As a long-ago linguistics and English major I had to look up the definition of “touchstone”. I remembered its history correctly, that a touchstone is used to reveal whether something is genuine silver or gold.
With this in mind, it seems to me it’s the question of whether I choose gratefulness that serves as the touchstone. In a difficult moment can I look for something that lightens the darkness? In a happy moment can I remember to pause and appreciate? When I touch these circumstances with gratefulness what true nature is revealed?
I especially appreciated SunnyPatti’s description of sitting between the two, the joys and the challenges, and Mary Mantei’s comment that we’re shaping our future selves by our choices and responses in any given moment. All your sharing helped me draw more out of this question.
I don’t like the term “touchstone”. At least today I associate it with something negative.
immediately thoughts like: “I have to be grateful”, “am I right?”, “am I grateful enough?” “selfish” …
from commercial goods: am I doing everything right here? Am I grateful enough? How do I show gratitude? “I have to make up for it”
let’s see what else happens in my mind today…
It is hard to always be grateful…but as soon as I get into that frame of mind….I know that it is the wrong path. If life is presenting me some challenges…I need to always remember that there is always some joy to be found in my life. I am so very Blessed and yes problems arise…but there is so much good as well. This is the touchstone that I needed tonight…as always Grateful Living and all who come to this site make me realize just how good life is. Sending love to one and all.
PS I have not been posting as my husband and I are still traveling and often I do not have internet. I think of you all every day- and hopefully will be home next Friday (the 11th)…and will be back to my daily practice. God Bless
It’s always nice to hear from you Nannette and I appreciate you’re thoughtful updates. I think of you too. Continued safe travels to you and your husband.
By coming to this site almost on a daily basis & reflecting it has become a touchstone practice for me. I am reminded what is important and also have a supportive community to help with life’s ups and downs!
I love the idea of gratefulness as a touchstone anchoring us to the present moment — thinking about it in this way helps me visualize this concept more easily. Annie Dillard’s quote today reminds us why this is so important to remember this every day.
Gratefulness keeps me aware of the present moment and present to the NOW. As the character Colonel Potter said on the Christmas episode of MASH one year, “If you ain’t where your at, you are nowhere!” I have learned that the strength I need to be joyful or sorrowful is always in the NOW. As today’s quote from Annie Dillard reminds me, how I spend my days is how I will spend my life. The buck stops here.
Interesting quote from Richard Rohr:
“Zephaniah, addressing a slum of Northern Kingdom refugees in Jerusalem (Zephaniah 3:14-18), and Paul, writing to the Philippians from his chains (Philippians 4:4-7), both counsel an unprecedented and unwarranted joy to their listeners. Were they naïve or pie in the sky believers? Probably not, because the whole of anything always contains parts and reasons for joy and contentment. To accept and live in the whole of things is to be “holy.” The unified field of God does not blot out all sadness and tragedy entirely, but it somehow and surely co-exists with it. Joy and sadness can live together within us at the same time, and afterwards we learn to never despair because of the dark sides of things. The dark side is never the whole, although in the short term it often appears to be. ”
Adapted from Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, p. 9
Hopefully, by practicing gratefulness,
I can access it when there are the
inevitable challenges and I can carry
it with me when things are going well.
As I write this, I am realizing how important
it is to acknowledge gratitude when
things are moving along smoothly.
To be ungrateful when things have gone
well for me, is such a truly wretched state.
Yesterday, I reluctantly went on my daily morning walk with Loc because I don’t like walking in cold weather. On one hand, I don’t want to leave him alone, and walking together is a good chance to cherish moments. On the other hand, I can’t escape the frustration when the cold hits my face. Eventually, we had an unhappy walk. The lesson from that experience is that if I maintain gratitude in my mind, I would have a wonderful morning walk with Loc, enjoying the beauty of nature around me.
My Ngoc, that’s a good way to look at it. Grattitude can overcome discomfort. I know all too well about Vietnamese social settings from my responses to similar questions like these. Grattitude in the mind can also turn disadvantages into advantages.
Showing gratefulness regularly could be a touchstone or litmus test for the validity of a friendship or the relationship I am in or for the credibility of a politician. Unfortunately, the latter is not available to most of us.
I love the word, “touchstone”. For me, it speaks of an opportunity to pause, and check my compass. Am I heading in the direction I truly want to go, and sometimes, need to go.
We all build on the joys and challenges of life. How we integrate both become who we are. Pausing to appreciate both, to know how I work with the present will influence my future, is powerful.
