What is ending in my life is a friend relationship as it was. My two friends are taking wobbly steps towards personal change to make their lives healthier, which means I do not see them right now. We infrequently text.. We consider each other family (including my husband). I miss them but know there is still love between us and hope their changes make our relationship stronger and healthier. I have much gratitude for having met them and for having many many years of fun and get togethers with them. I am also thankful they are taking this courageous step towards a healthier lifestyle. It is well needed. When I miss them I try to feel gratitude for all we have had together over the years and hope it gives me the patience needed to wait for them to emerge.
This moment is ending in my life right now, even before I finish answering this question. I will not have this moment again. I do not need to hold on to it, but I can observe it go by and bless the next person who will receive this moment to be at peace and not suffer. During this day, I reflected on the question as I watch moment passed by, what is ending in my life is the end of my professional daily work and the beginning of new discovery of my true me without the professional identity. I am decluttering and reframing material things, but also decluttering and reframing emotional, mental, and spiritual stuff as I meditate and contemplate one moment at a time during this year. I might hold these endings grateful with self compassion and love by embracing the divine in me to continue the work my Creator started and extend the gifts to those who needed these gift(s).
I love the way you are moving from professional life
to a life of discovering your true self.
The declutterring and reframing will serve you well
as will your level of consciousness as you make this transition.
Sending peace and love SR.
I’m really hoping that my negative self-take and how harsh I am on myself is ending. In the last year I’ve had multiple people from my therapist to my acupuncturist mention how harsh I am on myself. Was given a piece of advice this morning from a friend, who used to be a family and marriage therapist, that I should practice positive self-talk and compassion by actually using my name and not just saying “I can do this”. Being compassionate for myself seems hard but I’m working on it.
Amy: I would like to suggest a method that has helped me and others to see the impact of negative self talk. I told a friend to write down all the negative things she sees, feel, think …. about herself and take three of the things on her list, stand in front of a mirror and say those negative message slowly by saying it as if an acquaintance or friend is saying it to her using her name such as “s, you are ….” and ask if she will be a friend or acquaintance to the negative person. Then I told her to change the negative messages to a positive message and do the same thing and ask if she will be a friend or acquaintance to that positive person. This was not my idea, but my mother’s ideas to get us to stop negatively saying things about ourselves, but to look at our uniqueness and be grateful for our Creator’s design. When we were young, we had small hand mirrors to do our reframing to change our negative self talks but also be grateful for that gift. I do this still when I need a change in attitude such when I recognize that I have being saying “I can’t” to myself a lot. To end this, I go to the mirror to see myself saying it, and it helps me identify where this negativity is coming from but also help me change to positive answers with conditions to make it possible if necessary. Hope I have not crossed your boundaries, but if it feels like please forgive me, I only intend to share what has helped me and few of my friends.
No longer living in southern RI. I lived in that area for 25 years. I know I need to embrace change and there are so many reasons why the move is a good decision. However I will miss it!
What is ending in my life right now? How might I hold it with compassion?
. . . my youth,
long overdue,
perhaps,
at almost 76 years of age.
I had few medical or physical issues
earlier in my life,
and then suddenly,
in the last couple of years,
a mountain of tests and diagnoses accosted me,
one after the other . . .
a tooth that had to come out,
and it wasn’t in the back,
carcinoma on my nose,
suspicious lesions near my ovaries,
a spot on my breast,
a diagnosis of glaucoma,
a gall bladder related digestive,
and very debilitating issue,
topped by an arthritic back,
with x-rays, CAT scans, and MRI’s . . .
and a hip that scraping,
bone on bone.
It all was a whirlwind
and threw me for a loop.
I had my hip replaced a year ago,
November,
did six weeks of physical therapy,
dumping the walker,
dumping the cane,
getting back to planet fitness . . .
and getting myself back to some sense of normalcy.
Now I have to take the rest of it
day by day,
getting more tests,
a shot to the small of my back,
taking my eye drops every morning,
powders and pills for the digestive thing . . .
one thing at a time,
just putting my nose to the grindstone
and doing it.
Up until all of this descended upon me,
I was doing deep, heavy gardening,
moving mulch and top soil like a pro,
spending hours planting and transplanting
and tending to gardens I have scattered all over my property,
climbing ladders . .
painting and caulking both inside and out,
all with the spirit and energy I’ve had my whole life.
