Expectations…if I take care of my house and allow others to take care of theirs, then I feel as though I have used expectations wisely. Overtime, I have learned that my satisfaction in life is not dependent on what others do or
say, rather with what I do with what others do or say. I do not want people in my life to feel obligated to me in any way. If they are in my life, I want them to want to be there, otherwise I bless them and send them on their way. We are humans who will disappoint and be disappointed in large and small ways. It is what I do with the disappointment that matters. Detachment from outcomes has been a huge lesson and practice for me. More and more, I feel at this point in my life, I do not want to be wagged by the tail. 🩷
What a wise reflection,
dear Mary . . .
it’s simple and to the point-
no apologies,
nothing personal.
It sounds like you’ve been working on this
for a long time.
Thank you . . . ♥
Expectations have been the source of a lot of pain for me, especially in my marriage.
I have to detach from many of the expectations I have of my husband.
In some areas I have done this and it has helped my marriage.
This question is a good reminder for me.
Checking expectations at the door,
dear Mary,
especially in a marriage or intimate relationship
Is perhaps one of the most difficult challenges you can face.
I have worked on this too,
in my own marriage,
and the difference it has made
has been dramatic . . .
do you find
that your husband has also become less expectant? ♥
As I’ve gotten older
I’ve grown to expect less than I did in the past.
Life
(and Death)
knocked me off my feet
fairly early on,
and I spent years trying to get up.
Growing up
I didn’t expect fame or fortune,
but I did expect
that I would live a comfortable,
middle class life.
When I left home
on terrible terms with my parents,
I discovered
that this was not going to happen,
but I wasn’t afraid.
I was quite happy with less.
Living in a 9 x 12 fish house on the coast of Maine
was idyllic
and I had very few cares . . .
I felt like I was living the dream.
After the great Knock Down
things changed,
as I said before,
and life became a struggle.
Things happened that I never expected.
I never expected to live in a car,
be addicted to drugs,
or beaten by a man.
I never expected to commit crimes,
disgrace myself,
or spend a night in jail.
Soon,
I didn’t even expect to live.
Then,
somehow,
I dragged my sorry ass out of the gutter
and pulled myself up,
piece by piece.
Those years
taught me many things,
and although it took so long,
I learned well.
Now,
many years later,
I keep my expectations low,
and as Joseph said,
receive much more than I expect.
Any dreams I had
are gone now,
but I am more than content with my life,
and realize the difference between dreams and reality.
This ‘reality’
might only be a dream as well.
I have love in my life,
and Nature,
ways to be creative,
and room in my head to still learn and grow.
I thank people like you
for helping me heal. ♥
Sparrow, thank you for this generous share.
You’ve lived through so much and come through it
with wisdom, goodness and kindness.
I am grateful that I get to learn from you.
It’s not as hard as it used to be,
dear Linda . . .
it’s a little further back in the rearview mirror
now.
I don’t know that I am wise,
but I am wiser now
than I was before.
Thank you . . . ♥
I might approach life with fewer expectations by just living for the moment and accept all spectrums of life’s expectations outcomes and realize that whatever happens there is a lesson. Life is full of lessons and be grateful.
This is a hard one for me. I have been disappointed so many times in my life because I have had expectations of others. Lots of hurt & sadness. I am trying so very hard to not have any expectations of or from others. This is a difficult lesson for me.
I can only have expectations of myself. I am learning that those expectations I have of myself have got to be realistic. I am a work in progress.
Happy Full Moon.🌕
Look up tonight.✨✨✨🩷
Expectations have been the source of a lot of pain for me too PKR.
I agree this is a hard one.
I think it takes detachment to reduce my expectations.
Detaching from what I want from others.
This question is a good reminder for me.
I have pretty simple expectations of life these days. Like I expect to feel better with my new workout routine, diet monitoring, and supplements. If I do the work, it’ll happen. I think those kind of expectations are okay because they are positive and tend to being a healthy human. I also expect to continue learning and growing spiritually with my practices, and I think those are okay expectations as well. Life is less stressful with lower and/or more simple expectations, something I had to learn the hard way… which is really how I’ve learned the majority of my life lessons!
My Ngoc, god sure gives a lot without agenda. This is why it’s important to minimize our needs and hang on to what we have rather than going after what we want. We’ll never be happy with the ladder.
I’ve never expected much. Kind of a low expectation person. Probably not the best way to approach life. Maybe a bit cowardly. But here I am.
It’s most likely a way to protect myself against disappointment.
The upside is that I’m constantly surprised by my life. All of this is beyond my expectations. I never imagined or expected to be living this life.
I think that my husband,
dear Charlie,
has low expectations at this point in his life . . .
they were high when he was young,
very high,
but he has been disappointed so much
that I think he feels a bit beaten down.
