Most of the difficult challenges. My Mother taught me to not get stuck in life, if you are pushed down then get back up and keeping going!
When I was younger and just married right out of 2 year college I was very co-dependent. 22 years later I made the difficult decision
to divorce. The best decision of my life, to a very difficult person whom I loved but did not trust any longer. There was no turning back!
I asked for full custody of my children and it was granted.
To realize that it comes as it comes anyway, or not at all and that even this most probably does not matter at all in the end changes perspective to the field where it is as it is while nothing is but Gratefulness, Love, and beyond. My painfully gained, yest peaceful grain of being with this question.
On an an ancestral level, my grandparents were survivors of the Armenian genocide. This has given us a phenomenal strength and resiliency.
On a personal level, my mother was an alcoholic and incapable of giving me the nurturing I needed. So I looked around and said, “Ain’t nobody here to look after me, so I have to learn to take care of myself.”
What with these things going on, other challenges seem trivial.
I think that it’s only now, in my sixtieth
year, that I am realizing my ability to
change and adapt. To be stuck and
unstuck. Looking back on the challenges
that I have faced and somehow emerged
on the other side, gives me the strength
and faith that I am capable.
Your first line fits my description too “I think that it’s only now, in my sixty sixth year. that I am realizing my ability to change and adapt.” Thank you for that sentence. Fits my bill well Charlie.
I consider every experience especially hardships are times that you have to adapt and move on even if it seems that you can’t. Ok, to take a small break and regroup. I’ve been through many, marriage, divorce, raising 5 children, stressful work situations, extremely stressful family situations. Dealing with judgement and learning through many years how to not be so judgmental myself. Put my faith in Jesus taking care of it all in the end certainly helps and knowing you are not alone.
Adaptation seems to be my middle name. My teaching days taught me that there are no mis-takes that can’t be fixed. I have become proficient in stating phrases differently, or using different tools to solve a difficult situation. The laundry list, Carol posted is a good example.
As I grew up under my family’s protection, I used to be easily hurt in my soul. For example, every time I listened to my performances on the internet, I didn’t even want to read all the comments from the audience. I feared seeing insults that made me sad. Then I learned that I cannot be perfect in everyone’s eyes and that we all have different ways of enjoying music or whatever else. I appreciate those who enjoy my voice. Either way, those who don’t like my voice, it doesn’t mean that my voice is terrible. They simply prefer another kind of music or a different kind of voice. Eventually, I tried to improve my positive thinking as I practiced grateful living. I accept all comments, good and bad, and learn from them to improve my singing.
Trying to reconnect with my birth father when I was in college only to learn that he didn’t want the same. Running an all-girls surf contest for a little over 10 years. Going thru a divorce. And most recently, running a restaurant with my husband in a rural area with people that were not as nice as we thought they would be. It’s okay though, we changed things up so that our 5-star catering reputation wouldn’t get ruined. Onward!
My conversion from being a people pleaser to becoming « enough », whether I said yes or no.
I was losing myself physically and emotionally. A terrific therapist guided me through this change and I will be forever grateful to her.
A few years ago, I read this quote, and share it when it might be helpful to someone. I can’t credit the author as I am not sure who it is. It goes something like this: « When you do everything others want you to do, everyone likes you, but you ». Peace.
An illness difficult to pinpoint. An amazing doctor figured that out and basically saved my life. A divorce that also in many ways saved my life. These were many years ago, and I am grateful for my life today.
Good morning Pilgrim…..I missed being here with you yesterday on our Prayer Tuesday. So happy to see you here today!
So much wisdom here and a generous sharing of challenges and difficulties.
Like you, I have much gratitude for my life at such a time as this.
Wishing you a peace-filled day my friend ♥
What experiences in my life have strengthened my capacity to adapt in the face of challenges?
Illness, divorce, aging and multiple successes and failures have encouraged me to evolve instead of get stuck in a revolving door! Sometimes, I’ve had to keep going around the mountain and arriving in the same place over and over before I learn and even when I do learn, many times I relapse. Psychiatrist and author Sheldon Kopp’s Eschatological Laundry List came to mind when I read this question. I was first introduced to it in the 1970’s and have found it very helpful to me over the years
1. This is it!
2. There are no hidden meanings.
3. You can’t get there from here and besides there’s no place else to go.
4. We are all already dying and we will be dead for a long time.
5. Nothing lasts.
6. There is no way of getting all you want.
7. You can’t have anything unless you let go of it.
8. You only get to keep what you give away.
9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.
10. The world is not necessarily just. Being good often does not pay off and there is no compensation for misfortune.
11. You have a responsibility to do your best nonetheless.
12. It is a random universe to which we bring meaning.
13. You don’t really control anything.
14. You can’t make anyone love you.
15. No one is any stronger or any weaker than anyone else.
16. Everyone is, in his own way, vulnerable.
17. There are no great men.
18. If you have a hero, look again: you have diminished yourself in some way.
19. Everyone lies, cheats, pretends, (yes, you too, and most certainly I myself).
20. All evil is potential vitality in need of transformation.
21. All of you is worth something, if you will only own it.
22. Progress is an illusion.
23. Evil can be displaced but never eradicated, as all solutions breed new problems.
24. Yet it is necessary to keep on struggling toward solution.
25. Childhood is a nightmare.
26. But it is so very hard to be an on-your-own, take-care-of-yourself-cause-there-is-no- one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.