Having to slow down
has been a big blow,
and I have lost a significant amount of confidence.
So rather than berating myself for getting old,
have been trying to hold it all with compassion
instead of shame.
I do this
by stopping the hard things
when I’ve done too much . . .
I rest when I need to without apology,
and forgiving myself
when I can’t do all I want to in a day.
But one of the gifts of this letting go
has opened up space for me to be more grateful,
and to pay attention to the ‘little’ things,
the small wonders I might have missed before.
I accept that my youthful spirit and energy
is flagging,
but there are moments
when I also see that she is just resting,
and in time,
I will feel as bright and shiny as I did
when I was a girl
with love . . . ♥
Sparrow, I can feel your spirit and energy in your words. What an onslaught you have experienced. Your words remind me of a good friend of mine, who is 75 and has had severe arthritis in his neck for at least a decade, among a few other health issues. The pain knocks him off his feet sometimes, but he has mastered the art and craft of slowing down. He barely drives anymore and is very local. He works hard every day to calibrate his body. And he’s one of the most interesting, fresh, and youthful-at-heart people I know. It’s an inner youth … I sense the same in your words.
“an inner youth” …. what a lovely concept to hold as we move thru our days, balancing the aging process with the knowledge that we are blessed to get to do it!!!!!!!!! I will use that idea – “an inner youth” ….and we carry on! And thank you to Sparrow for the musings.
Yes, Sparrow letting go is a healing process of our desire to be perfect and keeping up at the same rate as when we were younger. We can still do things physically, but we must compensate with what our physical body is saying to us, and it might vary from moment to moment. We are still young physically, but we are stronger in other areas. Hurray to you to keep doing your best under your situation. I am blessed by your sharing. Take breaks …. “Perfectionism,” said Hugh Prather, “is slow death.” Relax. Just give yourself a break. Remember, life is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be perfectly capable of challenging us to be everything we are meant to be. You are living the life you are meant to be and be the teacher to the unsuspected students on your daily path. Thanks.
I can so relate. Even though I’m in my late 50s, I’ve had a lot of diagnoses and issues in the last couple years and it has really thrown me for a loop.
My willingness to say yes to something I don’t really want to do just to please someone because they’re going to guilt trip me or act like they know better but buddy you better point the finger at someone else
I can calm down and not lose my temper out of compassion unless I do because I might very well as I’m a loose cannon
What is ending in life?
Staying stuck in my head.
I’m becoming much more conscious
of the present moment.
I’d like to devote the upcoming year, however,
to letting go of that very critical voice in my head
that would rule my life,
and sometimes does,
if I would allow it.
I hold it in compassion now,
because I know that it came from
never wanting to never make a mistake,
so that I might be acceptable and loved.
Sending love and compassion to the fearful child within,
dressed as a tyrant,
who only wants love.
May my need to never make mistakes
dissolve into an ever softening voice from my past.
Sending love to myself
and to all.
♥️
There’s been so much upheaval in my family in the past three years. That upheaval has broken what used to be pillars of my identity, and I’m still working with the aftermath of several endings in a short time frame. The collapse of those pillars has dovetailed into the collapses within US society, so it feels as though I’m paddling on undercurrents and cross-currents of change and transition. I hold this with compassion by taking time to process things as they arise. I might expand my compassion by slowing down, reminding myself that I’m choosing to stay mindful during a deeply wounded time, and just being patient with myself.
Sometimes I feel the same way,
dear Drea,
especially regarding what’s happening in our country
(and in others as well) . . .
I feel differently now
when I go out into the world,
wondering how this has happened
under our very noses.
I try to be at peace . . .
I try to understand the pain and fear that is operating these changes . . .
I try and forgive.
Julian of Norwich
reminds me over and over again
that all is well,
and all things shall be well”
with love . . .♥
That’s a lot to deal with Drea.
I’m sorry for all you’ve been through
and what you still must be dealing with.
I love that you are you expanding
your compassion to yourself!
I’m wishing you love, joy, and relief
from distressing events.