I hope he comes to terms with it,
as you have done. ♥
For me this mostly brings up my work context. Over the years I’ve learned fairly successfully not to set myself up for disappointment by going in with too many expectations that things will go my way, whatever that represents. I approach people with a respectful, open, and welcoming attitude in hopes that we build something that’s more than what I alone would bring to whatever we’re working on so it becomes our way, not mine. I’d like to shift more toward genuine curiosity, which is open rather than guarded, with the very few people who have given me some reason to expect (there’s that word) that they may say one thing and do another.
I want to keep other expectations though! I expect that most people I encounter are good, kind, and reasonable, or can be if that’s the energy I bring. I expect that most of us in any given moment are doing the best we can, all things considered. I expect that no matter what the day brings the sun will go down tonight and come up again tomorrow and I can rely on getting through whatever comes then. I expect my sweetheart and I to love each other all our lives and have strong relationships with our children. I expect the unexpected and I’ll roll with it when it comes along.
I can become aware of what expectations feel like in my body. A little starfish-shaped contraction in my chest, a fixed image of an outcome, an attachment like a tentacle fixating my chest to the image. A pursing of the lips, a tightening of the throat. A sense of determination that the contents of this image must happen. But it doesn’t feel loose or free to be attached like that. I would like to become familiar with the sensation pattern, say “oh, here’s an expectation,” and let the whole thing swim away as I continue with my day.
I relate, Carol. I seem to end up asking myself that question after I have been disappointed by an expectation. I like the idea of not clinging to expectations in the first place. It’ll probably happen anyway, but there must be a looser approach than expectation – disappointment (or fulfillment) – what did I learn?
Perhaps by practicing more mindfulness that I do have all I need, and trusting more that I am right where I am supposed to be. Infinite God has my back 😉
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Expectations…if I take care of my house and allow others to take care of theirs, then I feel as though I have used expectations wisely. Overtime, I have learned that my satisfaction in life is not dependent on what others do or
say, rather with what I do with what others do or say. I do not want people in my life to feel obligated to me in any way. If they are in my life, I want them to want to be there, otherwise I bless them and send them on their way. We are humans who will disappoint and be disappointed in large and small ways. It is what I do with the disappointment that matters. Detachment from outcomes has been a huge lesson and practice for me. More and more, I feel at this point in my life, I do not want to be wagged by the tail. 🩷
What a wise reflection,
dear Mary . . .
it’s simple and to the point-
no apologies,
nothing personal.
It sounds like you’ve been working on this
for a long time.
Thank you . . . ♥
You are welcome, Sparrow. 🩷
“I do not want to be wagged by the tail.” Perfect.
Let go of would be good, i guess. May be it is possible. May you all have a relaxing Sunday.
Expectations have been the source of a lot of pain for me, especially in my marriage.
I have to detach from many of the expectations I have of my husband.
In some areas I have done this and it has helped my marriage.
This question is a good reminder for me.
Checking expectations at the door,
dear Mary,
especially in a marriage or intimate relationship
Is perhaps one of the most difficult challenges you can face.
I have worked on this too,
in my own marriage,
and the difference it has made
has been dramatic . . .
do you find
that your husband has also become less expectant? ♥
I just have simple expectations for myself and hopes and prayers for others. Expectations of others may bring disappointment so I try not to.
As I’ve gotten older
I’ve grown to expect less than I did in the past.
Life
(and Death)
knocked me off my feet
fairly early on,
and I spent years trying to get up.
Growing up
I didn’t expect fame or fortune,
but I did expect
that I would live a comfortable,
middle class life.
When I left home
on terrible terms with my parents,
I discovered
that this was not going to happen,
but I wasn’t afraid.
I was quite happy with less.
Living in a 9 x 12 fish house on the coast of Maine
was idyllic
and I had very few cares . . .
I felt like I was living the dream.
After the great Knock Down
things changed,
as I said before,
and life became a struggle.
Things happened that I never expected.
I never expected to live in a car,
be addicted to drugs,
or beaten by a man.
I never expected to commit crimes,
disgrace myself,
or spend a night in jail.
Soon,
I didn’t even expect to live.
Then,
somehow,
I dragged my sorry ass out of the gutter
and pulled myself up,
piece by piece.
Those years
taught me many things,
and although it took so long,
I learned well.
Now,
many years later,
I keep my expectations low,
and as Joseph said,
receive much more than I expect.
Any dreams I had
are gone now,
but I am more than content with my life,
and realize the difference between dreams and reality.
This ‘reality’
might only be a dream as well.
I have love in my life,
and Nature,
ways to be creative,
and room in my head to still learn and grow.
I thank people like you
for helping me heal. ♥
Thank you, Sparrow.
The Divine in me
bows to the Divine in you,
dear Sunnypatti . . . ♥
Sparrow, thank you for this generous share.
You’ve lived through so much and come through it
with wisdom, goodness and kindness.
I am grateful that I get to learn from you.
Thank you,
dear Mary . . .
I learn from you too.
We are all in this together . . . ♥
Thank you Sparrow, for sharing your story. I know from my own journey, healing happens and continues to happen, by sharing with others. 🤗🌷
I have learned this,
and am still learning,
dear Carla . . .
thank you for being here. ♥
We walk together shoulder to shoulder, tho our paths may diverge, we’re still interconnected.
