Unfortunately I fear it is too late I’ve perhaps wished for something I may regret however I understood the outcome might be that I was willing to accept that
At work Is sometimes I find errors and I know I need to express in a kinder manner how to correct or remind someone of the right way to do it. Just be more kinder in general.
Great question. As I ponder this question, I am realizing that I have made some changes in my thought habits, for the better, over the last five years of intentional change. But of course, I am a work in progress and there are still habits that I would like to change. I still have a habit of resisting new things. Definitely my habit of assuming that I’m right. And maybe my habit of pre judging people. Or judging people at all.
Charlie, I empathize with you as it a a habit of mind I am working on changing also. I wonder why it is such a natural habit of mind for so many? Not all. Let’s look for ways to make others right; maybe that will nudge us in the direction we say we want to go. Be well.
I’d like to free myself from second guessing myself.
I have second guessed myself in this format
for being too emotional and intense.
I could accept myself for being who I am.
I yam who I yam, right?
😀☺️
Or I could tone it down a bit.
I already decided and wrote on this site
That I would stop being so hard on myself.
Make my choices here
and in my life
consciously
and then let it go.
Enough with the second guessing.
My choice is to start letting go
So
Be in the moment,
Savor the moment,
Make choices consciously
And now
Just let go.
Inhale.
Exhale
Savor the moment.
Be conscious of my choices
And just let go.
Like many others here, I would like to be free of the habit of not feeling good enough and negative self talk. Deep down, I know I am a good person but there is so much talk and doubt in my mind that blocks that feeling from shining through. It helps me to know that other folks struggle with this too; thank you for sharing.
Lauren, you and I should talk. 🙂
That harsh inner critic is really something to contend with.
After todays post I decided basically to choose my choice
and then
just let go.
So I will post about
or just let you know
how that is going for me.
♥️♥️♥️
Yes, the fear of failure. I was raised during the time that the Roman Catholic church taught that Grace had to be earned. I had to be worthy of it and God would not love me if I did not perform. The fear of being rejected by the church’s God gave me tremendous anxiety. I could not afford to risk failure. That habit of thought kept me from doing a lot of things I was very capable of doing. It still rears its head from time to time even though I know I am of worth and perfection is not required for me to be loved.
Saw a quote from Alan Watts that addresses the “habits of thought.”
“The future is a concept. It doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as tomorrow. There never will be because time is always NOW.That’s one of the things we discover when we stop talking to ourselves and stop thinking. We find there is only the present–only an eternal now.” Alan Watts
That quote from Alan Watts and philosophy has helped my mental health a whole bunch. Stop future tripping, wallowing in the past. The present, the eternal now is the present. I just need to let it unfold and reveal itself. Thank you, Carol,.
These questions always seem to come at the exact moment when I am wrestling with the same ideas. I would like to free myself from the habit of making up stories about how other people feel about me. (They usually are not positive and affect how I feel about the person). I am really not sure how to do this…..but perhaps acknowledging it is happening is the first step.
I TRY to subscribe to the “it’s none of my business what others think of me” theory but I think we all get caught in this ugly cycle from time to time. And, I also believe that most people are very occupied in worrying about themselves that they don’t spend nearly as much time as we may think, thinking about us!
For me, there’s another Aa/Alanon saying that is even more to the point.
Because sometimes the story I tell myself may not be completely wrong.
(Right?😇)
(She doesn’t want to give up on the story🤔)
“What someone else thinks about me is none of my business.”
“Is there a habit of thought I’d like to free myself from?”…..
