Curiosity, along with a sense of adventure, has led me to have a very interesting life. Some of the biggies: a trip to the Holy Land on the millennium with the North American Diocese of the Armenian Apostolic Church and singing with their choir, including singing the mass at the Church of the Nativity on the Armenian Christmas Eve. (I don’t speak the language, but everything was transliterated); accepting a scholarship to the University of Havana right out of college; going to five countries in the Soviet Union with my professional association (American Society for Public Administration) when the cold war first started to thaw; taking advantage of a friend’s free airline privileges to take a spur of the moment trip to Boston as a very young woman and discovering Cape Cod for the first time. Smaller but no less important are my willingness to try new things: food, experiences, people, whatever.
I credit my parents with passing this on, although they were in many (most) ways quite dysfunctional.
My husband just reminded me of another big one (I can’t believe this didn’t come to mind). I said “yes” to his marriage proposal at (my) age 43. I was terrified of marriage, but that was the only option he offered apart from breaking up, and I loved him so I said “yes.” We married 3 years later and it’s 43 years now. It’s been great, although I will always need more space than he does. (He resoundingly rejected the idea of separate living quarters.)
Thank you, Carol. It has all come from saying “yes.” Fear is no reason for not doing. As Werner Erhard used to say, “just take it along in your backpack.”
Curiosity is a pillar of my core values. following my curiosity has always led to a blessing or positive outcome. In my work as a massage therapist, being curious is what my practice has been built on. It’s the deep dive into flow States exploring the world but with an open mindset. It’s asking what, if and how. When I was learning about neuromuscular massage and trigger point therapy, it was my curiosity about what was happening in someone’s body that made them feel pain or pleasure. And when I was curious about what the body felt like and how it could change, I began to explore the textures of life—a whole new world of experience. I could feel flow, direction, and temperature, and as I allowed my curiosity to expand my perceptive abilities, my awareness was only validated and improved through study.
But curiosity doesn’t just stop at interests. It helps in relations, too. It builds rapport in business, it deepens love with family, and it creates empathy for those we know nothing about. It allows that spark of current that connects us all to flow through us and strengthens our bonds, in essence bringing us closer to God and know his loving presence in our lives.
I feel curiosity is a key part to my pursuit of mastery. In my craft, it is that curiosity that encourages exploring that little something to a new level – stepping into unfamiliar territory.
I have been struggling with curiosity for awhile now because of daily anxiety that borders on panic some days. This started earlier this year. I have been working with a therapist and also on changing up my medications. That seemed to work for awhile and I was becoming more “curious” but then around late October/early November, the anxiety and depression kicked back in. In short, since about 2019 when I took a job teaching 8th grade math I have been under constant stress with it culminating with me leaving that position mid-year of last year because of a true narcissist who started as director after we got through a year of teaching online/hybrid because of the pandemic. If I’m honest, the low-grade stress started back in 2016 when our country elected someone with narcissistic tendencies if not a full-out narcissism. I don’t say this to start any political conversation, but I share it to realize that having been raised by a mother who at least has borderline tendencies and at most has borderline personality disorder, the emotional memories that came up for me as I watched in horror (for me) at this person being elected to the highest office wore me down even before I took the job in 2019.
Now here I find myself wondering why I’m not “healed” already – as I told me therapist recently, “heck, it’s been a year since I left that position; things should be better”. She smiled and chuckled and kindly said, healing from trauma doesn’t have a deadline. I’m slowly trying to incorporate those things that I know are healthy and that gratitude is one of those things.
As I move into this new year, I hope to be a bit more consistent at getting here and responding.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings on this topic.
I too am not cured/healed, Amy. I have had similar conversations with my therapist, and it’s been about 21 months since I started. Things are better though. Much better.
