Life gave me two foresights, one when i was about 9 years old, when my mother tried to let me remember what would be the result of 7 x 8 and i just could not remember it. Although learning and memorizing was easy for me, this single math task needed almost 100 times or even more of her repeated question on what the result of this number would be. Tonight, i understood what might have been the reason, why my mind resisted to memorize this figure. Another event happened in my teenage years when a painting I had to analyze at school unexpectedly and without any understanding why, led me to cry my eyes out, So there is some consolation in this now, that at least, what gave most important imprints to my spiritual life seemed to have been inevitable, and if so, i assume a karmic dept has or had to be acknowledged and paid. This might be a kind of consolation to the ones who accompanied me in my spiritual path. Thank you for all your patience and kindness.
When I was 16, I started reading Buddhist suttas on access to insight. Soon after, I understood that I am Buddhist, and I have been ever since, as the only one in my family.
Drawing pictures on the white foundation of our white house
when I was little,
scraping out the caulk from our ground level windows,
bringing home kittens and wounded birds
I felt,
were all Spiritual parts of my life.
I know I displeased my parents a lot for these activities.
My father,
a Presbyterian minister,
would stand at the door of the church every Sunday
and greet the parishioners
as they exited the building.
One Sunday
I asked my father,
with a host of people waiting behind me
if God was in my mother’s purse . . .
(my father should have known better–
God is everywhere)
I was not invited to exit by the front door after that.
I was always conscious of something Divine,
but I couldn’t reconcile what I felt inside
with what church was all about.
One the other side,
I loved my father’s first sermons
after returning from camping trips in the summer . . .
he would expound on the majesty of the Grand Canyon,
where we saw four sunsets one night,
and the grandeur of Ausable Chasm.
He spoke mightily of the Thunder Hole and Anemone Cave in Mount Desert’s National Park,
and our time in Monument Valley in Arizona.
In those sermons
he brought the Divine to me,
and I reveled in the stories as I relived those times.
I’ve always found ‘God’ in places that moved me,
but over the years
I am finding what is Divine
in so many other places . . .
even in places we would call ‘ugly’.
There was a series on television the other night
about strip mining in Lusatia in eastern Germany.
The aerial photography was heartbreaking,
seeing the rape of a beautiful land,
but I was also awakened to a sense of the Divine,
and wanted to love the despoiled earth back to Life.
My whole life
has been spiritually centered
and every thing I have experienced
has spiritual meaning for me . . .
I think I am a spiritual being
living a human life.
As a child I attended parochial schools that taught a God who expected perfection. Grace had to be earned. I was taught that God would only loving me if I was perfect. Thankfully, many spiritual books, many beautiful people and a wise mentor led me in another direction.Meeting my mentor, an episcopal priest, in the 1970’s when I was so angry, fearful and lost. I told him bluntly, “I do not want to talk about Jesus for Christ’s sake.” In retrospect, those were wise words. After a few years of counseling with him, I told him I was ready to talk about God. He did not try to define God for me but provided me with the Daily Office and told me to make a space/ place in my home where I could go daily to read the office. He said pray that the Word work in you. Do not try to find answers. Be open. It was a chore at first. I really had to discipline myself, get up early so I could do it before going to work but the discipline paid off. It became a precious time that I cherished. I knew I was growing but could not put it into words. By that time, I was also active in a 12-step group for the families and friends of alcoholics. I learned so much at those 12 step meetings about myself and about how to live one day at a time. I found myself being asked by many to be their sponsor, to walk with them through the 12-step process. I was also reading Fr. Richard Rohr’s books which I found very helpful. I started taking night classes, working on a master’s degree in pastoral studies. Then, my 35 year marriage abruptly ended and I was thrown out into the world alone. I felt like I couldn’t live with my husband nor could I live without him. Many in my family deserted me and the friendship of two women barely kept me afloat. Their love and concern helped me pick my self up and start over. I learned that I did not have to be worthy but that I was of worth. I learned that you cannot really love any one else unless you love yourself. That journey began 30 years ago and continues to this day. Today, I know that life is trustworthy and so am I. God is “Isness” to quote Meister Eckhart. Today is the gift so I do my best to be present to it. Some days I do better than other days and that is okay. My life is not perfect and I’m not perfect but I do my best to be kind.
