Reflections

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  1. Robin Ann

    We are all a work in progress. I accept my imperfections but also try to improve upon them.

    6 months ago
  2. Don Jones

    Through a heartfelt knowledge. These (so called) imperfections are for me an obstacle between me and someone. The imperfection doesn’t become the other, but something that just needs to be navigated.

    6 months ago
  3. Emmaleah

    This is something I struggle with a great deal. It is easy for me to embrace the imperfections of others, but challenging for me to get past the shame I have long held surrounding my own faults. I will keep trying. Reading all the comments here is helpful as usual. Thank you all for your wisdom 💓

    6 months ago
  4. Barb C

    I long ago realized and fully accepted that who I am now is the product of everything I’ve done. Much of it has been imperfect but I like who I am now, scars and all, and all of my life experiences brought me here, not only the pretty or happy ones.

    I wrote a blog post on this a couple of years ago that I think I’ve shared before (https://biketoworkbarb.blogspot.com/2021/12/walking-path.html). An excerpt from that:

    “…if I want to review the path behind through a framework in which I consider myself a person who makes mistakes, I’ll definitely find mistakes to dwell on. If I want to review it through a framework in which I consider myself a kind person, or a caring person, or a person who likes to try new things, I’ll find those moments as well.”

    “Rebus” by Jane Hirschfeld says a lot for me on this question. https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2015/10/jane-hirshfield-rebus.html

    You work with what you are given,
    the red clay of grief,
    the black clay of stubbornness going on after.
    Clay that tastes of care or carelessness,
    clay that smells of the bottoms of rivers or dust.

    Each thought is a life you have lived or failed to live,
    each word is a dish you have eaten or left on the table.
    There are honeys so bitter
    no one would willingly choose to take them.
    The clay takes them: honey of weariness, honey of vanity,
    honey of cruelty, fear.

    This rebus—slip and stubbornness,
    bottom of river, my own consumed life—
    when will I learn to read it
    plainly, slowly, uncolored by hope or desire?
    Not to understand it, only to see.

    As water given sugar sweetens, given salt grows salty,
    we become our choices.
    Each yes, each no continues,
    this one a ladder, that one an anvil or cup.

    The ladder leans into its darkness.
    The anvil leans into its silence.
    The cup sits empty.

    How can I enter this question the clay has asked?

    And also “The Joins” by Chana Bloch. https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2015/02/chana-bloch-joins.html

    What’s between us
    often seems flexible as the webbing
    between forefinger and thumb.

    Seems flexible, but it’s not;
    what’s between us
    is made of clay,

    like any cup on the shelf.
    It shatters easily. Repair
    becomes the task.

    We glue the wounded edges
    with tentative fingers.
    Scar tissue is visible history,

    the cup more precious to us
    because
    we saved it.

    In the art of kintsugi,
    a potter repairing a broken cup
    would sprinkle the resin

    with powdered gold.
    Sometimes the joins
    are so exquisite

    they say the potter
    may have broken the cup
    just so he could mend it.

    6 months ago
    1. Carol

      Thank You, Barb…your post provides a very welcome lift to my spirit.

      6 months ago
  5. C
    Christopher Le Flore

    The more progress I make toward accepting my own imperfections, and loving myself in spite of them, the better I am at accepting the imperfections of others.

    I’ve always struggled with procrastination and perfectionism, and they’re related. The perfectionism feeds the procrastination; “if I can do it better than anybody else then why do it at all?” I’ve found that just getting started and not getting stuck on making specific parts of the undertaking perfect results in progress. So many times I’ve submitted work that wasn’t up to my own standard and found that it was considered to be of high quality to others. They don’t see the imperfections like I do. They are able to see the whole.

    6 months ago
  6. Charlie T

    Ah yes, perfection. The enemy of the good.
    Or as I like to say, the enemy of good enough.
    I try to embrace imperfection every day.
    What I mean is, I’m aiming for perfection,
    but knowing that I will not get there.
    And that’s okay. Getting things done,
    moving forward, showing up, and getting
    started are what’s important.
    Perfection is a big topic. Thanks for the
    prompt to dig into it.

    6 months ago
  7. Yram

    I grew up with “why aren’t you more like your……” I am still trying to meet someone else’s idea of how I am to be. I know I am unique. My perfection may be someone else’s imperfection. This is how I grow and learn. Wholeness has both and.

    6 months ago
    1. Joseph McCann

      That sounds difficult at best and downright sad at worst. I am glad you now embrace yourself Yram.

      6 months ago
    2. Barb C

      This reminds me of a quotation I’ve read attributed to Helena Bonham Carter: “Be yourself. No one else can.”

      6 months ago
  8. sunnypatti

    I’ve always been a perfectionist. I’ve gotten better about it the past several years as I have learned to love myself more, which also means that I can see the imperfections in myself and accept them. I still strive for the best in all that I do, but I know it’s not always going to be “perfect,” which is completely subjective anyway.

    6 months ago
  9. Maeve

    I am not interested in being a perfectionist. But I also don’t want to embrace my habit of procrastination either. There are parts of my life that I need and want to handle better. Doesn’t make me a perfectionist. It would bring a sense of order and calm.

    6 months ago
  10. Nannette

    I am imperfect and I accept that as a fact. I try and try at several behaviors that I seem to fail in. But what is important to me is that I still get up and try again. Because it is in not getting up that we fail. As a child I was belittled constantly…so I never thought I was anything more than imperfect. Now as I age…I just accept that I am who I am….I try to be better as much as I can.

    6 months ago
    1. Joseph McCann

      That sounds very tough on a young person. I am glad you share your insights here with us all, Nannette.

      6 months ago
  11. Mary Mantei

    Perfectionism is so over-rated in my book. It is exhausting, stressful, unhealthy, not to mention unattainable in most instances. Seeing something or someone as perfect or imperfect is a judgment, one I don’t want to waste my time on. I have learned to look for the whimsy, the uniqueness, the wani sabi if you will in life. It makes life more interesting for me. If you think this reflection comes from a recovering perfectionist, you are very perceptive my Friend.😉

    6 months ago
    1. Barb C

      This led me to look up wabi sabi, which I knew sounded familiar but I couldn’t quite recall. What a wonderful philosophical stance. Thank you for leading me back to it. https://www.omaritani.com/blog/wabi-sabi-philosophy-teachings

      6 months ago
  12. Joseph McCann

    Acceptance in a word. I know no one, including myself. who likes to screw up or fail. It is an afront to my/our egoic mind. If I accept the concept of my imperfection I can then step back, examine and try to correct, with practice, my failures and my faults.

    6 months ago
  13. Laura

    I am trying to come to a more balanced view of myself. That means acknowledging and accepting both my strengths and my imperfections. For too many years, I focused on trying to correct and improve what I perceived to be my flaws without appreciating and nurturing the strengths I already had.

    6 months ago
  14. Avril

    In my tradition, we believe the ego gets confused and becomes the source of the belief that we are anything other than the Divine expressing as us. I believe that with meditation, prayer, contemplación and generosity we can purify the ego get it uncolored from all the gunk that we pick up in the world and remember our perfection, not in some comparative unattainable way, but really perfect as divine expression. The daily quote today says this so succinctly.

    6 months ago
    1. Barb C

      Glad to see you back, Avril! It’s been a while.

      6 months ago
      1. Avril

        Thanks Barb

        5 months ago
  15. Michele

    Embrace the imperfection in myself as well as others.

    6 months ago
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