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As I gave thought to the previous reflections the themes of acceptance as the path to forgiveness, the unleashing of love that forgiveness provides, forgiveness of our unconsciousness that precipitated past now undesirable behaviours and how ” it is what it is’ brings peace resonated within me.
After watching the video of the polar bear shake out the trauma in its body due to being chased by a helicopter and being tranquilized as part of monitoring health of the population ( the video is called Polar Bear Shaking Trauma) I decided that i too, as a mammal must have that capacity. So, as I read what resonated I shook out what was embodied in the resonance.
And so gratitude for the kindness and sincerity and good will of the contributions herein, arises within.
I think of the serenity prayer “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Forgiveness usually comes easier to me with my Faith but sometimes takes a little time.
In my opinion, forgiving and accepting people/ situations are the great paths to make life grateful. When we question ourselves, the answer always lies behind. Suppose, if in a given situation, can we change someone for the way they are? sometimes the answer is NO. Do you have control over their behavior? the answer is always NO. When you do not have control over others behavior, we just have to accept the way they are and the way we are, brings us great peace. When you forgive someone, you will be at peace by letting things and situation go. By forgiving ourselves we make a greater peace and then our point of view towards life is a bliss.
Learn To trust myself which is difficult at first. But, I have to trust others who accept the journey. keep moving forward. Take one step to God and he takes 10 steps to towards you. Do I think or do thoughts think me ? Whatis this reality what is illusion how to clear
away the illusion which has both my arms and legs bound together?
By attempting to see things clearly and
as they are, and not as a projection of my
Inner world, I can begin to invite
compassion and kindness into the
situation. It’s seems to be the most
difficult, when someone is unaware
of their effect, and are hardened against
any change. This requires a reminder that
we are all on our own journey and we
all have our own stories and experiences.
Be aware of the possibility that the situation brings growth.
One must first forgive themself. I know because I have a hard time forgiving myself and all that causes is pain to me not anyone else. how can someone forgive you if you can’t forgive yourself? it poses the same question how can someone love you if you have a hard time loving yourself. the two got stand in hand. that’s the fight I have with me. will I ever find true happiness and will I ever know the reason people love me? lots of questions but not many answers.
What a beautiful comment! May you find in your lifetime many reasons to love yourself. Sometimes is hard to receive the love of others thinking we are not worthy of their gift. It is easier to give than to receive. But you deserve to be love! You are love! Blessings to you.
There is a folk saying, “what we resist persists” or as Eckhart Tolle says, “Don’t turn a situation into a problem.” These are daily mantras for me and they helps me deal lovingly with whatever or whoever enters my day to day existence. Accepting “what is” frees me in so many ways.
Forgiveness can be complicated. I share some forgiveness meditations, prayers, and poems that I have written over the years.
“Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.” LAMA SURYA DAS
That’s Life by Carol Ann Conner
Life is for giving not for getting.
Memories are for lessons worth learning.
Wishes are possibilities worth having.
Expectations are Judgments in disguise.
With hands and heart open, I greet this day.
“Mistakes are the portal to discovery” James Joyce
From RE to BE by Carol Ann Conner
In this moment
This awesome gift
To see more
Than the little Me
From my miss-takes
growing from within
motivating and inviting
me to rise from their ashes
Forgiveness Meditations by Carol Ann Conner
Many years ago my mentor stated, “Only God can forgive.” That has swirled around in this analytical brain of mine every since and after many years of not being terribly successful at this thing called forgiveness, I have had some personal realizations:
In my own experience, all we can do is make a decision to forgive. By that I mean that we choose to be willing to forgive. We “cast the bread upon the water.” We decide to forgive. It may take a day, a week, a year or it might happen instantly. Our job is willingness and that willingness unleashes a love that is transformative.
Forgiving involves letting go of the past and beginning again. Sometimes, it is necessary to grieve; sometimes that is scary because it requires us to feel emotions we have stuffed but we must allow ourselves to feel so we can heal.
When I have the courage to ask myself, who is the forgiving for? I realize the answer is me. It is for me so that I can be free. Freedom is the payload.
