Reflections

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  1. O.Christina

    If I may reply, it might become a longer post. Hope you don´t mind. Thank you all very much for your helpful posts to this question. The challenge now is: which way to go? The main which I could not reply to was to open up to encounter others; able to do for others while unable to deeply be really there in heart. So many challenges and so many times left unanswered by me, while in the same time, desperately clinging to a perspective of being saved from the outside. How could this, seems to at least, recently change in me?? I was forced to completely feel the deep despair again, of being forsaken, left out, facing the feeling of being left out by the ones I hold dear. This drastic facing the pain now seems to start to loosen the grip on this unhelpful protective approach to almost all I encountered, almost surprisingly feeling a kind of natural closeness to others in various degrees now. Only some dear and close friends and loved ones were not deterred by this, for which I am deeply and forever grateful. I am deeply happy and deeply grateful to be able to say that the path of being together in friendship, in meditation, in service and with an open(ing) heart is what is the next step, right here where I am, right with the dear kindred hearts in the Sangha I belong to as well as with those living next door, and in the same time freeing myself and others from clinging all ways. A long way of struggle with fear, despair and longing for symbiosis seems to come to an end now. Deeply grateful for all incredible patience and for all the love and incredible support offered. Thank you dearly for this question, dear grateful team, and thank you dearly to my beloved friends, to the dear ones who had to endure the terrible state I was in and to all of you dear ones who share here.

    9 months ago
  2. Robin Ann

    Lately I am taking a lot of pauses and allowing my faith to help guide me. This site also is helping a great deal. Thank you all for sharing your stories and your wisdom.

    9 months ago
  3. Barb C

    Coming back to drop a link to a poem I re-encountered that made me think of this question. I appreciated it the first time I read it and was glad to come across it again. “Because Even the Word Obstacle Is an Obstacle” by Alison Luterman: https://janicefalls.wordpress.com/2023/02/

    9 months ago
    1. Robin Ann

      I love this, thanks for the laugh!

      9 months ago
  4. pkr

    Trust in a higher power & know that this too shall pass. Surrender to what is, embrace it & pray for guidance & answers.
    Sounds simple, sort of, but in reality it is challenging, at least it can be for me.
    I was very touched by all of the heart felt responses to today’s question. We all have our moments don’t we? ✨🙏🏻

    9 months ago
  5. Pilgrim

    Good morning to my friend, Diane. I hope that all is well with you and your family!
    In spite of the snow on the ground, I am seeing a lot of birds in the trees outside my door wall, including a pair of cardinals! I have also been visited by various colors of squirrels lately, and the occasional chipmunk. I am ready for Spring!
    Blessings to you and yours!

    9 months ago
    1. Diane

      Dear Pilgrim….I hope you circle back to see my very late response.

      It is currently almost 8:30 pm and I am writing from Tucson Arizona. The third stop on our road trip vacation. We are seeing some of God’s most magnificent creation along the way….mountains to desert landscapes and a special stop at the Painted Desert upon leaving Albuquerque NM. Wonderfully other-worldly,…we felt like we were visiting Mars!
      Tomorrow a visit to nearby Saguaro National Park is planned.
      When we return to Colorado…I know I will be more than ready for Spring!

      As always…it is a joy for me to meet you here my friend, especially after a long day of travel.
      Blessings 🙏

      9 months ago
      1. Pilgrim

        Dear Diane,
        I am happy to find your post here this morning. Your road trip sounds wonderful! I have never seen that part of the country. The area sounds quite beautiful.
        May today’s journey continue to fill your heart with joy!
        Namaste.

        9 months ago
  6. Pilgrim

    I don’t have a particular challenge at this moment, though one never knows what the day will bring. When I am trying to work something out, though, my high introvert person/brain would normally slow down, work out possibilities/options and see what I come up with. If available, I may consult one of my daughters or another wise person for thoughts/ideas. I would also look back to how I may have worked out a challenge in the past.

    9 months ago
  7. Barb C

    When I was a young, exhausted, short-on-sleep mom, somewhere I read the line, “Remember that in any given moment, you’re doing the best you can **at that moment**.” It helped to think of that. I wasn’t doing “perfect” or “stellar” or “exemplary” or “praiseworthy”, I was doing what I could. That’s the highest self I bring at any moment: The one I have available.