♥️♥️♥️
What is ending in my life right now is my expectations of my 2 adult children and how we will be in relationship. The last two years have been quite painful. I choose to honor my needs and to let go of being right. I let go of these relationships with love. I ask my loving Father in heaven to take the wheel. Jesus you are my Good Shepherd, shepherd all of my relationships. I am grateful for the past, I am grateful for the opportunity to stand on my own two feet. I am grateful each day is an opportunity to begin again. May my attention today be on gratitude for the precious, present moment. Amen.
I work in the public sector and that’s the source of my answer. I face three endings that are also beginnings, as all endings truly are: change of president, governor of my state, and head of the agency I work for. Each of these holds different possibilities, some of them deeply frightening and others simply the unknown. This question is a good reminder to enter the unknown future with compassion for myself and for those around me as we all do the best we can. Fear and anxiety won’t change what’s coming; they’ll just make it harder to stay resilient.
Lauren, I’m sending you appreciation for the good and hard work you do.
Please take care of yourself as things evolve.
You are not alone.
I stand with you as do so many others here.
Sending love
♥️♥️♥️
Barb and Lauryn, I wish you strength, resilience, support, protection, and opportunity to do good and valid and demanding and honorable work. Thank you for doing the work.
Thank you for doing that essential and difficult work, Lauryn. Like so many people I have a family member who immigrated to this country. I donate to the NW Immigrant Rights Project and have a friend, a former law professor, who works with another immigrant support organization. I’m glad people care and take action. Immigrants are our friends, family, and ancestors for some of us.
I’ve been through many endings in my life.
I have shed my skin and lived a few lives.
Embracing impermanence helps me live in this world. It’s never easy for me, but maybe I’m getting better at this. Treating my past with compassion, is something I definitely need to work on.
Charlie, I also would like to treat myself with more kindness
around past actions and decisions.
Hindsight really is 20/20, isn’t it?
I think we owe ourselves some grace.
May we all be blessed.
I wonder if a strong attachment to expectations may be gradually softening and letting go for me. … not exactly, “ending”, but lessening its grip on my thinking. I can hope/wonder/guess how some plan may turn out, and simultaneously factor in the fact that I really can’t know and will just have to see and be interested in finding out its outcome; and then doing the best I can being grateful from there. Hopefully, the “ending” will be the ending of wasting precious energy in being sad or disappointed. No need to create a false sense of loss out of mere habit! Let’s get over that one, Carol Ann!!!
Such wise words, Carol Ann. They remind me a bit of a book I’m reading right now a chapter a day, Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts, by Oliver Burkeman (author of Four Thousand Weeks, which was also really good). He points out that we’re inevitably imperfect, we’ll never do everything, there is no state of “done” in a human life, and once we set down those expectations we can live the life we’re actually living.
Hi,Barb! thank you – I just heard Oliver B discussing this in dialogue on a podcast this week. timely thoughts; weaving together nicely with Grateful Living. I’m giving his input some pondering. fun to share that connection with you here. thank you – and good luck in the transitions and demands ahead for you in your career.
At my age, many things are and have ended. As YRAM says, non-resistance/acceptance is the key. I love today’s quote. It is a reminder for me that Life is trustworthy and will always show me a way if I let it!
“Our inner wisdom is persistent, but quiet. It will always whisper, but it will never stop knocking at your door.”Vironika Tugaleva
Some relationships are changing their format. I will hold “the what was” in gratitude and embrace the new with anticipation.
Endings and beginnings seem to be the flow of life. I can hold them with compassion by not resisting the change.
Hmm… what is ending? I think limiting thoughts I’ve had are fading away, and that’s a good thing. With my beliefs and study of the sutras, I try to hold all things with compassion, even the things that I’m grateful to let go of.
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What is ending in my life is a friend relationship as it was. My two friends are taking wobbly steps towards personal change to make their lives healthier, which means I do not see them right now. We infrequently text.. We consider each other family (including my husband). I miss them but know there is still love between us and hope their changes make our relationship stronger and healthier. I have much gratitude for having met them and for having many many years of fun and get togethers with them. I am also thankful they are taking this courageous step towards a healthier lifestyle. It is well needed. When I miss them I try to feel gratitude for all we have had together over the years and hope it gives me the patience needed to wait for them to emerge.
