I find that so many of the “challenges” I have faced were self-created. I recovered from cancer 25 years ago and that was tough, but my worst adversary is my own mind, where the boogie men are created.
Christina, it’s funny how that works. 9 out of every 10 times, in hindsight, our problems come from our mind. We are often the prisoners of our own mind.
For me losing my Mother to cancer when I was 40. Also going thru a divorce I wanted but it was still very difficult.
Today we had our Wellness fair which is typically about all of our benefits. I couldn’t help to notice the theme was all about Mental health and wellness. It felt good to be able to share that I participate in this website and that I have tried to encourage my children to practice in some way too.
It also reminded me just how broken our world is though too 🙏
Being homeless in California,
mostly the Calaveras County of the famous Jumping Frog,
was one of my greatest challenges to my survival.
First I gave up,
then later surrendered,
and finally
plotted my escape,
a way out.
During the ‘gave up’ period
I did not care if I lived or I died . . .
I just went along with the flow of things.
I was a passenger in a boat of other people’s wishes,
going along silently
for the ride.
Then I surrendered,
but with a thought that whatever happened
might be good for me.
I was dumped out of a car in the middle of the desert mountains
with nothing but the clothes on my back.
My dog and my cat were still in the car . . .
normally,
I would not have allowed that to happen,
as they were my only connection to my own soul.
Not knowing where I was headed to
I started walking . . .
several hours later
the car came back and I was put back in.
That particular experience broke me
but it also opened me to the knowledge
that I was stronger than I knew . . .
strong even in my weakness.
I realized that I didn’t need to be afraid to die
because death is a thing that happens,
sometimes naturally
and sometimes not.
My eyes opened to my being,
my vulnerable,
indomitable being,
in the face of night coming,
in the knowledge of wild things coming out in the dark.
The difference between living and dying
didn’t seem so far apart.
I have gotten soft these last few years,
and out of practice,
but I know that being is still inside of me . . .
is me,
dormant
and waiting. ♥
Thanks for posting this, Sparrow.
You could write a book about your life.
So much has happened in your lifetime.
And you are so insightful about it all.
♥️♥️♥️
I have always been adaptable to challenges. I have faced many challenges. The adaptations I made as a child to the many challenges I faced, have stopped working in adulthood. So I’m adapting again, but consciously and with support. For me, adaptation is a neutral quality. The awareness with which one adapts; adapting towards openness, compassion, life–that’s what’s important.
That is a good point, Drea. The adaptations we make can serve us and life or they can cause problems.
I suppose it can help us have compassion on ourselves for some of our habits that do not serve as well if we realize that they may have been adaptations to help protect us etc.
And YES to “The awareness with which one adapts; adapting towards openness, compassion, life–that’s what’s important.”
On the topic of being adaptable in the face of challenges, one quote I remember from a movie I love, “Buck” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_(film) ) is from the foster mother who raised Buck Brannaman, “blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break” (I think I am remembering the wording correctly anyways)
I can think of some difficult experiences in my life, but I am not sure whether they strengthened my capacity to adapt or not. Right now things are on a pretty even keel in my personal life, but I will try to remember this question the next time big challenges come up. I resonate a lot with what Charlie T. said about becoming aware of when I am resisting what is happening and questioning that. I don’t need to add to my suffering with my internal resistance, though it is also important to let myself feel my difficult emotions and grieve when going through difficult times. There seems to be a difference between resistance and grief.
I’ve witnessed those close to me unable to adapt in the face of challenges. They have remained rigid and defensive. Their world has shrunken around them. Can’t say I’m an amazing adapter, but witnessing what happens when you don’t adapt has certainly driven me in the opposite direction, learning from books, meditation practice, and teachers about how to live in an ever-changing reality.
I found Richard Rohr’s meditation for today helpful when thinking about this question. I could list a lot of challenges that showed me my strength and gave me little choice but to adapt. Successes, failures, they all are part of the growth process. America feels like the Hatfields and the McCoys right now so how does one find both inner and outer freedom? I invite you to read Rohr’s meditation about prophetic living: https://cac.org/daily-meditations/prophetic-living/
” Francis and Clare showed us it is possible to change the system not by negative attacks (which tend to inflate the ego), but simply by quietly moving to the side and doing it better!”
This is my stance as well,
dear Carol Ann . . .
thank you for posting this.
So many experiences have strengthened me & built my resilience.
Losing my loved ones in a span of 3 years, all of whom were my support system, my everything.
Watching them suffer & then leave.
Realizing that I am pretty much alone now.
Moving across country to the place I grew up.
So different from my home of many, many years. Lots of adjusting to do.
One change after another.
I have learned to surrender, accept & embrace.
Happy October All. 🍂🍁
🐰🐰
🕊️♥️
Happy October to you too. Last night my kids came over for some delicious chili I made – we decided that Oct 1st would become an annual chili family night.
As I become a little less rigid and have given up some of my attachments, change comes a bit easier. I still find myself resisting, but now I can see that mechanism in myself and question it.