    9 months ago
  8. Carol

    My higher self reminds me that even when something feels very challenging, it’s just a situation so I do my best not to label it a problem. I know the strength I need flows in the present moment so I do my best to claim it. When I can corral my head/egoic mind into my heart, self compassion instead of self pity arises, This question reminds me of the importance of remembering that no matter what is going on, I can learn from it and grow if I am willing. “Be Still and Know that I Am Enough.”

    This question filled me with memories from my childhood. I wrote about those memories in a Morning Med I wrote in 2018. I share it below.

    Morning Meds Weekend May 19-20 2018 “About Face”
    “Not everything that can be faced can be changed,
    but nothing can be changed that is not faced.”
    James Baldwin

    Good Morning,

    As a cradle Catholic, I was told at the tender age of seven that I had reached the age of reason and I had to start going to confession and in those early childhood years, there was a lot of repetition in my list of offenses. I kept doing the same things over and over. I remember walking out of the confessional and saying the penance the priest required of me before leaving the church and returning to the confessional the next time and finding myself confessing the same things like fighting with my brother; talking back to my Mom; spitting out one of the bad words I had learned from my Dad. Confession, the sacrament of penance, was suppose to grant me God’s forgiveness and put me in a state of grace. Whew! The price of Dogma!

    But as I listened to a sermon many years later, I knew that the priest delivering the sermon wasn’t talking about the penance of my childhood, he was talking about something much different. He was talking about Mentanoia, a transformative change of heart. He was challenging me to face my life situation and myself or as we say in 12-step circles, to face and own my thoughts, my feelings and my actions. He was not necessarily talking about changing my life circumstances. He was urging me to admit what I needed to do to make a change in myself.

    I wrote a Morning Med a few years ago about the how of this. I titled it “F Words!” They are: Fight, Flight, Freeze or Feel.” One of the MM readers wrote back and said, “I’ve added another “F” word to the mix. She said, “…fight, flight, freeze or face so I can feel and heal.”

    Facing is the key. Denying is lying to oneself. I have to face my self, my situation, my problem, etc., before I can own my feelings and respond instead of react…I know today that I can claim the grace to face, embrace, feel and heal.

    The Serenity Prayer tells us to have the courage to face both what we can change and what we can’t change and to grow in the wisdom of knowing the difference. We can always change our mind and in my experience that is key because it often results in a change of heart.

    The poem below was introduced to me about 25 years ago…it still has meaning for me today.

    Blessings, Carol

    Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
    by Portia Nelson

    “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk”
    Chapter One
    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I fall in.
    I am lost . . . I am helpless.
    It isn’t my fault . . .
    It takes forever to find a
    way out.

    Chapter Two
    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend I don’t see it.
    I fall in again.
    I can’t believe I am in this same place.
    But it isn’t my fault.
    It still takes a long time to get out.

    Chapter Three
    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I see it there.
    I still fall . . . it’s a habit . . . but,
    My eyes are open.
    I know where I am.
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    Chapter Four
    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I walk around it.

    Chapter Five
    I walk down another street

    9 months ago
    1. Robin Ann

      A good friend of mine told this to me but a little different but it definitely stayed with me. Sometimes it is time to take
      a different path!

      9 months ago
    2. Nannette

      Carol, Thank you for your wisdom today and for sharing that poem….I am taking it to heart…and promise to take action starting today…facing what i know I need to do…By repeating the same behavior over and over…nothing will change. I do this often…saying that I am going to work on my addictive behavior and I do for a short while…and then I fall in that hold again…but hopefully today will be the first day of the rest of my life. Thank you for the gift of your words today.

      9 months ago
  9. J
    Jenifer

    My highest self is telling me to let go. Let go of destructive habits, of wanting to be “right”, of wanting things to go my way. Recognizing that I have played a part in my own suffering by not releasing my grip on my current situation. I am learning the importance of trust, trusting the universe and myself to pave the way while I gather courage and strength.

    9 months ago
  10. Yram

    My motto is to deal with the situation using the resources I have at the time and then accept the outcome knowing I did my best. This has worked for me in the past. I don’t see a reason to change it now.

    9 months ago
    1. Carol

      Yram, Love your answer. Makes me think of Toltec Wisdom teachings.

