Yes I have found there’s been healing of past memories or the pain has lifted from past experiences that left me with my defenses up like a porcupine, from practicing gratitude / living gratefully. I can’t afford resentments on my spiritual journey. Gentle Weekend to all as we transition into Friday! 🍁🧡
This is hardly a question for me,
as the response is a resounding and unequivocal ”yes”.
I can’t even be coy about it
or dress it up.
Gratefulness has made ALL of the difference,
and I have written about this before,
so forgive me if I am redundant.
I began to keep a list at one of the lowest points in my life . . .
I had read about the concept in ”Simple Abundance”
and had nothing to lose,
but the world to gain,
and if I am to be truthful,
I expected nothing
but went through the motions.
I was mortally depressed,
and had even thought of ways to exit this life,
but I forced myself
to sit at the kitchen table every day,
determined to find find five things
every day.
Some days
I was grateful that I hadn’t killed myself in the night,
or had not just walked into the wilderness nearby to disappear.
Some days
it was a reluctant acknowledgement of having clean water to drink,
or no policemen looking for me,
but gradually
I became grateful for signs of life . . .
an odd phone call from someone
who surprisingly cared for me,
or a beautiful sunrise,
or the fact that I had not been beaten that day,
which further evolved to being grateful for my eyesight,
my hearing,
my response to beauty,
to being alive.
It has taken years to be where I am now,
which I might add,
is not done,
where I am grateful for more things
than I can write down in a day,
even a ‘bad’ day,
for there is much to be learned from those too,
and I am always grateful for lessons I can understand
and do better because of.
So yes,
gratefulness
has been a major component of healing for me,
and has opened me
to other avenues of living my spiritual journey
through this physical life
and into my spiritual future. ♥
Sparrow, I am very grateful (written in bold ink if I could) that you have “stayed one more day” for many years now. Your words are often a balm to me with your insight(s) about the day’s reflection question. May you know there are many of us here who carry you in our prayers and thoughts each day. May you know more Peace and Joy. 🫶🏽Carla
Thank you,
dear Carla . . .
you honor me with your words.
I know you have struggles too,
and hold you in my heart as well.
As Barb and Carol Ann
have reminded me
“we are all just walking each other home.”
with love . . . ♥
Yes definitely! When I found this website merely by accident I felt hopeless and desperate. My daughter’s addiction became very life threatening and I felt paralyzed. She literally almost died. It was a miracle she happen to be taken to the hospital and it was there she had a heart attack at 32 yrs old. This website helped me gain hope and focus on what was going on in my life that was going well. It was the icing on the cake that I needed to get thru the dark tunnel I was stuck in. I belonged to support groups at the time and had taken courses on how to be the best support person to her.
Btw she is doing awesome and will be 2 yrs sober in January. She sponsors 2 young ladies and has a wonderful support of sober friendships. We have become very close and talk daily 💕🙏
Living gratefully has certainly been part of my healing. Living gratefully has helped me to frame my past experiences with gratitude, instead of anger or sadness or resentment. Instead, I try to see all of my past experiences with some gratitude. After all, these experiences have contributed to who I am right now. And right now, on this first stormy day of this winter season, I am grateful for so much. And I find it easy to be in touch with that gratitude. And that’s definitely an improvement for me. 😁
I’ve lived through some terrible times in my life, some of which actually happened. Mark Twain
I think I wrote this down from one of your previous reflections, Charlie. I have been definitely had some mental healing since practicing gratefulness.
Charlie, I’m with you. I’ve come to see how everything happens for a reason. As far as what ifs go, I’m all too familiar with the old saying on how the cookie crumbles.
Yesterday my friend told me about the Buddhist concept of the second arrow. The first arrow is whatever pain arises naturally in the course of life. The second arrow is my reaction to that pain, which creates drama and more suffering.
Gratefulness stops me from either administering or holding onto that second arrow. I’m able to stall and redirect my dramatic reactions to pain. Sometimes I can do it quickly, other times it takes a while. In that sense, gratefulness is a tool that allows me to heal.
Thank you for sharing this, I will look into it also. I did learn thru a course on families dealing with addition called ” Invitation to Change” and it is similar concept of learning not to over react. Neat stuff!!
Drea, the 2nd area you mentioned rings a bell. For me, that’s pleasure seeking and string-pulling. That leads to more suffering down the line. The more I’ve learned to face my discomfort and let go of agendas, the faster I heal.