27. Each of us is ultimately alone.
28. The most important things, each man must do for himself.
29. Love is not enough, but it sure helps.
30. We have only ourselves and one another. That may not be much but that’s all there is.
31. How strange that so often, it all seems worth it.
32. We must live within the ambiguity of partial freedom, partial power and partial knowledge.
33. All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
34. Yet we are responsible for everything we do.
35. No excuses will be accepted.
36. You can run, but you can’t hide.
37. It is most important to run out of scapegoats.
38. We must learn the power of living with our helplessness.
39. The only victory lies in surrender to oneself.
40. All of the significant battles are waged within the self.
41. You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
42. What do you know…for sure…anyway?
43. Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again…
Evolution. The one word that that can be used to sum of the total of my experiences that have resulted in a capacity to adapt. Sometimes life gets lifey. Adaptation is the compromise to flat out stubbornness to change in the face of challenges’ and forge on with grace and gratitude during this impermanent ride through the universe.
I am dealing with a few different things in my life right now, poor health, unemployment, broken family dynamics, aging parents with health conditions who live in another country, my son who is angry with me for my failing to share some family history with him. I feel overwhelmed but have developed a routine of morning prayer, yoga, meditation to help me adapt. I am trying to remember the quote from a few days ago that sometimes growth comes from darkness. I don’t know if I will be strengthened by these challenges but I have to learn to face them and adapt to them.
You are on the right track to maintain your balanced mind. Keep practicing, stay strong, and believe in your inner power. I wish you all the best! We are a grateful union, we are your friends, we are with you now.
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Most of the difficult challenges. My Mother taught me to not get stuck in life, if you are pushed down then get back up and keeping going!
When I was younger and just married right out of 2 year college I was very co-dependent. 22 years later I made the difficult decision
to divorce. The best decision of my life, to a very difficult person whom I loved but did not trust any longer. There was no turning back!
I asked for full custody of my children and it was granted.
To realize that it comes as it comes anyway, or not at all and that even this most probably does not matter at all in the end changes perspective to the field where it is as it is while nothing is but Gratefulness, Love, and beyond. My painfully gained, yest peaceful grain of being with this question.
Perhaps it is the building or accumulation of wisdom.
On an an ancestral level, my grandparents were survivors of the Armenian genocide. This has given us a phenomenal strength and resiliency.
On a personal level, my mother was an alcoholic and incapable of giving me the nurturing I needed. So I looked around and said, “Ain’t nobody here to look after me, so I have to learn to take care of myself.”
What with these things going on, other challenges seem trivial.
Yo go girl!
Thanks, Avril.
I think that it’s only now, in my sixtieth
year, that I am realizing my ability to
change and adapt. To be stuck and
unstuck. Looking back on the challenges
that I have faced and somehow emerged
on the other side, gives me the strength
and faith that I am capable.
Your first line fits my description too “I think that it’s only now, in my sixty sixth year. that I am realizing my ability to change and adapt.” Thank you for that sentence. Fits my bill well Charlie.
I consider every experience especially hardships are times that you have to adapt and move on even if it seems that you can’t. Ok, to take a small break and regroup. I’ve been through many, marriage, divorce, raising 5 children, stressful work situations, extremely stressful family situations. Dealing with judgement and learning through many years how to not be so judgmental myself. Put my faith in Jesus taking care of it all in the end certainly helps and knowing you are not alone.
Adaptation seems to be my middle name. My teaching days taught me that there are no mis-takes that can’t be fixed. I have become proficient in stating phrases differently, or using different tools to solve a difficult situation. The laundry list, Carol posted is a good example.
As I grew up under my family’s protection, I used to be easily hurt in my soul. For example, every time I listened to my performances on the internet, I didn’t even want to read all the comments from the audience. I feared seeing insults that made me sad. Then I learned that I cannot be perfect in everyone’s eyes and that we all have different ways of enjoying music or whatever else. I appreciate those who enjoy my voice. Either way, those who don’t like my voice, it doesn’t mean that my voice is terrible. They simply prefer another kind of music or a different kind of voice. Eventually, I tried to improve my positive thinking as I practiced grateful living. I accept all comments, good and bad, and learn from them to improve my singing.
A wonderful insight and so true.
Trying to reconnect with my birth father when I was in college only to learn that he didn’t want the same. Running an all-girls surf contest for a little over 10 years. Going thru a divorce. And most recently, running a restaurant with my husband in a rural area with people that were not as nice as we thought they would be. It’s okay though, we changed things up so that our 5-star catering reputation wouldn’t get ruined. Onward!