This moment is ending in my life right now, even before I finish answering this question. I will not have this moment again. I do not need to hold on to it, but I can observe it go by and bless the next person who will receive this moment to be at peace and not suffer. During this day, I reflected on the question as I watch moment passed by, what is ending in my life is the end of my professional daily work and the beginning of new discovery of my true me without the professional identity. I am decluttering and reframing material things, but also decluttering and reframing emotional, mental, and spiritual stuff as I meditate and contemplate one moment at a time during this year. I might hold these endings grateful with self compassion and love by embracing the divine in me to continue the work my Creator started and extend the gifts to those who needed these gift(s).
I love the way you are moving from professional life
to a life of discovering your true self.
The declutterring and reframing will serve you well
as will your level of consciousness as you make this transition.
Sending peace and love SR.
I’m really hoping that my negative self-take and how harsh I am on myself is ending. In the last year I’ve had multiple people from my therapist to my acupuncturist mention how harsh I am on myself. Was given a piece of advice this morning from a friend, who used to be a family and marriage therapist, that I should practice positive self-talk and compassion by actually using my name and not just saying “I can do this”. Being compassionate for myself seems hard but I’m working on it.
You can do this,
dear Amy
with love…♥
Amy: I would like to suggest a method that has helped me and others to see the impact of negative self talk. I told a friend to write down all the negative things she sees, feel, think …. about herself and take three of the things on her list, stand in front of a mirror and say those negative message slowly by saying it as if an acquaintance or friend is saying it to her using her name such as “s, you are ….” and ask if she will be a friend or acquaintance to the negative person. Then I told her to change the negative messages to a positive message and do the same thing and ask if she will be a friend or acquaintance to that positive person. This was not my idea, but my mother’s ideas to get us to stop negatively saying things about ourselves, but to look at our uniqueness and be grateful for our Creator’s design. When we were young, we had small hand mirrors to do our reframing to change our negative self talks but also be grateful for that gift. I do this still when I need a change in attitude such when I recognize that I have being saying “I can’t” to myself a lot. To end this, I go to the mirror to see myself saying it, and it helps me identify where this negativity is coming from but also help me change to positive answers with conditions to make it possible if necessary. Hope I have not crossed your boundaries, but if it feels like please forgive me, I only intend to share what has helped me and few of my friends.
S R,
Thanks for sharing this. I will try this.
Wow. Thank you for sharing this. I struggle a lot with negative self talk. I will definitely try this method.
No longer living in southern RI. I lived in that area for 25 years. I know I need to embrace change and there are so many reasons why the move is a good decision. However I will miss it!
I understand. I hope you meet some interesting folks and make lasting friendships in your new surroundings.
What is ending in my life right now? How might I hold it with compassion?
. . . my youth,
long overdue,
perhaps,
at almost 76 years of age.
I had few medical or physical issues
earlier in my life,
and then suddenly,
in the last couple of years,
a mountain of tests and diagnoses accosted me,
one after the other . . .
a tooth that had to come out,
and it wasn’t in the back,
carcinoma on my nose,
suspicious lesions near my ovaries,
a spot on my breast,
a diagnosis of glaucoma,
a gall bladder related digestive,
and very debilitating issue,
topped by an arthritic back,
with x-rays, CAT scans, and MRI’s . . .
and a hip that scraping,
bone on bone.
It all was a whirlwind
and threw me for a loop.
I had my hip replaced a year ago,
November,
did six weeks of physical therapy,
dumping the walker,
dumping the cane,
getting back to planet fitness . . .
and getting myself back to some sense of normalcy.
Now I have to take the rest of it
day by day,
getting more tests,
a shot to the small of my back,
taking my eye drops every morning,
powders and pills for the digestive thing . . .
one thing at a time,
just putting my nose to the grindstone
and doing it.
Up until all of this descended upon me,
I was doing deep, heavy gardening,
moving mulch and top soil like a pro,
spending hours planting and transplanting
and tending to gardens I have scattered all over my property,
climbing ladders . .
painting and caulking both inside and out,
all with the spirit and energy I’ve had my whole life.
Having to slow down
has been a big blow,
and I have lost a significant amount of confidence.
So rather than berating myself for getting old,
have been trying to hold it all with compassion
instead of shame.
I do this
by stopping the hard things
when I’ve done too much . . .
I rest when I need to without apology,
and forgiving myself
when I can’t do all I want to in a day.