That is actually huge for me, Drea. When I decide that it’s okay that I am feeling discomfort, I become much more comfortable. For me it’s my resistance that causes the most pain.
No problem, Drea. Even I can still work on that too. I run hot and cold in that area. There are more temptations out there in the west and modern age for pleasure-seeking and instant gratification. Greater discipline and consistency are required to pull it off. Knowing that neither you nor me are the only ones struggling with discomfort already helps.
For me, True Gratefulness is like love. It is a mind body connectedness – and when it comes into being or truly arrives, holds me in this bubble of possibility. I can go through the motions of Gratefulness just as I can live in a loveless marriage but that feels like hugging one of those life sized cardboard cut outs of the movie stars seen in the theater lobby. It’s something to do but it doesn’t “hug back”. When it’s true gratefulness, it picks me up in its powerful arms and holds me up to the window where I can see the amazing miracles that surround me. I cannot lose hope or live in my dis-ease if I am looking through that window. It is impossible. But ! I must climb into gratefulness’s arms and open my eyes . I am hoping that one day gratefulness will be automatic like my breath. That I can choose to stop or start but when I’m busy continues on its own in the background. Im so grateful for these reflection questions- and for the inspiring posts. Even though I really dont know any of you, I feel a special love and connection for you all. ❤️
Mary, I definitely get you. I find that being grateful for what I already have gives me that baseline. In most cases, the anxiety is reduced. This leads to comfort. Even if it’s not reduced, it either eventually happens or the anxiety certainly doesn’t add up further.
I share a Morning Meditation I wrote in 2023.
Morning Meds March 31 2023 Healing
Grate-full-ness changes “What if?” into “What Is.” It brings me into the now and breeds opportunity. It doesn’t necessarily take away physical or emotional pain but it helps me find and see a way through. It doesn’t necessarily bring a cure but it does bring healing. It defies “giving up” but has helped me to see the importance of “giving in.” It accents the wisdom of “rolling with the punches” and “going with the flow.”
Two quotes that have helped me define my understanding of what it means to heal and to be an instrument of healing in this world. They are pasted below.
“Our wounded child is not only us; he or she may represent several generations of ancestors. Our parents and ancestors may have suffered all their lives without knowing how to look after the wounded child in themselves, so they transmitted that child to us.So when we’re embracing the wounded child inside us, we’re embracing all the wounded children of past generations. This practice doesn’t just benefit us; it liberates numberless generations of ancestors and descendants. This practice can break the cycle.” -Thich Nhat Hanh The Art of Communicating
Henry Nouwen says, “Forgiving does not mean forgetting. When we forgive a person, the memory of the wound might stay with us for a long time, even throughout our lives. Sometimes we carry the memory in our bodies as a visible sign. But forgiveness changes the way we remember. It converts the curse into a blessing. When we forgive our parents for their divorce, our children for their lack of attention, our friends for their unfaithfulness in crisis, our doctors for their ill advice, we no longer have to experience ourselves as the victims of events we had no control over. Forgiveness allows us to claim our own power and not let these events destroy us; it enables them to become events that deepen the wisdom of our hearts. Forgiveness indeed heals memories.”
Wow. Thank you. Both of those quotes really hit home for me, especially the TNH quote. I have been working on healing the wounded child and the generational trauma that has been passed on to me. I’m so grateful for my yoga therapist in what we’ve uncovered together, but also for gems like this here on this website to remind me how important the work is. Even if I don’t have any children of my own, I am doing the best I can to break the cycle.
Patti, I definitely believe that any progress I make helps and comforts those who came before me and those that come after me. Creation is One. If I evolve, if you evolve, we are lifting up the consciousness of the whole Universe. I use to volunteer in a alternative medical clinic many years ago in Arizona. Sometimes I ran the kitchen, sometimes I was the receptionist, sometimes I was part of a Reiki team. We held a free clinic (in a church no less!) once a month and I met a woman whose energy field was so strong, loving and humble. She gave spiritual readings and I decided to schedule an appointment with her. When she called on my ancestors, I could see a bunch of what would have been elderly women to me at the time (I was much younger then!). She said, “They want to help you, give you strength.” In that moment, I knew I could and would claim their love and strength. I knew I could call on them any time I needed them. Why, because they wanted me to succeed. I was the fruit of their journey and the circle of life cannot be broken. Anything I learn goes both ways. It nurtures those who came before and those who come after. The most important birth is the virgin birth. The birth of greater self-awareness and so my mantra is “Let it BE. Yes, break the cycle and strengthen the circle of Life.
