I have been making some good progress in self care, exercise and weight loss. However, I am realizing I am avoiding a difficult conversation with my spouse that I know will not be received well and will take some time to come to a conclusion. Patience and presence will be helpful in working through this with him.
I hear you Kelly. I just had one of those conversations with my husband
that I had been putting off for several months.
It was not easy, but we got through it.
Sending my best.
♥️
I am waiting impatiently for my daughter’s disability to be approved. It was denied the first time which every one says is normal. I just wonder how long it will go on for. She struggles with so many health concerns so it seems obvious to me. She is working about 20 hours now which is very helpful. It is so important that we stay the course but sometimes it does feel very frustrating. I am so very grateful for her sobriety so that keeps me focused.
As someone who works with families with many disabilities it is a very frustrating process for most. Stick with it, those who don’t give up succeed and know you are not alone in this journey. If you hit a road block try to find someone in your area / state that can help you. Like an advocate.
The demon of self hatred,
and not being good enough
haunted my life for more years than I would like to admit.
I felt
that I had good reasons to despise myself,
and I acted out,
although privately . . .
I self harmed,
and was what they call a ‘cutter.’
I didn’t know it was an actual ‘thing’
until I saw an interview with someone on television,
and was both horrified,
feeling I’d been found out,
and relieved to know
that I was not the only one.
Although I continued to practice this
for many years,
I realized
that I wasn’t really trying to punish myself,
but trying to escape the pain of it
by creating a bigger pain
that would take my attention
from the spiritual and psychic pain.
One time
I was so overwrought
I did it in front of an abusive lover,
and started carving his name into my arm.
He said to me,
“that’s great!
Keep doing it until you get my whole name on there.”
I needed stitches for that event.
Years later
I found compassion in my therapist,
and in the resources she provided for me . . .
they all came together and suddenly made sense to me
when I read Eckhart Tolle’s book,
“A New Earth”.
He wasn’t really saying anything else from the great minds I had been reading,
but the way he said it
reached down into me
and began to make me whole . . .
gave me something to grasp on to.
And then I found the gratefulness website.
Oh, believe me,
I still have ‘bad’ days,
but am never, never tempted to go back there . . .
I have found a solid and sure
way out.
My scars are softer now,
and old . . .
they are just reminders of where I was
and how much pain I was in.
I remain cautious,
but I don’t think I will ever go back to those demons
and that dark place.
I am grateful to be alive,
no matter what challenges come to greet me . . .
I might be taken down a step or two,
but Gratitude has saved me,
and that Gratitude is stronger than ever.
Thank you for listening. ♥
Thank you for this deep and authentic sharing, Sparrow, and for all of your sharings in this community. I am so grateful that you are a part of this community and I always look forward to reading your responses. Sending love ♥️
Sparrow, Thank you for your vulnerbaility and honesty. You’ve given me some insight. My daughter has a history of cutting. She has a big day of auditions today and I just sent her a message of love. Now I’ll hold you both tenderly in my heart.
Dear Sparrow,
Thank you for sharing about this deeply painful time in your life.
I admire you for your candor and authenticity.
But I mostly admire you,
for being the kind, wise and beautiful soul
that I have come to know on this gratefulness site.
Thank you for being you.
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
This question kind of stumps me. I think I am at an exciting time of my life and look forward to new opportunities every day brings me. One thing I am slightly lacking on is studying for my boards. I want to take my boards next month which requires a lot of studying. However everyday I am making it priorities to exercise, stretch, practice gratefulness, and spend time with friends and current coworkers who I will be leaving soon. I am going to wake myself up early tomorrow, go to an exercise class, and spend the morning and day studying before my evening shift! I am grateful for the opportunities to move my body and exercise my brain as well! I look forward to a productive day tomorrow!
