I have been dealing with a stressful situation and had to decide to take a pause from it and focus on myself. I took a wonderful yoga class at our
town library tonight. It was perfect, very calming. I feel so relaxed now. I also signed up for a creative card making class next week. I know that one has to take care of themselves first before helping another and sometimes it vanishes from my mind. Glad I came back to it tonight!
I guess by letting go I have created more space for something else. I am trying to fill those spaces with more light, more kindness, more joy, more love.
Lately I’m aware that I am much less burdened by FOMO (fear of missing out). This results in more authenticity, more contentment, more lightness of heart.
LETTING GO. My adult sister and I are very different-at times even combative. Lately, the need for us to communicate more is related to the needs of our aging mother. Today’s question led me to reflect on the improved relationship I have with my sister. I realized that when I let go of set expectations for her, some of her behaviors didn’t get under my skin as much. I “RE-viewed” my past responses to her and decided that we can value our similarities as well as our differences. So, by my letting go of judgments and preconceived notions about my sister, she seems to have done the same. I shifted my energy source that fuels our relationship, and we are closer than ever. We appreciate each other, laugh more together, and recognize that we share our time and energy in caring for Mom the best we can at this moment. LETTING GO has improved our sisterhood.
When have you become more by letting go?
When ever I can be in the moment, the now, it is an act of letting go. I do not think of it as being more. I think of it as BE-ing. I realize that I think too much and often find myself living in the past or the future and life has taught me that I go there alone because the strength I need is only available in the present moment, in the flow of my Life. To be present is to let go. It is to choose wisdom over power and the detrimental and fear-filled need to control. Letting go is the mindset that does not resist ‘what is’ but chooses to work with it. It is the mindset that trusts the process and understands that every day is a BE-ginning and my job is willingness.
I am writing reflections on Sheldon Kopp’s “Eschatological Laundry List” and I share a meditation I wrote on “This is it.” It is number one on Kopp’s list.
1. “This is it.”
What if someone had shared that information with me when I was a child? Would I have been able to grasp it? I doubt it because both at home and definitely in parochial school my head was filled with Thou shalt and Thou shalt not; this is good; that is bad; this is right; that is wrong. Good girls are seen and not heard. Learn the rules. Punch the clock. Clear the deck. Constantly take stock. Compete; compare; blame; shame, perform, perform, perform.
What if someone had modeled presence? What if they had said, “Today is a gift. Don’t miss it. You’re life is now here. Don’t let thinking get in the way of your experiencing what is.
What if someone had said perfection is not required—not even realistic? Live and learn. There are no mistakes just miss-takes so don’t spend any of your energy beating yourself up! Joy and sorrow are points of view – the north and south ends of the same walking stick. You can’t have one without the other. Life is one situation after another. Don’t turn those situations into problems just do your best. It will always be enough.”
My conclusion is that my journey to being able to hear and find the wisdom in “This is it” involves unlearning more than learning.
Just beautiful Carol! Wow! I thank you!! “Fear filled need to control” That is me, I am working on my responses to everyday life situations. I too went to Parochial school and the fear based approach lives within me, so hard to undo the damage of such teachings. It has control my life. I love your response, powerful!
Letting go, surrendering, and not resisting, has been the key to change for me. And by doing so, I am becoming a little more thoughtful, kind, content, settled, accepting, fearless, and a lot less stuck.
I appreciate the reflections others have shared and the different ways of reading this question. I immediately thought of two marriages that ended in divorce. Recognizing I was growing and changing and freeing myself of someone who had hurt me in a variety of ways was definitely a step toward becoming more myself and more who I could be. I went on to let go of the idea that I had failed at love and couldn’t possibly make good choices and found the love of my life.
At this point in time and space I think of letting go as evolving and using obstacles as spaces of learning and advancing: gaining skills and capacities and intentions. There is greater ease and happiness and I hope compassion. Eventually I no longer need the obstacle. Maybe this is my letting go process. It’s very slow. Maybe someday it will be automatic.: something drops , falls to the ground, no longer a burden to my evolution.