Everything we do to make ourselves better makes the world better. I believe!
Really cool about your spiritual reading. I know when we are open to receive, it is always there for us 🙏🏼
I love this bit : “Our wounded child is not only us; he or she may represent several generations of ancestors. Our parents and ancestors may have suffered all their lives without knowing how to look after the wounded child in themselves, so they transmitted that child to us.So when we’re embracing the wounded child inside us, we’re embracing all the wounded children of past generations. This practice doesn’t just benefit us; it liberates numberless generations of ancestors and descendants. ” This idea really feeds into compassion ❤️ It doesn’t surprise me its a Thich Nhat Hahn quote – everything he said makes complete sense to me!!!
Heather, I decided several years ago that when I grow or heal in some way so do my ancestors and my descendants. I’m a strong believer in calling on my ancestors when I need strength and feeling their presence fully supporting me because I feel like I am their second chance. As for my descendants, anything I learn is not lost. It is nurturing their consciousness.
Charlie, Our wounded child has a pretty big scab or scar and sometimes it itches! In my case, she is always there and so is the bully so I just tell the bully to hush and I pick her up and remind her that together we can and will make it. Hug your child for me.
I had not heard of Henry Nouwen and looked him up after reading this quote. What an interesting and thoughtful person, I’d like to read one of his books now.
Drea, I recall reading a book that I think was called “The Wounded Healer.” I also have looked Nouwen up on youtube. He gives a powerful sermon on his belief that we are God’s Beloved.
YES! and it is now or never to live my dream. Somehow, after so many years, life and having learned to live gratefully no matter the circumstances life offers to me, together with having learned to open up to trusted friends, life offered me the gift to find the event /door, where my whole being closed up to protect myself and where my childlike openness altered capacity to trust again unconditionally to a modus of “nothing shall hurt me anymore”, staying friendly and kind in heart towards others but in inner distance, in a kind of neutral inner state, where i could be there for others with all my heart while in the same time hiding myself from being approached or seen in my frozen state of fear, panic and deep sadness. All my life i tried to alter this but could not, so that since childhood, i was stuck in this mental prison, rejecting anyone to come too close in order not to be seen in this helpless state, to which i would have no alternative in behaving than freeze or flee or, the worst, fight.
Gratefulness and you all here as well as the Word for the. day and dear friends in heart stayed despite heavy situations and manyfold attempts to get me moved internally, but it simply did not work. Then recently, i realized that all will come to a close, as time in this realm to bring it to a “happy end” would run out soon. And magically, this site helped me to find and open the door to feel and understand the starting point and in the same time having developed to be grateful for whatever would turn up in my life, good or bad, happy or sad, i would be able to take it by now, so to say., due to gratefulness cultivated.
Ths all happened just recently, but since, i am internally transforming. What comes up is my intense inner wish to be of service for Buddha, God, the Universal loving Energy or however you would call it. I felt and expressed this before but could not stick to it because the shadows of fear and despair would always overtake so that nothing could transform. This feels like a deep healing now, inner conflicts calm down, sensing inner peace about whatever might come will be ok, able to accepting Buddha´s / God´s will, while still hoping it would be possible to be congruent with my inner longing for meditation and, if possible, together with dear friends in heart, helping others to find the light and deep healing, too.
So Gratefulness is one of the most important keys to have this process of healing become true, it required as well you here, the gratefulness-team and dear trusted friends who were willing to wholeheartedly accompany me in despair as well as in our shared life otherwise, for which i cannot be grateful enough. From my side, it especially required not to give up, instead open up to Gratefulness no matter what i had to be confronted with – my deepseated fears, aggression when feeling being left out again, deep despair about seemingly no way out, no way to transform this – while being on this journey to healing. I don´t know what comes up next, if another aspects which need to be healed may suddenly appear. For the moment being, I am deeply grateful to you and all the dear ones concerned for your enormous support and hope expressing this process may inspire and may ignite Hope in others who may sit in the dark, like i did also for decades. Gratefulness helps so much to be able to give back to Buddha / God what belongs to this universal loving energy. So conclusion is that evolving Gratefulness in heart was and is a core element to healing. With a deep bow to you and to all. And please excuse my long post for now.
Ose, you describe your mental prison and breaking free so beautifully. You have been at this a long time and it sounds like things are finally opening up. Sending love.
