it is light which appears instead of sorrow and cloudy or even dark skies with thunder and lightenings, so to speak. Sometimes i forget that the way i shout into the woods, it reverberates back… So living from a place of love rather than fear is the way. Today this already transformed a moment of fear where, when i called the fearful, it seems that it turns out that probably all will be fine. The warrior part in me who fights fear or fights something else inside or outside leaves it´s weapons and armor at the threshold of the door to Love and so i may let go of fear, or better will deal with it more consciously – being aware of fear and in the same time stay in calm equilibrium. No fights, no weapons, no armors, no attack, fight. flee or freeze. Good work in progress, i would say. Thank you for this question and your posts.
My mother taught me fear . . .
fear of not pleasing her,
fear of being ‘bad’,
fear of her anger and retribution,
but that was long, long ago.
Fear for my very life
came later.
I am embarrassed and ashamed to say
that I lived with more than one abusive man,
and became accustomed to fearing unpredictable behavior,
soon developed ‘habits’ of startling easily,
to cringing,
to remaining silent rather than protest
or disagree.
At that point in my life
I felt that I had had my chance
and thought I was willing to sacrifice myself
at the altar of the other,
and you would think I’d have learned my lesson
when I returned home from work one night
and my partner pointed a gun at me and fired . . .
the bullet went into the wall
next to where I was standing,
jacket and purse in hand.
I went dead inside
and said to my partner,
“I”m going to take a shower”,
and went into the bathroom,
where I actually took off my clothes
and got into the shower,
not even thinking about what would meet me
when I came out . . .
I was trembling underneath the deadness,
vulnerable without my clothes.
It was like I was in an altered state of consciousness,
and not myself at all.
Nothing happened . . .
when I walked out of the bathroom
he was passed out in his chair.
Like I said,
you’d think I’d have learned my lesson
and had enough that night,
but I stayed for another year
before moving out while he was at work.
I still startle easily,
and cringe at unexpected touch or sounds,
but I am finding my voice
and am being healed by love.
Everything has changed since then . . .
those experiences in the past
have strengthened me
and made me rich in compassion
for the suffering of others
I see the world in colour again,
hear the birds singing,
and have good days.
Love was there,
waiting the whole time
for me to trust
and reach out my hand. ♥
I was greeted today by three visits of winged beings on my first full day home. First was a large bunch of cranes heading south. Seems a bit late but food must have been plentiful. Guess the light snow and cold last night sent the homing switch to on. Then there was two red tails fighting midair. One dropped a rodent, the fight continued and the victor swooped down and snagged the lost meal. At 4 PM a couple of owls began to speak to each other.
I feel freer! And more centered, more able to deal with negative things that might come up.
One specific example comes to mind: I often ride my bike into downtown. The most direct route to my usual destinations takes me past a mission where a lot of people stand around waiting for a meal or just passing the time. Many of them appear to be unhoused, with stacks of belonging in bike carts or shopping carts.
Younger me might have felt nervous on that street, operating from classist stereotypes. Today’s me rides happily, smiles at people, slows to let someone cross the street we’re sharing. I may not be operating completely out of love for them as individuals, but love and acceptance for humans who are down on their luck and experiencing things I’ve never had to deal with.
To Drea’s point about useful fear, I do pay attention to my gut. I had an extremely negative encounter with someone on a street in downtown Seattle a couple of weeks ago. I heard him muttering slurs as he strode along behind me, sounding very angry. I deliberately pulled over to fiddle with the suitcase I was pulling and readjust the backpack riding on top, which let him get past me. This was my gut prompting me.
I proceeded on my way, leaving space to let him get well ahead of me. But suddenly he whirled around, strode back and kicked my suitcase, yelling a slur at me as well. Then he whirled around again and walked away as I exclaimed “What the hell?!” (honest reaction).
A woman coming along the sidewalk asked if I was okay. I said, “Yes, I’m fine. He’s had a much harder life than I’ve had. It’s okay.” Not that it’s okay that he kicked my stuff or yelled at me, but I didn’t want her calling law enforcement. I’m white, he was Black, he appeared to be having a bad mental health day and that encounter might not end well. To me that’s a form of operating from love rather than fear.
You did a great job,
dear Barb,
keeping a cool head,
and probably helped to avert a serious situation.
Such a wise response might not have happened
had you not embraced Love in your life. ♥
KC, separation is something I know all too well. Trusting others isn’t easy. Of course, it takes both sides. On our end, we need to make our expectations realistic. Ultimately, we need people, especially family, and this includes the ones who are difficult to get along with.
