Reflections

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  1. Robin Ann
    Robin Ann
    4 weeks ago

    I took time out of my work schedule to relax in our serenity room on a massage lounge chair. I sighed up for “Sound Bath” my work is offering for Valentine’s treat. I looked up some You-tube Exercises for knee joint pain which seemed to come on suddenly after turning age 65! Lastly I took the family dog for a walk even though it felt cold out right after work.

  2. K
    Karen Kilroy
    4 weeks ago

    By setting aside time each day for reflection and meditation. Also if I would speak to myself the way I speak to a friend or one of my daughters.

  3. pkr29022
    pkr
    1 month ago

    I can be more compassionate towards myself today by not putting so much pressure on myself to get “stuff” done. Some days my to do list has too much control of my life, to the point where I am not enjoying any of it. I need to remind myself to stop, look, go & breathe. Stop & smell the roses as “they” say.
    Happy Wednesday All.
    🕊️♥️

  4. D
    Drea
    1 month ago

    I have an emotional hangover from the difficult confrontation I had yesterday (which is dragging into today). I can take self-compassion breaks today. Inspo: https://self-compassion.org/exercises/exercise-2-self-compassion-break/

    1. Joseph
      Joseph McCann
      4 weeks ago

      Thank you Drea so much for this link. I have read and practiced similar steps when life’s challenges and complication arise. Always good for me to read a slightly different conceptualizations of the same idea.

      1. D
        Drea
        4 weeks ago

        Same here!

    2. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      4 weeks ago

      These look like very good exercises to try,
      dear Drea . . .
      I hope they are able to uplift you a little
      today. ♥

      1. D
        Drea
        4 weeks ago

        They were helpful yesterday, thank you Sparrow.

    3. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      Drea, certain things take time to let go. By-passing deadlines is the key to that. When we’re able to do so, we end up healing faster. It’s not easy being in the US where productivity reigns supreme.

      1. D
        Drea
        4 weeks ago

        Good point Loc, no reason to think something emotional is going to happen on anything but its own timeline.

  5. Kathy29496
    Katrina
    1 month ago

    How could I be more compassionate towards myself today? I could finish a project that has been sitting on the dining table for weeks; or I could let it go, knowing that it is not a do or die kind of project – just something I thought I wanted to do. Now it’s half finished and there it sits. Which feels like the compassionate thing to do? I could add in a live online exercise class that I sometimes enjoy, or not, knowing that I’ll feel better if I do it, but that I could do something I’d rather do and would like (watch TV or take a nap) if I don’t. Which seems like the more compassionate thing to do? Sometimes the compassionate thing for me is to not overthink what is the compassionate (or pick an adjective) thing to do. But then how will I know what to do? BTW – I’m attending a webinar this afternoon on how to stop overthinking.

    1. Mary
      Mary Mantei
      4 weeks ago

      Thank you for the knowing smile, Katrina. ♥️

    2. Joseph
      Joseph McCann
      4 weeks ago

      When I begin to overthink . . . .I bring it back to the breath. Always the breath.

    3. Robin Ann
      Robin Ann
      4 weeks ago

      How was the webinar?

      1. Kathy29496
        Katrina
        4 weeks ago

        It was good! Helpful – sort of a promo for her new book, but helpful nonetheless.

    4. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      Katrina, this reminds me of the 4 quadrants I’ve talked about before from comments to other people’s answers I learned from my days at an Adult Day Treatment AKA ADT program in 2019-20. Often times when looking back upon our priorities, we end up in the “Important but not urgent” quadrant. It’s the healthiest of the 4. We have enough responsibilities to keep us going without needing to be in a rush.

      1. Kathy29496
        Katrina
        4 weeks ago

        Sounds like a fascinating training…

        1. L
          Loc Tran
          4 weeks ago

          Katrina, it sure is. The “Not urgent and not important” place is quite common as well with all that free time on our hands. I’ve heard my parents talking about it in retirement age with many of their friends.

  6. Richard51934
    Richard
    1 month ago

    I need not think that I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders alone. I am not walking this journey alone.

    1. Robin Ann
      Robin Ann
      4 weeks ago

      Amen to that!

    2. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      4 weeks ago

      No,
      you are not,
      dear Richard . . .
      I would help me to bear that in mind myself.
      Thank you. ♥

  7. Patti
    sunnypatti
    1 month ago

    By not judging or comparing myself to others.