Drea, the mental prison and breaking free rings a bell. Pulling strings to get my way has led me to that mental prison before. Letting go of agendas helps me break free. Agendas and overthinking go together. When I act out of integrity, I find it easier to enjoy the moment and move forward.
Ose, Thanks so much for sharing with us. I can relate with so much of what you have shared here. It reminds me of the following quote which I have found helpful on my gratefulness journey:
“We all have generational shadows. These shadows are handed down like waves of deep conscious pain traveling through the human condition like a virus.When I find myself experiencing the crashing wave of generational shadow, I find strength in knowing I am doing the work for all of my ancestors, all of my descendants, along with myself. And yes, the rest of the world as well. We are all just walking each other home.”
Steven Twowig Sr
Yes. My relationship with my root people has improve. I develop connections through common interests. It starts out with my mom and me having shared interests in collaborative Vietnamese poetry writing and karaoke. Luckily, I’m only an introvert rooted in haitrid for gossipping which makes me an extroverted introvert. Other than that, I don’t have a fear of people, because I’m open to new things.
Even my relationship with Ngoc has improved too. Her English has gotten better over the years while I continue to work on my Vietnamese out of interest and to move closer to her and my root people. Her already having the attributes that attract me in a natural sweet voice and long hair already helps.
It’s easier to focus more on the I and the P commonality. Ngoc and I prefer to spend time alone than with people and prioritize flexibility over planning on a surface level. Spending time alone is like spending time together. That’s stating the obvious.
Ngoc and I balance each other with the head and heart. Her heart reduces many inner burdens on me. My head gives her more techniques in how to care for others. Coming from a culture where 10 people sit at a table eating rice and soup, we’re used to care being just care and advice being just advice without layers.
I find that more connections through common interests and knowledge areas helps with healing, letting go, and weathering the storm in incompatible environments.
My recent morning stretches listening to a meditation has been a big help as I start the day, often with worries and challenges as I face a new day. Helps ground me, so yes, I am grateful for this time i set aside each day.
I think the grateful acceptance of my group has helped me in my addiction.
That monkey is still there, and occasionally finds me.
But, its frequency of dominance has been greatly reduced over the three years I have been part of the group.
Yes, 1,000 times yes. Grateful living has shown me Dolly’s rainbows in the storms, ( paraphrasing her quote, shown me the light in the dark and the lesson in the struggle. It has shown me closing doors lead to open ones and all that “ wander are not lost”.
It has given true meaning to the wisdom so often shared but taken for granted.
I am not sure if I can call my changes healing; I think of my shifting as unfolding and transformation. Gratefulness, not gratitude– I am a stickler for the semantics of Br. David– is becoming integral to my identity. Although, ironically, my identity is how I show up in the world, it is not my true nature. Gratefulness is a towards move. Gratefulness, mindfulness, spirituality, courage, and kindness, are among my chief values. When I embody these energies I feel presence and peace. Gratefulness didn’t heal me, it helps me uncover my True Nature. Notice I said, “helps”; this unfolding is an ongoing process.
I believe I have experienced healing as a result of living gratefully. Living gratefully each day is grounding and gives a sense of peace. I am grateful to have found this site. I learn from each and everyone of you. https://nationaltoday.com/world-kindness-day/
loving kindness to all ☮
Last weekend while out running errands with a friend I bought a sticker with a rainbow and the words Be Kind. It now adorns my water bottle (accompanied by another sticker purchased on an outing with a different friend, “Emotional Support Water Bottle”).
Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.
Yes I have found there’s been healing of past memories or the pain has lifted from past experiences that left me with my defenses up like a porcupine, from practicing gratitude / living gratefully. I can’t afford resentments on my spiritual journey. Gentle Weekend to all as we transition into Friday! 🍁🧡
♥
Have a nice weekend, Carla!
This is hardly a question for me,
as the response is a resounding and unequivocal ”yes”.
I can’t even be coy about it
or dress it up.
Gratefulness has made ALL of the difference,
and I have written about this before,
so forgive me if I am redundant.
I began to keep a list at one of the lowest points in my life . . .
I had read about the concept in ”Simple Abundance”
and had nothing to lose,
but the world to gain,
and if I am to be truthful,
I expected nothing
but went through the motions.
I was mortally depressed,
and had even thought of ways to exit this life,
but I forced myself
to sit at the kitchen table every day,
determined to find find five things
every day.
Some days
I was grateful that I hadn’t killed myself in the night,
or had not just walked into the wilderness nearby to disappear.
