Playing is a form of understanding what surrounds us and who we are, and a way of engaging with others.  Play is a mode of being human. Like literature, art, song, and dance, like politics and love and math, play is a way of engaging and expressing our being in the world.

Miguel Sicart

Welcome to Day Three of Reclaim Play

While play encompasses countless activities, it is also a mindset, a way of being in the world. It’s an invitation to approach daily life with curiosity, openness to surprise, a bit of looseness and ease, and a sense of possibility. In the Journal of Play (yes, there is such a thing!), Dr. Scott Eberle reminds us that play is difficult to define because “it’s a moving target. [It’s] a process, not a thing.” The Play List you created on the first day of the Pathway likely included lots of things to do. Play, though, is also a way to be

When you engage in an activity of play, you don’t know how it will turn out — whether you’ll solve the puzzle, make the goal, dance the right steps. You probably accept these unknowns, and you remain alert for possibilities. Because it’s play, you may consciously maintain a loose stance that leaves you able to respond to what unfolds. You likely bring a mix of skill and levity to the activity. You may laugh at your mistakes or generously offer someone else a hand. It’s likely you are very present because it’s hard to engage in play and do anything else. But here’s the thing: All of these attitudes and qualities are essential not only for the activity of play; they are vibrant and meaningful ways of approaching daily life.


Today’s Practice: Adopt a Playful Approach

Today’s practice is an invitation to identify some of the qualities that play brings forth and then apply those to a specific aspect of your everyday life that would benefit from a more playful approach — one that’s less intent on a particular outcome and more open to spontaneity, discovery, and joy.

Step One: Remember and Take Notice

Close your eyes and bring to mind an experience of play when you felt fully alive and present. Maybe it’s the last time you danced, took an adventurous walk, went to a concert or ball game. Or perhaps it’s a memory from childhood when you were free to play without thought of time, purpose, or outcome. Allow yourself sufficient time to call forth a positive experience of play, whether yesterday or long ago.

Once you’ve got a vivid memory in mind, make a list of the qualities that this experience of play evoked in you. It might look something like this:

  • When I was playing, I was more able to laugh at my mistakes.
  • When I was immersed in play, I was liberated from my task list…I was smiling!
  • Because it was play, I was more comfortable taking risks and being vulnerable.

Step Two: Put These Qualities to Work!

Identify something in your life that would benefit from a more playful approach. Is it a daily task like driving your kids to school or preparing meals? Is it a work project? An important relationship in your life? Perhaps the desire for your own improved well-being? Take your time to identify a specific area of your life where the playful qualities you named above could be usefully applied. 

Building on the examples offered in step two, your reflection might look something like this:

  • I’m looking to deepen my connection with a family member, and I’m realizing that if I could laugh at myself a bit more easily, it would soften this relationship.
  • I’ve been longing to propose a new project at work, and approaching it more playfully would allow me to be more vulnerable.

Choose something that is actionable, something that you can experiment with today or in the near future.

Step Three: Reflect

As you practice applying the qualities of play to other areas of your life, take time to reflect on any changes that occur in your sense of well-being, in your work, in your relationships, and in your own heart.

  • What does it feel like to approach your life with a more playful mindset?
  • What possibilities emerge?
  • Is there any sense of lightness or liberation?

Scroll to the bottom of the page (or click here) to find the Community Conversation space where we invite you to share your reflections about today’s practice.

Deepening Resource

In this short essay, Sheryl Chard shares how planning a friend’s wedding reminded her of the way a playful way of being opens the door to greater meaning, joy, and even the transcendent — play as what the theologian Martin Buber called an “exultation of the possible.”

Stilt Walkers and Love Riddles: Embracing the Holiness of Play by Sheryl Chard

Research Highlight

Play is an essential way that we learn flexibility, adaptability, and creativity (Nat’l. Inst. of Play). According to researchers Sahakian and Langley (Univ. of Cambridge) and Leong (Nanyang Tech. Univ.), cognitive flexibility is “associated with higher resilience to negative life events, as well as better quality of life in older individuals.” They also cite its strong link to “the ability to understand the emotions, thoughts and intentions of others.” In other words, when we become rigid in our thinking or habits (less playful), it limits growth, resilience, and connection.


Photo by No Revisions


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