But one of the gifts of this letting go
has opened up space for me to be more grateful,
and to pay attention to the ‘little’ things,
the small wonders I might have missed before.
I accept that my youthful spirit and energy
is flagging,
but there are moments
when I also see that she is just resting,
and in time,
I will feel as bright and shiny as I did
when I was a girl
with love . . . ♥
Beautifully expressed and important reminders for me at age 62 to be kind to and with my changing self.
At 62,
dear Barb,
you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! 🙂
Thank you all
for your kind and wise replies…
I take them to heart
and feel your support
with love…♥
Sparrow, I can feel your spirit and energy in your words. What an onslaught you have experienced. Your words remind me of a good friend of mine, who is 75 and has had severe arthritis in his neck for at least a decade, among a few other health issues. The pain knocks him off his feet sometimes, but he has mastered the art and craft of slowing down. He barely drives anymore and is very local. He works hard every day to calibrate his body. And he’s one of the most interesting, fresh, and youthful-at-heart people I know. It’s an inner youth … I sense the same in your words.
“an inner youth” …. what a lovely concept to hold as we move thru our days, balancing the aging process with the knowledge that we are blessed to get to do it!!!!!!!!! I will use that idea – “an inner youth” ….and we carry on! And thank you to Sparrow for the musings.
Yes, Sparrow letting go is a healing process of our desire to be perfect and keeping up at the same rate as when we were younger. We can still do things physically, but we must compensate with what our physical body is saying to us, and it might vary from moment to moment. We are still young physically, but we are stronger in other areas. Hurray to you to keep doing your best under your situation. I am blessed by your sharing. Take breaks …. “Perfectionism,” said Hugh Prather, “is slow death.” Relax. Just give yourself a break. Remember, life is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be perfectly capable of challenging us to be everything we are meant to be. You are living the life you are meant to be and be the teacher to the unsuspected students on your daily path. Thanks.
I can so relate. Even though I’m in my late 50s, I’ve had a lot of diagnoses and issues in the last couple years and it has really thrown me for a loop.
Of dear Sparrow……………I wish you enough.
Thank you,
dear Joseph . . .
don’t worry . . .
I have enough.
I’ve had enough for awhile now.
It was all just a blow to my young heart. ♥
My willingness to say yes to something I don’t really want to do just to please someone because they’re going to guilt trip me or act like they know better but buddy you better point the finger at someone else
I can calm down and not lose my temper out of compassion unless I do because I might very well as I’m a loose cannon
What is ending in life?
Staying stuck in my head.
I’m becoming much more conscious
of the present moment.
I’d like to devote the upcoming year, however,
to letting go of that very critical voice in my head
that would rule my life,
and sometimes does,
if I would allow it.
I hold it in compassion now,
because I know that it came from
never wanting to never make a mistake,
so that I might be acceptable and loved.
Sending love and compassion to the fearful child within,
dressed as a tyrant,
who only wants love.
May my need to never make mistakes
dissolve into an ever softening voice from my past.
Sending love to myself
and to all.
♥️
Mary,
I SO relate to your words!
Thank you Amy.
I feel validated and reassured by your words.
It reminds me that I am not alone.
♥️
There’s been so much upheaval in my family in the past three years. That upheaval has broken what used to be pillars of my identity, and I’m still working with the aftermath of several endings in a short time frame. The collapse of those pillars has dovetailed into the collapses within US society, so it feels as though I’m paddling on undercurrents and cross-currents of change and transition. I hold this with compassion by taking time to process things as they arise. I might expand my compassion by slowing down, reminding myself that I’m choosing to stay mindful during a deeply wounded time, and just being patient with myself.
Sometimes I feel the same way,
dear Drea,
especially regarding what’s happening in our country
(and in others as well) . . .
I feel differently now
when I go out into the world,
wondering how this has happened
under our very noses.
I try to be at peace . . .
I try to understand the pain and fear that is operating these changes . . .
I try and forgive.
Julian of Norwich
reminds me over and over again
that all is well,
and all things shall be well”
with love . . .♥
Thank you, dear Sparrow.
That’s a lot to deal with Drea.
I’m sorry for all you’ve been through
and what you still must be dealing with.
I love that you are you expanding
your compassion to yourself!