It’s hard to appreciate challenges in the moment. That is why I find these questions, my reflections, your reflections, so helpful in moving closer to do so more immediately rather than after the fact.
“We all build on the joys and challenges of life. How we integrate both become who we are.” This is very much at the heart of my understanding of who I am, how I came to be this person, and what I draw on when things get tough, as discussed in a question not that long ago.
When you went on to write “Pausing to appreciate both, to know how I work with the present will influence my future, is powerful.” that gave me an additional element to recognize. My responses draw on who I am now and also contribute to who I will be in the future. Powerful indeed! Thank you so much for this.
I was once that person not too long ago when I tried to become someone who I wasn’t, saw what others had that I didn’t, and chased after it. This brings me back to my answer from a couple days ago when I talked about cultivating whatever’s unique about me, forging my own path, blazing my own trail, and adapting within my base. This question reminds me of how I deal with discomfort. I’ve come to learn that the only person I can compare myself to is a past version of myself. Whether my life is joyful or challenging ultimately comes down to how I handle uncomfortable emotions.
We take a trip back to memory lane to late June. I felt unsafe in a Vietnamese social gathering I may have mentioned in one of those daily grateful living questions due to opposing differences in philosophies to keep a long story short. The next morning, I brought up the issue to my mom. She spoke her mind telling me that I’ve done well before and lectured me on how I needed to be more social. I spoke my mind and gave my reasons. From that moment, I was able to feel what she was saying easier, because speaking my mind made it easier for her to understand me and let go making it easier to adopt new habits. From that point on, I gradually and steadily became more comfortable in those settings and have become the system instead of needing one.
Please excuse my language. We all need a kick in the ass from time to time. Just like with anyone, I don’t want it, but needed it right there. It reduced: overthinking, confusion, and misidentification. We make life more complicated than it needs to be. It’s why everyone, myself included, is hypersensitive these days and have a whole bunch of 1st world problems.
With all that being said, this is why we need humans. Simply put, we live with humans. There’s only so much we can do on our own.
Loc Tran, I heard a fellow in a LifeRing meeting say he really only had “Cadillac Problems”. It reminded me of your usage of the phrase “1st World Problems”.
Thanks for sharing, Loc Tran. I have learned in my little corner of the world, I can always be kind to myself and others that cross my path no matter what their philosophy.
Gratefulness serves as a touchstone while navigating life’s challenges and joys by being grounding. It is a great way to start and end one’s day.
TGIF! Today is my Dad’s birthday – “82” I took a half-day today-I am having an Oktoberfest meal tomorrow and will be meeting my son’s gf for the first time. My sauerbraten has been marinating for just about a week, can’t wait! My daughter is going to make my Nanny’s German Potato Salad. I love tradition!
Michele, I meditate everyday, so I know the feeling of being grounded all too well. Asian cultures are known to value family. Not to that level, I have that too but with a more individualistic twist.
I can be present, aware, grateful and in life complications and challenges will still arise. Better descriptions than problems. Also easier to view a life with challenges than viewing a life as problematic. Striving to be present and grateful helps to ease the discomfort, for times of joy will return.
Joseph, being present is easy when the cards are dealt in our favor. The challenge is being able to still do it when the cards are stacked against us. Our natural instincts are to do anything and everything to solve problems only leading to more frustration. One of Phil Jackson’s problems is “When in doubt, do nothing.” I love your line of viewing life as a challenge rather than problematic. Simply put, the former carries a more positive connotation. For me, as an adventurous person, I’ve learned to view life as an adventure rather than a challenge. For the former, even the most boring and uncomfortable tasks already feel more joyful reducing the likelyhood of me feeling disgruntled leading to a noncommittal attitude.
In a side note Carol I saw the Vicks comment yesterday and I want to add have JJ but it on his feet with socks. I know it sounds crazy but I was told that when my kids were too young for cough medicine and it was always 4 hrs asleep for us. We still use it for all of us. I have no idea why but I know it helped for others too.
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As a long-ago linguistics and English major I had to look up the definition of “touchstone”. I remembered its history correctly, that a touchstone is used to reveal whether something is genuine silver or gold.
With this in mind, it seems to me it’s the question of whether I choose gratefulness that serves as the touchstone. In a difficult moment can I look for something that lightens the darkness? In a happy moment can I remember to pause and appreciate? When I touch these circumstances with gratefulness what true nature is revealed?