Some of us carry a life-limiting belief that we must be able to forgive totally to experience the transformative love forgiveness offers. I have not found that to be true. In my experience, even when I succeed in letting go of the anger and resentment I hold toward the other, I often hold myself hostage because I fail to forgive myself. Willingness, willingness, willingness is my mantra in all things.
There is so much wisdom in what you have written Carol.
The quote by Eckhart Tolle, “Don’t turn a situation into a problem, was helpful for me to read today. Many things just are what they are. I don’t have to spend so much of my energy being concerned. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to write.
Also, what we resist, persists. So true! Thanks again. ♥️♥️♥️
I have to start by keeping one foot in front of the other….and keeping promises to myself. By letting go of old patterns of behavior and grasping onto a bright new path. Today is my Birthday…I enter my 71st year…I cannot believe that.. How Blessed I have been in many, many ways. Some trauma’s along the way- but that is the gift of my journey in life. We never stop learning …and we never stop making mistakes- no matter how old we are. But forgiving others and forgiving ourselves is the only way forward. I am back home again after four months of travel…and how Blessed I feel to be back in the “woods”…We are all at peace, my husband, my dog and two cats….as they say “Life is Good”….and life is better because of this site and all of your here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Happy birthday Nannette! 🎂
Love what you wrote and Happy BIrthday!!
Have a nice rest of the day commemorating your birth Nannette!
Many blessings for your 71st trip around the sun!
Happy Birthday, Nannette and thank you for sharing. You are just a child. Dolores (88)
Dear Nannette, Happy Happy Birthday to You….wishing you a blessed beautiful peace-filled day….🎂🙏🏻✨
Celebrate You, Cheers…🥂
Thankfulness for the past
Courage for the present
Hope for the future!
My wish for you!
Yram, Thank you…How very beautiful. I am going to write this down and always remember this…a lovely gift!!
Happy Birthday, dear Nannettte. Blessings to you and yours always and all ways.
Thank you so very much, Carol!!
I must accept that my past alcoholic behaviors have caused my wife mental anguish and trauma. Even though I have been abstinent for 13 1/2 months this go around, every once in a while something I say, a mannerism or date in time sets her off. The last one was about a week ago. I must remember my breathing skills on the fly as the bad adrenalin as I call it, fight, flight or fear, can make me defensive. I told her last week I have accepted my past behaviors, not forgotten them, just I have accepted the fact that I deeply scared her psyche. We have had some couples therapy and Cheryl knows that in order for me to grow I must leave my baggage behind as all I have is the present, the now. I am grateful for all the help and guidance I have sought out including the daily reflection on this site and the support of everyone who participates on these pages. Thank you all.
Joseph, Today’s quote from Jane Goodall says so much to me about the here and now. “You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you.”
What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” We can’t change the past all(both you and Cheryl have is the present. May you both be able to put your burdens down but take the lessons they offer with you. May you both take every opportunity in the “now” presents to make amends to each other.
I can look through the rear view mirror and see so many ways I chose to react not respond to my husband’s alcoholism. Trust me, she suffers from that same fight, flight and fear syndrome that you do. Alcoholism impacts and requires healing for the whole family.
I love that song by the Judds: “Love can build a Bridge.” In 1996, My husband and I divorced after 35 years of marriage. He passed away in 2010 but I still find myself building that bridge. I’m still gaining self awareness from that baggage I laid down long ago.
Joseph, You are a good man and your wife understands your trials…together you are growing stronger. Be kind to yourself…you have come such a long way…a journey that continues. Every day- you give me and others encouragement and wisdom. Many Blessings to you and your wife.
By letting go……
Acceptance is the prerequisite for real forgiveness. This question hit me in the heart because I’m resistant to my stepdaughter at an atomic level. Our disharmony pervades the home. It’s “the thing”. But, I’m not giving up. I need to accept her mental illness will always be. I can love her through this or be constantly blown away with shock and pissed off. I don’t want that. I’m choosing nonresistance. It requires lots of 4,7,8 breathing and prayer.
Thank you, your reflection has added some light to my path.
Start with a deep breath and then a smile. TGIF:)
By remembering I’m not in control. By pausing, breathing and knowing that everything changes. And also knowing that there is a lesson somewhere in the situation!
Give it time, and bring it to prayer.
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