When I was a little girl
I enjoyed my happy moments
and was grateful for them . . .
my mother holding me in her lap in front of the oven,
brushing my hair dry after a bath,
squatting in a creek,
catching a very slippery frog,
hand over hand
until he jumped out the top and swam away,
lying in bed with my grandmother
while she regaled me with stories of her own childhood . . .
the first time I rode my two-wheeler bicycle.
I saw
and still see those moments as gifts
because they were fun
and joyful.
It took me awhile
to appreciate the unwanted moments . . .
when my father spanked me,
pants down,
when I was too old to be spanked
(he never did it again),
when my first son died suddenly
and with no warning,
I thought I might die with him,
the moment I woke up from a drug overdose
and realized,
looking up at the faces around me,
what had happened . . .
the time a man ‘rescued’ me from an abusive boyfriend
only to rape me in his car.
There were important lessons in all of these moments,
but it took me years to find the blessings.
If I had never had trouble in my life
I never would have grown strong and sturdy.
I never would have found the courage to live.
What Ngoc wrote this morning
really struck me,
and what she said
removed a kink in the road of Gratitude and Presence in my heart.
”Unwanted moments are gifts of life lessons, and desirable moments are gifts of joy”
Well said,
Ngoc,
and thank you
from the bottom of my heart. ♥
Hard and incredibly painful moments bring the gift of courage — this is good to remember. I’m glad you got through such challenges and have come out with beauty and grace.
I really had to contemplate this question. The situation with my loved one with terminal cancer is hard. She is alone and needs hospice and better pain meds, but that hasn’t been arranged yet and it’s a weekend. There are documents to be filled out and she’s having trouble with cognition. I thought she might die last night; today I fly out to visit her.
The situation brings up anxiety/fear, helplessness, frustration (why isn’t this situation under control?), desperation, sorrow, frozen memories from the past, and who knows what else. So every moment as a gift is … every moment as an opportunity to fully feel whatever is up, name it, let it move within my body, and practice surrender, self-compassion, radical acceptance, gratefulness, patience. I think there is a Zen story that refers to this as “yoking the oxen” of the mind/body. Steering the ox. Something like that.
So OK, at first I thought this question was urging a positive response, a “you should be grateful.” Well, no. But I should see that every moment has its opportunity. I have many opportunities to practice in this difficult situation.
Awhile back the quote of the day by Alex Elle was I am thankful for my struggle because without it, I would not have stumbled upon my strength.
I see your strength as your compassion. Hold it tenderly..
Yes,
dear Drea . . .
you honor the dying by being present to your dear friend,
and by taking care of yourself,
you honor the living as well.
Peace to you both
as you take this sacred journey together . . .
my heart is with you. ♥
Thinking of you at such a difficult time, Drea. I’ve said before here that the hard times I might have wanted to skip over, given the choice, have gone into making me who I am. Couldn’t be here wiithout them. The hard times have taught me what I can handle and how I deal with pain and hardship and that’s good knowledge to have although gaining it is so, so hard.
Thank you Barb. You summed this up in a truly helpful way. The last time I experienced the cancer death of someone important in my life, I was a kid. It was traumatizing and handled really poorly. So I’m not sure anymore what I can handle or how I deal with this — I have grown so much since that pivotal and awful experience. So I’m
learning as I go. No way would I choose those but to your point it’s enormously important.
I am grateful for each new day that I am blessed with. I try to maintain this “attitude of gratitude” as I go about my day. Some days I am more present & more aware of each moment & other days not so much.
Overall, I truly do feel very blessed. My “bouquet of blessings” at the end of each day is full.
🕊️🩷
This one is a double-edged sword for me. Sometimes I gaslight myself into thinking that I should be grateful for every single moment-even the suck-and then I descend deeper into self-pity because I am being ungrateful! The crappy moments are there for a reason and sometimes help me appreciate the one that feel like a gift, however every moment has meaning, even if it doesn’t feel great at the time.
