The first moment of genuine joy is the moment of commitment to the human experience. Joy is what makes us human. When we deny that, when we push joy off to the margins, when we say it’s extraneous, or it’s a luxury, we lose a piece of our humanity.
Ingrid Fetell Lee
Welcome to Day One of Say Yes to Joy
Joy is a deep well of feeling that surpasses language. It contains part happiness, part contentment, part elation — with dashes of play, surprise, and even transcendence in the mix. It can be a response to peak experiences, those moments in our lives when we describe ourselves as overjoyed, and it can be felt as a quieter but abiding sense of well-being. Joy can also, at times, feel far out of reach. When the weight of our sorrows becomes heavy, joy can seem impossible and perhaps even unjustified. And yet, joy persists in both small moments and grand occasions, in solitude and in community, in the best moments of our lives and even amidst our hardships.
This first day of Say Yes to Joy offers a grounding in the essential relationship between joy and gratefulness. From there, you’re invited to experiment with the simple practice of attuning to the joy that is alive and well in the world — to remove the blinders we can all develop and to open your senses to joy.
To get started, watch this inspiring conversation in which researcher and storyteller Brené Brown explains to Oprah Winfrey why she will never again talk about joy without talking about gratitude. “For twelve years of research,” she shares, “I have never interviewed a single person who talks about the capacity to really experience and soften into joy who does not actively practice gratitude.”
If you live outside the US you may need to access the video with this link.
After you’ve watched the 6-minute video, reflect on the following:
- In what ways do you see a connection between gratefulness and joy in your own lived experience?
- Do you resonate with Brené Brown’s research that really leaning into joy depends on actively practicing gratitude? If so, when have you experienced this in your own life?
Today’s Practice
This practice of noticing and naming joy is an essential first step for the rest of the week’s journey. And the best part? It’s a quick way to access a little more joy, right now, today.
Step One: Recall an Experience of Joy
To begin, listen to this 3-minute guided visualization that invites you to recall an experience of joy and to remember what joy feels like in your heart, body, and mind.
Step Two: Schedule Your Appointments
Pick three times today when you know you can spend 3 to 5 minutes on this practice. Set your alarm or find some other way to remind yourself that you have three appointments with joy.
During each of these appointments with joy:
- Look around and identify one source of joy offering itself to you — a photograph, a song, a neighbor, a plant, a book, a meal, the blue sky!
- Write down your source of joy and how it feels to pause and savor it, to let it in.
- If possible, photograph one or two of your joys and share them with others. See today’s Deepening Resource for inspiration.
Step Three: Reflect
At the end of your day, take stock of any benefits that arose from going through your day with the intention of noticing and creating joy.
- How did it impact your mood or sense of well-being?
- Was there anything challenging about the practice?
- How might you adopt some part of this practice for your daily life going forward?
- What role did gratefulness play in noticing and experiencing joy?
Scroll to the bottom of the page (or click here) to find the Community Conversation space where we invite you to share your reflections about today’s practice.
Deepening Resource
How Do You Take a Picture of Happiness?
The team at NPR’s health and development blog, Goats and Soda, invited photographers to submit photographs of happiness from around the globe. While there are distinctions to be made between happiness and joy — often summarized as happiness being a temporary experience and joy an abiding state of mind — these photos certainly tap into joy and its many manifestations. Allow them to serve as inspiration for your own practice of finding joy in a complicated and challenging world.
Research Highlight
In three studies of the relationship between joy and gratitude, research revealed that joy and gratitude have a reciprocal relationship.
“Not only does gratitude promote joy…over time dispositional joy predict[s] enhanced gratitude,” creating an “intriguing upward spiral.”
In other words, gratitude begets joy begets gratitude.
Watkins, Emmons, Greaves, and Bell (2017) in Journal of Positive Psychology
Photo by Alex Alvarez
Listening to the dryer run. Looking around my living room. Feeling warm and quiet. My new husband is in the house with me.
I understand the idea that, “When we lose our tolerance to be vulnerable, joy becomes foreboding.” That feeling joyful can lead us to pull back out of fear. I am in the best place of my life and puzzlingly, grey and a bit listless. A bit joyless.
Starting late: Day 1. 1. Sharing communion with 93 yr old Josepha & her daughter in law in their home, loving her faith & warm, kind heart; 2. sitting in hottub between log home & ocean with hummingbird feeder hanging by window, feeling blessings of this place, warmth, water & refreshed feeder; 3. watching Andersen Cooper interview Africatown settler descendents during first reconciliation/reparation conversation with descendants of person who brought them as slaves from Africa. this brought me to tears as each person spoke both honestly & respectfully with clear intentions.
