Tremendously and positively. I actually think it’s been a pretty awesome learning experience and helped shape me into being my unique self — without those unique experiences I would be someone different and I don’t think I want me to be someone different if that makes sense. I want to improve but essentially I like myself I suppose. It’s not that I’m perfect so much as I like being around me if that makes any sense. We all make mistakes, some towards others and others make mistakes in our lives, and actually it’s all OK — it’s just life unfolding. I think I perceive life very healthfully in a very odd way in the sense — it’s certainly not perfect and I’m no monk sitting atop a mountain with perfect peace nor do I have it all figured out — I don’t but it’s not really a hierarchy, it’s just BEING. Like I know that won’t make sense but the older I get the less I feel a need to determine what is and isn’t right to be — the more I feel comfortable with just everything being as it is. If I feel negative things or positive things, it’s all OK and right now is perfect as it is.
Unfortunately, not at all. Because I used to be much more caught up in my destructive thoughts and felt like a victim. I was just suffering and didn’t know how to live. I didn’t know that I was responsible for my own life and experiences. And I also didn’t know that I am so much more than a victim. That the world I experience is so much bigger. But now, I*ve learned it
I think of the butterfly story I heard years ago: The struggle to open her cocoon is what builds the strength in her wings. Without the struggle, the emerging new butterfly lacks the strength to fly and embark on her new journey in the world. Without this self-sustaining strength, she will perish.
Robin Ann, I thoroughly enjoy watching butterfly’s and also like their name in Spanish……… Mariposa. We have such a short growing season their appearance is especially welcome.
Robin, I’m all too familiar with the saying “Comfort zone is danger zone.” Attachment to comfort and overthinking are a couple negative commonalities Ngoc and I share. My mom’s pillers of: open-mindedness, optimism, and opportunity compliments us. She’s instrumental in connecting the couple during hardships through her unwavering positivity.
I think so many things come down to perspective. It’s easy to be grateful in seasons of ease, but much harder to practice it during seasons of hardship. My hardships have helped give me a lense through which to evaluate my current situations. Is this really a hardship or am I just a little overwhelmed or inconvenienced? What can I find to be grateful for In this time of unease.
Tia, you just brought up a great point. It’s very easy to allow our emotions to get the best of us. Overwhelm and hardship look similar. Looking beyond the surface takes practice. I value comfort. Therefore, it’s easy for me to confuse discomfort and hardship in the heat of the moment. In reality, the former is a bedtime story compared to the ladder.
The hardships and loss I have experienced have helped me to become grateful for what my body is capable of. It taught me how to take a step back and provide myself with what I need rather than what I think I should be doing. It brings balance and has made me more grateful long term. In the moment it’s hard to see, but with time gratefulness becomes more abundant.
Dealing with hardship and loss always brings changes. Transitioning to the new me who experienced those things has shaped who I am now. I’m comfortable with who I am and how I approach life so I have to be grateful for the lessons that brought me here as the person I am. I couldn’t have realized that as a younger person, I think. Now that I know this, when I face a new challenge I remind myself that I’ll get through this the way I’ve gotten through everything before and that someday this will be a layer of sediment buried by layers of new experiences and good things to come. The sting will fade, the lesson will remain.
A day full of laughter or a day full of sorrow will still pass in 24 hours. If I can endure periods of hardship with gratitude, my moments of challenge will feel lighter and more hopeful.
Since December of 23, we have had one “bug on the windshield ” after another. I have wanted to throw up my hands and give in. Maybe that is what I did because somewhere, somehow I found a spark to live and learn.
All of you have helped me and the many authors and kind people I have met.
When going thru tough times, if I can find a way to be grateful, I can see how it’s part of the flow of life. The tide comes in, the tide goes out. We all experience hardships. If we allow it, they contribute to our inner growth and often offer lessons of compassion, patience, and understanding. I’ve seen a Maya Angelou quote pop up a few times recently, so I must be needing it – “Every storm runs out of rain.” I do believe that there’s a light at the end of every tunnel.