I have to say this question doesn’t spark much for me. The more I learn, the more I learn, and I don’t feel any barriers to following my curiosity. My “comfort zone” continues to expand as I grow older in terms of how I think about or interact with other human beings. Some of the things I’ve read about entering into more challenging interactions counsel that one should stay curious in order to be open to the other person and to stop yourself from reacting without thought. I don’t often think of this as curiosity in the moment; I do try to stay open to learning/unlearning/relearning and that makes difficult conversations a bit easier, but I haven’t left any comfort zone to do so.
Actually it happened yesterday. I have been receiving invitations to an Interfaith dialog discussion luncheon. This time it was convenient in both location and time. That was the comfort zone. The risk part was, I probability know noone and what if I don’t represent my faith well. It was a delightful experience with honest open sharing.
I can relate with today’s quote ( “What you seek is seeking you.” Rumi ) as well as today’s question(When have I benefited from following my curiosity beyond my comfort zone?) They fit like a pair of gloves! We seek until we can see.
My answer: When extreme anxiety rules, daily life can be a challenge. You desperately seek a comfort zone and so you do your best to squelch your curiosity. If you don’t commit, you can’t fail. You are wearing blinders and don’t even know it. You make decisions out of fear and they complicate your life.You fail to live your questions or you ask yourself the wrong questions and wonder why the answers you get don’t make things better. If you are lucky, something or someone enters your life and helps you look at your vulnerability in a different way. You start to understand that even if you are shaking in your boots, it’s better than missing the show! You start to grow in self-awareness and you become a participant observer. Your anxiety does not go away but now you watch it but do not become it. You start to understand as Helen Keller so succinctly said, “Life is an adventure or it is nothing at all.” You stop fighting life and let it be. And that is as close to comfort as it gets for me!
Carol, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I myself have had anxiety ruling my life as of late and daily life HAS become a challenge. I really like how you said, “your anxiety does not go away but now you watch it but do not become it.” I want to live into this. Thanks for your honesty in sharing this.
The quote from Rumi helped me gain perspective. I was having difficulty with the words “benefited, ” “curiosity” and “comfort zone.” Anxiety can make life down right uncomfortable! It can kill curiosity and void benefit.
Looking back, I have gratitude for every
experience I’ve had. Good, bad, or otherwise.
When I was compelled to stop resisting and
embrace willingness to change, and go
towards things that made me uncomfortable,
I feel like my life opened up. My curiosity
about the human condition, is teaching me
and reminding me of so many things.
Okay, I know I’m responding to my own
post, but after reading all of your replies,
I am filled with such incredible admiration
and inspiration by this amazing group of
curious souls.
Thank you all for being here and thank you
Grateful Living for providing this resource.
🙏
There are some times in the past that being out of my comfort zone happened. It happened quite often actually, and it made me do what I’m doing today. I’m not sure that I look like any huge hero and no metals are being given, so it’s difficult to put into words. Giving up or letting go of myself is what is putting me out of my comfort zone .
We all have different ways we are put out of our comfort zone are we not ? Facing my fear puts me out of my comfort zone and I’m not being pushed by curiosity. Letting go is sometimes difficult and maybe that’s because I have a lot of attachment to this self and this whole storyline . Each day there is more reflection of more to let go of and sometimes I feel I want to give up.
This place feels like a place we can let out what we are feeling and not worry about having to brag or show off about how much we have or haven’t accomplished.
Letting go of pride and judgments is helping me to open up even more .
Thanks for being here you guys !
Thanks for sharing this. Your line about letting go or pride and judgments resonates with me. I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression this past year and it’s hard to even say that for fear of being looked at as less-than even though my logical brain knows otherwise.
Lying on the beach as a college student watching the boys surf, I decided I wanted to get out in the water and have fun, too. So I asked a friend if I could try his board. Thirty years later, I am still surfing, even if not as much as I’d really like to.
