Anchored in your inner stillness, you can — now, as a second step — pay full attention to everything that the moment contains.
Br. David Steindl-Rast
Welcome to Day Two of Stop.Look.Go
Looking begins by noticing and appreciating the “ordinary” things you can be grateful for at any given moment. It starts with awakening your senses — in whatever capacity these are available to you — to the world around you. Through practice, attuning your senses evolves into an attitude of the heart that allows you to discover opportunity in each moment, even the challenging ones.
Br. David suggests asking this question: “What’s my opportunity here?” And most of the time, he continues, there is an opportunity to enjoy — “the sounds, smells, tastes, texture, colors, and,” he continues, “with still deeper joy, friendliness, kindness, patience, faithfulness, honesty…” In other words, looking is about attuning to the world around us, not taking it for granted, and enjoying its gifts.
But of course when we slow down, get present, and tune in to all of life, this also requires that we “see” the world’s suffering and don’t close ourselves off from our own grief or struggle. We cannot, of course, be grateful for disease or the loss of a loved one, war or injustice, climate change or unmet dreams. But when we learn to “look” from a place of presence, we actually build our capacity to take in life’s beauty and life’s heartaches. We don’t become grateful for the latter, but we can learn how to discover the opportunity that is presented in each moment of our lives. We can learn to carry our sorrows alongside our joys. This is the second step of Stop.Look.Go.
Today’s Practice: Expand Your Awareness
Set the stage for today’s practice by enjoying this delightful 3-minute film by our partners at Reflections of Life. Vicki Thomas’s utter joy in looking closely at the world is contagious! She shares, “The world that I dream of is the one that we’ve got because I think it’s absolutely incredible. My job is just to look. I think that’s why I’m here. It’s my greatest pleasure. It’s what makes life worth living.”
Step One: “Look” Closely
Choose one of your senses — sight, sound, touch, taste, smell — and for five minutes pay close attention to all that is offered to you through this particular sense. Here are some simple examples to help you get started on your own list:
- Grab a snack, and really savor the flavor, texture, and smell of what you’re eating.
- Listen, without distraction, to a favorite song or musical performance.
- Look closely at the face of someone you love, whether in person or in a photograph.
Once you’ve completed the five minutes, write down three things you noticed and appreciated when you focused your awareness in this way, paying particular attention to anything you might sometimes take for granted.
Step Two: “Look” Expansively
Using the same sense you used in step one, zoom out and take a big picture view. Building on the examples above, “looking” expansively might go like this:
- Consider and give thanks for all that it took for your food to arrive onto your plate — from the seeds to the growers to the truck drivers to the grocers to those who prepared it.
- Imagine and be in awe of all that had to go right for music to be created, instruments built, songs to be written, technology designed for it to be recorded and played in your home.
- Take in the miraculous existence of the person whose face you looked at closely and all that had to happen in the billions of years of history for this person to be in your life.
Step Three: Discover Opportunity through Reflection
After experimenting with “looking” closely then expansively, consider the following:
- What aspect of your life would be enriched by stopping and “looking” more closely, by taking greater notice of the everyday things that you may sometimes take for granted or simply forget to enjoy? A relationship? A creative project? Your work? Your caregiving?
- What aspect of your life would benefit from “looking” more expansively? In particular, is there a challenge or struggle you could navigate with greater ease if you were able to see it through a wider lens or the long history of time?
- How do you think this step of the practice — look — could expand your ability to take in the beauty of life as well as the difficult or painful things? How might it help you discover opportunity amidst life’s simultaneous joys and sorrows?
Scroll to the bottom of the page (or click here) to find the Community Conversation space where we invite you to share your reflections about today’s practice.
Deepening Resource
In this short essay, Joe Primo names the way that fear and distraction can lead us to binary thinking and become a roadblock to “looking” with perspective. Highlighting the liberation that can come through the practice of observation, he writes, “When fearful thoughts and reactions contribute to limited thinking, living gratefully guides you towards an alternative path that begins with observation. Rather than only seeing a threat, you can explore what is before you and look for an opportunity. Here, you see the ever-changing and fluid nature of life and can respond accordingly.”
The Grateful Life Is a Liberated Life by Joe Primo
Research Highlight
The Reflection Step Matters
Research by Dr. Sarah Schnitker and Dr. Jo-Ann Tsang at Baylor University demonstrates the importance of reflection for moving from gratitude as activity to gratitude as emotional state. Their research reveals that without reflection, we return quickly to whatever our baseline level of happiness is, despite the effects of positive or negative life events. They explain that it is “through intentional deep reflection of what we are grateful for” that we can move past this cycle and “into a positive emotional state of gratitude.”