I so appreciate everyone’s comments. Ngoc reminds us that not every moment is going to be wonderful, and yet each moment offers us something. The thoughts about what portion of time we can realistically observe and appreciate and still move through our days resonated for me, especially Elizabeth H’s.
I don’t have to view every moment IN that actual moment. In fact, seeking to live with more open awareness would mean being less of an observer of my own life as I live it and more of a full inhabitant of each moment. That would be the real gift. Being generally conscious that life is a gift is enough for me. Some moments will have more bows and ribbons than others.
It always is very helpful to me to pause and remember that every moment is a gift. It really energizes me and makes me feel grateful and present. “Another moment of being alive– what a gift!” Carla and Joseph wrote about how bigger units of time, like “this day is a gift” are more helpful for them. For me, the small unit of time is super helpful– I can really grasp it and put it into practice right away. It’s not that I actually feel obligated to remember in each moment that it is a gift, but WHEN I pause and remember, it definitely shifts my perspective away from “negativity and self pity”, as Charlie T. said, towards presence and gratitude.
I don’t think I can view every moment as a gift, as this would require a kind of presence that is difficult for me to sustain. But, there are many moments in the day where I can slow down for a minute and take a breath and take in the moment.
This definitely gives my life a better balance. And it ensures that I am not just slogging along in my negativity and self pity. By doing this practice, I am able to feel contentment, no matter my current circumstance.
A good reminder to be present in the moment with gratitude, hope, determination and delight.
Planning my summer weeks to enjoy friends I don’t see during the year and some new hopefully delightful experiences, like sailing on Lake Champlain. Never done this!
My perspective has not changed, I do view each moment and day as a gift, especially working for a Tissue Bank where I see death all the time.
Make the most of your moments as one never knows when your time is up.
Enjoy the weekend everyone.
It’s Nat’l Aunt and Uncle Day https://nationaltoday.com/national-aunt-and-uncle-day/
It changes my perspective both internally and externally. Viewing every moment this way allows me to see how beautiful all of life is. How blessed I am to be able to see another moment. And it makes me feel good inside, which I believe affects my internal workings and helps my overall health and well-being. It is a gift to be here right now.
And it is a gift to have big beautiful Lake Norman somewhat nearby to go swim in today as it will be 100 degrees! Happy Saturday!
Sunnypatti, great day to go swimming. Up in the Twin Cities, there’s an extreme heat watch for tomorrow with temps in the lower 90s creating a heat index in the lower 100s.
We are forecasted to have 100 degree temps for at least the next five days. Weatherman said it will feel like 105-110! I have been in the south all my life, but 110 is very extreme, to say the least! Stay cool up there 🙂
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When I was a little girl
I enjoyed my happy moments
and was grateful for them . . .
my mother holding me in her lap in front of the oven,
brushing my hair dry after a bath,
squatting in a creek,
catching a very slippery frog,
hand over hand
until he jumped out the top and swam away,
lying in bed with my grandmother
while she regaled me with stories of her own childhood . . .
the first time I rode my two-wheeler bicycle.
I saw
and still see those moments as gifts
because they were fun
and joyful.
It took me awhile
to appreciate the unwanted moments . . .
when my father spanked me,
pants down,
when I was too old to be spanked
(he never did it again),
when my first son died suddenly
and with no warning,
I thought I might die with him,
the moment I woke up from a drug overdose
and realized,
looking up at the faces around me,
what had happened . . .
the time a man ‘rescued’ me from an abusive boyfriend
only to rape me in his car.
There were important lessons in all of these moments,
but it took me years to find the blessings.
If I had never had trouble in my life
I never would have grown strong and sturdy.
I never would have found the courage to live.
What Ngoc wrote this morning
really struck me,
and what she said
removed a kink in the road of Gratitude and Presence in my heart.