Yes, my life has had challenges and those challenges have demanded change. Reflecting, considering, and not blaming or shaming, can help open the door to resilience.
I was estranged from my living son
for many years,
dear John,
and had no hope that the rift would ever be healed,
but with time and maturity on both of our parts
the impossible has happened.
It can happen for you too. ♥
Having no biological mom from 21 months on to now 83, has helped me in so many situations. My latest challenges were care-supporting my husband of 56 years as he struggled with health in the last 2 years. The one facing me now is to deal with the aftermath of his sudden death this past Monday.
A big challenge to be sure,
dear Yram,
but I know your are strong
and more prepared than you may know . . .
accept the help of those who love you
and trust
that the sun will shine again for you
one day.
It’s what your husband would want too,
I think. ♥
My Ngoc, with Sean night last night, we have our 2 new PM quarterly zen goals. One of mine happens to be learning to trust my people. The other one I have is to take responsibility to let go of string-pulling which ties to the other goal just mentioned. Sean has detaching from his ways and building from the root which is my yearly one just like for me with taking responsibility being his yearly one as well. Sean says that he can come off rather set in his ways which I’ve noticed from time to time in his tone. I’m not that different. He picked building from the root to prevent attachments as well which is an extension from detaching from his ways.
Being by-cultural and a tweener between the new and old generation along with having a mild case of autism and bipolar mania, I was going to be put in many different social settings to no one’s surprise. I’ve gained in resiliency and adaptability.
I could write an essay answering this question, as there are many 🙂
Going through a divorce and figuring out all of the things that come with that from moving to obtaining legal help to healing internally over what I dealt with.
Running a fun, successful catering business but then having the rough and stressful experience we did when we added in the restaurant piece.
Moving from Charleston to the mountains of WNC and then to Charlotte in a short 2-month span… but I’m so grateful to be where I am.
And as Michele mentioned, Covid was challenging in so many ways.
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One was living a nomadic pastoral life for three years. Sheepherding.
What an incredible three years
that must have been,
dear Joseph . .
lots of time for self-reflection. ❣️
I find that so many of the “challenges” I have faced were self-created. I recovered from cancer 25 years ago and that was tough, but my worst adversary is my own mind, where the boogie men are created.
Christina, it’s funny how that works. 9 out of every 10 times, in hindsight, our problems come from our mind. We are often the prisoners of our own mind.
For me losing my Mother to cancer when I was 40. Also going thru a divorce I wanted but it was still very difficult.
Today we had our Wellness fair which is typically about all of our benefits. I couldn’t help to notice the theme was all about Mental health and wellness. It felt good to be able to share that I participate in this website and that I have tried to encourage my children to practice in some way too.
It also reminded me just how broken our world is though too 🙏
Being homeless in California,
mostly the Calaveras County of the famous Jumping Frog,
was one of my greatest challenges to my survival.
First I gave up,
then later surrendered,
and finally
plotted my escape,
a way out.
During the ‘gave up’ period
I did not care if I lived or I died . . .
I just went along with the flow of things.
I was a passenger in a boat of other people’s wishes,
going along silently
for the ride.
Then I surrendered,
but with a thought that whatever happened
might be good for me.
I was dumped out of a car in the middle of the desert mountains
with nothing but the clothes on my back.
My dog and my cat were still in the car . . .
normally,
I would not have allowed that to happen,
as they were my only connection to my own soul.
Not knowing where I was headed to
I started walking . . .
several hours later
the car came back and I was put back in.
That particular experience broke me
but it also opened me to the knowledge
that I was stronger than I knew . . .
strong even in my weakness.
I realized that I didn’t need to be afraid to die
because death is a thing that happens,
sometimes naturally
and sometimes not.
My eyes opened to my being,
my vulnerable,
indomitable being,
in the face of night coming,
in the knowledge of wild things coming out in the dark.
The difference between living and dying
didn’t seem so far apart.
I have gotten soft these last few years,
and out of practice,
but I know that being is still inside of me . . .
is me,
dormant
and waiting. ♥
Thanks for posting this, Sparrow.
You could write a book about your life.
So much has happened in your lifetime.
And you are so insightful about it all.
♥️♥️♥️
It was either observe and learn
or sink into the mire,
dear Mary . . .
I was not so brave.
I just made the better choice. 🙂
I have always been adaptable to challenges. I have faced many challenges. The adaptations I made as a child to the many challenges I faced, have stopped working in adulthood. So I’m adapting again, but consciously and with support. For me, adaptation is a neutral quality. The awareness with which one adapts; adapting towards openness, compassion, life–that’s what’s important.
That is a good point, Drea. The adaptations we make can serve us and life or they can cause problems.
I suppose it can help us have compassion on ourselves for some of our habits that do not serve as well if we realize that they may have been adaptations to help protect us etc.
And YES to “The awareness with which one adapts; adapting towards openness, compassion, life–that’s what’s important.”