Only one??!!! I have so many to choose from!! But facetiousness aside, I am seriously appreciating the question; and the term, “Rapid Fire Responses” keeps presenting itself as I do. Actually, even just “sitting with” this question is being profitable for me, and I think is pointing me toward the more refined habit I want to cultivate – that of waiting…. —finding myself able to sit in a little blank pause before my next thought. I want to do this specifically while in conversation with someone else, but I do believe the practice would be good for me -comforting!- to apply even to my own stream of thinking. Perhaps I am describing truly listening, or training myself that I do not need to immediately jump in with “my” response, but the important part for me is actively putting in that spacer before returning a reply or next conclusion or alternative consideration. It sounds so appealing as I sit here imagining that! I have long remembered the acronym, “WAIT!”… for “Why Am I Talking???”… and until now, I always thought of it as a bit of ironic humor, as in “why am I wasting my time trying to make this point to this person or in this frustrating circumstance?!”… but from this morning’s reflection, I would like instead to think of it as, “What is it that I would actually, truly, profitably, like to communicate in this situation right now?” It is a tall order for me to be clear on that question, and definitely one worth spending my attention on!!!!! “Thank you, Grateful!”
Now I am looking forward to reading the other reflections here, but that was one I wanted to compose fresh from my own solo consideration first. . Thank you again!!
I believe that self awareness definitely starts with monitoring what we are saying to ourselves. As for our conversations with others, the best definition I have ever heard for the word “responsibility” is “the ability to respond” instead of react.
How thoughtful of you to ask.
It is hard to separate what is covid and what is his chronic condition.
All in all things are improving.
Appointment day!
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Unfortunately I fear it is too late I’ve perhaps wished for something I may regret however I understood the outcome might be that I was willing to accept that
Haha yeah I guess I’d like to stop wishing
Overthinking. It has been such a big hold-back for the past decade, if not even longer.
I need to let go of negative self-talk. I just don’t know how.
Every time you are aware of negative self talk,
dear pmoneys,
make the effort
to let it go,
like clouds across the sky
with love . . . ♥
At work Is sometimes I find errors and I know I need to express in a kinder manner how to correct or remind someone of the right way to do it. Just be more kinder in general.
Great question. As I ponder this question, I am realizing that I have made some changes in my thought habits, for the better, over the last five years of intentional change. But of course, I am a work in progress and there are still habits that I would like to change. I still have a habit of resisting new things. Definitely my habit of assuming that I’m right. And maybe my habit of pre judging people. Or judging people at all.
Charlie, I empathize with you as it a a habit of mind I am working on changing also. I wonder why it is such a natural habit of mind for so many? Not all. Let’s look for ways to make others right; maybe that will nudge us in the direction we say we want to go. Be well.
I’d like to free myself from second guessing myself.
I have second guessed myself in this format
for being too emotional and intense.
I could accept myself for being who I am.
I yam who I yam, right?
😀☺️
Or I could tone it down a bit.
I already decided and wrote on this site
That I would stop being so hard on myself.
Make my choices here
and in my life
consciously
and then let it go.
Enough with the second guessing.
My choice is to start letting go
So
Be in the moment,
Savor the moment,
Make choices consciously
And now
Just let go.
Inhale.
Exhale
Savor the moment.
Be conscious of my choices
And just let go.
And repeat.
♥️
All of them ! Thank you !
Like many others here, I would like to be free of the habit of not feeling good enough and negative self talk. Deep down, I know I am a good person but there is so much talk and doubt in my mind that blocks that feeling from shining through. It helps me to know that other folks struggle with this too; thank you for sharing.
Yes, negative self talk.
Lauren, you and I should talk. 🙂
That harsh inner critic is really something to contend with.
After todays post I decided basically to choose my choice
and then
just let go.
So I will post about
or just let you know
how that is going for me.
♥️♥️♥️
Yes, the fear of failure. I was raised during the time that the Roman Catholic church taught that Grace had to be earned. I had to be worthy of it and God would not love me if I did not perform. The fear of being rejected by the church’s God gave me tremendous anxiety. I could not afford to risk failure. That habit of thought kept me from doing a lot of things I was very capable of doing. It still rears its head from time to time even though I know I am of worth and perfection is not required for me to be loved.
Saw a quote from Alan Watts that addresses the “habits of thought.”