What comes to mind is a series of imaginative exercises. I think my resistance contributes to me feeling stuck in terms of career. I’ll write scenarios for how it is possible to be grateful for the things I am resisting. I am grateful that my burnout came around the time of the rise of artificial intelligence—this is auspicious timing! I am grateful for technology. I am grateful for the many people in the city. I am grateful for the speed of communications. If I do a 5-minute freewrite on each of these sentences, I can see if I can crank open that resistance and find little currents of new insight.
An area where I am having some trouble moving forward in my life is self acceptance.
For instance, I notice when I come back to the Daily Question each evening,
that when I see my own icon and name, I think to myself, “Oh no, what did I write?”
I get concerned that what I wrote will sound foolish or that I didn’t answer the question.
I get even more concerned when I respond to someone else’s response.
I always mean well, but I get concerned that I have given advice or come off like a know it all,
or that I am acting as if I am someone’s mother,
or worst of all that I might sound condescending. Ugh.
I know that I overthink things,
but I also know my concerns may help me amend my response so that they more accurately
reflect what I’m trying to say.
In other areas I have trouble accepting myself when I notice that I have allowed myself to be diverted
from what I had originally intended to accomplish.
In general I just get annoyed with myself for not
picking up after myself, and for allowing clutter to build up, and for just not being very organized.
I also get upset with myself when I think I look fat, or old, or if my posture looks bad. Oh my.
That last line is so harsh, it’s kind of funny.
So I’m a lot of fun to be with in my head- NOT.
I correct myself throughout the day for being self critical.
Even with all of the above, I do truly love myself, and I know that I’m a good person.
Gratefulness could help me by allowing me to appreciate who I am
and my own innate goodness.
My intention for today is to be accepting of who I am,
both the free Mary and the critical Mary
and to accept myself with much love and appreciation for the person that I am.
Mary, I really appreciate you and all of the responses that you write. I don’t always write responses to all of the wonderful things that people write here because I have found that I seem to benefit the most from this Daily Question exercise when I walk a middle path and don’t spend too much time writing responses. Otherwise, I find myself spending too much time on it and then want to withdraw altogether from the Daily Question! Sending much love to you on your journey, and I am so glad that even with the struggles (many which I can identify with!) you still do truly love yourself and know that you’re a good person. That is big! ♥️
Hi Mary! Thank you for sharing! I appreciate your realness in sharing your thought processes with us <3. I have been here before a million times. I try to stop myself from overthinking little things. One thing I try to always remember is no one is more focused on me than myself. I may be overanalyzing these little actions but other people are more focused on themselves!
Mary, I want you to know that I so appreciate your posts and comments here. You are keen, thoughtful, supportive, and honest with yourself. Wishing you a day full of kindness and acceptance. PS. as someone who has also struggled with self-criticism, I’ve become quite the fan of Kristen Neff’s self-compassion work — pasting an example here in case you find it of interest — https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/#guided-practices
Thank you Drea for reading all of that.
Since you responded I took out two paragraphs because my answer was so long.
I do know of Kristen Neff and have found her work in self compassion to be very
helpful. I have not used her exercises lately,
but it’s time to go back to her, so thank you so much!
Yes, I feel like I am at a crossroads. Gratefulness brings me to the present and realization of all that is good where I am. Today isn’t the day I have to pick a path.
I’m having trouble moving forward on more than one front at present and it is gratefulness that keeps me trudging along and reminds me that it is okay to trudge!
Yes, it is okay to trudge! Thanks for that, Carol. At least the world isn’t flashing by when we’re trudging. And we can hear the sounds of our footsteps.
I’m grateful that I’m letting go of my closed minded thoughts, beliefs, discernment, and judgements! All of those have stoped me from moving forward to Truth . Gratefulness comes naturally when I’m in the flow of nature’s flow..
I’m having trouble moving forward in observing my current fortune in my life. Specifically, when I was with Loc, I missed my family in Vietnam so much and I would love to meet them. Then, when I about to go visit my family in Vietnam, my mind pop up feelings of how much I would missing Loc. Now, I just arrived in Vietnam with mky family. Gratefulness wakes me up in noticing how fortune I am. The safe flights, my family greeted me with special welcoming. Especially, Loc is always there, who happy with me, share with me all my joy and challenges.
