I think for me it’s just shifting my perspective. A lot of my life I always was that person like offering the support and encouragement, had friends I was there for financially, morally, in all these ways and for years — then I suffered some setbacks and they scattered like roaches when the lights turn on. I have to rethink how I orient in life realizing that there’s tendencies I have that I have to work on and I sometimes actually have this hesitance towards success and happiness or people who have more success, confidence and happiness — like a feeling I somehow don’t belong around them? So then I end up in these kind of one-sided relationships where I’m supplying everything and then when I have difficulty — they vanish, that’s what I learned.
So I think I’m learning from this situation I need to change how I relate and who I form closeness with, this might be from my background, I don’t really know — but I think I’ll be better off if I try to seek out happy and confident people who are fairly successful to be friends with. When times are really good I don’t mind things being uneven in terms of reciprocity in positive emotion or even resources, like paying for things etc. but when times get rough and someone just disappears — that’s hard and I don’t want to go through that again. Where it’s not on them entirely, it’s my own tendency to be hesitant about being closer with people who are fairly healthy and successful, like I feel somehow I don’t belong with them or something like that — and I think I do actually and I offer a lot so it’s changing that tendency.
I didn’t think I had any specific challenges because I was thinking of new or transitory ones. I guess I can think about my husband’s diabetes, how he manages his food, and how I might let go of some of my desires for him to address things differently. He’s doing what works for him. It’s hard because it means I cook and can a lot of things he won’t eat and I love cooking for other people’s enjoyment. He does a lot of research and is oriented toward data science so I know he’s doing what comes naturally for the way his mind works and his need to feel some measure of control in a very undesirable situation.
Just knowing that whatever happens,
to trust in my ability to withstand and
my ability to change course.
The opportunity is to be able to apply
my practices.
My son has autism and his behavior lately has been very draining, and I have felt quite overwhelmed with everything. I need to remember to take time for mindful breathing and to maybe even sneak a meditation in somewhere — these tools I know can be helpful when I make time to use them.
I don’t know if you have a meditation practice that has a method to help, but I can leave this link to the locations all over the world . This method has changed my life. Hope it helps . 🙏 https://onlinemeditationevents.com/locations/
Autism is a tricky one to figure out. I’m on the spectrum as well but most certainly don’t look like one from an external perspective, because mine is very mild. I can understand both sides. There are many delicate balances to navigate. A lot of healthy boundaries have to be established.
For as long as I can remember, going to bed before it becomes late has been a challenge for me.
The opportunity to organize, simplify, and commit to some structure are there for me to act on.
I believe that making the commitment to going to bed earlier is the first step.
Thanks for reading this.
A challenge for me right now is being confident enough to promote our business and start planning events. We do have to wait on the state of NC to approve our business transfer, but there are certain things we can go ahead and do without any permitting. So we are going to start small and hopefully line up some small private dinners. It’s just all very scary wondering if anyone will reach out for our services, but we were successful with it before, and I have to remember that! We are good at what we do. It’ll be easier to move forward if I can remember that instead of focusing on the fears and what-ifs.
update – just got a reply back –
‘Private messaging is not a feature of our website or our community platform at this time. ‘
0
Michele
4 months ago
I just sent an email from the Contact Us tab and asked about how to send private messages… and also to bring back the edit button, lol
0
Yram
4 months ago
My ongoing challenge is to support my husband in his illness at the same time respect my needs. The opportunities that have emerged are readings, webinars, being with others, and asking for help.
Yram, I completely relate to this. Asking for help is especially critical for me, and hard to do. I do need to remember that I have needs too. Thank you for the reminder. And all the best with your husband.
My life is currently smooth sailing. I know a challenge will come. All we need to do is to expect the unexpected. My meditation practices from Soothing Pod is an opportunity I identify that will nonly put me in a better position to handle challenges as they arise but to move forward.
First of all, thanks to Michele, Joseph, and my Loc for congratulating me on my citizenship. The only thing that jumps out when I read this question is my college major and my career path. I’m going through a tough time and feeling confused. I feel like computer science isn’t right for me, but there is no opportunity that helps me move forward yet. I’m in the middle of deciding whether to change my major or keep going.
Ngoc, I have been traveling- and currently in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I have not had internet service for several days. This morning I have been able to log on and read previous days questions and answers on Grateful Living- I wanted to congratulate you on your citizen ship!! Welcome to the USA…we are Blessed to have you!! Congratulations!
I’d add–as someone who changed my major several times and am working in a field I wouldn’t have thought of when I was in college–that all learning is fodder and that you aren’t locked into specific future work based on your major. Good luck with making choices that help you feel a sense of progress and also joy in learning.
I agree with YRAM – listen to your heart! Pray about it and hopefully you will figure out if you need to change your major. While it’s been many years, I know how difficult that can be since it lays the groundwork for your future.
Congrats from me as well on becoming a citizen of the USA!