What a painful and beautiful journey,
dear Carol Ann . . .
you have certainly been through the fire
and I so respect your sharing it here.
I am moved by your story . . .
it’s not easy being healed,
is it?
But it is very much worth the effort,
and you have become wise
by honestly facing what was before you
instead of running away from it.
I think
you have been and continue to be
an inspiration to people you may not even know about.
Blessings to you from me
with love . . . ♥
sparrow
Sometimes I skip the daily question because after reading it nothing comes to mind.
I thought about skipping today’s question, but I will see what I come up with.
I grew up Catholic. My parents were very religious; my Dad had been in the seminary
for seven years, then decided he would not become a priest,
but lived his life according to his rather strict religious principles.
I think what has stuck from my upbringing was the importance of being kind.
I think the love I felt from my parents and the love that I felt for my parents and my sisters
grounded me in living my life with love, and connecting to others with kindness.
Thank you for this question.
My intention for today is to slow down and see the goodness in the moment.
Acts of unsolicited kindness have been important in guiding me on my spiritual journey. And I think time spent alone in nature, has been a source of much of my beliefs.
Meditating, being with my thoughts and letting them go. Reading books from so many amazing and inspiring people. Being in community with others. Being outside. Having a morning routine. So many more but these are the ones that come to mind. And for that, I am grateful 🙏🏽🧡
Like Sunnypatti said, too many experiences to get into. It’s easy to get into the overthinking trap. Many people with autism, especially aspergers, have incredible memories. I was one of them but have gotten out of that. A basic desire for a laid back lifestyle is my motivation. Memory and planning takes us away from enjoying the gift of the present.
All my experiences have shaped my spiritual life. There is no separation. As Jacques Lusseyran wrote, “the world is not just outside us but also within.”
Drea, I agree with you. The inner world is quite new for traditional Asians. That’s why many grown-ups my parents’s generation have heart but lack the techniques in their care.
There have been a few over the years. One constant is observing in silence, not naming, just staying with the now, our wonderous home, earth. Peace, love and contentment for what is.
Thanks J. When I was in Korea that is something that I “took” w me. As it is – live as it is – accept as it is . So it’s useful to say in our present moment “ ah this is what is arising – let go ..,
Thank you 🙏
It occurs to me,
dear Joseph,
that earth
might not be our final home . . .
I don’t know what to think about that,
as I’ve grown very much in love with this home. ♥
So many experiences. Hours sitting in the ocean on my surfboard. Times just sitting on the beach staring out into the ocean. Reaching the top of mountains on hikes and looking out into the glory of it all. Witnessing the birth of a friend’s baby. Finding meditation as a tool for healing and now a tool for my wellbeing. Yoga – my practice, my studies… reading the Yoga Sutras and sitting in on discussions. So many books! From Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Gary Zukov, Mark Nepo, Dan Millman, A Course in Miracles. I could go on. The experience of living this life has shaped me spiritually. Not all experiences were fun or easy, but they all add up to who I am today and have helped me feel connected to the Greater Consciousness. I’m grateful for it all.
“help me feel connected to the Greater Consciousness.”
I think I have had moments when I have felt connected
to the Greater Consciousness, SunnyPatti.
Feeling connected to others,
and to nature probably takes me most of the way there.
I especially loved reading about your experiences in nature. ☀️
What came to my mind is what Eckhart Tolle says, “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.” Blessings to all 🙏🌈
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Life gave me two foresights, one when i was about 9 years old, when my mother tried to let me remember what would be the result of 7 x 8 and i just could not remember it. Although learning and memorizing was easy for me, this single math task needed almost 100 times or even more of her repeated question on what the result of this number would be. Tonight, i understood what might have been the reason, why my mind resisted to memorize this figure. Another event happened in my teenage years when a painting I had to analyze at school unexpectedly and without any understanding why, led me to cry my eyes out, So there is some consolation in this now, that at least, what gave most important imprints to my spiritual life seemed to have been inevitable, and if so, i assume a karmic dept has or had to be acknowledged and paid. This might be a kind of consolation to the ones who accompanied me in my spiritual path. Thank you for all your patience and kindness.
