I have not always experienced ‘gratefulness amidst grief’ . . .
sometimes
the grief has been so profound
that I could not make room for gratitude,
and sometimes
gratitude only comes later,
after the anguish has done gnashing its teeth on my bones.
Sometimes
it just slips in
unannounced . . .
like Carl Sandburg’s cat. ♥
Reflecting recently of death of of my children’s Dad. I experienced feeling blessed for my children and many years of many great memories and adventures while married and with him for 22 yrs of my life.
I am so grateful for the hospice team who served our family as my brother passed, who I am still grieving. The team was very knowledgeable and professional as well as genuinely empathetic.
When have i experienced gratefulness amid grief?
– When some time ago in a dream picture but quite real, I felt being held in care and consoloation and stillness as a newborn by a dear one with a big heart, me being in a state then almost dead and completely exhausted by fighting internally for my life due to a medical destructive blood process,in an isolating and deserted surrounding inside and out. The bonding with my mother was gone to the clouds during 4 months of separation as a newborn. Since, I am on my way to healing, it cured something inside which never could heal with whatsoever therapy I tried to. It was life – saving, and for this moment of true care, I am deeply grateful.
Many years ago, when I was in my mid 20s and newly married, my father committed suicide. Loosing him devastated me. Two positive things came of it. First, with help of a therapist I learned that one reason was that my Dad was a main sustainer in my life as a teen ager and young adult as my mother pulled out of our lives. And secondly I learned that I could share with others that one can survive a loved one killing themselves and reach out and help others to whom the same thing happened. When another relative committed suicide i was able to reach out to his family with an understanding that others did not have. For those things I am grateful. Im now 85 and there is still grief around the loss of my Dad. Thats oK
Yes,
dear Carol . . .
take a breath–
it is okay.
Thank you for telling us about this important part of your life . . .
I am grateful you are alive
to help others
and yourself
with this experience. ♥
Such a tragedy what happened to you as a teenager, especially the suicide of your Dad, but also the withdrawal of your mother around the same time, which to me feels like being lost in a way. I’m really sorry for what you’ve had to go through, and sometimes a wound never heals. Such a blessing that you could be there for others in a similar situation so that by now you can be grateful for your extraordinary and heartfelt assistance and care for people suffering of the same devastating loss as you once had to bear. Please know that we are here with you also, even if your deep despair and loss happened long ago. Your grief, and your courage and your big heart is held in our hearts and in the same time in His Love.
Br. David’s work opened me to seeing everything as opportunity. Thich Nhat Hahn showed me that since everything is impermanent we have to fan the flame of what is good and brings joy. I see these two philosophies overlap. Everything is impermanent so I will fan the flame of gratefulness even in sad moments. I am en route to a funeral as I type. A friends husband died in his sleep. I am deeply sorry for her loss and I am grateful that she had this love, this life, and their children. Grief doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive.
Two years ago on June 27th my sister Mary died. I had watched her suffer so much. When she took her last breath and I will never forget how peaceful she looked. She was finally out of pain. I miss her very much but I am grateful that she no longer suffers.
It was just recently during Ngoc’s absence. My root people, especially my mom, were very caring. They kepted me companied by approaching and joking with me. My communication style began to change.
I started becoming more straight-forward. After all, as the bible says, our sheep hear our voice. Knowing This helps my listener or reader and me by saving us from repetition, suspicion, and distancing. Above all else, life feels simpler too.
When we get straight to the point, we adapt better. Our brains are de-cluttered.
Being able to speak from all sides is commendable. It feels gentle. There’s only so much one can do with that. There are times where truth is just truth.
My new-found straight to the point communication style has helped me speak the truth with grace without effort and sacrifice. I learned it from my mom. Without Ngoc, I became closer to her. It sped up the process and brought me back to where I come from.
Looking back on the intense time when my husband experienced major medical issues and a very long medical facility stay, I am grateful for the medical team. I am also grateful for all the concern and support I received. In the end he transitioned quickly and at home.
i am grateful with you,
dear Yram,
that your husband
‘transitioned quickly and at home.’
This happened for my father as well,
and I am grateful for that as well. ♥
Thank you.
My Mom’s funeral comes to mind. Many kind words spoken. Also how the family all came together when my Nanny was dx with cancer – all taking turns taking her to radiology appts. Grateful for my family.