”Unwanted moments are gifts of life lessons, and desirable moments are gifts of joy”
Well said,
Ngoc,
and thank you
from the bottom of my heart. ♥
Dear Sparrow, sending you love & more love…..🩷🤗🩷…….
♥
❤️
Hard and incredibly painful moments bring the gift of courage — this is good to remember. I’m glad you got through such challenges and have come out with beauty and grace.
The struggles are not over,
dear Drea,
but thank you for your care and concern. ♥
It helps me accept and cope with situations that are challenging.
I think if you can truly do this 24/7 -look at every moment as a gift-then you may have no regrets?
I have no regrets,
dear Cathie . . .
I did the best that I could
with what I had to work with.
You may be right. ♥
I really had to contemplate this question. The situation with my loved one with terminal cancer is hard. She is alone and needs hospice and better pain meds, but that hasn’t been arranged yet and it’s a weekend. There are documents to be filled out and she’s having trouble with cognition. I thought she might die last night; today I fly out to visit her.
The situation brings up anxiety/fear, helplessness, frustration (why isn’t this situation under control?), desperation, sorrow, frozen memories from the past, and who knows what else. So every moment as a gift is … every moment as an opportunity to fully feel whatever is up, name it, let it move within my body, and practice surrender, self-compassion, radical acceptance, gratefulness, patience. I think there is a Zen story that refers to this as “yoking the oxen” of the mind/body. Steering the ox. Something like that.
So OK, at first I thought this question was urging a positive response, a “you should be grateful.” Well, no. But I should see that every moment has its opportunity. I have many opportunities to practice in this difficult situation.
Sending much love to you and your loved one in this difficult time, Drea! ♥️🙏
Thank you dear Elizabeth!
Awhile back the quote of the day by Alex Elle was I am thankful for my struggle because without it, I would not have stumbled upon my strength.
I see your strength as your compassion. Hold it tenderly..
Thank you Yram. The idea of stumbling upon strength is really comforting.
My heart hurts for you & your friend dear Drea. Sending you both love. May the Divine guide you & your friend. 🩷🙏🏻🩷
Thank you so much PKR.
Loving kindness to you and your friend.
Thank you deeply, Michele.
Drea you are completing a life. Love will see you and your dear friend.
Thank you so much Joseph.
Yes,
dear Drea . . .
you honor the dying by being present to your dear friend,
and by taking care of yourself,
you honor the living as well.
Peace to you both
as you take this sacred journey together . . .
my heart is with you. ♥
Thank you dear Sparrow.
Thinking of you and your friend, Drea.
Thank you so much Sunnypatti. This is hard but to Barbs point, the hard times are teachers.
Surrounding you and your friend with loving energy.
Thank you Carol Ann, I very much appreciate it.
Thinking of you at such a difficult time, Drea. I’ve said before here that the hard times I might have wanted to skip over, given the choice, have gone into making me who I am. Couldn’t be here wiithout them. The hard times have taught me what I can handle and how I deal with pain and hardship and that’s good knowledge to have although gaining it is so, so hard.
Thank you Barb. You summed this up in a truly helpful way. The last time I experienced the cancer death of someone important in my life, I was a kid. It was traumatizing and handled really poorly. So I’m not sure anymore what I can handle or how I deal with this — I have grown so much since that pivotal and awful experience. So I’m
learning as I go. No way would I choose those but to your point it’s enormously important.
Also dying is a sacred passage and it is an honor to hold space for that. Gotta take care of myself too. So there’s a balance.
I am grateful for each new day that I am blessed with. I try to maintain this “attitude of gratitude” as I go about my day. Some days I am more present & more aware of each moment & other days not so much.
Overall, I truly do feel very blessed. My “bouquet of blessings” at the end of each day is full.