How I wish it was easier – to trust, to have realistic expectations, and to communicate with difficult family.
Perhaps that is the invitation I am seeking for the unfolding season, to find and trust the light of love, and to live connected with and from that place as best I am able.
No problem, KC. I’m continuing to work on that myself too. I’m fortunate to come from an open-minded family. The cultural and generational cross in my Vietnamese family living in the US can make it harder to communicate. Fortunately, my aspergers is mild but still is a barrior in these settings when communicating my needs. I’ve had to learn backstage politics and rely on curruptive string-pulling habits. Although, not the best ways in the short run, but has worked. A long term solution I find that’s helping me is religion.
Most Vietnamese people have a buddhist foundation. I come from that and still have it too. As time goes on, I’ve noticed myself converting into Christianity. I appreciate the openness and acceptance from buddhism but have also come to feel protected from the Christian side. Firmness is my favorite aspect of Christianity. I find that believing in a higher power helps a lot.
When I live from a place of love, I practice trust, surrender, patience, and welcoming. Love feels expansive and accepting. When I live from a place of fear, I practice vigilance, recoiling, and projecting onto others. Fear feels like shrinking and judgment.
For me, though, it’s not either-or. There’s fear that is a distraction, fear that is outdated, and the fear that is a warning. I would like to operate from a place of love while honoring that my fear is sometimes wise (and sometimes not).
Fear has definitely served a very important role in the evolution of our species but the psychological fear I often experience is the one that eats my lunch!
When I live from a place of love rather than fear, I find it much easier to respond instead of react to my life situation. I am really drawn to the image of being a warrior for love. That is a battle I’m willing to embrace but sometimes it’s so very hard and it has been so lately. I think of the mantra, “Don’t fight, flee or freeze. Face, feel and Heal.” But I have learned that to heal is not always to cure. That depth of surrender has eluded me but I’m blessed with bits and pieces of it. It’s my thought that one has to be totally present, always in the NOW, to fully surrender. I have been told that the meaning of the word, “glorified” in Hebrew is God’s Presence or as Shakespeare says, “To Be or not to Be, that is the question. Sigh!!!
“To heal is not always to cure.” That’s profound. I will ponder that. I wondering if healing suggests growth and change, while cure = removal of the malady? Very interesting.
Living from love, I greet each day with curiosity, hope, and a smile. I trust what lies ahead and am also peaceful with where I am now. I can handle situations more easily with love than fear.
Fear is what the ________(fill in the blank) governments, big pharma, the American health care industrial complex, insurance of all types, many religions, gangs and crooks of all cloths, etcetera, etcetera, sow. Love is what those entities fear. Love does not bring them money, power or supporters. Nice to be home sitting by the fire and reflecting. On a love note, our granddaughter used a term I heard for the first time. She told me, she was a ‘good aura’ farmer. I like that term. Sounds peaceful and loving. Thanks all for the positive travel vibes. My lovely wife Cheryl and I truly are grateful for all those ‘good aura’s’.
“Love does not bring them money, power or supporters.” Yes, good point. I would like to ask myself, upon reading the news, “how is this fear-mongering benefiting those in power?” Would be a good exercise to become more aware of how they manipulate fear.
My inner world is filled with peace and kindness. Today’s question has come at the perfect time, as we are in Do Good December. Let’s transform this final month of this year into a remarkable Good December: https://actionforhappiness.org/calendar
Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.
it is light which appears instead of sorrow and cloudy or even dark skies with thunder and lightenings, so to speak. Sometimes i forget that the way i shout into the woods, it reverberates back… So living from a place of love rather than fear is the way. Today this already transformed a moment of fear where, when i called the fearful, it seems that it turns out that probably all will be fine. The warrior part in me who fights fear or fights something else inside or outside leaves it´s weapons and armor at the threshold of the door to Love and so i may let go of fear, or better will deal with it more consciously – being aware of fear and in the same time stay in calm equilibrium. No fights, no weapons, no armors, no attack, fight. flee or freeze. Good work in progress, i would say. Thank you for this question and your posts.
My mother taught me fear . . .
fear of not pleasing her,
fear of being ‘bad’,
fear of her anger and retribution,
but that was long, long ago.
Fear for my very life
came later.
