Reflections

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  1. Linda

    There are some very toxic people in the world, and opening one’s heart to them can lead to disaster. Discernment is the key. You can and should detach and protect yourself from further harm

    4 months ago
  2. Rabbit

    This question reminded of a friend who said to his friend once, “I don’t like your politics but I like you.” We can be can be in contact with and spend time with people we like even if we don’t hold all the same opinions and beliefs.

    4 months ago
  3. Mica

    My next door neighbor who shared with me the belief that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure – that’s what stands out for me. We interact happily now 🙂

    4 months ago
  4. Cathie

    I will have to think about this as I believe my heart is open to all. That being said there are folks with whom I don a bit of “Kevlar” as without their knowing they toss out words without thinking that can be a bit hurtful:)

    4 months ago
  5. Don Jones

    Sometimes, the best place for the past, is in the past. The key issue is acceptance of what was, as it was, and return to an openness of the here and now.

    4 months ago
  6. Fumane

    As I do some inner work on myself, I find myself stuck in defining my relationship with my dad, who has been dead for 18 years. I hope in time I can open my heart to him as my parent who probably loved me in his own way.

    4 months ago
    1. Mica

      And, Fumane, you can open your heart to yourself! I’m guessing that might wash away at least some of your problems with your dad. I wanted to have no lingering resentments of my mother after she died, and ‘holy spirits’ in the form of my daughter and her husband brought that into being by taking me to visit my mother on the day she died! She was acting like a hungry baby in her 98th year – how could I resent her, in that state?! Your dad was probably an unhappy child at some time/s in his life – that perspective might open your heart toward him at least a little 🙂 ??

      4 months ago
  7. Charlie T

    There are people that I have shut out of my life and I think it was for the better. These were not reciprocal relationships and I was not being honest with them in the first place, about how I felt about them. Now family is on another level. I do feel bad for shutting out a family member, but when I consider reconnecting, I only see more conflict, hurt feelings, and confrontation.
    It does bother me, that I have to keep justifying this decision in my head. Reminding myself, why things are the way they are. The responses here are, once again, amazing. I found them to be very helpful with this issue that I am struggling with. Thank you all for the honesty and wisdom. 🙏

    4 months ago
    1. Mica

      And you can open your heart to yourself, Charlie, and give yourself hugs ? 🙂

      4 months ago
  8. Pilgrim

    Good morning, Diane, on this Prayer Tuesday. I am moving slowly today. I hope that you are well, my friend!

    4 months ago
    1. Diane

      Good morning Pilgrim ….see my reply to your post below. I will add that I am moving slowly today as well. Practicing acceptance of what is and gratitude for all my blessings…you included my friend. ♥

      4 months ago
  9. Diane

    Good morning….so moved by the wise and thoughtful responses shared. All so beautifully expressed and all I can add is something that occurred to me while meditating on this question. Richard Rohr teaches of non-dualistic thinking, which has helped me in so many areas of my life. In relation to this question…I wonder if remembering that the person who wounded me has another side to them that is good and kind would help me to let go of any bitterness/unforgiveness that I may have towards that person.

    I have applied this to a family member who has really hurt me on more than one occasion by her toxic words and actions towards me. We will never be besties, and I have limited my interactions with her to protect myself, But my heart has been pried open with time and distance realizing that she has a husband and children that love her and she herself has been wounded. Doesn’t excuse her hurtful behavior but it helps me. I’m not sure that ‘letting them know’ would serve either of us ….honestly I was intimidated by that addition to the question!
    Om Shanti friends ♥

    4 months ago
    1. Mica

      Hugs to you, {{{{Diane}}}} ! 🙂

      4 months ago
    2. A
      Ana Maria

      How I love your comment. I needed this today more than ever. I thank you!

      4 months ago
    3. A
      Ana Maria

      Thank you Charlie T! I could have written your post my self. I too just had a major confrontation with a love one. It was brutal. My heart aches for the ending and yet a big part of me is relieved! The conflict, hurt feelings and the confrontations could not continue. I tried to be the connector to this sibling. We are six and I was the only one allowed in. It has been a heavy load to carry. Well, now it has ended. It does bother me too that I am trying to fix it, even though I don’t think I can. I will have us in my prayers as we move forward in this life. The new video posted today is wonderful and it gives me peace. I thank you for sharing.

      4 months ago
  10. Pilgrim

    This scenario hasn’t occurred in my life for a very long time. At my age, the “leaving behind” has happened as I moved through the years, and with the pandemic and moving across the state last year, the leaving has happened rather naturally. My heart remains with those I am unable to see now.
    I do notice that I am making a bit of an effort to listen to those on various sides of the political spectrum and at least think about what is said. Trying to get away from jumping to conclusions. It is the humanity and caring I pay attention to, whether or not I agree. It is an interesting path.

    4 months ago
    1. Diane

      Good morning Pilgrim…looks like we were here at the same time 🙂

      On this our shared Prayer Tuesday I am wishing you a day filled with all good things. To paraphrase you….my heart remains with you even though I cannot “see” you. I am ever grateful for the gift of that connection.
      ~Blessings ♥

      4 months ago
  11. Mary Pat

    Healthy boundaries are important. There are two people I have closed my heart to, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them as human beings, and honor the connectedness we have. Healthy boundaries….they are very important….maybe a better question would be, for me, do I still pray loving kindness to those people, even though we are estranged? And yes, I do.