I especially appreciated SunnyPatti’s description of sitting between the two, the joys and the challenges, and Mary Mantei’s comment that we’re shaping our future selves by our choices and responses in any given moment. All your sharing helped me draw more out of this question.
I don’t like the term “touchstone”. At least today I associate it with something negative.
immediately thoughts like: “I have to be grateful”, “am I right?”, “am I grateful enough?” “selfish” …
from commercial goods: am I doing everything right here? Am I grateful enough? How do I show gratitude? “I have to make up for it”
let’s see what else happens in my mind today…
It is hard to always be grateful…but as soon as I get into that frame of mind….I know that it is the wrong path. If life is presenting me some challenges…I need to always remember that there is always some joy to be found in my life. I am so very Blessed and yes problems arise…but there is so much good as well. This is the touchstone that I needed tonight…as always Grateful Living and all who come to this site make me realize just how good life is. Sending love to one and all.
PS I have not been posting as my husband and I are still traveling and often I do not have internet. I think of you all every day- and hopefully will be home next Friday (the 11th)…and will be back to my daily practice. God Bless
Safe travels Nannette. hopefully you were no where near the hurricane path!.
It’s always nice to hear from you Nannette and I appreciate you’re thoughtful updates. I think of you too. Continued safe travels to you and your husband.
By coming to this site almost on a daily basis & reflecting it has become a touchstone practice for me. I am reminded what is important and also have a supportive community to help with life’s ups and downs!
I love the idea of gratefulness as a touchstone anchoring us to the present moment — thinking about it in this way helps me visualize this concept more easily. Annie Dillard’s quote today reminds us why this is so important to remember this every day.
Love that anchoring us!
Gratefulness keeps me aware of the present moment and present to the NOW. As the character Colonel Potter said on the Christmas episode of MASH one year, “If you ain’t where your at, you are nowhere!” I have learned that the strength I need to be joyful or sorrowful is always in the NOW. As today’s quote from Annie Dillard reminds me, how I spend my days is how I will spend my life. The buck stops here.
Interesting quote from Richard Rohr:
“Zephaniah, addressing a slum of Northern Kingdom refugees in Jerusalem (Zephaniah 3:14-18), and Paul, writing to the Philippians from his chains (Philippians 4:4-7), both counsel an unprecedented and unwarranted joy to their listeners. Were they naïve or pie in the sky believers? Probably not, because the whole of anything always contains parts and reasons for joy and contentment. To accept and live in the whole of things is to be “holy.” The unified field of God does not blot out all sadness and tragedy entirely, but it somehow and surely co-exists with it. Joy and sadness can live together within us at the same time, and afterwards we learn to never despair because of the dark sides of things. The dark side is never the whole, although in the short term it often appears to be. ”
Adapted from Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, p. 9
I feel like gratefulness can sit in between the two, helping me stay present and able to soak up the joys or ponder the challenges.
Wonderful and helpful visual, SunnyPatti. Thank you.
SunnyPatti, Love this.
Hopefully, by practicing gratefulness,
I can access it when there are the
inevitable challenges and I can carry
it with me when things are going well.
As I write this, I am realizing how important
it is to acknowledge gratitude when
things are moving along smoothly.
To be ungrateful when things have gone
well for me, is such a truly wretched state.
Yesterday, I reluctantly went on my daily morning walk with Loc because I don’t like walking in cold weather. On one hand, I don’t want to leave him alone, and walking together is a good chance to cherish moments. On the other hand, I can’t escape the frustration when the cold hits my face. Eventually, we had an unhappy walk. The lesson from that experience is that if I maintain gratitude in my mind, I would have a wonderful morning walk with Loc, enjoying the beauty of nature around me.
My Ngoc, that’s a good way to look at it. Grattitude can overcome discomfort. I know all too well about Vietnamese social settings from my responses to similar questions like these. Grattitude in the mind can also turn disadvantages into advantages.
Showing gratefulness regularly could be a touchstone or litmus test for the validity of a friendship or the relationship I am in or for the credibility of a politician. Unfortunately, the latter is not available to most of us.
I love the word, “touchstone”. For me, it speaks of an opportunity to pause, and check my compass. Am I heading in the direction I truly want to go, and sometimes, need to go.
We all build on the joys and challenges of life. How we integrate both become who we are. Pausing to appreciate both, to know how I work with the present will influence my future, is powerful.
It’s hard to appreciate challenges in the moment. That is why I find these questions, my reflections, your reflections, so helpful in moving closer to do so more immediately rather than after the fact.