    1. Mary
      Mary Mantei
      4 weeks ago

      Simple and powerful, SunnyPatti.♥️

    2. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      4 weeks ago

      . . . a wise and simple answer,
      dear SunnyPatti . . .
      namaste. ♥

      1. Patti
        sunnypatti
        4 weeks ago

        It isn’t always easy, but I do my best ✨

    3. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      Sunnypatti, that’s a good one. A perfect example is Ngoc and me. We have a unique marriage where we can both have interests and appreciate each other’s value. For example, she’s into creativity and art. I may not be into that but can appreciate the colors and how they can make my life more meanningful. Business and backstage politics have become my new passions.
      Business and backstage politics have many structures and require a great deal of originality. Ngoc’s not into those things, because she has a bad impression of how those guys are all about the money. I do agree that without heart, it’s easy to go on the greedy path. On the other hand, she also understands my business umpires and everything I do is rooted in protection and appreciates my desire to learn and explore unfamiliar viewpoints. This highlights another key difference.
      Ngoc is more upfront. Traditional Asian cultures value authenticity. Letting go of and looking past my agendas are what I can learn. I’m more of a backdoor person which I’ve also learned to be over the years. To put in a nutshell, she’s the fire, and I’m the ice. She helps me be more upfront while I help her control impulsive tendencies.
      As far as protective umpires go, I’m happy to also have the “Grateful Living” umpire as well. Speaking of business and corruption, this reminds me of Tom Geiger’s comment from months ago to me on Antoinette’s post.
      Tom said that business can be corruptive but doesn’t have to be. That’s the beauty of an individualistic culture like the US where autonomy reigns supreme with how extra rights come with extra responsibilities. I also remember reinforcing the notion of mastering the right strokes first to prevent going down the corruptive path too.
      As far as my new passions go, my communication style happens to carry a business flavor, because I just happen to play multiple sides on an issue to accomplish my goals. Sports has also become a business too, especially the NBA where it’s full of chaos with superstars running the league. Nowadays, I’m more into the business components. I’m still an MJ guy, because he kept basketball in basketball backed up by 6 rings and jump shots.

      1. Patti
        sunnypatti
        4 weeks ago

        The best marriages are when two people balance each other out and can talk about their different ideas without worry. I’m glad you and Ngoc have that… and I’m glad that I have that with my husband as well.
        I was a big NBA fan in the early 90s and a big fan of Michael Jordan, too. We watch sometimes but will be going to a game in about a month when the Hornets host the Mavericks. My husband wants to see Kon Knueppel and Cooper Flagg play each other (and the rest of the team, of course). It will be a fun game!

        1. L
          Loc Tran
          4 weeks ago

          Sunnypatti, the 80s, 90s, and MJ era was the golden age. As far as the Hornets Mavs go, Cooper Flag is generating a lot of buzz.

  8. Mary
    Mary Mantei
    1 month ago

    This question sent me to my journal to process a bit. I am feeling a bit dull-witted the past few days. Toooooo much routine in my life. And who is it up to to change that, Mary? So being compassionate to myself regarding this feeling is acknowledgement. Acceptance of what I am feeling. That awareness calms the spinning and doubt. And then, and only then it seems, I can begin to create something differently, see something differently, do something differently.
    As I write this I realize I am describing Stop. Look. Go. Peace to each of you.♥️

    PS: Mary, you quoted, “Set the bar low . . . succeed more.” Very helpful right now, thank you.

  9. Carol Ann Conner
    Carol Ann Conner
    1 month ago

    I can be more compassionate by taking more deliberate pauses. Being more aware of both mind and body. Yesterday, I let my monkey mind get me into what I call a tizzy. When I realized it, it was like the self talk battering me ceased and I found my higher self literally ordering me to calm down. It’s like that part of me that has never been anxious stepped forward. Compassion (com-to be with and passion-an authentic, deep and driving enthusiasm for something). It was like for a matter of seconds everything stopped–stood still. I thought of the Psalm “Be still (desist) and know” that the the “I Am” lives in me. May I choose to let it be. I again think of Mother Teresa when asked how she prays and she answered. “I pray without words. I listen to the silence.” For me, that means she honors the Presence of the I Am which is always with her.

    1. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      4 weeks ago

      Your saying to yourself,
      “Be still and know that I am,”
      is a phrase I use often,
      dear Carol Ann.
      It calms me down
      and brings me back to myself . . .
      it is a sentence filled with compassion. ♥

  10. Ngoc Nguyen
    Ngoc Nguyen
    1 month ago

    I often need more stimulation and a sense of urgency to get things done. Today, I have an assignment due tomorrow, but I have no time to delay. I need to save my self-compassion until Sunday, the day we enjoy our family gathering. Then it will be time to relax. Happy Wednesday, everyone! 💐

    1. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      My Ngoc, I just searched ADHD and stimulation. Those people thrive on that. It’s how they’re motivated to get going. This also explains why having sound helps you fall asleep at the right times and how you’ve used different forms of stimulation to help you stay focused on completing important tasks like studying especially.

  11. D
    Deann
    1 month ago

    I can say “ Thank You” to the person in the mirror , she’ll know what it’s for.

