Believe in your self, you are smart, beautiful inside and out. Although quiet and shy you will overcome those things with time.
You are lovable! Seek guidance from trusted elders to help show you the path of life. You are enough. Continue having faith in God.
I could write a book to address the number of things I found hard to learn! That said, the power and importance of presence…the Isness of God…I do not have to be worthy to be of worth….live your questions…What do you know for sure anyway?..Don’t turn a situation into a problem.
You believe others underestimate you, but you underestimate your self – your power in community, in your relationships, family, work … You are special.
I would tell my younger self to always be true to You. Do not hide who you truly are. Do not be ashamed of who you are & where you came from. Do not be afraid to speak your truth.
Embrace who you are because you are very special. Love yourself. Believe in You.✨❤️
PKR, your answer reminds me of Paw Mu when I had a longer answer from last Friday about someone who helps me stay grounded and my comments from Joseph’s answer a couple days ago and Iamme this morning. She’s a typical Traditional Asian tough lover for sure. One advice I received from her is that I need to learn to push others. what she really meant was to be more assertive. There’s that concept of convenience vs clarrity again from Suzuki zen. I’ve noticed my life becoming easier the more I embrace my roots and move closer to my culture. I feel a sense of protection with the people from my: family, culture, and elders I dubbed (The Paw Mu Formula) despite social incompatibilities.
I agree with all of it but especially the last part. Except that I would change it to your gut is always right. Every time I don’t listen to my gut I am sorry.
If I could offer my younger self a piece of advice, it would be, “don’t try to compare yourself to others.” Just celebrate their achievements and focus on what you’re doing. Don’t feel pity for yourself or be jealous of someone’s accomplishments.
My Ngoc. I’m all too familiar with how Asian cultures work. Family legacy is valued over individuality. Every Asian has been there done that at one point or another to a varying degree with myself included. For me, it helped to be able to establish an identity carving out my own path and blazing my own trail and to set goals greater than expectations. Coming from a leaniant family also helps too. It took a couple manic bipolar episode hospitalizations on my end with one being 2004 and one more in 2019 for everyone to reach a middle ground.
Our elders didn’t have the opportunities to improve in their home country. A lot is expected on us. It’s proven effective in creating successful responsible adults. There have been stories of many kids growing up becoming: engineers, doctors, and lawyers fulfilling the parents’ dreams and providing for them as they age as one way of showing grattitude for how the parents sacrificed for them. On the other hand, there’s also a growing number of special cases like me where the Traditional Asian model failed.
As a younger woman I was “too fat”, “not smart enough”, “not interesting”. I learned through the years…that none of that was true. If I could talk to my younger self; I would say. You are good, you are kind, and YOU can do it. All will be well…your life will be amazing.
Agree, Nannette. We’re good the way we are. People in our lives will tell us that we’re a certain way and want us to make changes for the better even out of goodwill. At the end of the day, we’re the ones who know ourselves the best. “Boring” is the label I resignate the most with from your post.
Charlie, I saw Michele’s post. Responding to you and her, I struggle with trust issues.
One saying I live by is “Intimacy is earned.” As someone who’s a cross between the Vietnamese and American cultures, old and new school, disabled and non-disabled, I’ve learned to be extra careful of who I welcome into my circle to protect myself from: conflict of interests, being taken advantage of, or steered in an undesirable direction even out of goodwill. Some of the drawbacks are that it’s harder to see the good in people and receive help, care, and love.
Finding this site has helped me feel comfortable. Therefore, I’ve noticed myself showing signs of opening up to others more. This is a process; not something that happens overnight. Like Sunnapatti said above, it’s important to be gentle with ourselves.
From my current perspective, I wouldn’t offer any wisdom to my younger self. Everything happens for a reason. “The best teacher in life is experience” LeBron James.
I saw some pictures of myself and remembered how I felt when I took them. I thought, “my nose is crooked” or “I am too fat”. It was an unhealthy internal dialogue. Now, I look back and think, “What was I thinking? These are great.” I operate from the perspective of “you know better, you do better,” instead of regret. With that in mind, I would lovingly encourage my younger self with a few chestnuts: prioritize spirituality, savor, slow down, and you are enough as you are. I cannot over-emphasize the need for genuine self-compassion.
Thanks once again, Avril. So often your words resonate with where I am & what I need to hear.
Today it is ” genuine self-compassion” as I face new limitations that come with aging & illness.
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Don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small stuff.
Don´t do the same mistake again and trust. All will be well.
Believe in your self, you are smart, beautiful inside and out. Although quiet and shy you will overcome those things with time.
You are lovable! Seek guidance from trusted elders to help show you the path of life. You are enough. Continue having faith in God.
