My family. Going to college was an extremely scary thing to do, thorugh all the ups and downs or school and a new city and social life and new people, I have found friends that have been in my life for years. They have become my community in this new city and introduced me to great people. I am beyond grateful to have found these people.
My two serving jobs as well. I have met new people and am creating friends. Everyone is very kind and I have a great time.
I have been blessed many times with a sense of community. Growing up and into high school my soccer teams were a community. We were not all friends off the field but on the field we were…a team.
I have always had great coworkers in any job that has created a community of sorts.
Since moving here a couple of years ago, I have lost much community. I previously had good friends and was in a leadership position in my church. But now over 3 hours away from a familiar area, different neighbors who do a fair share of moving in the condo community, and just no ongoing ways of communicating with those left behind. It is quite painful, really. I do love the closeness to the beach, and go there in good weather for a walk at Lake Michigan. Still, lots of isolation. Some of my family lives here locally, but still, not much connection or interaction. I had some good doctors before, as well, and am also disconnected from them. So I had much community previously. Still finding my way, I guess, or hoping I do at some point. I am 73, which also doesn’t make it easier. Thanks for being here!
What about a senior center in your area? I hope you find a community soon. My dad once randomly started talking to a group of people at a coffee shop and then started seeing them weekly. I’ll pray you come across a community soon.
Thank you, Deann. I know of no senior centers, and I depend on my daughter to drive me most places. Roads can be crazy busy! I am always on the watch, though, for new pathways to friendship!
Pilgrim, could you tell is where “here” is? I have had a similar experience moving from NYC to the suburbs on the North Shore of Long Island. In the City, I had a fairly large circle of friends, neighbors, and fellow political activists. Contrary to popular belief , it is relatively easy to make friends in NYC, and neighbors help each other out. I moved here and folks had their own tight-knit circle of friends. To this day, thirty-plus hears later, I have only a few real friends.
Dolores, I live in Michigan, and have lived in this state most of my life. We moved to West Michigan from the Detroit area suburbs about 3 or so years ago. This is a lovely area, though not really neighborhoods, if that makes any sense. I previously knew my neighbors, my doctors, graduated from Seminary and did some teaching. Where I live now, there is a fair amount of folks who live here in summer and go elsewhere at other times. People are very nice, and keep to themselves for the most part. I am grateful to be able to drive a couple miles down the road and spend time at Lake Michigan when weather permits. And I enjoy the small wildlife and trees in my backyard through all the seasons. So I am blessed, and yet also lonely sometimes. Life! L’Chaim!
When I was in High School I belonged to a youth group in a Congregational church. We gathered once a week on Sunday evenings
and it was run by two young ministers. One tradition I recall was passing around “fuzzies (knit balls)” and writing positive notes to each other during part of the ministry gatherings. I loved it and I felt very connected with the group. We also did week-end trips and an annual trip during school vacation to Vermont. I have many fond memories and I am still connected with many friends I made in this group on my facebook.
Looking back, my life has been all
about finding community and alternative
family. When I was in my teens, I found
community in a group of friends that
we’re on our own and we supported
each other as best we could, considering
our circumstances ( and drug use).
In my twenties, I started a business that
became a little community institution.
And there has been many smaller groups
along the way. Including this one.
It seems I have a real need to connect
with people on a very basic level. All these
people, including myself, are misfits,
goofballs, troubled, brilliant, damaged,
and beautiful. My life would be very
lonely and boring (and possibly wouldn’t
exist) without them. Each and every one
of them. As I sit here on my patio, with a
cat in my lap, on a sunny Sunday,
contemplating this question, I feel so very
very grateful. 🙏
This question is relevant today, because I am bummed out. A meeting at our church left me feeling unaccepted and unappreciated (although I am part of the leadership of this particular group)).
All my life my church – whatever it was at the time – was a major source of community for me, and in my childhood and youth a haven from a dysfunctional family. Apart from my recent experience, I have mainly lost this source of fellowship, the church is on life support and unlikely to survive,
Grateful for my family who taught me to DO well and for my chosen spiritual family, supporting to simply BE and to be simple, lovingly cultivating stillness, who thankfully are still present and kind sometimes almost against all odds and of which this online group is beloved part of; the community of professional friends, the kindred hearts of my little meditation group at home still committed to the Sangha and our weekly meetings; and the community of kindred fellow people bikers exploring nature at its best for example – all part of the grand community of all fellow living beings.
Over the years I’ve found connection and community in many places and contexts, in every part of my life. Some have been serendipitous, some I created myself, some I sought out. If I’m open to community I find it and it finds me as long as I act in community with others.