Some days
it was a reluctant acknowledgement of having clean water to drink,
or no policemen looking for me,
but gradually
I became grateful for signs of life . . .
an odd phone call from someone
who surprisingly cared for me,
or a beautiful sunrise,
or the fact that I had not been beaten that day,
which further evolved to being grateful for my eyesight,
my hearing,
my response to beauty,
to being alive.
It has taken years to be where I am now,
which I might add,
is not done,
where I am grateful for more things
than I can write down in a day,
even a ‘bad’ day,
for there is much to be learned from those too,
and I am always grateful for lessons I can understand
and do better because of.
So yes,
gratefulness
has been a major component of healing for me,
and has opened me
to other avenues of living my spiritual journey
through this physical life
and into my spiritual future. ♥
Sparrow, I am very grateful (written in bold ink if I could) that you have “stayed one more day” for many years now. Your words are often a balm to me with your insight(s) about the day’s reflection question. May you know there are many of us here who carry you in our prayers and thoughts each day. May you know more Peace and Joy. 🫶🏽Carla
Thank you,
dear Carla . . .
you honor me with your words.
I know you have struggles too,
and hold you in my heart as well.
As Barb and Carol Ann
have reminded me
“we are all just walking each other home.”
with love . . . ♥
Yes definitely! When I found this website merely by accident I felt hopeless and desperate. My daughter’s addiction became very life threatening and I felt paralyzed. She literally almost died. It was a miracle she happen to be taken to the hospital and it was there she had a heart attack at 32 yrs old. This website helped me gain hope and focus on what was going on in my life that was going well. It was the icing on the cake that I needed to get thru the dark tunnel I was stuck in. I belonged to support groups at the time and had taken courses on how to be the best support person to her.
Btw she is doing awesome and will be 2 yrs sober in January. She sponsors 2 young ladies and has a wonderful support of sober friendships. We have become very close and talk daily 💕🙏
very happy for both of you 💗
Please give your daughter my regards and respect, Robin Ann.
Living gratefully has certainly been part of my healing. Living gratefully has helped me to frame my past experiences with gratitude, instead of anger or sadness or resentment. Instead, I try to see all of my past experiences with some gratitude. After all, these experiences have contributed to who I am right now. And right now, on this first stormy day of this winter season, I am grateful for so much. And I find it easy to be in touch with that gratitude. And that’s definitely an improvement for me. 😁
I’ve lived through some terrible times in my life, some of which actually happened. Mark Twain
I think I wrote this down from one of your previous reflections, Charlie. I have been definitely had some mental healing since practicing gratefulness.
This is my philosophy too, Charlie. Walking the path I was on brought me to where and who I am now and I’m good with that.
Charlie, I’m with you. I’ve come to see how everything happens for a reason. As far as what ifs go, I’m all too familiar with the old saying on how the cookie crumbles.
Yesterday my friend told me about the Buddhist concept of the second arrow. The first arrow is whatever pain arises naturally in the course of life. The second arrow is my reaction to that pain, which creates drama and more suffering.
Gratefulness stops me from either administering or holding onto that second arrow. I’m able to stall and redirect my dramatic reactions to pain. Sometimes I can do it quickly, other times it takes a while. In that sense, gratefulness is a tool that allows me to heal.
Thank you for sharing this, I will look into it also. I did learn thru a course on families dealing with addition called ” Invitation to Change” and it is similar concept of learning not to over react. Neat stuff!!
Drea, I’ve not heard about first and second arrows. Thank you. I’ll look into it. Peace, Carla
Drea, the 2nd area you mentioned rings a bell. For me, that’s pleasure seeking and string-pulling. That leads to more suffering down the line. The more I’ve learned to face my discomfort and let go of agendas, the faster I heal.
Loc, thank you, facing my own discomfort is a good way to think of it. Being comfortable with discomfort … working on that one for sure.
That is actually huge for me, Drea. When I decide that it’s okay that I am feeling discomfort, I become much more comfortable. For me it’s my resistance that causes the most pain.
No problem, Drea. Even I can still work on that too. I run hot and cold in that area. There are more temptations out there in the west and modern age for pleasure-seeking and instant gratification. Greater discipline and consistency are required to pull it off. Knowing that neither you nor me are the only ones struggling with discomfort already helps.