When I was 16, I started reading Buddhist suttas on access to insight. Soon after, I understood that I am Buddhist, and I have been ever since, as the only one in my family.
Drawing pictures on the white foundation of our white house
when I was little,
scraping out the caulk from our ground level windows,
bringing home kittens and wounded birds
I felt,
were all Spiritual parts of my life.
I know I displeased my parents a lot for these activities.
My father,
a Presbyterian minister,
would stand at the door of the church every Sunday
and greet the parishioners
as they exited the building.
One Sunday
I asked my father,
with a host of people waiting behind me
if God was in my mother’s purse . . .
(my father should have known better–
God is everywhere)
I was not invited to exit by the front door after that.
I was always conscious of something Divine,
but I couldn’t reconcile what I felt inside
with what church was all about.
One the other side,
I loved my father’s first sermons
after returning from camping trips in the summer . . .
he would expound on the majesty of the Grand Canyon,
where we saw four sunsets one night,
and the grandeur of Ausable Chasm.
He spoke mightily of the Thunder Hole and Anemone Cave in Mount Desert’s National Park,
and our time in Monument Valley in Arizona.
In those sermons
he brought the Divine to me,
and I reveled in the stories as I relived those times.
I’ve always found ‘God’ in places that moved me,
but over the years
I am finding what is Divine
in so many other places . . .
even in places we would call ‘ugly’.
There was a series on television the other night
about strip mining in Lusatia in eastern Germany.
The aerial photography was heartbreaking,
seeing the rape of a beautiful land,
but I was also awakened to a sense of the Divine,
and wanted to love the despoiled earth back to Life.
My whole life
has been spiritually centered
and every thing I have experienced
has spiritual meaning for me . . .
I think I am a spiritual being
living a human life.
As a child I attended parochial schools that taught a God who expected perfection. Grace had to be earned. I was taught that God would only loving me if I was perfect. Thankfully, many spiritual books, many beautiful people and a wise mentor led me in another direction.Meeting my mentor, an episcopal priest, in the 1970’s when I was so angry, fearful and lost. I told him bluntly, “I do not want to talk about Jesus for Christ’s sake.” In retrospect, those were wise words. After a few years of counseling with him, I told him I was ready to talk about God. He did not try to define God for me but provided me with the Daily Office and told me to make a space/ place in my home where I could go daily to read the office. He said pray that the Word work in you. Do not try to find answers. Be open. It was a chore at first. I really had to discipline myself, get up early so I could do it before going to work but the discipline paid off. It became a precious time that I cherished. I knew I was growing but could not put it into words. By that time, I was also active in a 12-step group for the families and friends of alcoholics. I learned so much at those 12 step meetings about myself and about how to live one day at a time. I found myself being asked by many to be their sponsor, to walk with them through the 12-step process. I was also reading Fr. Richard Rohr’s books which I found very helpful. I started taking night classes, working on a master’s degree in pastoral studies. Then, my 35 year marriage abruptly ended and I was thrown out into the world alone. I felt like I couldn’t live with my husband nor could I live without him. Many in my family deserted me and the friendship of two women barely kept me afloat. Their love and concern helped me pick my self up and start over. I learned that I did not have to be worthy but that I was of worth. I learned that you cannot really love any one else unless you love yourself. That journey began 30 years ago and continues to this day. Today, I know that life is trustworthy and so am I. God is “Isness” to quote Meister Eckhart. Today is the gift so I do my best to be present to it. Some days I do better than other days and that is okay. My life is not perfect and I’m not perfect but I do my best to be kind.
I learned that lesson about loving myself after my 1st marriage, too. That was a tough one for me. Thank you for sharing your story.
What a painful and beautiful journey,
dear Carol Ann . . .
you have certainly been through the fire
and I so respect your sharing it here.
I am moved by your story . . .
it’s not easy being healed,
is it?
But it is very much worth the effort,
and you have become wise
by honestly facing what was before you
instead of running away from it.