I am embarrassed and ashamed to say
that I lived with more than one abusive man,
and became accustomed to fearing unpredictable behavior,
soon developed ‘habits’ of startling easily,
to cringing,
to remaining silent rather than protest
or disagree.
At that point in my life
I felt that I had had my chance
and thought I was willing to sacrifice myself
at the altar of the other,
and you would think I’d have learned my lesson
when I returned home from work one night
and my partner pointed a gun at me and fired . . .
the bullet went into the wall
next to where I was standing,
jacket and purse in hand.
I went dead inside
and said to my partner,
“I”m going to take a shower”,
and went into the bathroom,
where I actually took off my clothes
and got into the shower,
not even thinking about what would meet me
when I came out . . .
I was trembling underneath the deadness,
vulnerable without my clothes.
It was like I was in an altered state of consciousness,
and not myself at all.
Nothing happened . . .
when I walked out of the bathroom
he was passed out in his chair.
Like I said,
you’d think I’d have learned my lesson
and had enough that night,
but I stayed for another year
before moving out while he was at work.
I still startle easily,
and cringe at unexpected touch or sounds,
but I am finding my voice
and am being healed by love.
Everything has changed since then . . .
those experiences in the past
have strengthened me
and made me rich in compassion
for the suffering of others
I see the world in colour again,
hear the birds singing,
and have good days.
Love was there,
waiting the whole time
for me to trust
and reach out my hand. ♥
“hear the birds singing,”
I was greeted today by three visits of winged beings on my first full day home. First was a large bunch of cranes heading south. Seems a bit late but food must have been plentiful. Guess the light snow and cold last night sent the homing switch to on. Then there was two red tails fighting midair. One dropped a rodent, the fight continued and the victor swooped down and snagged the lost meal. At 4 PM a couple of owls began to speak to each other.
“hear the birds signing,”
Namaste
I heal when I come from a place of love.
I feel freer! And more centered, more able to deal with negative things that might come up.
One specific example comes to mind: I often ride my bike into downtown. The most direct route to my usual destinations takes me past a mission where a lot of people stand around waiting for a meal or just passing the time. Many of them appear to be unhoused, with stacks of belonging in bike carts or shopping carts.
Younger me might have felt nervous on that street, operating from classist stereotypes. Today’s me rides happily, smiles at people, slows to let someone cross the street we’re sharing. I may not be operating completely out of love for them as individuals, but love and acceptance for humans who are down on their luck and experiencing things I’ve never had to deal with.
To Drea’s point about useful fear, I do pay attention to my gut. I had an extremely negative encounter with someone on a street in downtown Seattle a couple of weeks ago. I heard him muttering slurs as he strode along behind me, sounding very angry. I deliberately pulled over to fiddle with the suitcase I was pulling and readjust the backpack riding on top, which let him get past me. This was my gut prompting me.
I proceeded on my way, leaving space to let him get well ahead of me. But suddenly he whirled around, strode back and kicked my suitcase, yelling a slur at me as well. Then he whirled around again and walked away as I exclaimed “What the hell?!” (honest reaction).
A woman coming along the sidewalk asked if I was okay. I said, “Yes, I’m fine. He’s had a much harder life than I’ve had. It’s okay.” Not that it’s okay that he kicked my stuff or yelled at me, but I didn’t want her calling law enforcement. I’m white, he was Black, he appeared to be having a bad mental health day and that encounter might not end well. To me that’s a form of operating from love rather than fear.
You handled it well but that had to be scary!
You did a great job,
dear Barb,
keeping a cool head,
and probably helped to avert a serious situation.
Such a wise response might not have happened
had you not embraced Love in your life. ♥
Everything !
♥
When I live from a place of love rather than fear, I feel connected with life and other beings, rather than separate and alone.
KC, separation is something I know all too well. Trusting others isn’t easy. Of course, it takes both sides. On our end, we need to make our expectations realistic. Ultimately, we need people, especially family, and this includes the ones who are difficult to get along with.
Thanks Loc. Beautifully said.
How I wish it was easier – to trust, to have realistic expectations, and to communicate with difficult family.
Perhaps that is the invitation I am seeking for the unfolding season, to find and trust the light of love, and to live connected with and from that place as best I am able.
No problem, KC. I’m continuing to work on that myself too. I’m fortunate to come from an open-minded family. The cultural and generational cross in my Vietnamese family living in the US can make it harder to communicate. Fortunately, my aspergers is mild but still is a barrior in these settings when communicating my needs. I’ve had to learn backstage politics and rely on curruptive string-pulling habits. Although, not the best ways in the short run, but has worked. A long term solution I find that’s helping me is religion.