For me, True Gratefulness is like love. It is a mind body connectedness – and when it comes into being or truly arrives, holds me in this bubble of possibility. I can go through the motions of Gratefulness just as I can live in a loveless marriage but that feels like hugging one of those life sized cardboard cut outs of the movie stars seen in the theater lobby. It’s something to do but it doesn’t “hug back”. When it’s true gratefulness, it picks me up in its powerful arms and holds me up to the window where I can see the amazing miracles that surround me. I cannot lose hope or live in my dis-ease if I am looking through that window. It is impossible. But ! I must climb into gratefulness’s arms and open my eyes . I am hoping that one day gratefulness will be automatic like my breath. That I can choose to stop or start but when I’m busy continues on its own in the background. Im so grateful for these reflection questions- and for the inspiring posts. Even though I really dont know any of you, I feel a special love and connection for you all. ❤️
I agree – I feel the love and connection of all who reflect here and this is a wonderful group that is very healing 🙂
Thank you HeatherHoney. I too feel the love and connection of all who reflect here.
Glad you are part of this wonderful group that is very healing ☺️
When I am feeling anxious, focusing on gratefulness can lessen the anxiety, or occasionally, completely shift my mind from anxiety to comfort.
Mary, I definitely get you. I find that being grateful for what I already have gives me that baseline. In most cases, the anxiety is reduced. This leads to comfort. Even if it’s not reduced, it either eventually happens or the anxiety certainly doesn’t add up further.
I share a Morning Meditation I wrote in 2023.
Morning Meds March 31 2023 Healing
Grate-full-ness changes “What if?” into “What Is.” It brings me into the now and breeds opportunity. It doesn’t necessarily take away physical or emotional pain but it helps me find and see a way through. It doesn’t necessarily bring a cure but it does bring healing. It defies “giving up” but has helped me to see the importance of “giving in.” It accents the wisdom of “rolling with the punches” and “going with the flow.”
Two quotes that have helped me define my understanding of what it means to heal and to be an instrument of healing in this world. They are pasted below.
“Our wounded child is not only us; he or she may represent several generations of ancestors. Our parents and ancestors may have suffered all their lives without knowing how to look after the wounded child in themselves, so they transmitted that child to us.So when we’re embracing the wounded child inside us, we’re embracing all the wounded children of past generations. This practice doesn’t just benefit us; it liberates numberless generations of ancestors and descendants. This practice can break the cycle.” -Thich Nhat Hanh The Art of Communicating
Henry Nouwen says, “Forgiving does not mean forgetting. When we forgive a person, the memory of the wound might stay with us for a long time, even throughout our lives. Sometimes we carry the memory in our bodies as a visible sign. But forgiveness changes the way we remember. It converts the curse into a blessing. When we forgive our parents for their divorce, our children for their lack of attention, our friends for their unfaithfulness in crisis, our doctors for their ill advice, we no longer have to experience ourselves as the victims of events we had no control over. Forgiveness allows us to claim our own power and not let these events destroy us; it enables them to become events that deepen the wisdom of our hearts. Forgiveness indeed heals memories.”
Wow. Thank you. Both of those quotes really hit home for me, especially the TNH quote. I have been working on healing the wounded child and the generational trauma that has been passed on to me. I’m so grateful for my yoga therapist in what we’ve uncovered together, but also for gems like this here on this website to remind me how important the work is. Even if I don’t have any children of my own, I am doing the best I can to break the cycle.
Patti, I definitely believe that any progress I make helps and comforts those who came before me and those that come after me. Creation is One. If I evolve, if you evolve, we are lifting up the consciousness of the whole Universe. I use to volunteer in a alternative medical clinic many years ago in Arizona. Sometimes I ran the kitchen, sometimes I was the receptionist, sometimes I was part of a Reiki team. We held a free clinic (in a church no less!) once a month and I met a woman whose energy field was so strong, loving and humble. She gave spiritual readings and I decided to schedule an appointment with her. When she called on my ancestors, I could see a bunch of what would have been elderly women to me at the time (I was much younger then!). She said, “They want to help you, give you strength.” In that moment, I knew I could and would claim their love and strength. I knew I could call on them any time I needed them. Why, because they wanted me to succeed. I was the fruit of their journey and the circle of life cannot be broken. Anything I learn goes both ways. It nurtures those who came before and those who come after. The most important birth is the virgin birth. The birth of greater self-awareness and so my mantra is “Let it BE. Yes, break the cycle and strengthen the circle of Life.
Everything we do to make ourselves better makes the world better. I believe!
Really cool about your spiritual reading. I know when we are open to receive, it is always there for us 🙏🏼
The generational trauma of our ancestors.