Covid time – grateful for Zoom and connections
This site is a balm too.
FWIW and if anyone is interested, somehow my comments went to a “pending” folder, which I didn’t know existed. If this ever happens to you, you can email the grateful team directly at [email protected]
Right now, during this time of drought in the San Luis Valley and throughout the southwestern US. Yesterday the skies were full of wildfire smoke from Utah. 3 days into summer, and no relief in site. There is only one paintbrush inside the ditch bank and one out, as of yesterday afternoon. I hope those flowers were as tasty as pretty. I am grateful they nourished an unknown being. I am grateful for what water melted out. We were able to have enough to raise one hay crop. I will cut next week. The groundwater is holding up, I checked the depth to water yesterday, 32′ 4 ” to static. The peas and potatoes are flowering, lettuce, spinach, kale are growing and we have picked some radishes. Fresh greens soon. I am grateful for this and this special place to be able to express this feeling.
Agua es Vida.
Peace, Love & Light.
I am grateful with you,
dear Joseph,
that you are getting some growth in your garden
despite the lack of rain . . .
may the water in your well hold up.
I wish I could send you some of ours . . . ♥
Quote from Francis Weller is true- Grief is sacred work. When I’m overcome by sudden loss of cherished people in my life, being grateful for the many emotional or spiritual gifts they’ve given me, is not the first emotion I have. It takes me a little while. I’m reminded of a line from poet Kahil Gibran: “oh to know the pain of too much tenderness.” With those I’ve loved deeply, the depth of my sorrow coincides. Only by taking their eternal love for me into my heart, do I begin to heal, and know they are still with me. Gratitude then trickles into my memories of them.
It takes what time it takes,
dear Carla . . .
there are no rules on this one.
The depth of gratitude for those you love deeply
will eventually exceed
the depth of your grief. ♥
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I have not always experienced ‘gratefulness amidst grief’ . . .
sometimes
the grief has been so profound
that I could not make room for gratitude,
and sometimes
gratitude only comes later,
after the anguish has done gnashing its teeth on my bones.
Sometimes
it just slips in
unannounced . . .
like Carl Sandburg’s cat. ♥
Reflecting recently of death of of my children’s Dad. I experienced feeling blessed for my children and many years of many great memories and adventures while married and with him for 22 yrs of my life.
I am so grateful for the hospice team who served our family as my brother passed, who I am still grieving. The team was very knowledgeable and professional as well as genuinely empathetic.
When have i experienced gratefulness amid grief?
– When some time ago in a dream picture but quite real, I felt being held in care and consoloation and stillness as a newborn by a dear one with a big heart, me being in a state then almost dead and completely exhausted by fighting internally for my life due to a medical destructive blood process,in an isolating and deserted surrounding inside and out. The bonding with my mother was gone to the clouds during 4 months of separation as a newborn. Since, I am on my way to healing, it cured something inside which never could heal with whatsoever therapy I tried to. It was life – saving, and for this moment of true care, I am deeply grateful.
Thank you for the “long post”, dear Ose.
Many years ago, when I was in my mid 20s and newly married, my father committed suicide. Loosing him devastated me. Two positive things came of it. First, with help of a therapist I learned that one reason was that my Dad was a main sustainer in my life as a teen ager and young adult as my mother pulled out of our lives. And secondly I learned that I could share with others that one can survive a loved one killing themselves and reach out and help others to whom the same thing happened. When another relative committed suicide i was able to reach out to his family with an understanding that others did not have. For those things I am grateful. Im now 85 and there is still grief around the loss of my Dad. Thats oK
Yes,
dear Carol . . .
take a breath–
it is okay.
Thank you for telling us about this important part of your life . . .
I am grateful you are alive
to help others
and yourself
with this experience. ♥
Such a tragedy what happened to you as a teenager, especially the suicide of your Dad, but also the withdrawal of your mother around the same time, which to me feels like being lost in a way. I’m really sorry for what you’ve had to go through, and sometimes a wound never heals. Such a blessing that you could be there for others in a similar situation so that by now you can be grateful for your extraordinary and heartfelt assistance and care for people suffering of the same devastating loss as you once had to bear. Please know that we are here with you also, even if your deep despair and loss happened long ago. Your grief, and your courage and your big heart is held in our hearts and in the same time in His Love.
Carol Wall, often times, the best healing technique is helping those going through similar challenges as us. At least 2 people are healing.