I went looking for the source of the quotation and learned she’s quoting someone else. Here’s the full quotation (not sure which of her books or articles this is from):
“What I know is that it’s going to be better,” she said. “If it’s bad, it might get worse, but I know that it’s going to be better. And you have to know that. There’s a country song out now, which I wish I’d written, that says, ‘Every storm runs out of rain.’ I’d make a sign of that if I were you. Put that on your writing pad. No matter how dull and seemingly unpromising life is right now, it’s going to change. It’s going to be better. But you have to keep working.” ~~ Maya Angelou
Challenges in my love life regarding the woman who went great lengths to get her way along with the Big Island woman who happened to be besties I’ve talked about before gives me a greater appreciation for the woman I’ve married today in Ngoc for more than 4yrs. Paw Mu is very similar to Older Traditional Asian Adults. Going through that culture shock, loneliness for years, sensitivity, and receiving help from psychiatrists battling my mental health struggles over the years has heightened my ability to speak the truth in a manner that makes people feel comfortable.
Society values visibility. It’s either this side or that side. I’m a firm believer in the 3rd path. To put in a nutshell, the hardships in my life have only continued to shape me more into an independent.
Carol, this reminds me of some of your past answers of needing to trust yourself. Been there, and done that. I come from a culture with strong family ties making family attachment easier. Now, I can see more clearly the commonplace to which parents have high hopes for their children and will do everything it takes to make sure that they reach those goals. Children, on the other hand, become obedient to the point where it’s hard for them to think for themselves. They prioritize their family needs first that they end up neglecting their own.
Hardship and loss are what brought me
here. So yes, I can even be grateful
for hardship and loss. Not necessarily
in the moment, but certainly in
retrospect, I can see the gift that even
great loss can be. Yesterday, I think
Carol mentioned trust in life, and I think
that knowing I can be grateful and have
gratitude even in my suffering, gives me
a sense of trust in this cyclical nature.
My experiences with hardship and loss has forever changed my life and taught me how I want to navigate the world around me. 2022 shook me to my core and I’m still feeling like I’m trying to get my footing again. I kept experiencing loss after loss, back-to-back, in different areas of my life and it quite literally felt like I was being punched in the face left and right. Nonetheless, it was the same year I found great comfort in nature and spent my days hiking and swimming. I began feeling grounded, like I knew I had a connection with something larger than me. I also started an MBSR course (mindfulness based stressed reduction) where I learned how to cultivate a mindful perspective and that experience tremendously helped in providing tools to navigate pain and loss. Funny enough, their website has a page with various resources and that’s how I found out about Grateful Living!! I am, once again, grateful to be in this space with y’all. 🧡
As I often do I go back a day and “View More Questions”…replies that I have missed and comments that were written after I have visited this wonderful site. Today; I want to say THANK YOU to all who responded to me yesterday. What a gift you all are. Your comments help so very much. Once again I am in awe of all of you and your kindness and generosity. I am so very grateful to and for all of you.
Not long ago I was in the hospital for 9 days. My first ever hospitalization at age 72. During that time; I was totally dependent on people helping me. It was an extremely difficult time for me. I was not sure that I was going to live and for sure my life would change. I have to say how grateful I am for all the nurses, aides, etc that provided care and help to me. I know intellectually how blessed I was to be able to take care of myself. Only when I could no longer do that- did I learn to be truly grateful. I lost a part of who I was…and yet a new part was given. Life is not always easy…but I can always find something/someone to be grateful for. Out of the bad comes good. I am so very grateful to have this community and all of you.
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Tremendously and positively. I actually think it’s been a pretty awesome learning experience and helped shape me into being my unique self — without those unique experiences I would be someone different and I don’t think I want me to be someone different if that makes sense. I want to improve but essentially I like myself I suppose. It’s not that I’m perfect so much as I like being around me if that makes any sense. We all make mistakes, some towards others and others make mistakes in our lives, and actually it’s all OK — it’s just life unfolding. I think I perceive life very healthfully in a very odd way in the sense — it’s certainly not perfect and I’m no monk sitting atop a mountain with perfect peace nor do I have it all figured out — I don’t but it’s not really a hierarchy, it’s just BEING. Like I know that won’t make sense but the older I get the less I feel a need to determine what is and isn’t right to be — the more I feel comfortable with just everything being as it is. If I feel negative things or positive things, it’s all OK and right now is perfect as it is.