Thank you Carol – I definitely believe the “wounded child is passed on”
I love this bit : “Our wounded child is not only us; he or she may represent several generations of ancestors. Our parents and ancestors may have suffered all their lives without knowing how to look after the wounded child in themselves, so they transmitted that child to us.So when we’re embracing the wounded child inside us, we’re embracing all the wounded children of past generations. This practice doesn’t just benefit us; it liberates numberless generations of ancestors and descendants. ” This idea really feeds into compassion ❤️ It doesn’t surprise me its a Thich Nhat Hahn quote – everything he said makes complete sense to me!!!
Heather, I decided several years ago that when I grow or heal in some way so do my ancestors and my descendants. I’m a strong believer in calling on my ancestors when I need strength and feeling their presence fully supporting me because I feel like I am their second chance. As for my descendants, anything I learn is not lost. It is nurturing their consciousness.
Yes, Carol Ann, I’ve been thinking about that wounded child this morning. So, your message is timely. As usual. Thank you 🙏
Charlie, Our wounded child has a pretty big scab or scar and sometimes it itches! In my case, she is always there and so is the bully so I just tell the bully to hush and I pick her up and remind her that together we can and will make it. Hug your child for me.
I had not heard of Henry Nouwen and looked him up after reading this quote. What an interesting and thoughtful person, I’d like to read one of his books now.
Drea, I recall reading a book that I think was called “The Wounded Healer.” I also have looked Nouwen up on youtube. He gives a powerful sermon on his belief that we are God’s Beloved.
YES! and it is now or never to live my dream. Somehow, after so many years, life and having learned to live gratefully no matter the circumstances life offers to me, together with having learned to open up to trusted friends, life offered me the gift to find the event /door, where my whole being closed up to protect myself and where my childlike openness altered capacity to trust again unconditionally to a modus of “nothing shall hurt me anymore”, staying friendly and kind in heart towards others but in inner distance, in a kind of neutral inner state, where i could be there for others with all my heart while in the same time hiding myself from being approached or seen in my frozen state of fear, panic and deep sadness. All my life i tried to alter this but could not, so that since childhood, i was stuck in this mental prison, rejecting anyone to come too close in order not to be seen in this helpless state, to which i would have no alternative in behaving than freeze or flee or, the worst, fight.
Gratefulness and you all here as well as the Word for the. day and dear friends in heart stayed despite heavy situations and manyfold attempts to get me moved internally, but it simply did not work. Then recently, i realized that all will come to a close, as time in this realm to bring it to a “happy end” would run out soon. And magically, this site helped me to find and open the door to feel and understand the starting point and in the same time having developed to be grateful for whatever would turn up in my life, good or bad, happy or sad, i would be able to take it by now, so to say., due to gratefulness cultivated.
Ths all happened just recently, but since, i am internally transforming. What comes up is my intense inner wish to be of service for Buddha, God, the Universal loving Energy or however you would call it. I felt and expressed this before but could not stick to it because the shadows of fear and despair would always overtake so that nothing could transform. This feels like a deep healing now, inner conflicts calm down, sensing inner peace about whatever might come will be ok, able to accepting Buddha´s / God´s will, while still hoping it would be possible to be congruent with my inner longing for meditation and, if possible, together with dear friends in heart, helping others to find the light and deep healing, too.
So Gratefulness is one of the most important keys to have this process of healing become true, it required as well you here, the gratefulness-team and dear trusted friends who were willing to wholeheartedly accompany me in despair as well as in our shared life otherwise, for which i cannot be grateful enough. From my side, it especially required not to give up, instead open up to Gratefulness no matter what i had to be confronted with – my deepseated fears, aggression when feeling being left out again, deep despair about seemingly no way out, no way to transform this – while being on this journey to healing. I don´t know what comes up next, if another aspects which need to be healed may suddenly appear. For the moment being, I am deeply grateful to you and all the dear ones concerned for your enormous support and hope expressing this process may inspire and may ignite Hope in others who may sit in the dark, like i did also for decades. Gratefulness helps so much to be able to give back to Buddha / God what belongs to this universal loving energy. So conclusion is that evolving Gratefulness in heart was and is a core element to healing. With a deep bow to you and to all. And please excuse my long post for now.
The Divine in me,
dear Ose,
bows to the Divine in you
with love . . . ♥
namaste 🙏🏼
Namaste, dear Ose.