I’m deeply embedded in the bike advocacy community; I started as a volunteer and took on leadership roles that led directly to my professional life of the last 12 years. In the town I lived in for a long time I started a friendship group among women I knew professionally that I wanted to connect with as friends and found many responded to that invitation–the group continued meeting for over a decade and when I moved away I handed off the monthly email responsibility to someone else who kept it going a while. I’m going to start something similar where I am now. Creating a time and space for connection enables community bonding and belonging. Most recently I took a couple of different introductory improv classes and found a wonderful community there. A husband/wife couple who participated is holding a potluck next week for all of us “improv friends.” I’ll have to miss it but I’m on the list for future gatherings.
I find community happening all around me. I live in the state capital and we have a lot of events that bring people together. Last weekend was Arts Walk and the Procession of the Species (which I admit I skipped because of the rain and now I’m sorry I missed it–next year!). The weekend before I co-led one of the groups in the annual Earth Day Market Ride, a bike community event. Walking downtown yesterday my husband and I encountered a protest against what’s happening in Gaza. The farmers’ market bustles every week, and this time of year it runs four days a week. Simply walking my neighborhood loop, as I do several times most days, places me in community with my neighbors who are also walking or out working in their yards.
I miss having the yoga community I had in a former hometown. My best friend was an instructor, others in the class became familiar acquaintances. I can practice at home with an app but the community and class schedule keep me more connected and I need to seek that out.
Once again, I look back to the Word of the Day: ” Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.— CHUANG-TZU”
This is why we need community. We need each other. This can bring us greater happiness and peace.
Of course, it also comes from ourself. Wholeness is an important part of my journey. I still feel community is a necessary part of our personal growth.
I’m grateful for this community. I don’t comment all the time, but I still read all the comments. And I plan to interact on the lounge sometime.
I’ve found a sense of community within my earthly family. They’ve been there for me when needed most, have continued to make me feel protected from the chaotic materialistic world, provided a strong healing environment, and accepted me for who I am. I subscribe to the common belief, especially among Asian communities, that our earthly family members are the only people who are garenteed to stay with us while everyone else we encounter comes and goes during our lifetime.
Michele, I’m happy for you. Being able to find communities that fit our needs goes a long ways in nurturing our overall health. We live in a social world.
As a small child, I found community in family. Even though my parents divorced, they both nurtured my growth with the support of extended family. My Mom’s family was quite large and most lived close by. My Dad’s family was not local but my father made sure I knew my grandparents and his brothers and sisters with frequent trips to visit them.
Over the years, I’ve been active in church communities, community theatre groups, and my sense of community was highly influenced by over 20 years in a 12-step community for the families and friends of alcoholics.
These days, I have definitely found a loving and life-giving community here on gratefulness.org. I’m also involved in community at the local public library and the local council on aging where I participate in many interesting gatherings.
Carol, I’m glad you have such a loving and supportive family. That goes a long ways. Ngoc and I have mentioned that one of our favorite aspects about the American culture we’ve noticed is despite people getting divorced, they still manage to stay as friends and provide for their children. I’ve heard stories from a few friends about that too.
I listened to the Tricycle Talks podcast episode “Transmuting Generational Grief” with Jungwon Kim, a human rights advocate. In this episode, she shared having many different “pods” (a term popularized during the height of COVID-19) of her communities. It struck me that one community isn’t adequate for my various needs. I am fortunate to have several pods, online and in-person. I have this sacred space, the Grateful Living community space (https://community.grateful.org/c/lounge?post_login_redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fcommunity.grateful.org%2F%3Fautomatic_login%3Dtrue check that out, too) my Unity North spiritual home, my virtual ashram, my meditation women’s Satsang, my job community, my women’s heart community, and even a burgeoning one with two outdoor groups I participate in. Some communities overlap, and others are separate. I love stretching into diverse spaces.
At the beach, I have a great surf community and many of us have known each other so long that we are like family.
In the churches I have gone to over the years.
This website also offers a great community!
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My family. Going to college was an extremely scary thing to do, thorugh all the ups and downs or school and a new city and social life and new people, I have found friends that have been in my life for years. They have become my community in this new city and introduced me to great people. I am beyond grateful to have found these people.
My two serving jobs as well. I have met new people and am creating friends. Everyone is very kind and I have a great time.
I have been blessed many times with a sense of community. Growing up and into high school my soccer teams were a community. We were not all friends off the field but on the field we were…a team.
I have always had great coworkers in any job that has created a community of sorts.