My conversion from being a people pleaser to becoming « enough », whether I said yes or no.
I was losing myself physically and emotionally. A terrific therapist guided me through this change and I will be forever grateful to her.
A few years ago, I read this quote, and share it when it might be helpful to someone. I can’t credit the author as I am not sure who it is. It goes something like this: « When you do everything others want you to do, everyone likes you, but you ». Peace.
An illness difficult to pinpoint. An amazing doctor figured that out and basically saved my life. A divorce that also in many ways saved my life. These were many years ago, and I am grateful for my life today.
Good morning Pilgrim…..I missed being here with you yesterday on our Prayer Tuesday. So happy to see you here today!
So much wisdom here and a generous sharing of challenges and difficulties.
Like you, I have much gratitude for my life at such a time as this.
Wishing you a peace-filled day my friend ♥
What experiences in my life have strengthened my capacity to adapt in the face of challenges?
Illness, divorce, aging and multiple successes and failures have encouraged me to evolve instead of get stuck in a revolving door! Sometimes, I’ve had to keep going around the mountain and arriving in the same place over and over before I learn and even when I do learn, many times I relapse. Psychiatrist and author Sheldon Kopp’s Eschatological Laundry List came to mind when I read this question. I was first introduced to it in the 1970’s and have found it very helpful to me over the years
1. This is it!
2. There are no hidden meanings.
3. You can’t get there from here and besides there’s no place else to go.
4. We are all already dying and we will be dead for a long time.
5. Nothing lasts.
6. There is no way of getting all you want.
7. You can’t have anything unless you let go of it.
8. You only get to keep what you give away.
9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.
10. The world is not necessarily just. Being good often does not pay off and there is no compensation for misfortune.
11. You have a responsibility to do your best nonetheless.
12. It is a random universe to which we bring meaning.
13. You don’t really control anything.
14. You can’t make anyone love you.
15. No one is any stronger or any weaker than anyone else.
16. Everyone is, in his own way, vulnerable.
17. There are no great men.
18. If you have a hero, look again: you have diminished yourself in some way.
19. Everyone lies, cheats, pretends, (yes, you too, and most certainly I myself).
20. All evil is potential vitality in need of transformation.
21. All of you is worth something, if you will only own it.
22. Progress is an illusion.
23. Evil can be displaced but never eradicated, as all solutions breed new problems.
24. Yet it is necessary to keep on struggling toward solution.
25. Childhood is a nightmare.
26. But it is so very hard to be an on-your-own, take-care-of-yourself-cause-there-is-no- one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.
27. Each of us is ultimately alone.
28. The most important things, each man must do for himself.
29. Love is not enough, but it sure helps.
30. We have only ourselves and one another. That may not be much but that’s all there is.
31. How strange that so often, it all seems worth it.
32. We must live within the ambiguity of partial freedom, partial power and partial knowledge.
33. All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
34. Yet we are responsible for everything we do.
35. No excuses will be accepted.
36. You can run, but you can’t hide.
37. It is most important to run out of scapegoats.
38. We must learn the power of living with our helplessness.
39. The only victory lies in surrender to oneself.
40. All of the significant battles are waged within the self.
41. You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
42. What do you know…for sure…anyway?
43. Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again…
#1 made me think of the movie Titanic when Leo said that right before they were about to sink.
I like this a lot. 20 and 23 are particularly profound. I disagree with 27. I believe there is only One. So we can’t “each” be alone “individually”.
Woh! That’s quite the amazing list,
Carol. I love it and just shared it with
a friend. Thank you. 🙏
What an amazing list. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you!
How beautifull words! I love “encouraged me to evolve instead of get stuck”.
Thank you for sharing, Carol!
Evolution. The one word that that can be used to sum of the total of my experiences that have resulted in a capacity to adapt. Sometimes life gets lifey. Adaptation is the compromise to flat out stubbornness to change in the face of challenges’ and forge on with grace and gratitude during this impermanent ride through the universe.
Divorce, moving to a different state, starting new work, unexpected break up
I am dealing with a few different things in my life right now, poor health, unemployment, broken family dynamics, aging parents with health conditions who live in another country, my son who is angry with me for my failing to share some family history with him. I feel overwhelmed but have developed a routine of morning prayer, yoga, meditation to help me adapt. I am trying to remember the quote from a few days ago that sometimes growth comes from darkness. I don’t know if I will be strengthened by these challenges but I have to learn to face them and adapt to them.
I am so grateful you are finding time to be here, Journey.
I find adaptation a good equalizer but I also try not to lose me in the process.
Thank you so much for the support Yram.
You are on the right track to maintain your balanced mind. Keep practicing, stay strong, and believe in your inner power. I wish you all the best! We are a grateful union, we are your friends, we are with you now.
Thank you so much for the support Ngoc.
Journey, The Eschatological Laundry List that I shared in my post might be helpful to you. Sending loving energy your way.
Thank you so much for the support Carol and for sharing that wonderful list.