Building on Joseph’s and Don’s comments. Letting go, acceptance, and, adding further, nonattachment because of Impermanence. Nothing is forever. We can “roll with resistance” and “lean into the sharp edges” or suffer from clinging. This doesn’t mean being cavalier. Since everything is impermanent, every moment is sacred. This is stated in the gratefulness.org 5 basic principles. I’m better when I allow the gifts of life to ebb and flow come and go. I believe, one constant is something amazing is right around the corner. I’m cultivating a practice of surprise and awe to welcome where I’m flowing.
Don Jones wrote of acceptance and let go. In this sense I feel letting go and acceptance are synonymous. In letting go of my addiction to alcohol and past behaviors associated with the addiction and accepting my need and desire to abstain from alcohol, I have been able to be more present and loving to myself and others.
Who is the “I” to become more? I become more to be, to be one with Love´s Source through letting go of whatsoever is hindering, to become “more” in the meaning of True Love. Then becoming more through letting go of all which is hindering to be there in Love is my reply. And that´s all about we truly long to, which is we want to be, I guess. Thanks again for this question, allowing me to reevaluate current emotions and to let go.
This question really hit me this morning. I was awake most of the night…and thinking about past events. It was all of a sudden and my mind was filled with previous experiences/hurts from many years ago. I thought to myself…how did I ever get through that? WOW…I was (am) strong! But I haven’t let go of those things…I have read the reflections of others in this group this morning…and Kevins “is this a hill I want to die on today”…well that is very helpful. It is time to let go… I have forgiven the person that caused me such pain…but last night, I thought ” How could I have forgiven him?” ..Yes..it is best left in the past..and to keep forgiving. By Letting Go…I have room to be a better person, a kinder person…and a grateful person. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts.
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Letting go of fear makes me more available and present.
I have been dealing with a stressful situation and had to decide to take a pause from it and focus on myself. I took a wonderful yoga class at our
town library tonight. It was perfect, very calming. I feel so relaxed now. I also signed up for a creative card making class next week. I know that one has to take care of themselves first before helping another and sometimes it vanishes from my mind. Glad I came back to it tonight!
I guess by letting go I have created more space for something else. I am trying to fill those spaces with more light, more kindness, more joy, more love.
Lately I’m aware that I am much less burdened by FOMO (fear of missing out). This results in more authenticity, more contentment, more lightness of heart.
LETTING GO. My adult sister and I are very different-at times even combative. Lately, the need for us to communicate more is related to the needs of our aging mother. Today’s question led me to reflect on the improved relationship I have with my sister. I realized that when I let go of set expectations for her, some of her behaviors didn’t get under my skin as much. I “RE-viewed” my past responses to her and decided that we can value our similarities as well as our differences. So, by my letting go of judgments and preconceived notions about my sister, she seems to have done the same. I shifted my energy source that fuels our relationship, and we are closer than ever. We appreciate each other, laugh more together, and recognize that we share our time and energy in caring for Mom the best we can at this moment. LETTING GO has improved our sisterhood.
When have you become more by letting go?
When ever I can be in the moment, the now, it is an act of letting go. I do not think of it as being more. I think of it as BE-ing. I realize that I think too much and often find myself living in the past or the future and life has taught me that I go there alone because the strength I need is only available in the present moment, in the flow of my Life. To be present is to let go. It is to choose wisdom over power and the detrimental and fear-filled need to control. Letting go is the mindset that does not resist ‘what is’ but chooses to work with it. It is the mindset that trusts the process and understands that every day is a BE-ginning and my job is willingness.
I am writing reflections on Sheldon Kopp’s “Eschatological Laundry List” and I share a meditation I wrote on “This is it.” It is number one on Kopp’s list.
1. “This is it.”