“We all build on the joys and challenges of life. How we integrate both become who we are.” This is very much at the heart of my understanding of who I am, how I came to be this person, and what I draw on when things get tough, as discussed in a question not that long ago.
When you went on to write “Pausing to appreciate both, to know how I work with the present will influence my future, is powerful.” that gave me an additional element to recognize. My responses draw on who I am now and also contribute to who I will be in the future. Powerful indeed! Thank you so much for this.
I thought of a line from one of my poems: “Sometimes you get a rock. Sometimes you get a gem!
I like that line, will write it down, thank you.
I was once that person not too long ago when I tried to become someone who I wasn’t, saw what others had that I didn’t, and chased after it. This brings me back to my answer from a couple days ago when I talked about cultivating whatever’s unique about me, forging my own path, blazing my own trail, and adapting within my base. This question reminds me of how I deal with discomfort. I’ve come to learn that the only person I can compare myself to is a past version of myself. Whether my life is joyful or challenging ultimately comes down to how I handle uncomfortable emotions.
We take a trip back to memory lane to late June. I felt unsafe in a Vietnamese social gathering I may have mentioned in one of those daily grateful living questions due to opposing differences in philosophies to keep a long story short. The next morning, I brought up the issue to my mom. She spoke her mind telling me that I’ve done well before and lectured me on how I needed to be more social. I spoke my mind and gave my reasons. From that moment, I was able to feel what she was saying easier, because speaking my mind made it easier for her to understand me and let go making it easier to adopt new habits. From that point on, I gradually and steadily became more comfortable in those settings and have become the system instead of needing one.
Please excuse my language. We all need a kick in the ass from time to time. Just like with anyone, I don’t want it, but needed it right there. It reduced: overthinking, confusion, and misidentification. We make life more complicated than it needs to be. It’s why everyone, myself included, is hypersensitive these days and have a whole bunch of 1st world problems.
With all that being said, this is why we need humans. Simply put, we live with humans. There’s only so much we can do on our own.
Loc Tran, I heard a fellow in a LifeRing meeting say he really only had “Cadillac Problems”. It reminded me of your usage of the phrase “1st World Problems”.
Good one, Joseph. It’s one of the many 1st world problems we have.
Thanks for sharing, Loc Tran. I have learned in my little corner of the world, I can always be kind to myself and others that cross my path no matter what their philosophy.
Carol, different ways of expression makes us different through the eye. We all have the same basic needs when looking beyond the surface.
Gratefulness serves as a touchstone while navigating life’s challenges and joys by being grounding. It is a great way to start and end one’s day.
TGIF! Today is my Dad’s birthday – “82” I took a half-day today-I am having an Oktoberfest meal tomorrow and will be meeting my son’s gf for the first time. My sauerbraten has been marinating for just about a week, can’t wait! My daughter is going to make my Nanny’s German Potato Salad. I love tradition!
I love Octoberfest and German food! I am part German and my Nana used to make some dishes too.
I hope your meeting your son’s GF goes well too!
Michele, Sounds wonderful and your joy is coming through your words loud and clear!
Enjoy Michelle!
Michele, I meditate everyday, so I know the feeling of being grounded all too well. Asian cultures are known to value family. Not to that level, I have that too but with a more individualistic twist.
I can be present, aware, grateful and in life complications and challenges will still arise. Better descriptions than problems. Also easier to view a life with challenges than viewing a life as problematic. Striving to be present and grateful helps to ease the discomfort, for times of joy will return.
Yes, Joseph. As Eckhart Tolle says “Don’t turn a situation into a problem!”
Joseph, being present is easy when the cards are dealt in our favor. The challenge is being able to still do it when the cards are stacked against us. Our natural instincts are to do anything and everything to solve problems only leading to more frustration. One of Phil Jackson’s problems is “When in doubt, do nothing.” I love your line of viewing life as a challenge rather than problematic. Simply put, the former carries a more positive connotation. For me, as an adventurous person, I’ve learned to view life as an adventure rather than a challenge. For the former, even the most boring and uncomfortable tasks already feel more joyful reducing the likelyhood of me feeling disgruntled leading to a noncommittal attitude.
I think Butterfly said it perfectly.
In a side note Carol I saw the Vicks comment yesterday and I want to add have JJ but it on his feet with socks. I know it sounds crazy but I was told that when my kids were too young for cough medicine and it was always 4 hrs asleep for us. We still use it for all of us. I have no idea why but I know it helped for others too.
lol, however it does work!
Deann, Thanks…honestly, it makes sense to me as massaging the feet helps the whole body.