we can all play, regardless of age.
Research Highlight
Stuart Brown writes, “The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression.” According to the 2024 research report from the National Institute of Play, “Playfulness encourages us toward more creativity and so makes us more able. Play increases our self-worth and so makes us fitter for work. Play encourages adaptability and increases resilience and so increases our stamina. Play spurs optimism, lightening our burdens. And play motivates the drive toward excellence and the desire to earn mastery.”
Photo by Rodolfo Quevenco
I’m just getting to the course now but it brought tears of happiness to me as I am being reminded of what matters and making time for it. All of the comments are inspiring and thanks for the little “surprise” too. xo Meg
I felt such delight the moment I began my list. I am about to drive across country to see family and friends – which reminded my of the time I was helping a friend move from MN to CA with all possessions in her ford escort. We made up games to play along the way and had a “playlist” of songs that were uplifting and danceable to accompany us on our journey. The most spontaneous fun we had was when we came to a stop light and we opened our car doors and stepped out onto the street and danced to Stevie Winwood “Bring me a higher love.” People in the car behind us and next to us joined in, then the light turned green and we sped away!
I loved this video and found 5 minutes far too short to list all the ways I used to play (and so sorry to think of how many of them have disappeared from my life) The idea of choosing one: playing croquet, was wonderful. I used to do it so often as a kid, both all by myself and in furiously contested games as a teenager and young adult. The thrill of “sending someone” was huge, maybe I got all of my aggressive instincts out of the way in those days and cleared the way to become a Quaker later in my life.? Now that I’m a grandmother, we just set up a set (not nearly as substantial as the ones I remember from years ago) but enough to begin playing again. It feels great!
Thanks to each of you for the comments shared here. I’m especially delighted by the image of the random pickle being passed around the restaurant and the whole place starting to laugh!
Some of the activities listed I would not think of as play, like gardening, or walking in nature. Even weeding, it is certainly relaxing and meditative, but not playful. I think in order to be play there needs to be an element of delight that is recognized.
I’m thinking of the various ways I failed to see play in my lifetime. Sometimes, when sons were babies, just gazing and baby talking was play, cooking and fine tuning recipes was play, seeing what I could learn about folks I shared an elevator ride with was play. I want to make curiousity a virtue just thinking about all the ways curiousity has supported me feeling more engaged with people and also younger than my chronological age.
One year I went to A “Play Foundation” workshop and after the class we went to a restaurant and there were pickles on each table. One of the Play Foundation teachers handed a pickle to a person at the nearby table (a stranger not part of our party) and said “Pass this on to the next table and tell them to pass it on”. The stranger having dinner didn’t know know why, but just did what they were asked to do. The pickle went around the restaurant and soon people started laughing. The whole place was communicating through laughter. We quietly paid our bill and left. people are more willing to play then we expect.
Thank you. I really liked the confetti, it was a joyful surprise and I pushed the button a number of times. Wonder how to integrate more fun surprises into daily life..
Just reading this and watching the videos lightened my spirit. I think I just realize that while I really like to play sometimes I feel I don’t deserve it… like I have to get my work done first .Boy, that’s an old type playing! I hope this class gives me more freedom and allows me to be who I am in God‘s image with play.
Last evening, after working in my gardens, I was hungry and felt like I needed to prepare something nutritious for my dinner. Note, needed, not wanted to fix something for my dinner. In addition to hungry, I was tired. The idea of making the effort playful came to mind. I ended up preparing the most beautiful and delicious omelette. Three types of peppers, spinach, olives, fresh rosemary, and a sprinkling of feta on top! And the whole while, I was so into creation. The result was just what I needed. And the process was so fulfilling. What a beautiful lesson in making the potentially mundane so playful. Thank you for a fresh perspective!
I loved reading all the comments from this first day and it encouraged me to spend the five minutes writing my playlist. I noticed some ways in which I can bring more of a sense of play in to my life particularly around cooking which I tend to do just because I have to rather than because I could make it fun and delicious. So thanks everyone
My heartfelt appreciation to all who have posted here (and all who have been reflecting privately). Thank you for sharing your tenderness, joy, heartache, and commitment to play! I’m holding your words and stories with care and compassion. Many thanks to each of you.
I’ve been so uptight about the politics in the U.S. that I’m on edge all the time. I’m out of balance so this course will be helpful.
I empathize with you and I think many people would feel the same way which is why it is important to get away from the news for a day or two. Put the phones away and pick up a book or go in your garden. Just relax and put your mind at ease and pray.
I recently went through a rough separation where I lost not only the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, but also all my dreams and two of my best “four-legged” children, my dogs. Malik I had to put down, and Amira I rehomed. I took 4 months off work due to depression. It was hard work to find my play, however my family rallied around me and helped me take the first steps to recovery by planting a vegetable garden. Once I got my fingers in the dirt and saw the new life growing in front of me, I realized that I too could regrow. I’m now back at work, love my work “family” who’ve also supported me through this time. I can’t thank them enough. I actively am trying to remember to smile as much as I can. Not only does it make me feel better, it causes other people to smile back at me! Every day I try to find one beautiful in nature, a flower, the joy of seeing a fawn, birds singing, water drops glistening on a plant after a rain storm, etc. Life has much to offer, we just need to embrace it. I totally agree with Lois’ realization!
The most important lesson for me on day one is that “the opposite of play is not work, but depression.” Perhaps this is what has drawn me to this week’s program, “Reclaim Play.” I feel a sense of urgency, to reclaim joy/fun. Since the death of my significant other, I have not played much at all, if at all. I presume that I need others or another with whom I can play. Now my reflection leads me to believe that I may be depressed. I am grateful for these insights and will continue to learn more lessons this week. I made the playlist, but have been accustomed to enjoying the music/songs with my soul companion. I look forward to pursuing how to reclaim “play.” My realization on Day 1 is that PLAY is not the opposite of work, but rather it may well be the lessening of grief and sadness. I hope and pray to activate my birthright via this program—“Thank You” for offering it.