April 2017 – I had recently left my ex-husband and put myself on a plane to Costa Rica. All by myself. I had always wanted to surf Pavones, so this was a celebration gift to myself. While I flew alone, I did meet up with friends who lived down south and had some of the best 10 days of my life at that time. The waves were the best ever. The people were all so kind. I felt so strong and so free, and I came back to the states with so much gratitude and the intention to have a better life. So far, so good!
lol. I’m extremely curious most of the time. It’s allowed me travel, friendships, spiritual experiences, and adventures galore. But, I can swing the pendulum a little too far. I’ve been reigning in my instability to work on contentment—not complacency. A little like Dorothy, there’s no place like home (which is inside me).
Many years ago now; I became a nurse as I wanted to help the soilders in Viet Nam…Thankfully, the war ended and I did not join the Armed Forces as a nurse. I worked as a hospital nurse for years and years…then I was watching the news one evening and a story about the famine in Somalia came on. I wanted to help…and I had been a pediatric nurse- but at that time I was an Operating Room nurse…both skills were needed. I was curious and afraid of life in a war torn country…and starvation abounded. I took the leap and was a nurse in Baidoa, Somalia for 10 months. That curiosity changed my life…coming home I returned to hospital nursing in a new State…and eventually returned to school (at the age of 43 or so, I went back to school to further my nursing education. I obtained a PhD at age 52!…Curiosity was a Blessing.
Saying “yes” to a novel opportunity without assurances is something I would like to become second nature in my life. To be discerning, yes, but to trust life and trust myself. I have come a long way, and I want to go further. Benefits always show themselves, even if initially I may wonder about the truth in that. At times, the benefits become apparent to me in reflection, the learning .
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I did zip lining a few years ago with my sister. Definitely challenged my comfort zone but in the end we both had fun and we were
both challenged.
Curiosity, along with a sense of adventure, has led me to have a very interesting life. Some of the biggies: a trip to the Holy Land on the millennium with the North American Diocese of the Armenian Apostolic Church and singing with their choir, including singing the mass at the Church of the Nativity on the Armenian Christmas Eve. (I don’t speak the language, but everything was transliterated); accepting a scholarship to the University of Havana right out of college; going to five countries in the Soviet Union with my professional association (American Society for Public Administration) when the cold war first started to thaw; taking advantage of a friend’s free airline privileges to take a spur of the moment trip to Boston as a very young woman and discovering Cape Cod for the first time. Smaller but no less important are my willingness to try new things: food, experiences, people, whatever.
I credit my parents with passing this on, although they were in many (most) ways quite dysfunctional.
My husband just reminded me of another big one (I can’t believe this didn’t come to mind). I said “yes” to his marriage proposal at (my) age 43. I was terrified of marriage, but that was the only option he offered apart from breaking up, and I loved him so I said “yes.” We married 3 years later and it’s 43 years now. It’s been great, although I will always need more space than he does. (He resoundingly rejected the idea of separate living quarters.)
What an interesting life you lead, Dolores!
Thank you, Carol. It has all come from saying “yes.” Fear is no reason for not doing. As Werner Erhard used to say, “just take it along in your backpack.”
Curiosity is a pillar of my core values. following my curiosity has always led to a blessing or positive outcome. In my work as a massage therapist, being curious is what my practice has been built on. It’s the deep dive into flow States exploring the world but with an open mindset. It’s asking what, if and how. When I was learning about neuromuscular massage and trigger point therapy, it was my curiosity about what was happening in someone’s body that made them feel pain or pleasure. And when I was curious about what the body felt like and how it could change, I began to explore the textures of life—a whole new world of experience. I could feel flow, direction, and temperature, and as I allowed my curiosity to expand my perceptive abilities, my awareness was only validated and improved through study.
But curiosity doesn’t just stop at interests. It helps in relations, too. It builds rapport in business, it deepens love with family, and it creates empathy for those we know nothing about. It allows that spark of current that connects us all to flow through us and strengthens our bonds, in essence bringing us closer to God and know his loving presence in our lives.
Thank you for sharing and the work that you do for others.
I feel curiosity is a key part to my pursuit of mastery. In my craft, it is that curiosity that encourages exploring that little something to a new level – stepping into unfamiliar territory.