Most Vietnamese people have a buddhist foundation. I come from that and still have it too. As time goes on, I’ve noticed myself converting into Christianity. I appreciate the openness and acceptance from buddhism but have also come to feel protected from the Christian side. Firmness is my favorite aspect of Christianity. I find that believing in a higher power helps a lot.
Oh boy! Fear is a big one. Everything changes, when I can come from a place of love. Thanks for the reminder. I’ll attempt to put love first today. ❤️
Charlie, Whether you feel it or not, love just pours out of you on this site. Gentleness and concern.
I feel calmer and more curious about life. I am open to learning and unexpected beauty.
Elizabeth, I’m with you on all of this, but to go even further, I don’t need load management.
When I live from a place of love, I practice trust, surrender, patience, and welcoming. Love feels expansive and accepting. When I live from a place of fear, I practice vigilance, recoiling, and projecting onto others. Fear feels like shrinking and judgment.
For me, though, it’s not either-or. There’s fear that is a distraction, fear that is outdated, and the fear that is a warning. I would like to operate from a place of love while honoring that my fear is sometimes wise (and sometimes not).
Fear has definitely served a very important role in the evolution of our species but the psychological fear I often experience is the one that eats my lunch!
You are right,
dear Drea . . .
fear does have its place as a warning.
It’s good to remember that.
This kind of fear
is there to protect you. ♥
Drea, I resignate with you on this one. For me, fear leads to string-pulling while love purifies me.
Love opens. Fear restricts.
Short and sweet,
dear Yram . . .
well said. ♥
When I live from a place of love rather than fear, I find it much easier to respond instead of react to my life situation. I am really drawn to the image of being a warrior for love. That is a battle I’m willing to embrace but sometimes it’s so very hard and it has been so lately. I think of the mantra, “Don’t fight, flee or freeze. Face, feel and Heal.” But I have learned that to heal is not always to cure. That depth of surrender has eluded me but I’m blessed with bits and pieces of it. It’s my thought that one has to be totally present, always in the NOW, to fully surrender. I have been told that the meaning of the word, “glorified” in Hebrew is God’s Presence or as Shakespeare says, “To Be or not to Be, that is the question. Sigh!!!
“Don’t fight, flee or freeze. Face, feel and Heal.”
I will remember this,
dear Carol Ann . . . ♥
“To heal is not always to cure.” That’s profound. I will ponder that. I wondering if healing suggests growth and change, while cure = removal of the malady? Very interesting.
Drea, sounds about right.
Living from love, I greet each day with curiosity, hope, and a smile. I trust what lies ahead and am also peaceful with where I am now. I can handle situations more easily with love than fear.
Curiosity! Yes. I once read that it’s impossible to feel anxious and curious at the same time.
🙂
Trust and perspective can change.
Happy Monday ya’ll 🙂
https://actionforhappiness.org/calendar
https://nationaltoday.com/today/
🐇🐇🐇
Fear is what the ________(fill in the blank) governments, big pharma, the American health care industrial complex, insurance of all types, many religions, gangs and crooks of all cloths, etcetera, etcetera, sow. Love is what those entities fear. Love does not bring them money, power or supporters. Nice to be home sitting by the fire and reflecting. On a love note, our granddaughter used a term I heard for the first time. She told me, she was a ‘good aura’ farmer. I like that term. Sounds peaceful and loving. Thanks all for the positive travel vibes. My lovely wife Cheryl and I truly are grateful for all those ‘good aura’s’.
I want to be a ‘good aura’ farmer too,
dear Joseph. 🙂
ps. I just read that ‘good aura farmer’
was a candidate for Word of the Year.
Who knew?
Not I!
“Love does not bring them money, power or supporters.” Yes, good point. I would like to ask myself, upon reading the news, “how is this fear-mongering benefiting those in power?” Would be a good exercise to become more aware of how they manipulate fear.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Joseph. It is very helpful and appreciated.
My inner world is filled with peace and kindness. Today’s question has come at the perfect time, as we are in Do Good December. Let’s transform this final month of this year into a remarkable Good December: https://actionforhappiness.org/calendar
Thank you and Michele for the link!
My Ngoc, this reminds me of an all too familiar saying I’ve heard before of “December to remember.”
That’s funny, I posted that link too before reading your reflection 🙂
Yeah, Michele. We’re people, who curious about new things every day! 🐰