I have two challenges going on at the moment. One is to prepare for a social services visit next Monday. The local council want to cut services to plug a huge deficit. The second one is trying to get a repeat blood test organised that my doctor suggested getting done after 3 months of a treatment I was put on. It’s taken 3 days to get a receptionist at the doctor’s hub to return my call. I now have to wait a week before I can speak to doctor on the phone. She will then action the community nurses to call in the following week and take some blood for testing. I should get the results back the week after that. This is what the NHS in the UK is like now. The opportunity here is to practice calm and patience and deal with what has to be dealt with at the time and not future-trip.
I am right with you in the frustration of the medical system. Patience is in order. We can only do what we can do and then trust. This is not easy for me.
Our current challenge is the fact that we became a one car family about a month ago. Each of us has always had our own car for nearly our entire lives. We are privileged!
We’d already discussed paring down to one in the very recent past, and how that could change things or not. After four weeks, and a couple of ride share efforts, so far so good. And we are saving a few bucks for some travel for next year.
We both are volunteers that do require some transportation locally, but we think we are up to the challenge.
Dare I say congratulations? I’m also in a one-car family. We made the decision because we both bike for the majority of local transportation. We then moved to a town that has fare-free transit, which makes it even easier. I got an e-bike that’s a huge help with the longer trips or those when I need to haul a bit more stuff.
This has also reinforced the importance of a network of good friends I could call in an emergency if my husband were gone with the car and I really needed something. Fortunately one of my best friends lives about 1.5 miles away and teleworks same as I do so we can be available for each other, and I have a couple of other people I could call in a pinch. We need to weave that social fabric together for mutual aid.
About the only challenge, real or imagined, in my little world right now is to bale my last cuttings of hay. We have received 0.65″ of rain in three events. When the hay dries out, I will pounce on the opportunity to finish the hay harvest. Sometimes moisture can be a mixed blessing, but it is the giver of life, so I never begrudge it.
I suppose I should have said oblong or rectangular, to be more accurate. Just comparing their general shapes in my mind. I still remember being amazed the first time I saw round bales!
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I think for me it’s just shifting my perspective. A lot of my life I always was that person like offering the support and encouragement, had friends I was there for financially, morally, in all these ways and for years — then I suffered some setbacks and they scattered like roaches when the lights turn on. I have to rethink how I orient in life realizing that there’s tendencies I have that I have to work on and I sometimes actually have this hesitance towards success and happiness or people who have more success, confidence and happiness — like a feeling I somehow don’t belong around them? So then I end up in these kind of one-sided relationships where I’m supplying everything and then when I have difficulty — they vanish, that’s what I learned.
So I think I’m learning from this situation I need to change how I relate and who I form closeness with, this might be from my background, I don’t really know — but I think I’ll be better off if I try to seek out happy and confident people who are fairly successful to be friends with. When times are really good I don’t mind things being uneven in terms of reciprocity in positive emotion or even resources, like paying for things etc. but when times get rough and someone just disappears — that’s hard and I don’t want to go through that again. Where it’s not on them entirely, it’s my own tendency to be hesitant about being closer with people who are fairly healthy and successful, like I feel somehow I don’t belong with them or something like that — and I think I do actually and I offer a lot so it’s changing that tendency.
I didn’t think I had any specific challenges because I was thinking of new or transitory ones. I guess I can think about my husband’s diabetes, how he manages his food, and how I might let go of some of my desires for him to address things differently. He’s doing what works for him. It’s hard because it means I cook and can a lot of things he won’t eat and I love cooking for other people’s enjoyment. He does a lot of research and is oriented toward data science so I know he’s doing what comes naturally for the way his mind works and his need to feel some measure of control in a very undesirable situation.
Just knowing that whatever happens,
to trust in my ability to withstand and
my ability to change course.
The opportunity is to be able to apply
my practices.
My son has autism and his behavior lately has been very draining, and I have felt quite overwhelmed with everything. I need to remember to take time for mindful breathing and to maybe even sneak a meditation in somewhere — these tools I know can be helpful when I make time to use them.
I don’t know if you have a meditation practice that has a method to help, but I can leave this link to the locations all over the world . This method has changed my life. Hope it helps . 🙏
https://onlinemeditationevents.com/locations/
Autism is a tricky one to figure out. I’m on the spectrum as well but most certainly don’t look like one from an external perspective, because mine is very mild. I can understand both sides. There are many delicate balances to navigate. A lot of healthy boundaries have to be established.
Just focusing on one thing at a time and staying present.
For as long as I can remember, going to bed before it becomes late has been a challenge for me.
The opportunity to organize, simplify, and commit to some structure are there for me to act on.
I believe that making the commitment to going to bed earlier is the first step.
Thanks for reading this.
Mary I feel the same way ! Old habits can be so annoying! Even when I’m tired I don’t want to go to bed. Tonight I’m going to also try ! Thank you .
Thanks Antoinette!
Even when I’m tired, I don’t want to go to bed either!
Because of your response, I feel less alone in this. ♥️
A challenge for me right now is being confident enough to promote our business and start planning events. We do have to wait on the state of NC to approve our business transfer, but there are certain things we can go ahead and do without any permitting. So we are going to start small and hopefully line up some small private dinners. It’s just all very scary wondering if anyone will reach out for our services, but we were successful with it before, and I have to remember that! We are good at what we do. It’ll be easier to move forward if I can remember that instead of focusing on the fears and what-ifs.