I have been struggling with curiosity for awhile now because of daily anxiety that borders on panic some days. This started earlier this year. I have been working with a therapist and also on changing up my medications. That seemed to work for awhile and I was becoming more “curious” but then around late October/early November, the anxiety and depression kicked back in. In short, since about 2019 when I took a job teaching 8th grade math I have been under constant stress with it culminating with me leaving that position mid-year of last year because of a true narcissist who started as director after we got through a year of teaching online/hybrid because of the pandemic. If I’m honest, the low-grade stress started back in 2016 when our country elected someone with narcissistic tendencies if not a full-out narcissism. I don’t say this to start any political conversation, but I share it to realize that having been raised by a mother who at least has borderline tendencies and at most has borderline personality disorder, the emotional memories that came up for me as I watched in horror (for me) at this person being elected to the highest office wore me down even before I took the job in 2019.
Now here I find myself wondering why I’m not “healed” already – as I told me therapist recently, “heck, it’s been a year since I left that position; things should be better”. She smiled and chuckled and kindly said, healing from trauma doesn’t have a deadline. I’m slowly trying to incorporate those things that I know are healthy and that gratitude is one of those things.
As I move into this new year, I hope to be a bit more consistent at getting here and responding.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings on this topic.
I believe most of us are in a healing process of some sort. Be gentle with yourself and keep doing the work!
Welcome back Amy – I love your profile pic, makes me smile as soon as I see it:)
I too am not cured/healed, Amy. I have had similar conversations with my therapist, and it’s been about 21 months since I started. Things are better though. Much better.
I better sit this one out lol 😂
I have to say this question doesn’t spark much for me. The more I learn, the more I learn, and I don’t feel any barriers to following my curiosity. My “comfort zone” continues to expand as I grow older in terms of how I think about or interact with other human beings. Some of the things I’ve read about entering into more challenging interactions counsel that one should stay curious in order to be open to the other person and to stop yourself from reacting without thought. I don’t often think of this as curiosity in the moment; I do try to stay open to learning/unlearning/relearning and that makes difficult conversations a bit easier, but I haven’t left any comfort zone to do so.
Actually it happened yesterday. I have been receiving invitations to an Interfaith dialog discussion luncheon. This time it was convenient in both location and time. That was the comfort zone. The risk part was, I probability know noone and what if I don’t represent my faith well. It was a delightful experience with honest open sharing.
I can relate with today’s quote ( “What you seek is seeking you.” Rumi ) as well as today’s question(When have I benefited from following my curiosity beyond my comfort zone?) They fit like a pair of gloves! We seek until we can see.
My answer: When extreme anxiety rules, daily life can be a challenge. You desperately seek a comfort zone and so you do your best to squelch your curiosity. If you don’t commit, you can’t fail. You are wearing blinders and don’t even know it. You make decisions out of fear and they complicate your life.You fail to live your questions or you ask yourself the wrong questions and wonder why the answers you get don’t make things better. If you are lucky, something or someone enters your life and helps you look at your vulnerability in a different way. You start to understand that even if you are shaking in your boots, it’s better than missing the show! You start to grow in self-awareness and you become a participant observer. Your anxiety does not go away but now you watch it but do not become it. You start to understand as Helen Keller so succinctly said, “Life is an adventure or it is nothing at all.” You stop fighting life and let it be. And that is as close to comfort as it gets for me!
Carol, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I myself have had anxiety ruling my life as of late and daily life HAS become a challenge. I really like how you said, “your anxiety does not go away but now you watch it but do not become it.” I want to live into this. Thanks for your honesty in sharing this.
Hi Amy, Are you familiar with Sheldon Kopp’s Eschatological Laundry List?
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It helps me recognize more value in the question than I got from it on first reading.
The quote from Rumi helped me gain perspective. I was having difficulty with the words “benefited, ” “curiosity” and “comfort zone.” Anxiety can make life down right uncomfortable! It can kill curiosity and void benefit.
Your words touched me as being true for me. Thank you!