Since moving here a couple of years ago, I have lost much community. I previously had good friends and was in a leadership position in my church. But now over 3 hours away from a familiar area, different neighbors who do a fair share of moving in the condo community, and just no ongoing ways of communicating with those left behind. It is quite painful, really. I do love the closeness to the beach, and go there in good weather for a walk at Lake Michigan. Still, lots of isolation. Some of my family lives here locally, but still, not much connection or interaction. I had some good doctors before, as well, and am also disconnected from them. So I had much community previously. Still finding my way, I guess, or hoping I do at some point. I am 73, which also doesn’t make it easier. Thanks for being here!
What about a senior center in your area? I hope you find a community soon. My dad once randomly started talking to a group of people at a coffee shop and then started seeing them weekly. I’ll pray you come across a community soon.
Thank you, Deann. I know of no senior centers, and I depend on my daughter to drive me most places. Roads can be crazy busy! I am always on the watch, though, for new pathways to friendship!
Pilgrim, could you tell is where “here” is? I have had a similar experience moving from NYC to the suburbs on the North Shore of Long Island. In the City, I had a fairly large circle of friends, neighbors, and fellow political activists. Contrary to popular belief , it is relatively easy to make friends in NYC, and neighbors help each other out. I moved here and folks had their own tight-knit circle of friends. To this day, thirty-plus hears later, I have only a few real friends.
Dolores, I live in Michigan, and have lived in this state most of my life. We moved to West Michigan from the Detroit area suburbs about 3 or so years ago. This is a lovely area, though not really neighborhoods, if that makes any sense. I previously knew my neighbors, my doctors, graduated from Seminary and did some teaching. Where I live now, there is a fair amount of folks who live here in summer and go elsewhere at other times. People are very nice, and keep to themselves for the most part. I am grateful to be able to drive a couple miles down the road and spend time at Lake Michigan when weather permits. And I enjoy the small wildlife and trees in my backyard through all the seasons. So I am blessed, and yet also lonely sometimes. Life! L’Chaim!
Thanks for your response, Pilgrim. I hope you will find, and I believe you will find, at least a few friends to bond with.
When I was in High School I belonged to a youth group in a Congregational church. We gathered once a week on Sunday evenings
and it was run by two young ministers. One tradition I recall was passing around “fuzzies (knit balls)” and writing positive notes to each other during part of the ministry gatherings. I loved it and I felt very connected with the group. We also did week-end trips and an annual trip during school vacation to Vermont. I have many fond memories and I am still connected with many friends I made in this group on my facebook.
Looking back, my life has been all
about finding community and alternative
family. When I was in my teens, I found
community in a group of friends that
we’re on our own and we supported
each other as best we could, considering
our circumstances ( and drug use).
In my twenties, I started a business that
became a little community institution.
And there has been many smaller groups
along the way. Including this one.
It seems I have a real need to connect
with people on a very basic level. All these
people, including myself, are misfits,
goofballs, troubled, brilliant, damaged,
and beautiful. My life would be very
lonely and boring (and possibly wouldn’t
exist) without them. Each and every one
of them. As I sit here on my patio, with a
cat in my lap, on a sunny Sunday,
contemplating this question, I feel so very
very grateful. 🙏
Hello Charlie, I can identify with some of your adjectives. Misfit for one. Thank you for remining me it takes all kinds!
This question is relevant today, because I am bummed out. A meeting at our church left me feeling unaccepted and unappreciated (although I am part of the leadership of this particular group)).
All my life my church – whatever it was at the time – was a major source of community for me, and in my childhood and youth a haven from a dysfunctional family. Apart from my recent experience, I have mainly lost this source of fellowship, the church is on life support and unlikely to survive,
I am sorry. I hope and pray a new door will open with new friends and a new since of fellowship.
I’m so sorry, Delores.
I know the sting of rejection and
non acceptance well. I hope you can
pivot and use this as an opportunity
to find community.
My heart goes out to you, Dolores.
Thank you both, Charlie and Carol and Deanne. That means a lot to me. This is one of those places where I feel very accepted and part of a fellowship.
Grateful for my family who taught me to DO well and for my chosen spiritual family, supporting to simply BE and to be simple, lovingly cultivating stillness, who thankfully are still present and kind sometimes almost against all odds and of which this online group is beloved part of; the community of professional friends, the kindred hearts of my little meditation group at home still committed to the Sangha and our weekly meetings; and the community of kindred fellow people bikers exploring nature at its best for example – all part of the grand community of all fellow living beings.
OMG! Yes! The biking community!
Thank god for bicycles and the
crazy people who are attracted to
them. It’s been such a big part of my
life.
Over the years I’ve found connection and community in many places and contexts, in every part of my life. Some have been serendipitous, some I created myself, some I sought out. If I’m open to community I find it and it finds me as long as I act in community with others.