In some ways, having gratitude, can slow down my forward movement. It’s strange, I went from having almost no gratitude for anything, to finding gratefulness in almost any situation. Maybe even using it as an opiate, of sorts. That field of poppy’s on the way to Oz. Content to stay where I am.
But in general, practicing gratitude helps me live with more equanimity and to see more options and more paths forward and is a way out of my stuckness.
Maybe,
dear Charlie,
slowing down to be grateful
is not slowing down your forward movement at all.
Slowing down
does not have to mean you are stuck . . .
do take time to smell the roses.
It might be more beneficial than you think. ♥
Gratefulness already opened the pathways, and I am slowly but surely moving forward with my yoga. I need to apply for some jobs outside of the studio I go to, but it’s all working out and will continue to do so.
I currently don’t have any troubles with any areas of my life moving forward. I’m comfortable within my own skin and am proud of the man I’ve grown into.
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I have been making some good progress in self care, exercise and weight loss. However, I am realizing I am avoiding a difficult conversation with my spouse that I know will not be received well and will take some time to come to a conclusion. Patience and presence will be helpful in working through this with him.
I hear you Kelly. I just had one of those conversations with my husband
that I had been putting off for several months.
It was not easy, but we got through it.
Sending my best.
♥️
I am waiting impatiently for my daughter’s disability to be approved. It was denied the first time which every one says is normal. I just wonder how long it will go on for. She struggles with so many health concerns so it seems obvious to me. She is working about 20 hours now which is very helpful. It is so important that we stay the course but sometimes it does feel very frustrating. I am so very grateful for her sobriety so that keeps me focused.
As someone who works with families with many disabilities it is a very frustrating process for most. Stick with it, those who don’t give up succeed and know you are not alone in this journey. If you hit a road block try to find someone in your area / state that can help you. Like an advocate.
Thank you Kelli! She does have an attorney representing her. It is also hard since she is in Florida and I am in RI.
Being grateful for those small steps,
dear Robin Ann,
will get you closer,
one baby step at a time.
Sending my loving support to your daughter …. ♥
Thank you Sparrow!
The demon of self hatred,
and not being good enough
haunted my life for more years than I would like to admit.
I felt
that I had good reasons to despise myself,
and I acted out,
although privately . . .
I self harmed,
and was what they call a ‘cutter.’
I didn’t know it was an actual ‘thing’
until I saw an interview with someone on television,
and was both horrified,
feeling I’d been found out,
and relieved to know
that I was not the only one.
Although I continued to practice this
for many years,
I realized
that I wasn’t really trying to punish myself,
but trying to escape the pain of it
by creating a bigger pain
that would take my attention
from the spiritual and psychic pain.
One time
I was so overwrought
I did it in front of an abusive lover,
and started carving his name into my arm.
He said to me,
“that’s great!
Keep doing it until you get my whole name on there.”
I needed stitches for that event.
Years later
I found compassion in my therapist,
and in the resources she provided for me . . .
they all came together and suddenly made sense to me
when I read Eckhart Tolle’s book,
“A New Earth”.
He wasn’t really saying anything else from the great minds I had been reading,
but the way he said it
reached down into me
and began to make me whole . . .
gave me something to grasp on to.
And then I found the gratefulness website.
Oh, believe me,
I still have ‘bad’ days,
but am never, never tempted to go back there . . .
I have found a solid and sure
way out.
My scars are softer now,
and old . . .
they are just reminders of where I was
and how much pain I was in.
I remain cautious,
but I don’t think I will ever go back to those demons
and that dark place.
I am grateful to be alive,
no matter what challenges come to greet me . . .
I might be taken down a step or two,
but Gratitude has saved me,
and that Gratitude is stronger than ever.