1975 or so, that time as I was waitressing at a small bar, watching like a wallflower at peers, all drunk and rowdy, having fun, me feeling ‘inferior’ and angst because of not fitting in with that world. Anyway, a little man with his black friendly dog leaned in the door, before I knew it they had come in and were in front of me. The man gave me a huge grandfather type embrace, the dog was wagging its tail and so friendly. I felt such pure, wordless love, trust and well-being as I effortlessly was embracing him as well. Then, just that fast, they were gone, left. It awakened such a powerful and pure Love within me. Although I did not understand it until recent years, I now realize it is (was and is) the kind of Love I truly want in myself, from myself, toward any other, from a partner, and nothing less will do. What a gift.
I’m a couple of days behind’s nd in the wonderful practice. I’m doing it as a part of a time of retreat and relaxation taken the the Smokey Mountains.
A moment of joy I experienced was just being so grateful to step away from work and regular activities to drive with my husband and terrier, Maisie, to our annual pre-Advent retreat in the mountains. I anticipate this trip each year with great joy.
Upon arriving, I took my customary hike up the mountain behind the cabin and was delightfully surprised by a small deer, then some wild turkeys. What a wonderful greeting! I am eagerly awaiting whatever comes next.
practicing gratefulness each day especially when i feel anxiety lessens or stops my anxiety. So I enumerate at least 5 things/situations/events am grateful with and it changes my mindset and emotions to a more positive stance.
An evening sunset walk w friend viewing sunset over the water and the exploding kaleidoscope colors of pinks and oranges and golden yellows in every direction seriously 360 degrees around us. We both felt enveloped my natures gift this day. She asked to take my photo in my seriously pink jacket. A gorgeous backdrop to my smile she elicited. Sent photo to 3 persons with thumbs up heart and wow, so beautiful responses. This was JOY this day!!!
i love your scenery.
I like seeing pictures of cats as they snuggle up and sleep with other animals
Just managed to respond to yesterday’s assignment.
Joy moments for me revolve around animals and human connections. I live in NYC and when I walk home from work in the early morning (I work the night shift as a mother/baby nurse), I meet the 10-15 dogs walked by dog walkers. Two of the dogs recognize me and usually come sit with me on a bench for a few minutes, while I pet them. A moment of pure bliss and joy.
A joy moment at work: I had my first deaf patient to take care of and teach her how to take care of her baby. While I used a sign language interpreter there were quite a few occasions when the two of us communicated without an interpreter. Two people – different language – yet able to communicate and creating a heart warming connection. I left work with a heart full of joy and gratitude for this experience.
My moment of joy was sharing tea and homemade cake with a dear friend of mine in her campervan – food and friendship! The visualisation took me back to a day in the summer when another dear friend invited me to accompany her to an experience day she had been gifted by a client – walking with alpacas! They are both comical and extremely cute and we had a wonderful afternoon in the sunshine, walking them, feeding them their favourite carrots and enjoying their antics. A truly magical day for which I am extremely grateful … to my friend, her client, Mark the alpaca breeder for his great knowledge, and, of course, the alpacas themselves for their loveliness and gentleness.
Joy is very present in my life as two celebrations are being planned for my 90th birthday on 12/10/. Gratitude and joy are so needed and appreciated because I am the victim of a scam having lost my life savings. Please know that I am resilient and sustained for God protects us from nothing but sustains us in all things,so then I can face all things with courage and tenderness. It is with joy that I can breathe in enoughness and breathe out acceptance.
Oh dear Mary Ann….I am so sorry this happened to you. Faith in God has been my strength as well. I’m reminded of one of my favorite scriptures, which seems particularly apt considering this Joy journey we are on here together.
“The joy of the Lord is my Strength” Nehemiah 8:10
~God bless you as you approach your 90th birthday and may the celebrations planned bring you great joy. 🙏
A special moment of joy i remembered during the practice today is in September our closest friends and family threw us a 10 year anniversary party. As I sat under beautiful twinkle lights outside, eating dinner, sitting next to the love of my life and surrounded by all the people we love and that have supported us through the years, I felt the deepest sense of contentment, pure joy. And our dog we have had for 8 years was sitting beside us too. It’s a moment in time I’ll always cherish.
I took my darling Chaim for a walk in the park. It was an incredibly beautiful fall day in West Michigan!
Chaim brings so much joy because he’s full of life even during his advanced dog years. He loves in roll in the leaves and many onlookers smile or laugh when they see him enjoying his life so much! He inspires me to have fun & not to take life too seriously.
My moment of joy was when my husband called me to dinner. He cooks! Roast beef is a joy for me and I am so grateful for his talent and that I can share in it.
Called to dinner created by someone else? That IS joy!
Today’s exercise was wonderful! I am a lover of all animals, and I live in NYC where dogs abound. One of my ongoing sources of joy is to watch them on their walks. They are so happy to be with their companions and so interested in all of the smells on the street. The dogs in my building all know me and are happy to receive a scratch behind the ears during an elevator ride. I had the opportunity to do this twice today! There is so much to enjoy and be grateful for in life. Peace to you all.
Oh this absolutely made my day to read! I know those dogs in your building love and appreciate you so much. I love animals so much too, especially dogs. Their goofy personalities and sweet eyes, everything about them. Thank you for sharing your joy today, it made me feel joy too 🙂