Looking back, I have gratitude for every
experience I’ve had. Good, bad, or otherwise.
When I was compelled to stop resisting and
embrace willingness to change, and go
towards things that made me uncomfortable,
I feel like my life opened up. My curiosity
about the human condition, is teaching me
and reminding me of so many things.
Okay, I know I’m responding to my own
post, but after reading all of your replies,
I am filled with such incredible admiration
and inspiration by this amazing group of
curious souls.
Thank you all for being here and thank you
Grateful Living for providing this resource.
🙏
There are some times in the past that being out of my comfort zone happened. It happened quite often actually, and it made me do what I’m doing today. I’m not sure that I look like any huge hero and no metals are being given, so it’s difficult to put into words. Giving up or letting go of myself is what is putting me out of my comfort zone .
We all have different ways we are put out of our comfort zone are we not ? Facing my fear puts me out of my comfort zone and I’m not being pushed by curiosity. Letting go is sometimes difficult and maybe that’s because I have a lot of attachment to this self and this whole storyline . Each day there is more reflection of more to let go of and sometimes I feel I want to give up.
This place feels like a place we can let out what we are feeling and not worry about having to brag or show off about how much we have or haven’t accomplished.
Letting go of pride and judgments is helping me to open up even more .
Thanks for being here you guys !
Antoinette,
Thanks for sharing this. Your line about letting go or pride and judgments resonates with me. I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression this past year and it’s hard to even say that for fear of being looked at as less-than even though my logical brain knows otherwise.
Lying on the beach as a college student watching the boys surf, I decided I wanted to get out in the water and have fun, too. So I asked a friend if I could try his board. Thirty years later, I am still surfing, even if not as much as I’d really like to.
April 2017 – I had recently left my ex-husband and put myself on a plane to Costa Rica. All by myself. I had always wanted to surf Pavones, so this was a celebration gift to myself. While I flew alone, I did meet up with friends who lived down south and had some of the best 10 days of my life at that time. The waves were the best ever. The people were all so kind. I felt so strong and so free, and I came back to the states with so much gratitude and the intention to have a better life. So far, so good!
Have you ever surfed in Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca, Mexico SunnyPatti?
I have not been to Mexico… yet!
lol. I’m extremely curious most of the time. It’s allowed me travel, friendships, spiritual experiences, and adventures galore. But, I can swing the pendulum a little too far. I’ve been reigning in my instability to work on contentment—not complacency. A little like Dorothy, there’s no place like home (which is inside me).
Many years ago now; I became a nurse as I wanted to help the soilders in Viet Nam…Thankfully, the war ended and I did not join the Armed Forces as a nurse. I worked as a hospital nurse for years and years…then I was watching the news one evening and a story about the famine in Somalia came on. I wanted to help…and I had been a pediatric nurse- but at that time I was an Operating Room nurse…both skills were needed. I was curious and afraid of life in a war torn country…and starvation abounded. I took the leap and was a nurse in Baidoa, Somalia for 10 months. That curiosity changed my life…coming home I returned to hospital nursing in a new State…and eventually returned to school (at the age of 43 or so, I went back to school to further my nursing education. I obtained a PhD at age 52!…Curiosity was a Blessing.
You are truly a gift to the ill, Nannette. Thank you for your compassionate caring.
Wow, Nannette! What a wonderful life of service and what a journey.
Great story! I was thinking about all the folks that benefited by your risk. Thank you!
What a powerful, inspiring story Nannette!! Thanks for sharing it with all of us.
Thank you, Josie! This site and all of you who come here every day are such a Blessing. Thank you so much for your comment…my heart is singing!
Saying “yes” to a novel opportunity without assurances is something I would like to become second nature in my life. To be discerning, yes, but to trust life and trust myself. I have come a long way, and I want to go further. Benefits always show themselves, even if initially I may wonder about the truth in that. At times, the benefits become apparent to me in reflection, the learning .
I encourage you. The best things in my life have happened because I said “yes” to something that could seem scary.