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What is ending , some desirable- happy and expectations of the outcomes of change; some undesirable – grieving the loss . What is beginning- again some desirable and some undesirable. This leads to what is continuing and again some desirable and some undesirable. I need to reflect further.
Not yet completely ended–something I’m trying to end through awareness of reflexive thoughts: the deeply rooted and societally created idea that my body or any body is supposed to look a certain way to be appreciated. I can have love and compassion for my younger self, who thought this mattered so much and went through contortions of food control. I can have love and compassion for my current self, who looks in the mirror and thinks pointless negative thoughts. Definitely pointless to mourn the abs of youth I had before multiple pregnancies, and what would I do with them now anyway? How would they add real value to my life? I don’t need to “should” on myself over these thoughts; simply acknowledge and set them down with love and compassion.
“Definitely pointless to mourn the abs of youth I had before multiple pregnancies, and what would I do with them now anyway?”
I love this–what would I do with them now anyway? Such a great line–and a good question to ask ourselves as we gaze into the mirror.
Thank you for this!
Possibly my son and his Fiance’s relationship. They have been together for 7 years and we own a beautiful home together with my own private in-law apartment attached. It has only been 2 weeks since it was talked about and they are now living in different rooms. They are still best friends but it has been a rollercoaster for the past 2 weeks mostly ok so far. She feels she isn’t the right girl for my son, they are opposites. Plus she decided a year ago she doesn’t really want children.. Time will tell what happens but I was extremely sadden by the news because she has been like a 2nd daughter to me. Thankfully they are both getting therapy now.
Sorry to hear this. It must be so difficult to be there for your son and also deal with your own feelings about your living situation and the possibility of changes and challenges ahead. Love and compassion to you and to them, indeed.
Thank you Barb : )
I don´t know. If it is about dear ones who might want to leave from my life, they probably have to leave for one or another reason and might even don´t want to speak about, leaving without a word and without a trace? I don´t know. While knowing for sure that there is nothing to do about but to accept it, and while in the same time it is hurting tremendously, acceptance and my loving heart will always be with them. It simply cannot not love them, so in this case, I wish them all the best on their holy path, and may they be blessed forever. From my heart, thank you for all which was given to me and for all we shared. May all good winds be with you, my dear ones.
Our wonderful grandson is moving back to NYC this summer. He is a filmmaker and is following his dreams in NYC. We have had the immense pleasure of having him here for the past two years and have enjoyed every moment we spent with him. He is an amazing young man, one of my personal heroes for having survived a very difficult childhood and becoming a kind and loving adult.
While it is an ending of sorts, we look forward to watching him thrive back in the city he loves. He is already a success at 25 years old, and his success will only grow as he lives and works among his peers.
Many things and people have left my life,
and I try to mourn them and give them the
proper amount of attention.
But at this moment, I am attempting to
practice non attachment and let things
come and go with love and appreciation.
Of course this is easier said than done.
I still find myself experiencing anger,
bitterness, sorrow, and fear over things
that have happened many years ago.
Holding these experiences with love and
appreciation is the challenge.
I’m sure many o you have read this before,
but I find this story to be helpful.
A senior monk and a junior monk
were traveling together. At one point,
they came to a river with a strong current.
As the monks were preparing to cross the
river, they saw a very young and beautiful
woman also attempting to cross.
The young woman asked if they could help
her cross to the other side.
The two monks glanced at one another,
because they had taken vows not to
touch a woman.Then, without a word,
the older monk picked up the woman,
carried her across the river,
placed her gently on the other side,
and carried on his journey.
The younger monk couldn’t believe what
had just happened. After rejoining his
companion, he was speechless, and an
hour passed without a word between them.
Two more hours passed, then three,
finally the younger monk could contain
himself any longer, and blurted out
“As monks, we are not permitted to touch
a woman, how could you then carry that
woman on your shoulders?”
The older monk looked at him and replied,
“Brother, I set her down on the other side
of the river, why are you still carrying her?”
Thank you for sharing the monk story, so true!
I had not read that story Charlie T. Thanks for a good lesson.
Having the gift of years, I am grateful for the end of my 60’s this year ~ and promise of deeper health, love within our family that is growing richer and wider. I am saddened by the death of family and friends, and yet, there is a joy in those who did not suffer but quietly continued their journeys.
Honestly, when I read the question today, I sighed. When you are in the winter of life, your body reminds you of all the ways you failed to take care of it. Oh, how I wish I had held it with love and compassion instead of demanding it carry the unfair burden of my egoic mind. I wrote this short poem in 2016:
From whence comes the pain? by Carol Ann Conner
The latest medical science says,
“Pain is just a thought.”
My mind is racing.
I breathe in.
I breathe out.
My skeleton snaps.
My body screams,
My frustration with it builds.