    4 months ago
    1. Mica

      Indeed Mary Pat! Healthy Boundaries! Congrats for establishing them – it’s not easy to do. I’m aiming to be forceful yet kind in dealing with the problem person in my life and I am SO fortunate that she is not a major person in my life 🙂

      4 months ago
  12. Barb C

    Sure I can, but in doing so I learned (again) that having expectations or hopes for a specific outcome does not serve me well. The purpose of the opening would really be to set down whatever I’ve been carrying that created a weight. If the other person responds in kind, okay, but I can only deal with what’s in me, not what’s in them.

    I tried this with a close family member from whom I have been estranged for years. I wrote and mailed a card saying I hoped we could move past the silence that had grown between us. I got an email in return saying this would be hard, replied to that email that I hoped we could take baby steps, and have never received another word expressing an intention to rebuild.

    I let them know I was open. They didn’t really step in or through. Each instance of this would be different, of course, but this is a reminder not to have any expectations of change in another simply because I’ve changed.

    4 months ago
    1. Mica

      Oh, Barb, do give yourself big hugs for reaching out in these ways and for living with the outcome and setting down what you had been carrying!!

      4 months ago
      1. Barb C

        Thank you Mica!

        4 months ago
  13. Antoinette

    Right now I’m at the hospital, again. I think I need to open my heart to myself. I’m the absolute worst critic of myself- I judge and I hate myself. I believe I’m not worth love and that I don’t deserve it. The quote today is another person who had made an impact on me. I have read many of her books.
    I believe I better open my heart and let out all the pain and suffering I have been hiding. I’m scared to let it out, but it’s all making me sick. I’m starting a trauma group I’m September, and I hope that also helps. I think praying and practice each day are strips in healing. May we all be brave enough to open up to each emotion, situation, person we meet.
    Opening, allowing and letting go. Over and over again.

    4 months ago
    1. Mica

      Oh, dear Antoinette! Pema is a dear, isn’t she? “without closing down” are the words that stand out as I read the quote again. Please give yourself lots of hugs for me – the best I can do is this – {{{{Antoinette}}}}

      4 months ago
    2. pkr

      Dear Antoinette, sending you love & hugs. Blessings & prayers for you. ❤️🙏🏻❤️

      4 months ago
    3. A
      Ana Maria

      Blessings to you today and always. I also pray for your medical team, may they find the wisdom and knowledge to find what is hurting you in such a way. Love to you.

      4 months ago
    4. Diane

      Dear Antoinette…I am so sorry for the chronic pain you are living with. That you choose to visit here so vulnerably and courageously is an inspiration. Henri Nouwen coined a phrase that I have embraced in this life and I believe that you, and so many others here in this sacred community, are the embodiment of it. You are a “wounded healer” Antoinette…your words resonate deeply with me and help me to feel less alone in my own chronic illness and as a trauma survivor.
      Thank you for being here so authentically. My prayers are with you that you will be tended to at the hospital with wisdom and all gentleness. 🙏💜

      4 months ago
    5. GR8FULL

      A – When I feel like I don’t deserve something I remember my belief in a Higher Power – I call it GOD. And I am a child of God and if God is the most powerful force and I am it’s child then I deserve everything great the world sends in my direction. I know there are flaws in that logic but it works wonders for me. Besides, the second part of your message seems like you are already on your way to feeling better and understanding the path you need to take to heal. Good on ya mate! Thanks for sharing today.

      4 months ago
    6. Barb C

      I also hope the trauma group helps you. I hope for you that you can become your own best friend because you wouldn’t dump on your best friend this way, would you? You would gently encourage and say you know they’re doing their best and sometimes all you have is all you have and that will be enough.

      4 months ago
    7. Antoinette

      P.s – thank you all deeply for putting up with me and your amazing support.
      I’m grateful 🙏

      4 months ago
      1. Mica

        I WELCOME you, Antoinette – I don’t ‘put up with you’! Think of the gratitude you gift us all with – that we don’t suffer such ‘gawd-awful’ headaches ourselves. It’s such a dreadful form of pain – my back pains and knee pains and hip pains and foot pains are so much better – and more distant from ‘ME’ – than my headaches were 🙂

        4 months ago
  14. dragonfly

    Just like not eating poison protects the body from serious harm, closing the heart to “poisonous” people is a protective measure. Forgiveness is like sucking the venom out of a wound. It is cleansing. Opening the heart is a step that goes much further and lays us open to being extremely vulnerable. This vulnerability is not safe with everybody and some discernment is necessary, I think, before making the decision to be open hearted, especially with those who have repeatedly taken advantage of this vulnerability.

    4 months ago
    1. Mary Pat

      I completely agree.

      4 months ago
  15. Hjt

    I have felt it necessary to close my heart to family members who were very attracted to ultra right views.. it hurt. Now I am trying hard to listen and hope I can reconnect. It is taking a long time.

    4 months ago
    1. Mica

      What a burden, Hjt, to have family members with such views! Amusingly, my new cat has inspired me to start watching tv – he had lots of it at his last home – and this morning I loved watching Nick Cannon on Fox TV. I was sort of repelled by the idea of watching Fox TV [apologies to those who are bothered by my attitude!] but Nick Cannon was really fun, and I’m so nicely insulated from the ‘other side’ most of the time – I figure it’s good for me to get some exposure to what the ‘other side’ is saying, so I’ll keep watching Fox TV as long as I keep enough of my peace of mind while doing so. 🙂

      4 months ago
    2. Antoinette

      Good luck Hjt that is very brave of you . 🥰

      4 months ago
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