The first moment of genuine joy is the moment of commitment to the human experience. Joy is what makes us human. When we deny that, when we push joy off to the margins, when we say it’s extraneous, or it’s a luxury, we lose a piece of our humanity.
Ingrid Fetell Lee
Welcome to Day One of Say Yes to Joy
Joy is a deep well of feeling that surpasses language. It contains part happiness, part contentment, part elation — with dashes of play, surprise, and even transcendence in the mix. It can be a response to peak experiences, those moments in our lives when we describe ourselves as overjoyed, and it can be felt as a quieter but abiding sense of well-being. Joy can also, at times, feel far out of reach. When the weight of our sorrows becomes heavy, joy can seem impossible and perhaps even unjustified. And yet, joy persists in both small moments and grand occasions, in solitude and in community, in the best moments of our lives and even amidst our hardships.
This first day of Say Yes to Joy offers a grounding in the essential relationship between joy and gratefulness. From there, you’re invited to experiment with the simple practice of attuning to the joy that is alive and well in the world — to remove the blinders we can all develop and to open your senses to joy.
To get started, watch this inspiring conversation in which Dr. Brené Brown explains to Oprah Winfrey why she will never again talk about joy without talking about gratitude. “For twelve years of research,” she shares, “I have never interviewed a single person who talks about the capacity to really experience and soften into joy who does not actively practice gratitude.”
If you live outside the U.S. you may need to access the video with this link.
After you’ve watched the 6-minute video, reflect on the following:
- In what ways do you see a connection between gratefulness and joy in your own lived experience?
- Do you resonate with Brené Brown’s research that really leaning into joy depends on actively practicing gratitude? If so, when have you experienced this in your own life?
Today’s Practice
This practice of noticing and naming joy is an essential first step for the rest of the week’s journey. And the best part? It’s a quick way to access a little more joy, right now, today.
Step One: Recall an Experience of Joy
To begin, listen to this 3-minute guided visualization that invites you to recall an experience of joy and to remember what joy feels like in your heart, body, and mind.
Step Two: Schedule Your Appointments
Pick three times today when you know you can spend 3 to 5 minutes on this practice. Set your alarm or find some other way to remind yourself that you have three appointments with joy.
During each of these appointments with joy:
- Look around and identify one source of joy offering itself to you — a photograph, a song, a neighbor, a plant, a book, a meal, the blue sky!
- Write down your source of joy and how it feels to pause and savor it, to let it in.
- If possible, photograph one or two of your joys and share them with others. See today’s Deepening Resource for inspiration.
Step Three: Reflect
At the end of your day, take stock of any benefits that arose from going through your day with the intention of noticing and creating joy.
- How did it impact your mood or sense of well-being?
- Was there anything challenging about the practice?
- How might you adopt some part of this practice for your daily life going forward?
- What role did gratefulness play in noticing and experiencing joy?
Scroll to the bottom of the page (or click here) to find the Community Conversation space where we invite you to share your reflections about today’s practice.
Deepening Resource
How Do You Take a Picture of Happiness?
The team at NPR’s health and development blog, Goats and Soda, invited photographers to submit photographs of happiness from around the globe. While there are distinctions to be made between happiness and joy — often summarized as happiness being a temporary experience and joy an abiding state of mind — these photos certainly tap into joy and its many manifestations. Allow them to serve as inspiration for your own practice of finding joy in a complicated and challenging world.
Research Highlight
In three studies of the relationship between joy and gratitude, research revealed that joy and gratitude have a reciprocal relationship.
“Not only does gratitude promote joy…over time dispositional joy predict[s] enhanced gratitude,” creating an “intriguing upward spiral.”
In other words, gratitude begets joy begets gratitude.
Watkins, Emmons, Greaves, and Bell (2017) in The Journal of Positive Psychology
Photo by Alex Alvarez
I was a little late getting started, so I’m a day behind. But I loved this invitation to start my practice of gratitude and joy. I love reflecting on the relationship between gratitude and joy and the spiral. I am grateful to be able to start this practice and to create a space for joy to show up. I noticed that when things show up in my life that are unexpected, and awe inspiring, that’s when joy shows up and then gratitude, and then more joy.
1. Today I got the luxury of a swim in the hot summer and it reminded me of lazy childhood days.
2. While swimming a dragonfly showed up that reminded me of my mother’s spirit. It helped ease some of the grief I’ve been feeling in this last year since she passed.
3. A little lizard crawled onto me while I was in the pool, and I got to feel a sense of awe at nature and how I am a part of it and how nature sustains every creature, large and small. It reminded me to trust that I too am being taken care of each and every day without having to do anything to earn it. For that I am most grateful and it brings me a sense of peace and joy.
Today, I engaged in several joyous activities.
