“We forget to wonder how any of the little things that happen in someone’s day could make them a different person. We forget to inquire about the kindness they experienced, the hurts they may have been soothing all afternoon and the joys that may have made their heart beat quicker. We miss their changes, and we miss being changed by them.”
~Kristi Nelson, Wake Up Grateful
It’s easy to forget to be curious, to become too comfortable with what we know – or think we know – about the people in our lives. In the ease of the familiar, we can end up forgoing wonder and wondering; we don’t leave a lot of space for possibility. Part of cherishing connection, though, is paying attention, asking generous questions, and listening with care. There’s a call to get curious about those we know well and love deeply.
Activity
Photo by Gradikaa Aggi/Unsplash
Today’s invitation is to practice being actively curious about the people in your life – beginning with those at the center of your constellation – and to listen with attention and care to what is shared. Experiment with the following questions, making them your own in ways that resonate:
- What’s bringing you joy right now?
- Did anything happen today that surprised you?
- What did you learn today?
- How is it with your heart?
- Is there a question, idea, or worry you’ve been carrying you’d like to share?
- What would you like me to know about you right now?
When someone shares something with you, experiment with asking generous follow-up questions as well:
- Is there more that you’d like to share?
- What else would you like me to understand about that?
- How did that make you feel?
- What do you hope happens from here?
- What can I do to support you right now?
Reflection
Becoming more curious about those familiar to us takes practice and time, especially if it disrupts a longstanding communication pattern. As you intentionally make more space for curiosity and wondering, what shifts in your relationships? What deepens? How might you and those around you be changed by this active cherishing?
Deepening Resources
Why Listening Is the Most Radical Act, a short essay by Mirabai Bush
Video Recording of the Live, Opening Session on Tuesday, November 16th is below:
Please share your reflections below if you feel moved. We’d love to hear what emerges for you from today’s practice.
Enjoy the full seven-day Cherishing Connection practice.
A really good question can cast one into wonder – the questioner and the responder. The world gets bigger in that moment. I want to live in wonder…. May I remember to pause
Genuine curiosity is opening up a deeper sense of connection for me as I realize we’re also connected by our hopes and our struggles. I was amazed at the outpouring from my conversation partners. We’re hungry to be really listened to, to be heard. What a comfort to know we’re not alone.
The questions about being curious with people, inspired me to listen more, and be more ready to give a hand to someone else. I think, one needs to get out of your comfort zone with care, and gratitude..
The spiral exercise, brought good and not so good memories about my family , friends, and others. I am so sad that I am not talking with with some members of my family. I need to start healing that connection, and reaching to them, even though, I know I am going to be rejected.. It is going to take lots of time, care, and patience
I am a happy person with longing sadness. What an oximoron.
So grateful, I have join this Gratefullness Universe.
Lovingly
Mandy,
What a beautiful and open reflection. It’s always poignant when we’re reminded that happiness and longing live so closely in our hearts. I do wish you healing in your journey; may your gestures of care be received with appreciation.
Warmly,
Sheryl
I love these questions to think about. Trying to become a better listener and these ideas are helpful.
Thank you.🙏🏼
Susan
Also, thank you for posting the video session !🍁