Thank you for listening. ♥
Thank you for this deep and authentic sharing, Sparrow, and for all of your sharings in this community. I am so grateful that you are a part of this community and I always look forward to reading your responses. Sending love ♥️
I too,
am grateful for you
and for this community,
dear Elizabeth . . .
we hold each other up. ♥
Sparrow, Thank you for your vulnerbaility and honesty. You’ve given me some insight. My daughter has a history of cutting. She has a big day of auditions today and I just sent her a message of love. Now I’ll hold you both tenderly in my heart.
It helped me,
dear Avril,
to know I wasn’t the only one . . .
does your daughter know
that she’s not the only one?
As she goes to her auditions today
I will keep her in my heart
with love . . .
sparrow
♥
Dear Sparrow,
Thank you for sharing about this deeply painful time in your life.
I admire you for your candor and authenticity.
But I mostly admire you,
for being the kind, wise and beautiful soul
that I have come to know on this gratefulness site.
Thank you for being you.
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
It is because of people like you,
dear Mary,
that people like me
feel free to tell our stories . . . ♥
❤️ dear Sparrow.
Thank you,
dear Joseph . . .
I feel seen
without judgment. ♥
This question kind of stumps me. I think I am at an exciting time of my life and look forward to new opportunities every day brings me. One thing I am slightly lacking on is studying for my boards. I want to take my boards next month which requires a lot of studying. However everyday I am making it priorities to exercise, stretch, practice gratefulness, and spend time with friends and current coworkers who I will be leaving soon. I am going to wake myself up early tomorrow, go to an exercise class, and spend the morning and day studying before my evening shift! I am grateful for the opportunities to move my body and exercise my brain as well! I look forward to a productive day tomorrow!
Hope you’re all having a great week!
Are you avoiding,
dear Andrea?
I wonder
because I find myself
doing this too . . .
but now that I’m aware of it,
I am better able to stop doing it.
I believe that you can
do anything you set your mind to . . . ♥
What comes to mind is a series of imaginative exercises. I think my resistance contributes to me feeling stuck in terms of career. I’ll write scenarios for how it is possible to be grateful for the things I am resisting. I am grateful that my burnout came around the time of the rise of artificial intelligence—this is auspicious timing! I am grateful for technology. I am grateful for the many people in the city. I am grateful for the speed of communications. If I do a 5-minute freewrite on each of these sentences, I can see if I can crank open that resistance and find little currents of new insight.
An area where I am having some trouble moving forward in my life is self acceptance.
For instance, I notice when I come back to the Daily Question each evening,
that when I see my own icon and name, I think to myself, “Oh no, what did I write?”
I get concerned that what I wrote will sound foolish or that I didn’t answer the question.
I get even more concerned when I respond to someone else’s response.
I always mean well, but I get concerned that I have given advice or come off like a know it all,
or that I am acting as if I am someone’s mother,
or worst of all that I might sound condescending. Ugh.
I know that I overthink things,
but I also know my concerns may help me amend my response so that they more accurately
reflect what I’m trying to say.
In other areas I have trouble accepting myself when I notice that I have allowed myself to be diverted
from what I had originally intended to accomplish.
In general I just get annoyed with myself for not
picking up after myself, and for allowing clutter to build up, and for just not being very organized.
I also get upset with myself when I think I look fat, or old, or if my posture looks bad. Oh my.
That last line is so harsh, it’s kind of funny.
So I’m a lot of fun to be with in my head- NOT.
I correct myself throughout the day for being self critical.
Even with all of the above, I do truly love myself, and I know that I’m a good person.
Gratefulness could help me by allowing me to appreciate who I am
and my own innate goodness.
My intention for today is to be accepting of who I am,
both the free Mary and the critical Mary
and to accept myself with much love and appreciation for the person that I am.
Mary, I really appreciate you and all of the responses that you write. I don’t always write responses to all of the wonderful things that people write here because I have found that I seem to benefit the most from this Daily Question exercise when I walk a middle path and don’t spend too much time writing responses. Otherwise, I find myself spending too much time on it and then want to withdraw altogether from the Daily Question! Sending much love to you on your journey, and I am so glad that even with the struggles (many which I can identify with!) you still do truly love yourself and know that you’re a good person. That is big! ♥️
I agree Elizabeth!