I think
you have been and continue to be
an inspiration to people you may not even know about.
Blessings to you from me
with love . . . ♥
sparrow
Sometimes I skip the daily question because after reading it nothing comes to mind.
I thought about skipping today’s question, but I will see what I come up with.
I grew up Catholic. My parents were very religious; my Dad had been in the seminary
for seven years, then decided he would not become a priest,
but lived his life according to his rather strict religious principles.
I think what has stuck from my upbringing was the importance of being kind.
I think the love I felt from my parents and the love that I felt for my parents and my sisters
grounded me in living my life with love, and connecting to others with kindness.
Thank you for this question.
My intention for today is to slow down and see the goodness in the moment.
Acts of unsolicited kindness have been important in guiding me on my spiritual journey. And I think time spent alone in nature, has been a source of much of my beliefs.
The same is true for me,
dear Charlie . . .
namaste.
Meditating, being with my thoughts and letting them go. Reading books from so many amazing and inspiring people. Being in community with others. Being outside. Having a morning routine. So many more but these are the ones that come to mind. And for that, I am grateful 🙏🏽🧡
Like Sunnypatti said, too many experiences to get into. It’s easy to get into the overthinking trap. Many people with autism, especially aspergers, have incredible memories. I was one of them but have gotten out of that. A basic desire for a laid back lifestyle is my motivation. Memory and planning takes us away from enjoying the gift of the present.
All my experiences have shaped my spiritual life. There is no separation. As Jacques Lusseyran wrote, “the world is not just outside us but also within.”
Yes, yes, yes,
dear Drea! ♥
Drea, I agree with you. The inner world is quite new for traditional Asians. That’s why many grown-ups my parents’s generation have heart but lack the techniques in their care.
When I am “awestruck” that gives me a sense of peace and hope.
There have been a few over the years. One constant is observing in silence, not naming, just staying with the now, our wonderous home, earth. Peace, love and contentment for what is.
Thanks J. When I was in Korea that is something that I “took” w me. As it is – live as it is – accept as it is . So it’s useful to say in our present moment “ ah this is what is arising – let go ..,
Thank you 🙏
It occurs to me,
dear Joseph,
that earth
might not be our final home . . .
I don’t know what to think about that,
as I’ve grown very much in love with this home. ♥
Well I for one dear Sparrow, expect this wonderous planet is a brief resting place for the essence of life.
“Peace, love, and contentment for what is.”
Thank you, Joseph! That says it all.
So many experiences. Hours sitting in the ocean on my surfboard. Times just sitting on the beach staring out into the ocean. Reaching the top of mountains on hikes and looking out into the glory of it all. Witnessing the birth of a friend’s baby. Finding meditation as a tool for healing and now a tool for my wellbeing. Yoga – my practice, my studies… reading the Yoga Sutras and sitting in on discussions. So many books! From Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Gary Zukov, Mark Nepo, Dan Millman, A Course in Miracles. I could go on. The experience of living this life has shaped me spiritually. Not all experiences were fun or easy, but they all add up to who I am today and have helped me feel connected to the Greater Consciousness. I’m grateful for it all.
“help me feel connected to the Greater Consciousness.”
I think I have had moments when I have felt connected
to the Greater Consciousness, SunnyPatti.
Feeling connected to others,
and to nature probably takes me most of the way there.
I especially loved reading about your experiences in nature. ☀️
Nature offers us so much as long as we take time to pause and soak it in 🙂
What came to my mind is what Eckhart Tolle says, “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.” Blessings to all 🙏🌈
Exactly,
dear Sheila . . .
I have found Eckhart Tolle to be
extremely relatable. ♥
Truth.
Giving birth
Various peoples’ experiences/books
This website
Happy Fall Equinox 🍂🍁
I will be celebrating the FAll Equinox at my cousin’s home this weekend. I so enjoy participating in rituals that celebrate the seasons.
Happy Autumn to you too Michele.
🧡🍂🍁
Happy Fall Equinox Michele!
Thank you and a welcoming autumn to you too Michele!
Every experience helps to shape my spiritual world in one way or another.