    1. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      4 weeks ago

      🙂

  12. L
    Loc Tran
    1 month ago

    This is one area I’m already good at as a laid back person. I already have the firm belief that there’s no failure in life. Failure is when we refuse to try. God gives us endless opportunities for us to have our ducks lined in a row. In case if Ngoc doesn’t know what it means to get our ducks in a row, it means having our lives together.

    1. Ngoc Nguyen
      Ngoc Nguyen
      1 month ago

      What if my life only has one duck? So, that means that the duck doesn’t need to be in any row. Because there’s no row to line in. 😂 🦆

      1. Robin Ann
        Robin Ann
        4 weeks ago

        lol

      2. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        4 weeks ago

        🙂

      3. L
        Loc Tran
        1 month ago

        My Ngoc, you have only 1 duck with 2 eggs. Only the eggs need to be lined in a row.

  13. Joseph
    Joseph McCann
    1 month ago

    Yesterday, late afternoon, I spoke with my youngest sister, the youngest of 6 siblings, five alive. I called to discuss how my folks, father 93, step mother 90, are actually getting along. My sisters, daughters of my step mother and father, handled the transactions necessary for their move into assisted living. Somewhere in our conversation Pattie somewhat jokingly wondered out loud why the burden had fallen into her and Kit (the two youngest) lap and not into Ruth’s and mine (the two oldest). I need to show myself compassion over what I perceived as passive aggression about care of aging parents. And not feel guilty that I moved far away from Ventura County, California some 50 years ago. I will speak with my two other sisters and get their take. I also hope that my sister Pattie was able to vent some of her frustration. Peace, Love & Light.

    1. Michele
      Michele
      4 weeks ago

      🤗

    2. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      4 weeks ago

      Many of us have experienced different versions of the this,
      dear Joseph.
      My parents
      handled their own retirement decisions
      up to the point where my father died . . .
      after that
      It was my younger brother
      who took the reigns.
      I too,
      have felt like guilt was piled upon me,
      as I was the one who moved away . . .
      all the way across the country
      as it turned out,
      leaving my brother to the lion’s share of my mother’s care.
      And he did admirably,
      driving over 60 miles from Fort Collins
      to Boulder
      at least once a week.
      I was very grateful for this,
      as I did not have the financial ability
      to fly out more than once a year
      to stay with her in her assisted living facility as a guest.
      When she died,
      was when the passive aggressive stuff started to leak out.
      I felt guilty,
      and that there was some kernel of truth in his resentment,
      but life had happened.
      Things had changed.
      And there was nothing I could do to change it back.
      We no longer had long, friendly phone calls
      and were basically estranged.
      He died suddenly of covid at the end of the pandemic,
      which ended our physical connection for real,
      and his wife continued his silence for some years.
      This year though,
      at Christmas time
      I received a little something from her
      in a package from my niece,
      who chose to remain in touch,
      so maybe the barriers are softening.

      Be of good spirit . . .
      time may change the dynamic you feel from your sisters.
      Be patient and loving with yourself,
      knowing you’ve done the best you could
      with love . . . ♥

    3. J
      John
      1 month ago

      Joseph, any one who has had caregiving responsibility for an aging or infirm relative is special even if it is from afar. My wife and I cared for my oldest sister in her fight with ALS. But from afar, we both cared for our aged parents. Thankfully our large families were able to collectively figure out how to distribute the details.
      Our most recent infirm family member, my wife’s mom, was cared for by every member in some way. She lived in Dayton Ohio, and had a child here in Arizona, another in Minneapolis, one in Memphis, another in Columbus Ohio, one in Cincinnati and one in Dayton.
      And, by the way, of course you must have discovered that the monetary and practical burdens often seem insurmountable.
      I still wonder and am amazed at the ways that families somehow glom together the necessary gumption to do the work for their loved one.. You might be interested in this article from yesterday: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/03/opinion/aging-caregiving-in-america.html.

    4. D
      Deann
      1 month ago

      It is hard to be the sibling that lives farther away. I am sure your younger siblings do understand how hard it is for you to travel and take care of these things. I am the sibling that lives further away and when my dad became ill was unable to pack up and stay for the full length of time. My sister was understanding but exhausted. I could feel the resentment and her guilt for having that resentment.

      I hope you and your siblings can have a safe conversation filled with acknowledgment for the hardships of living near and far. Maybe those that live close need permission and grace to take a guilt free break and those that live far need the same permission and grace for not being able to pack up their lives or put them on hold to travel. Give yourself the grace and permission if your siblings do not, you give so much to this world with the path your life has taken its okay.

      1. Joseph
        Joseph McCann
        4 weeks ago

        Thank you all for your wisdom and kindness.

