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A time of solitude taught me more about “ME”. What I like to become personally and professionally and how I would like to live.
I became partially disabled at about age forty. My body, bones, nerves, muscles and abilities have worsened since then. Almost thirty years. As abilities have been eliminated one by one, and the pain is constant, i have become more isolated. Me!….the one who craves quiet and peace to get totally immersed into a project, writing, working, whatever. I’m so glad it’s me that must endure because most people I know would go crazy. I have learned that even I can reach a limit of enjoying solitude. I have seen that in the bigger scheme, I am such a tiny part of the world. I’ve realized I’ve had a bigger ego than I thought, because I miss being listened to, miss being sought out for opinion and help problem solving. I miss giving direction, teaching, being respected.
So I suppose the gifts are many: humility, new perspectives. A gift of having to let go of beloved pastimes and learn new skills, develop new interests, expanding my horizons!
As I grow older I view my solitude as a gift. Perhaps a feeling of freedom to do whatever I wish on my days off. Monday i will travel and stay over at a hotel by myself but also look forward to spending time with a dear friend while there.
Have a great trip Robin:)
attend to the attention of The minds, tension.. business of accepting and rejecting, so Often my mind becomes My own worst enemy…My best friend at times As one should not eat too much nor eat too little, sleep too much nor sleep too little.
The self knowledge came to me through the network of senses, leading to ignorance to become responsible for my own mental health which then is seen as a blessing in disguise.
I think it is the deep listening. The listening into the silence. So too with the stillness, as if listening for a movement. But at the same time there is a knowingness – like a knowing I am with a dear friend but without a physical separation. It also brings with it moments in the stillness and silence of “seeing” self as it is – body here, mind over there and this life energy pulsing all around. They seem to be one, but there is really three. Perhaps these moments are moments of being receptive to Grace.
Thought provoking Don. Thank You.
The realization that I am not alone.
What comes to mind, after 3+ years of working from home and therefore spending many more hours with my spouse in the same space than I ever had before, is the special quiet when I have the house to myself, preferably on a weekend. Not that I don’t love him and I appreciate being able to take a walk break holding hands through our neighborhood. But there’s just something about that feeling of spaciousness and possibility.
Poems that articulate some of this:
“Bath, In House Alone” by Kay N. Sanders https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2013/01/kay-n-sanders-bath-in-house-alone.html
“The Work of Happiness” by May Sarton https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2015/08/may-sarton-work-of-happiness.html
I know exactly what you mean, Barb. I love my husband early, but he has much less need for solitude than I, and during the pandemic sometimes our house wasn’t big enough for the two of us. But we work it out, right?
Sorry, I meant “dearly,” of course.
Early, late, it’s all good! (I often reread my comment and then hit “edit” when I find a typo. I worked for years as a copy editor and it’s painful to see my own errors when instead I could simply acknowledge they exist and move on. A lesson for me here!)
I am still evolving and learning to be
with myself. Solitude was different for
me at twenty, than it is now. When I am
by myself, I am more intentional than I
was and I cherish the time I get to spend
practicing meditation or yoga or in
Times of solitude afford me a greater awareness of myself. I find doing breath exercises helps me relax and get into the zone of greater awareness because it puts me in touch with the tensions in my body and the unhealthy musings dwelling in my mind so I can let them go.
I share a quote from an article I found helpful on the subject of solitude. Don’t know who wrote it.
“…Solitude has a bad reputation. We tend to think of it as a lonely state. Nothing can be further from the truth. We need the rich soil of solitude to grow into ourselves. Spend a few minutes each day in solitude. Turn off your cell phone and TV and just let yourself be in stillness. Gradually, as you befriend solitude, rather than flee from it, you will begin to hear the voice of your own authentic self…To be in solitude takes patience. Patience allows us to stay in the present so that we can reflect and change. Most of us are feverishly impatient. We want change and we want it now. Being in solitude takes patience so that we have time to rest, reflect, and restore ourselves. That’s when we start to listen to ourselves so that true change can happen…”
Peace, a grateful heart for this time of quiet, a time to connect with my soul.
My benefits from solitude, is an inner calm and strength to move forward. It is a connection to my soul.
‘connection to my soul’ – love that
I can’t think of any ‘gifts’ . Solitude brings peace and quiet, times to be able to cry in private, self-reflection.
It is generally in solitude that I receive “aha!” moments.
I recall a time when solitude was a scary unknow place, not often visited and extremely difficult to go to n stay at. Today being 2 months clean (not for the 1st time) I enjoy the situation that bringe to solitude willingly or unwillingly. I visit it way morning often and stay for a long visit as it helps me regather myself n #1 thing is I’M SAFE because, its a nonjudgmental, free of stress,
no one to cause aggravation, no annoying people to pull me of of character and/or make me fly off the handle, I can be me and enjoy the quality quiet time I receive during solitude moments.
Thank you for sharing Shannon. I hope you find this site helpful and wish you well in your sobriety. I appreciate reading your thoughts since my daughter is now on a new journey as well.
Shannon, I too am on a sober journey and not the first time I have quit using alcohol, either. Love, Peace and Kindness your way.
Shannon, thank you for being here
and I admire your honesty. I like the
“I am safe” phrase. I also tell myself
this when I feel out of control or
Beautiful! I wish you the very best on your journey to staying clean. You deserve it, you are worthy of your feeling of safety. More power to you! Thank you for sharing your journey.
That I am not alone and I am loved beyond measure.
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