      9 months ago
  11. Nannette

    If I have a challenge I just try and do what needs to be done. I don’t have any other tools to work with…Anyway, I hope this is the way I would deal with a situation…but I also think it depends on the exact circumstance how I would go about it. Thank you to everyone here for your thoughts – it gives me something to think about always…and there is always something new to learn. Blessings.

    9 months ago
  12. V
    Voyager

    Sure I could answer but probably not going to respond effectively currently where I am in life at least that’s the honest answer just get out of my way or else LOL?!

    Life tries to throw me a stone I don’t want to carry it won’t be pretty?!

    Chained down by my past bad choices I guess I can seek guidance from someone further along in life so as not to dig the hole I have dug myself into deeper

    9 months ago
    1. Robin Ann

      Today is a NEW day. Sending you positive thoughts for better days ahead : )

      9 months ago
    2. Joseph McCann

      I have dug some holes in my past, have dug them deeper searching for the exit. What I needed to do and finally did was to look up. Loving kindness your way Voyager.

      9 months ago
    3. A
      Ana Maria

      Sending lots of love your way as you continue to find your path to the future that you envision. Stay strong. Blessings coming your way.

      9 months ago
    4. pkr

      Voyager, I hope you have compassion for yourself & are able to forgive yourself. Life can be hard. Be gentle with yourself. Sending you love & prayers.

      9 months ago
    5. Carol

      Voyager, Your deeply honest answer made me think of a poem. I share it in hopes it will be helpful to you. I was reading a book many years ago by Charles Whitfield called “Healing the Child Within.” That is where I first read the poem and it was so helpful to me. In fact, the whole book was a gift that helped me negotiate my challenges at the time.

      Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

      Chapter 1
      I walk down the street.
      There is a deep whole in the sidewalk.
      I fall in.
      I am lost…I am hopeless.
      It isn’t my fault.
      It takes forever to find a way out.

      Chapter 2
      I walk down the same street.
      There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
      I pretend I don’t see it.
      I fall in again.
      I can’t believe I am in the same place.
      But it isn’t my fault.
      It still takes a long time to get out.

      Chapter 3
      I walk down the same street.
      There is a deep whole in the sidewalk.
      I see it there.
      I still fall in…it’s a habit.
      My eyes are open.
      I know where I am.
      It’s my fault.
      I get out immediately.

      Chapter 4
      I walk down the same street.
      There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
      I walk around it.

      Chapter 5
      I walk down another street.

      9 months ago
      1. pkr

        Carol, thank you for the poem, it resonated with me.

        9 months ago
    6. J
      Jenifer

      It sounds like you are feeling discouraged with where you are at in life. Whatever you are going through, I hope you are able to express kindness and compassion to yourself. You said you made some bad choices in your past, I hope you are able to forgive yourself for them. A quote that has helped me practice forgiveness is “you can’t hate yourself into becoming the person you want to be” Practice accepting the fact you made certain decisions in your past, but choosing not to feel crushed by them anymore. Recognizing you have this moment in time to make a better decision, whatever that means to you. What kind of person do you want to be? Sending you lots of strength and courage.

      9 months ago
    7. Rabbit

      Many people on this site have much wisdom. Maybe try to remember today is a new day?

      9 months ago
  13. Joseph McCann

    To be kind, aware, compassionate, forgiving and loving to myself. Then I will be able to accept all challenges as they are waves in the ocean, I must be in the trough at times to reach the crest.

    9 months ago
    1. Rabbit

      Love your wisdom and the metaphor.

      9 months ago
      1. Josie

        “Ditto” to Rabbit’s comment. The wisdom you share, Joseph is hard won. Thank you.

        9 months ago
    2. Iamme

      I love this!

      9 months ago
    3. V
      Voyager

      Appreciate the imagery 🌊

      9 months ago
  14. EJP

    I can respond with great strength and courage, wisdom and knowledge and much love.

    9 months ago
  15. Kevin

    I can’t say that I go looking around for my highest self. I just roll up my sleeves, plunge in, and get it done!

    9 months ago
    1. Joseph McCann

      I knew a man, John Shawcroft, who attended many water meetings. When a meeting one time was dragging on with politics and minutia he spoke up and said : At moments like these my father would say time to get up and do something! Hope that it will help not hinder! Thanks for the memory jog Kevin. I had not thought of him for quite sometime since he left the planet.

      9 months ago
      1. Kevin

        Love that line, Joseph, “Time to get up and do something!”

        9 months ago
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