  14. Michele
    Michele
    1 month ago

    I can speak only positive thoughts to myself, no negativity… had a rough work day yesterday so I am trying to be forgiving of myself too.

    https://nationaltoday.com/today/

    1. Michele
      Michele
      4 weeks ago

      thank you everyone – ya’ll warm my heart and soul and made me smile💗🤗

    2. Robin Ann
      Robin Ann
      4 weeks ago

      Sending peaceful thoughts your way🕊️

    3. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      4 weeks ago

      I too,
      send you some good, healing energy,
      dear Michele.
      You will rise above . . .
      just be patient with yourself
      with love . . . ♥

    4. D
      Drea
      1 month ago

      Hope today is better, Michele.

    5. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol Ann Conner
      1 month ago

      Michele, Sending you a big hug.

  15. Christina Rossi75270
    Christina
    1 month ago

    I so much need this one. I always get lost in the shuffle. In my relentless need to improve myself (and there’s plenty to improve,) I forget me. I never got that thing about not being able to love someone until you love yourself, but I can try to do it.
    Today I will again keep the resentful thoughts at bay and stay open. It gets me so down when I am resentful! I will relieve myself of the thoughts. That’s compassion to self.

    1. D
      Drea
      1 month ago

      Throwing my $0.02 into the mix, I find that anger can be useful. It’s just really hard to manage. Reading the book “The Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner gave me the questions below, which I fill out whenever I have an anger that’s overriding my day. Adds clarity and direction to the anger. Sending your way in case helpful:

      What about the situation makes me angry?
      What is the real issue here?
      What do I think and feel?
      What do I want to accomplish?
      Who is responsible for what?
      What specifically do I want to change?
      What are the things I will and will not do?

      1. Christina Rossi75270
        Christina
        4 weeks ago

        Thanks Drea. I’ve heard of the book you cite. They’re helpful questions.

      2. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        4 weeks ago

        A wonderful book,
        dear Drea . . .
        I read it years ago,
        and it still sticks with me.♥

    2. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol Ann Conner
      1 month ago

      Christina, I share a story from my journals which helped me deal with resentment which I define as anger resent.
      The Story of the Donkey and Tiger
      The donkey told the tiger:
      ′′The grass is blue”.
      The tiger replied:
      ′′No, the grass is green”.
      The discussion became heated up, and the two decided to submit the issue to arbitration, and to do so they approached the lion, King of the Jungle.
      Before reaching the clearing in the forest where the lion was sitting on his throne, the donkey started screaming:
      ′′Your Highness, is it true that grass is blue?”.
      The lion replied:
      “True, the grass is blue”.
      The donkey rushed forward and continued:
      ′′The tiger disagrees with me and contradicts me and annoys me please punish him”.
      The king then declared:
      ′′The tiger will be punished with 5 years of silence”.
      The donkey jumped for joy and went on his way, content and repeating:
      ′′The grass is blue”…
      The tiger accepted his punishment, but he asked the lion:
      ′′Your Majesty, why have you punished me, after all, the grass is green?”
      The lion replied:
      ′′In fact, the grass is green”.
      The tiger asked:
      ′′So why do you punish me?”
      The lion replied:
      ′′That has nothing to do with the question of whether the grass is blue or green. The punishment is because it is not possible for a brave, intelligent creature like you to waste time arguing with a donkey, and on top of that to come and bother me with that question”.
      The worst waste of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who doesn’t care about truth or reality, but only the victory of their beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on discussions that make no sense… There are people who for all the evidence presented to them, do not have the ability to understand, and others who are blinded by ego, hatred and resentment, and the only thing that they want is to be right even if they aren’t. When ignorance screams, intelligence shuts up. Your peace and tranquility are worth more.
      Author unknown

      1. Robin Ann
        Robin Ann
        4 weeks ago

        Love this!

      2. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        4 weeks ago

        LOVE,LOVE,LOVE this story,
        dear Carol Ann . . .
        it’s a keeper.
        Thank you so much for posting it . . .
        I got a laugh out of it as well. 🙂

      3. Christina Rossi75270
        Christina
        1 month ago

        Thank you, Carol Ann. I am the irrational donkey in this. Feeling I am justified in my anger.

        1. Carol Ann Conner
          Carol Ann Conner
          1 month ago

          Please don’t beat yourself up, Christina. I like Drea’s questions. They may help you brake the cycle and let go. Big hug coming your way.

      4. L
        Loc Tran
        1 month ago

        Carol, Ngoc told the story to my parents and me at lunch not too long ago. As far as my take goes, arguing with people who are set in their ways is like stealing candy from babies.

    3. Mary
      Mary Mantei
      1 month ago

      Godspeed, Christina.♥️

    4. Joseph
      Joseph McCann
      1 month ago

      Christina, something I read helps me when I feel resentment welling up.

      Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other to die.

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        4 weeks ago

        I’m getting many laughs and smiles here today,
        dear Joseph . . . 🙂

      2. L
        Loc Tran
        1 month ago

        Joseph, we end up with more poison.

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