I want to write less, but often in the moment I forget about this.
Your replies have been loving and well-timed.
Your post,
dear Mary,
inspired me to write mine . . .
thank you for that. ♥
Hi Mary! Thank you for sharing! I appreciate your realness in sharing your thought processes with us <3. I have been here before a million times. I try to stop myself from overthinking little things. One thing I try to always remember is no one is more focused on me than myself. I may be overanalyzing these little actions but other people are more focused on themselves!
So true!
We all do focus on ourselves.
Thank you for pointing that out, Andrea.
Mary, I want you to know that I so appreciate your posts and comments here. You are keen, thoughtful, supportive, and honest with yourself. Wishing you a day full of kindness and acceptance. PS. as someone who has also struggled with self-criticism, I’ve become quite the fan of Kristen Neff’s self-compassion work — pasting an example here in case you find it of interest — https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/#guided-practices
Thank you Drea for reading all of that.
Since you responded I took out two paragraphs because my answer was so long.
I do know of Kristen Neff and have found her work in self compassion to be very
helpful. I have not used her exercises lately,
but it’s time to go back to her, so thank you so much!
Yes, I feel like I am at a crossroads. Gratefulness brings me to the present and realization of all that is good where I am. Today isn’t the day I have to pick a path.
I’m having trouble moving forward on more than one front at present and it is gratefulness that keeps me trudging along and reminds me that it is okay to trudge!
Yes, it is okay to trudge! Thanks for that, Carol. At least the world isn’t flashing by when we’re trudging. And we can hear the sounds of our footsteps.
I’m grateful that I’m letting go of my closed minded thoughts, beliefs, discernment, and judgements! All of those have stoped me from moving forward to Truth . Gratefulness comes naturally when I’m in the flow of nature’s flow..
I’m having trouble moving forward in observing my current fortune in my life. Specifically, when I was with Loc, I missed my family in Vietnam so much and I would love to meet them. Then, when I about to go visit my family in Vietnam, my mind pop up feelings of how much I would missing Loc. Now, I just arrived in Vietnam with mky family. Gratefulness wakes me up in noticing how fortune I am. The safe flights, my family greeted me with special welcoming. Especially, Loc is always there, who happy with me, share with me all my joy and challenges.
Enjoy your visit with your family, it is so important that you maintain that beautiful bond.
Enjoy time spent with your family,
dear Ngoc,
and with your brand new niece . . .
seeing Loc when you return home
will be all the sweeter. ♥
Have a safe and wonderful trip
Wishing you a wonderful time with your family in Vietnam, and safe travels when it’s time to return home.
My Ngoc, I’m happy to talk to you anytime.
Good to hear of your arrival Ngoc
Ngoc, enjoy your time in Vietnam, it sounds very special.
NGOC, Glad you arrived there safely. Wishing you much enjoyment and good memories.
At the moment I don’t feel stuck. I am grateful for the authors, friends and professionals that are moving me.
In some ways, having gratitude, can slow down my forward movement. It’s strange, I went from having almost no gratitude for anything, to finding gratefulness in almost any situation. Maybe even using it as an opiate, of sorts. That field of poppy’s on the way to Oz. Content to stay where I am.
But in general, practicing gratitude helps me live with more equanimity and to see more options and more paths forward and is a way out of my stuckness.
Maybe,
dear Charlie,
slowing down to be grateful
is not slowing down your forward movement at all.
Slowing down
does not have to mean you are stuck . . .
do take time to smell the roses.
It might be more beneficial than you think. ♥
Gratefulness already opened the pathways, and I am slowly but surely moving forward with my yoga. I need to apply for some jobs outside of the studio I go to, but it’s all working out and will continue to do so.
I do not feel stuck in any area at this moment. I am holding gratefulness—not mere gratitude—as doors are opening.
I currently don’t have any troubles with any areas of my life moving forward. I’m comfortable within my own skin and am proud of the man I’ve grown into.