Br. David’s work opened me to seeing everything as opportunity. Thich Nhat Hahn showed me that since everything is impermanent we have to fan the flame of what is good and brings joy. I see these two philosophies overlap. Everything is impermanent so I will fan the flame of gratefulness even in sad moments. I am en route to a funeral as I type. A friends husband died in his sleep. I am deeply sorry for her loss and I am grateful that she had this love, this life, and their children. Grief doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive.
sorry for your loss of your friend’s spouse, so sad.
No,
dear Avril . . .
grief and gratitude
are not mutually exclusive.
There is still much to be grateful for. ♥
Two years ago on June 27th my sister Mary died. I had watched her suffer so much. When she took her last breath and I will never forget how peaceful she looked. She was finally out of pain. I miss her very much but I am grateful that she no longer suffers.
It was just recently during Ngoc’s absence. My root people, especially my mom, were very caring. They kepted me companied by approaching and joking with me. My communication style began to change.
I started becoming more straight-forward. After all, as the bible says, our sheep hear our voice. Knowing This helps my listener or reader and me by saving us from repetition, suspicion, and distancing. Above all else, life feels simpler too.
When we get straight to the point, we adapt better. Our brains are de-cluttered.
Being able to speak from all sides is commendable. It feels gentle. There’s only so much one can do with that. There are times where truth is just truth.
My new-found straight to the point communication style has helped me speak the truth with grace without effort and sacrifice. I learned it from my mom. Without Ngoc, I became closer to her. It sped up the process and brought me back to where I come from.
Looking back on the intense time when my husband experienced major medical issues and a very long medical facility stay, I am grateful for the medical team. I am also grateful for all the concern and support I received. In the end he transitioned quickly and at home.
i am grateful with you,
dear Yram,
that your husband
‘transitioned quickly and at home.’
This happened for my father as well,
and I am grateful for that as well. ♥
Thank you.
My Mom’s funeral comes to mind. Many kind words spoken. Also how the family all came together when my Nanny was dx with cancer – all taking turns taking her to radiology appts. Grateful for my family.
Covid time – grateful for Zoom and connections
This site is a balm too.
When we moved to Charlotte after the hurricane hit the mountains, which we had just moved to! It was an emotional time, to say the least.
Also, I tried commenting on Carla’s post, and it did not post, so not sure this will either!
FWIW and if anyone is interested, somehow my comments went to a “pending” folder, which I didn’t know existed. If this ever happens to you, you can email the grateful team directly at [email protected]
FWIW = For What It’s Worth – head to search that one, LOL
Right now, during this time of drought in the San Luis Valley and throughout the southwestern US. Yesterday the skies were full of wildfire smoke from Utah. 3 days into summer, and no relief in site. There is only one paintbrush inside the ditch bank and one out, as of yesterday afternoon. I hope those flowers were as tasty as pretty. I am grateful they nourished an unknown being. I am grateful for what water melted out. We were able to have enough to raise one hay crop. I will cut next week. The groundwater is holding up, I checked the depth to water yesterday, 32′ 4 ” to static. The peas and potatoes are flowering, lettuce, spinach, kale are growing and we have picked some radishes. Fresh greens soon. I am grateful for this and this special place to be able to express this feeling.
Agua es Vida.
Peace, Love & Light.
Wishing for rain in your area, we did get a big soak this week in my neck of the woods which we needed as well.
I am grateful with you,
dear Joseph,
that you are getting some growth in your garden
despite the lack of rain . . .
may the water in your well hold up.
I wish I could send you some of ours . . . ♥
🌞💦🌱
Quote from Francis Weller is true- Grief is sacred work. When I’m overcome by sudden loss of cherished people in my life, being grateful for the many emotional or spiritual gifts they’ve given me, is not the first emotion I have. It takes me a little while. I’m reminded of a line from poet Kahil Gibran: “oh to know the pain of too much tenderness.” With those I’ve loved deeply, the depth of my sorrow coincides. Only by taking their eternal love for me into my heart, do I begin to heal, and know they are still with me. Gratitude then trickles into my memories of them.
It takes what time it takes,
dear Carla . . .
there are no rules on this one.
The depth of gratitude for those you love deeply
will eventually exceed
the depth of your grief. ♥
💗
Thank you, Carla 🙏🏼
🙏🏼