I’m wishing you love, joy, and relief
from distressing events.
♥️♥️♥️
Thank you so much, Mary.
What is ending in my life right now is my expectations of my 2 adult children and how we will be in relationship. The last two years have been quite painful. I choose to honor my needs and to let go of being right. I let go of these relationships with love. I ask my loving Father in heaven to take the wheel. Jesus you are my Good Shepherd, shepherd all of my relationships. I am grateful for the past, I am grateful for the opportunity to stand on my own two feet. I am grateful each day is an opportunity to begin again. May my attention today be on gratitude for the precious, present moment. Amen.
I love Jesus and Heavenly Father!
I work in the public sector and that’s the source of my answer. I face three endings that are also beginnings, as all endings truly are: change of president, governor of my state, and head of the agency I work for. Each of these holds different possibilities, some of them deeply frightening and others simply the unknown. This question is a good reminder to enter the unknown future with compassion for myself and for those around me as we all do the best we can. Fear and anxiety won’t change what’s coming; they’ll just make it harder to stay resilient.
“Compassion for yourself and those around you”
Yes, Barb! So wise. Thank you.
Sending love. ♥️
Barb, wishing you strength and flexibility during this transition.
Thank you!
As I work in immigration law, change of president is definitely an ending that is going to greatly affect the the work I do each day.
Lauren, I’m sending you appreciation for the good and hard work you do.
Please take care of yourself as things evolve.
You are not alone.
I stand with you as do so many others here.
Sending love
♥️♥️♥️
Barb and Lauryn, I wish you strength, resilience, support, protection, and opportunity to do good and valid and demanding and honorable work. Thank you for doing the work.
Thank you for doing that essential and difficult work, Lauryn. Like so many people I have a family member who immigrated to this country. I donate to the NW Immigrant Rights Project and have a friend, a former law professor, who works with another immigrant support organization. I’m glad people care and take action. Immigrants are our friends, family, and ancestors for some of us.
I’ve been through many endings in my life.
I have shed my skin and lived a few lives.
Embracing impermanence helps me live in this world. It’s never easy for me, but maybe I’m getting better at this. Treating my past with compassion, is something I definitely need to work on.
Charlie, I also would like to treat myself with more kindness
around past actions and decisions.
Hindsight really is 20/20, isn’t it?
I think we owe ourselves some grace.
May we all be blessed.
I wonder if a strong attachment to expectations may be gradually softening and letting go for me. … not exactly, “ending”, but lessening its grip on my thinking. I can hope/wonder/guess how some plan may turn out, and simultaneously factor in the fact that I really can’t know and will just have to see and be interested in finding out its outcome; and then doing the best I can being grateful from there. Hopefully, the “ending” will be the ending of wasting precious energy in being sad or disappointed. No need to create a false sense of loss out of mere habit! Let’s get over that one, Carol Ann!!!
Such wise words, Carol Ann. They remind me a bit of a book I’m reading right now a chapter a day, Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts, by Oliver Burkeman (author of Four Thousand Weeks, which was also really good). He points out that we’re inevitably imperfect, we’ll never do everything, there is no state of “done” in a human life, and once we set down those expectations we can live the life we’re actually living.
Hi,Barb! thank you – I just heard Oliver B discussing this in dialogue on a podcast this week. timely thoughts; weaving together nicely with Grateful Living. I’m giving his input some pondering. fun to share that connection with you here. thank you – and good luck in the transitions and demands ahead for you in your career.
At my age, many things are and have ended. As YRAM says, non-resistance/acceptance is the key. I love today’s quote. It is a reminder for me that Life is trustworthy and will always show me a way if I let it!
“Our inner wisdom is persistent, but quiet. It will always whisper, but it will never stop knocking at your door.”Vironika Tugaleva
Some relationships are changing their format. I will hold “the what was” in gratitude and embrace the new with anticipation.
Endings and beginnings seem to be the flow of life. I can hold them with compassion by not resisting the change.
I like the perspective of relationships changing their format. Also of endings and beginnings being the flow of life. Thanks YRAM.
Hmm… what is ending? I think limiting thoughts I’ve had are fading away, and that’s a good thing. With my beliefs and study of the sutras, I try to hold all things with compassion, even the things that I’m grateful to let go of.