“The future is a concept. It doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as tomorrow. There never will be because time is always NOW.That’s one of the things we discover when we stop talking to ourselves and stop thinking. We find there is only the present–only an eternal now.” Alan Watts
That quote from Alan Watts and philosophy has helped my mental health a whole bunch. Stop future tripping, wallowing in the past. The present, the eternal now is the present. I just need to let it unfold and reveal itself. Thank you, Carol,.
These questions always seem to come at the exact moment when I am wrestling with the same ideas. I would like to free myself from the habit of making up stories about how other people feel about me. (They usually are not positive and affect how I feel about the person). I am really not sure how to do this…..but perhaps acknowledging it is happening is the first step.
I TRY to subscribe to the “it’s none of my business what others think of me” theory but I think we all get caught in this ugly cycle from time to time. And, I also believe that most people are very occupied in worrying about themselves that they don’t spend nearly as much time as we may think, thinking about us!
My theory about others thoughts, is to be like a duck when they throw water on their back….it just rolls right off.
🙂
I feel you Marnie, I feel you. 😐♥️
Yes, Marnie. Naming it is most likely the first step. Awareness. As my sponsor use to say, “When we know better, we do better!”
For me, there’s another Aa/Alanon saying that is even more to the point.
Because sometimes the story I tell myself may not be completely wrong.
(Right?😇)
(She doesn’t want to give up on the story🤔)
“What someone else thinks about me is none of my business.”
For a long time now, I have appreciated this quote, Mary. Thank you for sharing it.
I’ve been working on freeing myself from the thoughts of not being good enough. Every day is different, but today, I think I’m doing pretty good.
“Is there a habit of thought I’d like to free myself from?”…..
Only one??!!! I have so many to choose from!! But facetiousness aside, I am seriously appreciating the question; and the term, “Rapid Fire Responses” keeps presenting itself as I do. Actually, even just “sitting with” this question is being profitable for me, and I think is pointing me toward the more refined habit I want to cultivate – that of waiting…. —finding myself able to sit in a little blank pause before my next thought. I want to do this specifically while in conversation with someone else, but I do believe the practice would be good for me -comforting!- to apply even to my own stream of thinking. Perhaps I am describing truly listening, or training myself that I do not need to immediately jump in with “my” response, but the important part for me is actively putting in that spacer before returning a reply or next conclusion or alternative consideration. It sounds so appealing as I sit here imagining that! I have long remembered the acronym, “WAIT!”… for “Why Am I Talking???”… and until now, I always thought of it as a bit of ironic humor, as in “why am I wasting my time trying to make this point to this person or in this frustrating circumstance?!”… but from this morning’s reflection, I would like instead to think of it as, “What is it that I would actually, truly, profitably, like to communicate in this situation right now?” It is a tall order for me to be clear on that question, and definitely one worth spending my attention on!!!!! “Thank you, Grateful!”
Now I am looking forward to reading the other reflections here, but that was one I wanted to compose fresh from my own solo consideration first. . Thank you again!!
Fascinating, Carol Ann.
I can see a big benefit in allowing a moment for that pause
in the thought process
and in conversation with another person.
Love the WAIT (Why am I talking?)
I’d interpret that as you did in the second instance.
I believe that self awareness definitely starts with monitoring what we are saying to ourselves. As for our conversations with others, the best definition I have ever heard for the word “responsibility” is “the ability to respond” instead of react.
Great insight Carol.
No. Nothing jumps out. I’m comfortable in my own skin.
The thoughts of:
scarcity,
the what if’s,
will I be able to,
not believing in my capabilities.
When you are presented with a challenge,
dear Yram,
your strength will instinctively kick in
with love . . . ♥
Thank you!
How is your husband doing in regards to Covid, Yram?
How thoughtful of you to ask.
It is hard to separate what is covid and what is his chronic condition.
All in all things are improving.
Appointment day!
Yes. You and your husband are in my thoughts.
Sending love.