Peace to you this day 🌷
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Sparrow. You are a wise woman.
It’s not as hard as it used to be,
dear Linda . . .
it’s a little further back in the rearview mirror
now.
I don’t know that I am wise,
but I am wiser now
than I was before.
Thank you . . . ♥
🌱❤️ I relate dear Sparrow. ❤️🌱Namaste
I suspected you would,
dear Joseph . . .
Namaste ♥
I might approach life with fewer expectations by just living for the moment and accept all spectrums of life’s expectations outcomes and realize that whatever happens there is a lesson. Life is full of lessons and be grateful.
This is a hard one for me. I have been disappointed so many times in my life because I have had expectations of others. Lots of hurt & sadness. I am trying so very hard to not have any expectations of or from others. This is a difficult lesson for me.
I can only have expectations of myself. I am learning that those expectations I have of myself have got to be realistic. I am a work in progress.
Happy Full Moon.🌕
Look up tonight.✨✨✨🩷
Dear PKR
I accidentally addressed you by the wrong name in my post below.
I am so sorry and have corrected this. ♥️ Mary
Expectations have been the source of a lot of pain for me too PKR.
I agree this is a hard one.
I think it takes detachment to reduce my expectations.
Detaching from what I want from others.
This question is a good reminder for me.
I have pretty simple expectations of life these days. Like I expect to feel better with my new workout routine, diet monitoring, and supplements. If I do the work, it’ll happen. I think those kind of expectations are okay because they are positive and tend to being a healthy human. I also expect to continue learning and growing spiritually with my practices, and I think those are okay expectations as well. Life is less stressful with lower and/or more simple expectations, something I had to learn the hard way… which is really how I’ve learned the majority of my life lessons!
I’m grateful for the blessings I receive rather than what I want. May everyone have a wonderful weekend filled with joy.
You are in a good place,
dear Ngoc . . . ♥
My Ngoc, god sure gives a lot without agenda. This is why it’s important to minimize our needs and hang on to what we have rather than going after what we want. We’ll never be happy with the ladder.
And the same to you, Ngoc!
I’ve never expected much. Kind of a low expectation person. Probably not the best way to approach life. Maybe a bit cowardly. But here I am.
It’s most likely a way to protect myself against disappointment.
The upside is that I’m constantly surprised by my life. All of this is beyond my expectations. I never imagined or expected to be living this life.
I think that my husband,
dear Charlie,
has low expectations at this point in his life . . .
they were high when he was young,
very high,
but he has been disappointed so much
that I think he feels a bit beaten down.
I hope he comes to terms with it,
as you have done. ♥
I love when life surprises us! I, too, never imagined or expected the life I am living now. I’m very grateful for it!
Charlie, I don’t think that’s cowardly at all. America’s value of productivity has us thinking that way, but in reality, that’s actually smart.
For me this mostly brings up my work context. Over the years I’ve learned fairly successfully not to set myself up for disappointment by going in with too many expectations that things will go my way, whatever that represents. I approach people with a respectful, open, and welcoming attitude in hopes that we build something that’s more than what I alone would bring to whatever we’re working on so it becomes our way, not mine. I’d like to shift more toward genuine curiosity, which is open rather than guarded, with the very few people who have given me some reason to expect (there’s that word) that they may say one thing and do another.
I want to keep other expectations though! I expect that most people I encounter are good, kind, and reasonable, or can be if that’s the energy I bring. I expect that most of us in any given moment are doing the best we can, all things considered. I expect that no matter what the day brings the sun will go down tonight and come up again tomorrow and I can rely on getting through whatever comes then. I expect my sweetheart and I to love each other all our lives and have strong relationships with our children. I expect the unexpected and I’ll roll with it when it comes along.
“I expect the unexpected and I’ll roll with it when it comes along.”
What a beautiful attitude,
dear Barb. ♥
That’s perfect, Barb. 🙏
Thank you Charlie!
I can become aware of what expectations feel like in my body. A little starfish-shaped contraction in my chest, a fixed image of an outcome, an attachment like a tentacle fixating my chest to the image. A pursing of the lips, a tightening of the throat. A sense of determination that the contents of this image must happen. But it doesn’t feel loose or free to be attached like that. I would like to become familiar with the sensation pattern, say “oh, here’s an expectation,” and let the whole thing swim away as I continue with my day.
Wow! So good.
I prefer to focus more on realization instead of expectation. I want my question in all situations to be “What can I learn from this?”
I relate, Carol. I seem to end up asking myself that question after I have been disappointed by an expectation. I like the idea of not clinging to expectations in the first place. It’ll probably happen anyway, but there must be a looser approach than expectation – disappointment (or fulfillment) – what did I learn?
Perhaps by practicing more mindfulness that I do have all I need, and trusting more that I am right where I am supposed to be. Infinite God has my back 😉
I agree, Carla. God always has our backs even if there are times where we may feel that isn’t the case.
I can focus on what I already have in my life rather than what I don’t.