Unfortunately, not at all. Because I used to be much more caught up in my destructive thoughts and felt like a victim. I was just suffering and didn’t know how to live. I didn’t know that I was responsible for my own life and experiences. And I also didn’t know that I am so much more than a victim. That the world I experience is so much bigger. But now, I*ve learned it
I think of the butterfly story I heard years ago: The struggle to open her cocoon is what builds the strength in her wings. Without the struggle, the emerging new butterfly lacks the strength to fly and embark on her new journey in the world. Without this self-sustaining strength, she will perish.
Robin Ann, I thoroughly enjoy watching butterfly’s and also like their name in Spanish……… Mariposa. We have such a short growing season their appearance is especially welcome.
Oh I like that Mariposa!
Robin, I’m all too familiar with the saying “Comfort zone is danger zone.” Attachment to comfort and overthinking are a couple negative commonalities Ngoc and I share. My mom’s pillers of: open-mindedness, optimism, and opportunity compliments us. She’s instrumental in connecting the couple during hardships through her unwavering positivity.
Loc Tran, « comfort zone is a danger zone ». I wrote this in my notes this morning. Thanks for the succinct reminder.
No problem, Mary.
I think so many things come down to perspective. It’s easy to be grateful in seasons of ease, but much harder to practice it during seasons of hardship. My hardships have helped give me a lense through which to evaluate my current situations. Is this really a hardship or am I just a little overwhelmed or inconvenienced? What can I find to be grateful for In this time of unease.
Tia, you just brought up a great point. It’s very easy to allow our emotions to get the best of us. Overwhelm and hardship look similar. Looking beyond the surface takes practice. I value comfort. Therefore, it’s easy for me to confuse discomfort and hardship in the heat of the moment. In reality, the former is a bedtime story compared to the ladder.
The hardships and loss I have experienced have helped me to become grateful for what my body is capable of. It taught me how to take a step back and provide myself with what I need rather than what I think I should be doing. It brings balance and has made me more grateful long term. In the moment it’s hard to see, but with time gratefulness becomes more abundant.
A tremendous gift to yourself, recognizing the value of need over should.
Dealing with hardship and loss always brings changes. Transitioning to the new me who experienced those things has shaped who I am now. I’m comfortable with who I am and how I approach life so I have to be grateful for the lessons that brought me here as the person I am. I couldn’t have realized that as a younger person, I think. Now that I know this, when I face a new challenge I remind myself that I’ll get through this the way I’ve gotten through everything before and that someday this will be a layer of sediment buried by layers of new experiences and good things to come. The sting will fade, the lesson will remain.
Beautifully said Barb. “The sting will fade, the lesson will remain” — so true!
Barb, our experiences have a way of shaping us into who we are.
A day full of laughter or a day full of sorrow will still pass in 24 hours. If I can endure periods of hardship with gratitude, my moments of challenge will feel lighter and more hopeful.
My Ngoc, as they say, “It shall pass.”
Since December of 23, we have had one “bug on the windshield ” after another. I have wanted to throw up my hands and give in. Maybe that is what I did because somewhere, somehow I found a spark to live and learn.
All of you have helped me and the many authors and kind people I have met.
I am glad your hands did not go up, dear Yram.
When going thru tough times, if I can find a way to be grateful, I can see how it’s part of the flow of life. The tide comes in, the tide goes out. We all experience hardships. If we allow it, they contribute to our inner growth and often offer lessons of compassion, patience, and understanding. I’ve seen a Maya Angelou quote pop up a few times recently, so I must be needing it – “Every storm runs out of rain.” I do believe that there’s a light at the end of every tunnel.
I hadn’t seen that quotation before. I need it for my older daughter who keeps hitting heavy weather with various life events. Thank you.