Do you have a website?
Yes 🙂 I will message it to you.
I’m trying to figure out how to private message you… I feel like we used to be able to click on profiles but doesn’t seem that way now.
update – just got a reply back –
‘Private messaging is not a feature of our website or our community platform at this time. ‘
I just sent an email from the Contact Us tab and asked about how to send private messages… and also to bring back the edit button, lol
My ongoing challenge is to support my husband in his illness at the same time respect my needs. The opportunities that have emerged are readings, webinars, being with others, and asking for help.
Yram, I completely relate to this. Asking for help is especially critical for me, and hard to do. I do need to remember that I have needs too. Thank you for the reminder. And all the best with your husband.
And back to you. I hold you in thought and prayer often.
You hang in and blessings to your husband.
Thank you!
Not being so critical of myself and wallowing in my loom. Trying to stay still and upright, not hunched down or fumbling around.
I feel what you are saying Jennifer!
For me it feels like a choice between isolating and shutting down or opening up to possibility!♥️
My life is currently smooth sailing. I know a challenge will come. All we need to do is to expect the unexpected. My meditation practices from Soothing Pod is an opportunity I identify that will nonly put me in a better position to handle challenges as they arise but to move forward.
First of all, thanks to Michele, Joseph, and my Loc for congratulating me on my citizenship. The only thing that jumps out when I read this question is my college major and my career path. I’m going through a tough time and feeling confused. I feel like computer science isn’t right for me, but there is no opportunity that helps me move forward yet. I’m in the middle of deciding whether to change my major or keep going.
Ngoc, I have been traveling- and currently in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I have not had internet service for several days. This morning I have been able to log on and read previous days questions and answers on Grateful Living- I wanted to congratulate you on your citizen ship!! Welcome to the USA…we are Blessed to have you!! Congratulations!
My Ngoc, we’re the ones who know ourselves the best when all said and done.
I’d add–as someone who changed my major several times and am working in a field I wouldn’t have thought of when I was in college–that all learning is fodder and that you aren’t locked into specific future work based on your major. Good luck with making choices that help you feel a sense of progress and also joy in learning.
Thank you so much, Barb, for your motivations. ☻
I agree with YRAM – listen to your heart! Pray about it and hopefully you will figure out if you need to change your major. While it’s been many years, I know how difficult that can be since it lays the groundwork for your future.
Congrats from me as well on becoming a citizen of the USA!
Sunnypatti, yours and Yram’s words are both lifting me up in the midst of confussion. Thank you so much for congratulations on my citizenship.
Listen to your heart and gut. Follow what you love and a major will appear.
Welcome to the USA.
Thank you so much, Yram. You and all the folks here are pringing me lots of possibilities and possitivities.
I have two challenges going on at the moment. One is to prepare for a social services visit next Monday. The local council want to cut services to plug a huge deficit. The second one is trying to get a repeat blood test organised that my doctor suggested getting done after 3 months of a treatment I was put on. It’s taken 3 days to get a receptionist at the doctor’s hub to return my call. I now have to wait a week before I can speak to doctor on the phone. She will then action the community nurses to call in the following week and take some blood for testing. I should get the results back the week after that. This is what the NHS in the UK is like now. The opportunity here is to practice calm and patience and deal with what has to be dealt with at the time and not future-trip.
I am right with you in the frustration of the medical system. Patience is in order. We can only do what we can do and then trust. This is not easy for me.
Our current challenge is the fact that we became a one car family about a month ago. Each of us has always had our own car for nearly our entire lives. We are privileged!
We’d already discussed paring down to one in the very recent past, and how that could change things or not. After four weeks, and a couple of ride share efforts, so far so good. And we are saving a few bucks for some travel for next year.
We both are volunteers that do require some transportation locally, but we think we are up to the challenge.
Dare I say congratulations? I’m also in a one-car family. We made the decision because we both bike for the majority of local transportation. We then moved to a town that has fare-free transit, which makes it even easier. I got an e-bike that’s a huge help with the longer trips or those when I need to haul a bit more stuff.
This has also reinforced the importance of a network of good friends I could call in an emergency if my husband were gone with the car and I really needed something. Fortunately one of my best friends lives about 1.5 miles away and teleworks same as I do so we can be available for each other, and I have a couple of other people I could call in a pinch. We need to weave that social fabric together for mutual aid.
This is a big step. We are still discerning.
About the only challenge, real or imagined, in my little world right now is to bale my last cuttings of hay. We have received 0.65″ of rain in three events. When the hay dries out, I will pounce on the opportunity to finish the hay harvest. Sometimes moisture can be a mixed blessing, but it is the giver of life, so I never begrudge it.
I grew up in farm country so I have to ask, Joseph–round bales or square?
I suppose I should have said oblong or rectangular, to be more accurate. Just comparing their general shapes in my mind. I still remember being amazed the first time I saw round bales!
Small squares as opposed to big squares, and they all are rectangular Barb. Kinda like seeing the sun set instead of the earth rotating!
“One step at a time” comes to mind.