🕊️🩷
🙂
This one is a double-edged sword for me. Sometimes I gaslight myself into thinking that I should be grateful for every single moment-even the suck-and then I descend deeper into self-pity because I am being ungrateful! The crappy moments are there for a reason and sometimes help me appreciate the one that feel like a gift, however every moment has meaning, even if it doesn’t feel great at the time.
Your response made me giggle as I thought “oh ok, there is someone else who can go down those rabbit holes too!”
I so appreciate everyone’s comments. Ngoc reminds us that not every moment is going to be wonderful, and yet each moment offers us something. The thoughts about what portion of time we can realistically observe and appreciate and still move through our days resonated for me, especially Elizabeth H’s.
I don’t have to view every moment IN that actual moment. In fact, seeking to live with more open awareness would mean being less of an observer of my own life as I live it and more of a full inhabitant of each moment. That would be the real gift. Being generally conscious that life is a gift is enough for me. Some moments will have more bows and ribbons than others.
It always is very helpful to me to pause and remember that every moment is a gift. It really energizes me and makes me feel grateful and present. “Another moment of being alive– what a gift!” Carla and Joseph wrote about how bigger units of time, like “this day is a gift” are more helpful for them. For me, the small unit of time is super helpful– I can really grasp it and put it into practice right away. It’s not that I actually feel obligated to remember in each moment that it is a gift, but WHEN I pause and remember, it definitely shifts my perspective away from “negativity and self pity”, as Charlie T. said, towards presence and gratitude.
I don’t think I can view every moment as a gift, as this would require a kind of presence that is difficult for me to sustain. But, there are many moments in the day where I can slow down for a minute and take a breath and take in the moment.
This definitely gives my life a better balance. And it ensures that I am not just slogging along in my negativity and self pity. By doing this practice, I am able to feel contentment, no matter my current circumstance.
That was the 1st thing I thought of too-is that I don’t have that ability yet to sustain that type of awareness🤷♀️
A good reminder to be present in the moment with gratitude, hope, determination and delight.
Planning my summer weeks to enjoy friends I don’t see during the year and some new hopefully delightful experiences, like sailing on Lake Champlain. Never done this!
Unwanted moments are gifts of life lessons, and desirable moments are gifts of joy… May you all have a wonderful weekend. ☺
Thank you Ngoc. I copied this in a journal. Beautiful.
”Unwanted moments are gifts of life lessons, and desirable moments are gifts of joy”
Well and beautifully said,
dear Ngoc,
and very profound . . .
they are all gifts
in one way or another . . . ♥
A wonderful, open perspective, Ngoc. Thank you for sharing this.
My Ngoc, ultimately, it all evens out.
My perspective has not changed, I do view each moment and day as a gift, especially working for a Tissue Bank where I see death all the time.
Make the most of your moments as one never knows when your time is up.
Enjoy the weekend everyone.
It’s Nat’l Aunt and Uncle Day https://nationaltoday.com/national-aunt-and-uncle-day/
https://nationaltoday.com/today/
That’s right, Michele. We only have one life to live.
Viewing every moment as a gift would shift my perspective from an all too familiar negativity to a more hopeful way.
It changes my perspective both internally and externally. Viewing every moment this way allows me to see how beautiful all of life is. How blessed I am to be able to see another moment. And it makes me feel good inside, which I believe affects my internal workings and helps my overall health and well-being. It is a gift to be here right now.
And it is a gift to have big beautiful Lake Norman somewhat nearby to go swim in today as it will be 100 degrees! Happy Saturday!
Sunnypatti, great day to go swimming. Up in the Twin Cities, there’s an extreme heat watch for tomorrow with temps in the lower 90s creating a heat index in the lower 100s.
We are forecasted to have 100 degree temps for at least the next five days. Weatherman said it will feel like 105-110! I have been in the south all my life, but 110 is very extreme, to say the least! Stay cool up there 🙂
That sure is, Sunnypatti. The Earth is only getting hotter with global warming. Extreme heat is becoming more normal.
Everywhere and everyone, including me, is abundance and gift.