I went looking for the source of the quotation and learned she’s quoting someone else. Here’s the full quotation (not sure which of her books or articles this is from):
“What I know is that it’s going to be better,” she said. “If it’s bad, it might get worse, but I know that it’s going to be better. And you have to know that. There’s a country song out now, which I wish I’d written, that says, ‘Every storm runs out of rain.’ I’d make a sign of that if I were you. Put that on your writing pad. No matter how dull and seemingly unpromising life is right now, it’s going to change. It’s going to be better. But you have to keep working.” ~~ Maya Angelou
And here’s the country song by Gary Allan–Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain) is the title. https://youtu.be/1q3LEadIk3w?si=2HGetW0Lbb9kRDMi
Thank you, Barb! For the full quote as well as the song link 🙂
Challenges in my love life regarding the woman who went great lengths to get her way along with the Big Island woman who happened to be besties I’ve talked about before gives me a greater appreciation for the woman I’ve married today in Ngoc for more than 4yrs. Paw Mu is very similar to Older Traditional Asian Adults. Going through that culture shock, loneliness for years, sensitivity, and receiving help from psychiatrists battling my mental health struggles over the years has heightened my ability to speak the truth in a manner that makes people feel comfortable.
Society values visibility. It’s either this side or that side. I’m a firm believer in the 3rd path. To put in a nutshell, the hardships in my life have only continued to shape me more into an independent.
Yes, Loc, we have to learn to trust ourselves and with that our independence grows. Life is our teacher.
Carol, this reminds me of some of your past answers of needing to trust yourself. Been there, and done that. I come from a culture with strong family ties making family attachment easier. Now, I can see more clearly the commonplace to which parents have high hopes for their children and will do everything it takes to make sure that they reach those goals. Children, on the other hand, become obedient to the point where it’s hard for them to think for themselves. They prioritize their family needs first that they end up neglecting their own.
Hardship and loss are what brought me
here. So yes, I can even be grateful
for hardship and loss. Not necessarily
in the moment, but certainly in
retrospect, I can see the gift that even
great loss can be. Yesterday, I think
Carol mentioned trust in life, and I think
that knowing I can be grateful and have
gratitude even in my suffering, gives me
a sense of trust in this cyclical nature.
Hardship and loss have brought sides of me to light that otherwise might still be hidden to me.
I appreciate this perspective, Mary.
My experiences with hardship and loss has forever changed my life and taught me how I want to navigate the world around me. 2022 shook me to my core and I’m still feeling like I’m trying to get my footing again. I kept experiencing loss after loss, back-to-back, in different areas of my life and it quite literally felt like I was being punched in the face left and right. Nonetheless, it was the same year I found great comfort in nature and spent my days hiking and swimming. I began feeling grounded, like I knew I had a connection with something larger than me. I also started an MBSR course (mindfulness based stressed reduction) where I learned how to cultivate a mindful perspective and that experience tremendously helped in providing tools to navigate pain and loss. Funny enough, their website has a page with various resources and that’s how I found out about Grateful Living!! I am, once again, grateful to be in this space with y’all. 🧡
I enjoy seeing your continued Positivity Jenifer – keep up the good work you are doing on yourself 🙂 We are all here for each other.
I participated in a MSBR program in May, June “22”. That program led me down the path to this wonderful site, Jenifer.
So glad to have you here!
As I often do I go back a day and “View More Questions”…replies that I have missed and comments that were written after I have visited this wonderful site. Today; I want to say THANK YOU to all who responded to me yesterday. What a gift you all are. Your comments help so very much. Once again I am in awe of all of you and your kindness and generosity. I am so very grateful to and for all of you.
Not long ago I was in the hospital for 9 days. My first ever hospitalization at age 72. During that time; I was totally dependent on people helping me. It was an extremely difficult time for me. I was not sure that I was going to live and for sure my life would change. I have to say how grateful I am for all the nurses, aides, etc that provided care and help to me. I know intellectually how blessed I was to be able to take care of myself. Only when I could no longer do that- did I learn to be truly grateful. I lost a part of who I was…and yet a new part was given. Life is not always easy…but I can always find something/someone to be grateful for. Out of the bad comes good. I am so very grateful to have this community and all of you.
I agree with Joseph – I am so glad you are a part of this Community and I enjoy reading all your reflections.
And I am glad to have met you Nannette, through your reflections.