A fountain of feelings arise
but instead of compassion,
I scold my body
and allow my fear-driven
feelings to claim
a slice of my soul.
I pondered today’s question on my morning walk. I no longer walk gracefully. I no longer walk without discomfort but my body encourages me to walk on. I know the exercise is good for both mind and body. They are both in much greater harmony with my soul, my spirit, these days because I allow my body to share in my decisions and give thanks for the care it still does its best to give me. It teaches me the power of love and compassion daily.
My eyes and to be able to close my eyelids and see the Lord wondering why the Creator cursed us to have eyelids, as for me I’m not able to see the Lord in my heart constantly 24/7.
But, when I close my eyes to go to sleep I look forward to splashing my eyes with cold water and refreshing my self after deep slumber and rise up again how to leave comfortable bed, and bow down to His lotus feet and gradually moving up my eyes to his feet, thighs, chest and finally is smiling face begin a new day. Have a nice day everyone ☺️
The nice warm sunny weather we had yesterday has ended for now. I will hold this day in love for what it brings or doesn’t.
I am not aware of anything ending in my life right now…the thought is quite distressing! I know change is inevitable…but I pray that change is slow- so I can accept it more readily. I am changing, getting older…and maybe that is what I am losing…parts of my life. As the years move on- we learn we cannot do the things we did at another time. Gardening is getting harder for me- but I am still able to do it. I can no longer put in long days working all day…I have to stop and rest for a bit at times. The other day, I vacuumed and washed all the floors in my downstairs …I was pooped that night! Our time here is short and I have lost many but for today; I am grateful for those in my life now…one day at a time.
My dog, Clancy goes to the vet today. Last November – we were told he had four months to live. Each day we have is a gift. He still seems good…takes more naps, not as energetic…just like his Mom…so praying that his loss is still a long time away. I am also very grateful each and every day for all of you.
Give Clancy a a good ole belly scratch for me Nannette!
The only thing I am aware of that is ending right now is my breath. As each one begins it surely ends. The impermanence of this world will touch all beings. Even the soil that grows life sustaining food for all beings was once a rock, eroded my time and water, washed down by rivers and glaciers. All will end. That is why it is good to enjoy the now, this day I have been given, Today.
The school year is ending, but I hold this past year with sweet memories of kindness and compassion, tears and sadness, joy and wonder, along with multiple challenges. We made it….now on to summer break!!!
Today’s question, as the saying goes, felt like it hit me between the eyes.
For nearly three decades I have provided pastoral care every August at an annual week-long, residential gathering of Quakers in New England. Primarily, due to realities of having been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis last fall, and the resulting pain and reduced mobility in am living with these days, I know that, physically, I can no longer function in ways that I feel are necessary to fulfill my role, nor do I have the stamina for the long hours and long stretches of sitting with people as called upon.
I remain ever grateful for the many years of trust placed in me by members of my faith community. I am grieving this loss already, and deeply, and therefore miles away from being able to “hold it with love and compassion.” That moment will come down the road, I trust.
You grace the community here with your presence and words of wisdom and humor. Your ministry is taking on a new look. Blessings!
I am thinking of how very Blessed your faith community has been to have you for almost three decades answering the pastoral call for guidance – and how Blessed you have been to be there. As we know all good things must come to an end…but often another “door opens”. You will be called to pastor in another way; I am sure of it. You are a wise and faith filled man and people will find a way to come to you for your guidance. Your journey is just on another path now. However; that does not mean that giving up this part of your life is easy. Wishing you peace, Kevin during this time of transition. May the Holy Spirit Bless You.
Once again today, Kevin, your journey mirrors mine so closely. Your sharing encourages me to continue to grieve my losses today. I do so in prayerful solidarity with you, as promised yesterday. 🙏
Loving kindness and peace to you and yours Kevin.
Thank you, Joseph. My best to you as well.
Bless you Kevin, as you deal with your health issues and this transitional phase in your life. I am sure you will continue to be a blessing to everyone whose life you touch. May your day be graced with peace. 🕊🙏
Thank you, Sheila, for your kind words here.
I know Kevin that you are the type of person that I would like to see in heaven and that rhymes. Peas and hominy
It’s funny that you say that, my friend. Years ago while running a teen support group the kids used to playfully call me, “Kevin from heaven,” as they walked in to our meetings. A bit embarrassing for sure, but fun.
I have been reminding myself to treasure what is here right now. Bella, my dog is an absolute joy in my life. But I know that at some point in the not-too-distant future she will leave just due to the lesser life-span dogs have (all things being equal). Whilst that ending has not come yet, one day it will. The gratitude of her presence and living joyously each moment I am with her adds a richness and depth to our limited time together.
Don, that is wonderful you are treasuring your time with Bella. Dogs and other pets are therapy and they take hold of your heart. May you continue to enjoy and treasure each moment with Bella. Have a blessed day, Don.
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