Photo by Girl with red hat
Bird sounds in the morning —- and thoughts about their journey, travels and travails. The joy of them returning to me every summer and the science of the how.
After I read Day 2 guidance- my first though was “there is sadness sitting next to me waiting to be noticed”. This thought took the form of a dutiful, loyal living doggie sitting next to me patiently waiting for me to see him, notice him. . He had been sitting there a long time, , just patiently waiting. When Ilooked he started wagging his tail. So begins my Day 2.
Thank you for what has been shared here so far. I’m touched by the close “looking” at the natural world, the acknowledgment of all that has to happen before food or flowers arrive into our homes, the memory of a beloved mom, the power of a smile, the poignancy of feeling sadness alongside joy. Thank you for taking the time to share your reflections.
Today I saw for the first time the unfurling of new bamboo sprouts. They were richly lined with color and almost seemed to dance out of the stalk.
The Course in Miracles describes a miracle as a simple a shift in perspective…finding a new way of seeing. I’m not sure how to see suffering, pain or loss differently, but perhaps this way of looking expansively is a way of seeing deeply the way in which loss and suffering can bring us to the edge of our capacity to return to our true self. In the video, Vicki shares how she knew from a young age that she was born to be happy. Choosing to look for beauty and goodness in the world is an active choice, even though it can be a challenging choice. Sometimes, just a smile can be enough. I’ve always cherished the practice of ‘benevolent glancing’ that Thich Naht Hanh practiced. Sometimes a smile is enough, and besides we all do look better when we smile;)
Listening: birds(many different songs), rain, voices, car wheels in rain, dog breathing softly, my own breath, hum of appliances. Remembering a therapist saying we have two ears and one mouth. This was so calming and grounding after a busy day and a fight with my daughter who struggles a lot with anxiety and depression. It brought me wonder of all that is happening around me that aren’t usually noticed since we are too busy, distracted by what we need to do or finish before bed. This practice would benefit my life to feel, hear, see, experience what is happening right now along with emotions, challenges, sorrow, joy, exhaustion. An opportunity to nurture myself and approach from a wider or different lense and perspective 🪷
I looked deeply at a flower arrangement 💐 our daughter made & gifted me for Mother’s Day. I found myself mesmerized & began to describe the flowers & greenery in creative ways I never imagined. From the macro level I felt grateful to the earth, the growers, transporters, wholesalers & to our daughter who thoughtfully selected the flowers and created a design ❤️ What a beautiful practice that will create expanse in all aspects of my life! It’s a new level of appreciation.
Looking closely at a plant a friend gifted me I noticed a new twisted stem and I believe that will blossom into a flower. I sent her a photo and she shared back that her plant does not have that twisted stem. Nice that we are both aware of this new twisted stem and we will now keep a watch to see if a flower blooms or a twist appears on her plant.
I see the food in delivery from farm. I portion it out to share. I arrange my breakfast including the blueberries from Fresno and while washing them imagine the folks planting and tending them, harvesting them, preparing them to send out to all sorts of people all around. Some needing this, some just wanting it, some eating mindfully, some tossing them then down or cooking or savoring or offering them. First bite is magic, my body signals pleasures. Then I look out the door and see all the colors leaves take on. I wonder how much I love where I live, and this morning.
I studied my Mother’s picture taken so long ago. I realize that I got my double chin from her, and that our brow bones are identical. Seeing her kind eyes, studying her face so closely, brought her nearer than I can remember since she passed away more than 26 years ago. I remembered how large her circle of friends was. So many people loved my Mom, but none so well as her 6 children. These minutes of looking closely made it so easy to ask her to help me to enjoy this new way of looking at my world. She went before each of us to show us the path. Looking closely at her likeness reinforced the knowledge I have always carried, that I was loved beyond measure. Looking is filling up my heart.
I was aware of the pleasant blend of gentle flavors of oats and wheat cereals, and the juicy, citrusy sweetness of the raisins. I noticed the lovely flowers on the table, commemorating our daughter’s graduation. Reflecting on how looking opens me to beauty, pain and sorrow, I remember that our daughter will soon be moving on, and I feel sadness, while I embrace who she is becoming and how her life is blooming.