On the topic of being adaptable in the face of challenges, one quote I remember from a movie I love, “Buck” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_(film) ) is from the foster mother who raised Buck Brannaman, “blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break” (I think I am remembering the wording correctly anyways)
I can think of some difficult experiences in my life, but I am not sure whether they strengthened my capacity to adapt or not. Right now things are on a pretty even keel in my personal life, but I will try to remember this question the next time big challenges come up. I resonate a lot with what Charlie T. said about becoming aware of when I am resisting what is happening and questioning that. I don’t need to add to my suffering with my internal resistance, though it is also important to let myself feel my difficult emotions and grieve when going through difficult times. There seems to be a difference between resistance and grief.
. . . reminding me of a book I read many years ago . . .
“The Three Bamboos”
about flexiblity being a strength,
dear Elizabeth. ♥
I’ve witnessed those close to me unable to adapt in the face of challenges. They have remained rigid and defensive. Their world has shrunken around them. Can’t say I’m an amazing adapter, but witnessing what happens when you don’t adapt has certainly driven me in the opposite direction, learning from books, meditation practice, and teachers about how to live in an ever-changing reality.
I found Richard Rohr’s meditation for today helpful when thinking about this question. I could list a lot of challenges that showed me my strength and gave me little choice but to adapt. Successes, failures, they all are part of the growth process. America feels like the Hatfields and the McCoys right now so how does one find both inner and outer freedom? I invite you to read Rohr’s meditation about prophetic living: https://cac.org/daily-meditations/prophetic-living/
” Francis and Clare showed us it is possible to change the system not by negative attacks (which tend to inflate the ego), but simply by quietly moving to the side and doing it better!”
This is my stance as well,
dear Carol Ann . . .
thank you for posting this.
So many experiences have strengthened me & built my resilience.
Losing my loved ones in a span of 3 years, all of whom were my support system, my everything.
Watching them suffer & then leave.
Realizing that I am pretty much alone now.
Moving across country to the place I grew up.
So different from my home of many, many years. Lots of adjusting to do.
One change after another.
I have learned to surrender, accept & embrace.
Happy October All. 🍂🍁
🐰🐰
🕊️♥️
Happy October to you too. Last night my kids came over for some delicious chili I made – we decided that Oct 1st would become an annual chili family night.
I admire your resilience
through all of these changes,
dear PKR . . . ♥
I am so sorry for all your losses, PKR. Blessings to you on this journey.
Our experiences sound very similar, PKR. Surrendering, accepting and truly embracing is the key that takes a life time to learn!
As I become a little less rigid and have given up some of my attachments, change comes a bit easier. I still find myself resisting, but now I can see that mechanism in myself and question it.
Yes, my life has had challenges and those challenges have demanded change. Reflecting, considering, and not blaming or shaming, can help open the door to resilience.
Charlie, I resignate with you as my protective walls are coming down and let go of agendas even if it’s done in the name of protection.
Divorce
Estrangement from one of my kids
Caring for a dying sister for 1 1/2 years until we couldn’t
That is a lot of hurt.
I was estranged from my living son
for many years,
dear John,
and had no hope that the rift would ever be healed,
but with time and maturity on both of our parts
the impossible has happened.
It can happen for you too. ♥
Having no biological mom from 21 months on to now 83, has helped me in so many situations. My latest challenges were care-supporting my husband of 56 years as he struggled with health in the last 2 years. The one facing me now is to deal with the aftermath of his sudden death this past Monday.
So terribly sorry for your loss dear Yram, sending u a virtual hug. Take care
A big challenge to be sure,
dear Yram,
but I know your are strong
and more prepared than you may know . . .
accept the help of those who love you
and trust
that the sun will shine again for you
one day.
It’s what your husband would want too,
I think. ♥
Yram, sending you love and support. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.
Sending love and support to you, Yram.
One day at a time…Love you dear YRAM.
The care from my loved ones and the blessings in my life strengthen my ability to face challenges, because I know that I’m not alone.
My Ngoc, with Sean night last night, we have our 2 new PM quarterly zen goals. One of mine happens to be learning to trust my people. The other one I have is to take responsibility to let go of string-pulling which ties to the other goal just mentioned. Sean has detaching from his ways and building from the root which is my yearly one just like for me with taking responsibility being his yearly one as well. Sean says that he can come off rather set in his ways which I’ve noticed from time to time in his tone. I’m not that different. He picked building from the root to prevent attachments as well which is an extension from detaching from his ways.
Being by-cultural and a tweener between the new and old generation along with having a mild case of autism and bipolar mania, I was going to be put in many different social settings to no one’s surprise. I’ve gained in resiliency and adaptability.
I could write an essay answering this question, as there are many 🙂
Going through a divorce and figuring out all of the things that come with that from moving to obtaining legal help to healing internally over what I dealt with.
Running a fun, successful catering business but then having the rough and stressful experience we did when we added in the restaurant piece.
Moving from Charleston to the mountains of WNC and then to Charlotte in a short 2-month span… but I’m so grateful to be where I am.
And as Michele mentioned, Covid was challenging in so many ways.
Yes SUNNYPATTI I know what you mean divorce is a huge storm ⛈️ – we learn so much about ourselves !