What if someone had shared that information with me when I was a child? Would I have been able to grasp it? I doubt it because both at home and definitely in parochial school my head was filled with Thou shalt and Thou shalt not; this is good; that is bad; this is right; that is wrong. Good girls are seen and not heard. Learn the rules. Punch the clock. Clear the deck. Constantly take stock. Compete; compare; blame; shame, perform, perform, perform.
What if someone had modeled presence? What if they had said, “Today is a gift. Don’t miss it. You’re life is now here. Don’t let thinking get in the way of your experiencing what is.
What if someone had said perfection is not required—not even realistic? Live and learn. There are no mistakes just miss-takes so don’t spend any of your energy beating yourself up! Joy and sorrow are points of view – the north and south ends of the same walking stick. You can’t have one without the other. Life is one situation after another. Don’t turn those situations into problems just do your best. It will always be enough.”
My conclusion is that my journey to being able to hear and find the wisdom in “This is it” involves unlearning more than learning.
Just beautiful Carol! Wow! I thank you!! “Fear filled need to control” That is me, I am working on my responses to everyday life situations. I too went to Parochial school and the fear based approach lives within me, so hard to undo the damage of such teachings. It has control my life. I love your response, powerful!
Letting go, surrendering, and not resisting, has been the key to change for me. And by doing so, I am becoming a little more thoughtful, kind, content, settled, accepting, fearless, and a lot less stuck.
Charlie T Reading ”
“Letting go, surrendering, and not resisting, has been the key to change for me” says it all. I call it willingness!
I appreciate the reflections others have shared and the different ways of reading this question. I immediately thought of two marriages that ended in divorce. Recognizing I was growing and changing and freeing myself of someone who had hurt me in a variety of ways was definitely a step toward becoming more myself and more who I could be. I went on to let go of the idea that I had failed at love and couldn’t possibly make good choices and found the love of my life.
Barb, Thanks for sharing. I kept struggling with the word MORE in this question.
At this point in time and space I think of letting go as evolving and using obstacles as spaces of learning and advancing: gaining skills and capacities and intentions. There is greater ease and happiness and I hope compassion. Eventually I no longer need the obstacle. Maybe this is my letting go process. It’s very slow. Maybe someday it will be automatic.: something drops , falls to the ground, no longer a burden to my evolution.
Building on Joseph’s and Don’s comments. Letting go, acceptance, and, adding further, nonattachment because of Impermanence. Nothing is forever. We can “roll with resistance” and “lean into the sharp edges” or suffer from clinging. This doesn’t mean being cavalier. Since everything is impermanent, every moment is sacred. This is stated in the gratefulness.org 5 basic principles. I’m better when I allow the gifts of life to ebb and flow come and go. I believe, one constant is something amazing is right around the corner. I’m cultivating a practice of surprise and awe to welcome where I’m flowing.
Don Jones wrote of acceptance and let go. In this sense I feel letting go and acceptance are synonymous. In letting go of my addiction to alcohol and past behaviors associated with the addiction and accepting my need and desire to abstain from alcohol, I have been able to be more present and loving to myself and others.
Who is the “I” to become more? I become more to be, to be one with Love´s Source through letting go of whatsoever is hindering, to become “more” in the meaning of True Love. Then becoming more through letting go of all which is hindering to be there in Love is my reply. And that´s all about we truly long to, which is we want to be, I guess. Thanks again for this question, allowing me to reevaluate current emotions and to let go.
This question really hit me this morning. I was awake most of the night…and thinking about past events. It was all of a sudden and my mind was filled with previous experiences/hurts from many years ago. I thought to myself…how did I ever get through that? WOW…I was (am) strong! But I haven’t let go of those things…I have read the reflections of others in this group this morning…and Kevins “is this a hill I want to die on today”…well that is very helpful. It is time to let go… I have forgiven the person that caused me such pain…but last night, I thought ” How could I have forgiven him?” ..Yes..it is best left in the past..and to keep forgiving. By Letting Go…I have room to be a better person, a kinder person…and a grateful person. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts.
Letting go opens up space in my heart and soul to be more, love more and understand more.
Letting go is a work in progress … staying focused on the present helps.