You’re going to make it through this. You are worthy of love. 🩵
I could write a book to address the number of things I found hard to learn! That said, the power and importance of presence…the Isness of God…I do not have to be worthy to be of worth….live your questions…What do you know for sure anyway?..Don’t turn a situation into a problem.
You believe others underestimate you, but you underestimate your self – your power in community, in your relationships, family, work … You are special.
I would tell my younger self to always be true to You. Do not hide who you truly are. Do not be ashamed of who you are & where you came from. Do not be afraid to speak your truth.
Embrace who you are because you are very special. Love yourself. Believe in You.✨❤️
PKR, your answer reminds me of Paw Mu when I had a longer answer from last Friday about someone who helps me stay grounded and my comments from Joseph’s answer a couple days ago and Iamme this morning. She’s a typical Traditional Asian tough lover for sure. One advice I received from her is that I need to learn to push others. what she really meant was to be more assertive. There’s that concept of convenience vs clarrity again from Suzuki zen. I’ve noticed my life becoming easier the more I embrace my roots and move closer to my culture. I feel a sense of protection with the people from my: family, culture, and elders I dubbed (The Paw Mu Formula) despite social incompatibilities.
I love this 💓
Thank you for sharing, PKR.
Often said by others to my younger self: “You are a leader. Lead. Be kind, always. Listen well.” It has been a good pathway throughout my 70+ years.
Younger self…..
The acts of kindness you do are appreciated more than you know.
Your gentleness shines through.
Your gut reaction is usually correct.
I agree with all of it but especially the last part. Except that I would change it to your gut is always right. Every time I don’t listen to my gut I am sorry.
Dolores, I’m with you. Whenever I went against my gut, it backfired. I’ve heard the old saying “Stick with first choice” before.
If I could offer my younger self a piece of advice, it would be, “don’t try to compare yourself to others.” Just celebrate their achievements and focus on what you’re doing. Don’t feel pity for yourself or be jealous of someone’s accomplishments.
My Ngoc. I’m all too familiar with how Asian cultures work. Family legacy is valued over individuality. Every Asian has been there done that at one point or another to a varying degree with myself included. For me, it helped to be able to establish an identity carving out my own path and blazing my own trail and to set goals greater than expectations. Coming from a leaniant family also helps too. It took a couple manic bipolar episode hospitalizations on my end with one being 2004 and one more in 2019 for everyone to reach a middle ground.
Our elders didn’t have the opportunities to improve in their home country. A lot is expected on us. It’s proven effective in creating successful responsible adults. There have been stories of many kids growing up becoming: engineers, doctors, and lawyers fulfilling the parents’ dreams and providing for them as they age as one way of showing grattitude for how the parents sacrificed for them. On the other hand, there’s also a growing number of special cases like me where the Traditional Asian model failed.
As a younger woman I was “too fat”, “not smart enough”, “not interesting”. I learned through the years…that none of that was true. If I could talk to my younger self; I would say. You are good, you are kind, and YOU can do it. All will be well…your life will be amazing.
Agree, Nannette. We’re good the way we are. People in our lives will tell us that we’re a certain way and want us to make changes for the better even out of goodwill. At the end of the day, we’re the ones who know ourselves the best. “Boring” is the label I resignate the most with from your post.
Be gentle with yourself.
I would encourage my younger self to
be more open with those around me.
Charlie, I saw Michele’s post. Responding to you and her, I struggle with trust issues.
One saying I live by is “Intimacy is earned.” As someone who’s a cross between the Vietnamese and American cultures, old and new school, disabled and non-disabled, I’ve learned to be extra careful of who I welcome into my circle to protect myself from: conflict of interests, being taken advantage of, or steered in an undesirable direction even out of goodwill. Some of the drawbacks are that it’s harder to see the good in people and receive help, care, and love.
Finding this site has helped me feel comfortable. Therefore, I’ve noticed myself showing signs of opening up to others more. This is a process; not something that happens overnight. Like Sunnapatti said above, it’s important to be gentle with ourselves.
From my current perspective, I wouldn’t offer any wisdom to my younger self. Everything happens for a reason. “The best teacher in life is experience” LeBron James.
I saw some pictures of myself and remembered how I felt when I took them. I thought, “my nose is crooked” or “I am too fat”. It was an unhealthy internal dialogue. Now, I look back and think, “What was I thinking? These are great.” I operate from the perspective of “you know better, you do better,” instead of regret. With that in mind, I would lovingly encourage my younger self with a few chestnuts: prioritize spirituality, savor, slow down, and you are enough as you are. I cannot over-emphasize the need for genuine self-compassion.
Thanks once again, Avril. So often your words resonate with where I am & what I need to hear.
Today it is ” genuine self-compassion” as I face new limitations that come with aging & illness.
I appreciate you
May a healing wave come your way Josie.