I’m deeply embedded in the bike advocacy community; I started as a volunteer and took on leadership roles that led directly to my professional life of the last 12 years. In the town I lived in for a long time I started a friendship group among women I knew professionally that I wanted to connect with as friends and found many responded to that invitation–the group continued meeting for over a decade and when I moved away I handed off the monthly email responsibility to someone else who kept it going a while. I’m going to start something similar where I am now. Creating a time and space for connection enables community bonding and belonging. Most recently I took a couple of different introductory improv classes and found a wonderful community there. A husband/wife couple who participated is holding a potluck next week for all of us “improv friends.” I’ll have to miss it but I’m on the list for future gatherings.
I find community happening all around me. I live in the state capital and we have a lot of events that bring people together. Last weekend was Arts Walk and the Procession of the Species (which I admit I skipped because of the rain and now I’m sorry I missed it–next year!). The weekend before I co-led one of the groups in the annual Earth Day Market Ride, a bike community event. Walking downtown yesterday my husband and I encountered a protest against what’s happening in Gaza. The farmers’ market bustles every week, and this time of year it runs four days a week. Simply walking my neighborhood loop, as I do several times most days, places me in community with my neighbors who are also walking or out working in their yards.
I miss having the yoga community I had in a former hometown. My best friend was an instructor, others in the class became familiar acquaintances. I can practice at home with an app but the community and class schedule keep me more connected and I need to seek that out.
Of course there are cyclists among
us! This makes me happy.
Me too, Charlie!
Once again, I look back to the Word of the Day: ” Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.— CHUANG-TZU”
This is why we need community. We need each other. This can bring us greater happiness and peace.
Of course, it also comes from ourself. Wholeness is an important part of my journey. I still feel community is a necessary part of our personal growth.
I’m grateful for this community. I don’t comment all the time, but I still read all the comments. And I plan to interact on the lounge sometime.
My family and extended family for sure. Sempre Famigila!
My group of girlfriends, FOTF (friends of the friendless). We met in Catholic School 40+ years ago.
My neighborhood community who pack lunches every Sunday for the unhoused and hungry. Since the pandemic. Every Sunday rain or shine!
My work team. I’m lead a small team of young creative development execs and am enjoying our vibe together.
All the beautiful faces I see on Tuesdays when my husband receives cancer treatment. We don’t say much but we are in solidarity.
Sole Sisters Running Club! We are moving a lot differently than we did 10 years ago!
I feel in community with the Natural World – trees, birds, ocean…
Carly J, I agree with you on the staff at a cancer treatment center. We experience that feeling on Mondays.
I’ve found a sense of community within my earthly family. They’ve been there for me when needed most, have continued to make me feel protected from the chaotic materialistic world, provided a strong healing environment, and accepted me for who I am. I subscribe to the common belief, especially among Asian communities, that our earthly family members are the only people who are garenteed to stay with us while everyone else we encounter comes and goes during our lifetime.
This Online Grateful Community
My Monday Nighter Irish Dance Group Community
LGBT Community
Michele, I’m happy for you. Being able to find communities that fit our needs goes a long ways in nurturing our overall health. We live in a social world.
As a small child, I found community in family. Even though my parents divorced, they both nurtured my growth with the support of extended family. My Mom’s family was quite large and most lived close by. My Dad’s family was not local but my father made sure I knew my grandparents and his brothers and sisters with frequent trips to visit them.
Over the years, I’ve been active in church communities, community theatre groups, and my sense of community was highly influenced by over 20 years in a 12-step community for the families and friends of alcoholics.
These days, I have definitely found a loving and life-giving community here on gratefulness.org. I’m also involved in community at the local public library and the local council on aging where I participate in many interesting gatherings.
Carol, I’m glad you have such a loving and supportive family. That goes a long ways. Ngoc and I have mentioned that one of our favorite aspects about the American culture we’ve noticed is despite people getting divorced, they still manage to stay as friends and provide for their children. I’ve heard stories from a few friends about that too.
I listened to the Tricycle Talks podcast episode “Transmuting Generational Grief” with Jungwon Kim, a human rights advocate. In this episode, she shared having many different “pods” (a term popularized during the height of COVID-19) of her communities. It struck me that one community isn’t adequate for my various needs. I am fortunate to have several pods, online and in-person. I have this sacred space, the Grateful Living community space (https://community.grateful.org/c/lounge?post_login_redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fcommunity.grateful.org%2F%3Fautomatic_login%3Dtrue check that out, too) my Unity North spiritual home, my virtual ashram, my meditation women’s Satsang, my job community, my women’s heart community, and even a burgeoning one with two outdoor groups I participate in. Some communities overlap, and others are separate. I love stretching into diverse spaces.
At the beach, I have a great surf community and many of us have known each other so long that we are like family.
In the churches I have gone to over the years.
This website also offers a great community!