1. My daily joy practice of singing favorite songs while playing with my cat, Lily. I’ve been doing this daily for several years. Lily has learned that after i finish my breakfast, I will swirl the noodle around for her to chase while I sing.
2. I attended Games with Robin, a monthly opportunity to connect with members in my community where we play a game. Much laughter and connection transpired.
3. I led a workshop on our Poetry Connected Meetup Group which gather every Monday evening. It was s smaller group than usual which allowed deep dives in each person’s poem where we offered constructive criticism and kudos for work well done. I am always uplifted and joyous when sharing poetry with like-minded people.
The joy of returning to my weekly yoga class after being away for several weeks. I was grateful to breathe slowly and intentionally and know this weekly practice invites me to pay attention to my breath, to my body and to mindfulness itself.
On a getaway to our rustic island cabin on the ocean the joys are countless and my gratitude boundless. A few of them: the breathtaking beauty and reliability of the ferry trip, the warm greeting from our water taxi captain, the simple cabin, an encounter with a harbour seal mom and her young one. The crankiness I feel when prepping for this excursion melted away replaced by joy gratitude, gratitude joy.
I was especially aware of gratefulness as I was playing Mah Jongg with friends this afternoon. I was thankful to be living in a 55+ community … surrounded by folks who are moving through the aging process just like my husband and me. I was thankful to be blessed with so many friends who enjoy gathering each week to play Mah Jongg. We take turns hosting the group. Some of us live in highly decorated homes and some of us live in more modest homes but we feel welcomed and accepted in all homes. I am thankful for the support that we give one another … especially the emotional support.
I’ve noticed the dry climate and the recent rain showers have both joy and sorrow. I am grateful for the noticing. I am now more aware that tiny joys are where I offer gratitude
I am aware of the dry climate and the recent rain showers- both have joy and sorrow. And I give thanks.
I am now also aware that it is often the tiny joys that bring the biggest-felt blessing.
I am aware of the dry climate and the recent rain showers- both have joy and sorrow. And I give thanks.
I am now also aware that it is often the tiny joys that bring the biggest-felt blessing.
I stopped for simple moments of joy throughout my day today, like watching the big robin taking a bath in our small birdbath, and it made my day lighter. The most challenging part is to remember. So, perhaps using a mindfulness bell to remind me to look for joy will help until it becomes more of a habit. I noticed that gratefulness arose spontaneously when I stopped for joy and then later when I remembered the experience, joy and gratitude were fused with the memory.
I am so grateful to be part of this 5 day joyful challenge! Thank you for offering it for free. I feel so blessed to be part of this grateful living community. I feel grateful when I am with my 8 month grandson who elicits such joy to all when he simply smiles and looks directly into your eyes. What a miracle to witness his pure joy in exploring daily life
I have read the instructions for recalling an event of gratefulness.
The first one was a little girl giving me a seed and asking me to give it back to her at some point.
The second was looking at my desk, outdoors, here on my deck. It is red and a friend made it for me. It gives me pleasure and working space.
The third, which popped up because I read the instructions and the word book was there. What popped up into my mind was a book I glanced at half an hour ago regarding finding what is important in your life and acting on it in an organized way. I feel loved by the writer of this book, and I like his challenge to me.
This book sounds like something I’d like to read. Could you share the title please?
– Sitting at my clean and clear desk, with having had a nice and productive morning using Asana task lists. Now feeling good about having cake and quinoa later when wanted. It’s a serene and comfortable happiness that makes me breathe and relax.
– Noticing 2 beautiful pink blooms on the tropical plant (hibiscus).
– A black butterfly flitting around.
– A sunny summer day.
I relate to the Desk
Joy– a full refrigerator /pantry w/o the anxiety of watching the credit card go up. Looking forward to the time of savoring our food and that my husband Jim has his own food to sustain himself and I do not have to provide all his meals. He is a flaming diabetic and wants to eat what he wants! I am leaning into Joy for these few minutes and know that it will carry over to strengthen me for the Journey,
Living with depression most of my adult life (managed pharmaceuticaly) it can be hard to conjure up moments of past joy, even though I deeply know I’ve had them. They come in small subtle ways, like appreciating the companionship of my beloved cat, or in an almost transcendent but simple experience in nature. In this practice, the first thing that came to mind was a long past experience of sitting high on a bluff overlooking the Mississippi River at a Wisconsin a state park. I believe Joy and Gratefulness are part of a Trinity with Love.
I like and admire spiders…sometimes I find the in places where I know there is no spider dinner…this morning with these grateful eyes and hands I “trapped” a very tiny specimen in my bathroom…believe me…no bugs available her…how did you get in here little one?…maybe 3 mm…easily caught and relocated to a plant outdoors…so tiny yeyy as alive as me or you or anything…how is that? I also find joy in mystery! How is that?