Yes, Ose, I feel like we are on parallel paths. Thank you for your thoughtful sharing. 🙏
Ose, you describe your mental prison and breaking free so beautifully. You have been at this a long time and it sounds like things are finally opening up. Sending love.
Drea, the mental prison and breaking free rings a bell. Pulling strings to get my way has led me to that mental prison before. Letting go of agendas helps me break free. Agendas and overthinking go together. When I act out of integrity, I find it easier to enjoy the moment and move forward.
Ose, Thanks so much for sharing with us. I can relate with so much of what you have shared here. It reminds me of the following quote which I have found helpful on my gratefulness journey:
“We all have generational shadows. These shadows are handed down like waves of deep conscious pain traveling through the human condition like a virus.When I find myself experiencing the crashing wave of generational shadow, I find strength in knowing I am doing the work for all of my ancestors, all of my descendants, along with myself. And yes, the rest of the world as well. We are all just walking each other home.”
Steven Twowig Sr
Oh, interesting. I’ve seen “We are all just walking each other home” attributed to Ram Dass. I wonder if one of them was quoting the other.
I am too,
dear Barb,
and was taken aback when I read it . . .
I know nothing about Steven Twowig, Sr.
and will be sure to look him up.
ps. I love the quote. ♥
I’m pretty sure the quote started with Ram Dass.
Yes. My relationship with my root people has improve. I develop connections through common interests. It starts out with my mom and me having shared interests in collaborative Vietnamese poetry writing and karaoke. Luckily, I’m only an introvert rooted in haitrid for gossipping which makes me an extroverted introvert. Other than that, I don’t have a fear of people, because I’m open to new things.
Even my relationship with Ngoc has improved too. Her English has gotten better over the years while I continue to work on my Vietnamese out of interest and to move closer to her and my root people. Her already having the attributes that attract me in a natural sweet voice and long hair already helps.
It’s easier to focus more on the I and the P commonality. Ngoc and I prefer to spend time alone than with people and prioritize flexibility over planning on a surface level. Spending time alone is like spending time together. That’s stating the obvious.
Ngoc and I balance each other with the head and heart. Her heart reduces many inner burdens on me. My head gives her more techniques in how to care for others. Coming from a culture where 10 people sit at a table eating rice and soup, we’re used to care being just care and advice being just advice without layers.
I find that more connections through common interests and knowledge areas helps with healing, letting go, and weathering the storm in incompatible environments.
My recent morning stretches listening to a meditation has been a big help as I start the day, often with worries and challenges as I face a new day. Helps ground me, so yes, I am grateful for this time i set aside each day.
I think the grateful acceptance of my group has helped me in my addiction.
That monkey is still there, and occasionally finds me.
But, its frequency of dominance has been greatly reduced over the three years I have been part of the group.
I find it best to invite that damn monkey into my lap, instead of trying to shoot him out of the branches, John.
Yes, 1,000 times yes. Grateful living has shown me Dolly’s rainbows in the storms, ( paraphrasing her quote, shown me the light in the dark and the lesson in the struggle. It has shown me closing doors lead to open ones and all that “ wander are not lost”.
It has given true meaning to the wisdom so often shared but taken for granted.
Deann, yes! “It has given true meaning to the wisdom so often shared but taken for granted.” Well said.
I am not sure if I can call my changes healing; I think of my shifting as unfolding and transformation. Gratefulness, not gratitude– I am a stickler for the semantics of Br. David– is becoming integral to my identity. Although, ironically, my identity is how I show up in the world, it is not my true nature. Gratefulness is a towards move. Gratefulness, mindfulness, spirituality, courage, and kindness, are among my chief values. When I embody these energies I feel presence and peace. Gratefulness didn’t heal me, it helps me uncover my True Nature. Notice I said, “helps”; this unfolding is an ongoing process.
Wisdom…thank you, Avril.
I find humility beautiful and I see beauty in your post
I believe I have experienced healing as a result of living gratefully. Living gratefully each day is grounding and gives a sense of peace. I am grateful to have found this site. I learn from each and everyone of you.
https://nationaltoday.com/world-kindness-day/
loving kindness to all ☮
Loving kindness and peace to you Michele. Thank you.
Last weekend while out running errands with a friend I bought a sticker with a rainbow and the words Be Kind. It now adorns my water bottle (accompanied by another sticker purchased on an outing with a different friend, “Emotional Support Water Bottle”).
Love it 😀
Thank you for telling me today is kindness day. I’m inspired
Oh awesome– National Kindness Day, woohoo!