Many years ago, singer, songwriter, Arlo Guthrie, son of the late, great, Woody Guthrie, smack dab in the middle of a concert he was headlining, stopped the music, paused in a moment of reflection and said, “What good is light without a dark place to stick it in?“ Again, “What good is light without a dark place to stick it in?”
Arlo, I am guessing, would be the first to say that he is no theologian nor noted philosopher, but those words and their concept have stuck with me down through the years which I have put to work both in every day circles of living life and in occasions of the work and tug of ministry as well.
My takeaway has always been to pay attention to darkness because it is one of the best ways to find light, and in my view, spiritual Light. Light, and spiritual Light, is found aplenty in our places of worship and upon land understood and received as sacred. But it’s the dark places, the lowly junkyards, those places less trodden, that have drawn me in and lit my way forward in light and most especially, in spiritual Light.
Turning toward my faith and support from others during dark times. Darkness is part of life, the way thru it is to know it won’t last forever to try to push thru it the best you can and to have hope for better days ahead.
What helps me face the dark rather than turn away from it? I do better and facing the dark since I made the decision that Life is trustworthy and that I will be shown a way. Meditation helps when I am in the throws of anxiety because it helps me stay in the NOW and I’m a firm believer in calling on my ancestors and claiming their strength. I truly believe that there is a part of each and everyone of us that has never been afraid and we can call it forth. A wrote a meditation in 2018 inspired by a quote from Maya Angelou that reminds me that sometimes facing the dark makes me trudge but that’s OK.
Morning Med March 2 2018 It’s Okay to Trudge
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” Maya Angelou
Good Morning, Sometimes we trudge. I had never thought much about that word until the late 1970s when my husband of 18 years was wandering drunk in our barnyard in an alcohol induced blackout. I had just returned from a week long trip. I had tried to run away by visiting a beautiful and compassionate friend but though “you can run.You cannot hide” from reality.
Defeat is a given. We are going to fail many times in our life but I love how Angelou separates the experience of “a defeat” from the experience of “being defeated.” She is saying that “a defeat” should not define you.
On that night long ago, my husband came out of that blackout with his shotgun in his mouth. He was experiencing a “life-threatening defeat” but thankfully, he was not defeated. He found himself running back into the house, heaving his guts and uttering the words, “God help me.”
When he left this earth many years later, he had over 30 years of sobriety. We were no longer married but I have deep admiration for him. He was not defeated by the disease of alcoholism.
Our divorce was not about his alcoholism. It was about a relationship forged in fear that was ended by us both out of love. It was a massive experience of defeat for me. I had come from a broken home and I was determined not to have a broken home. But in retrospect, it was a “coming home” to my self. It was owning my own baggage. Baggage that had very little to do with him.
When we experience a defeat, it’s okay not to be okay. My closest friends will tell you that I almost died the summer of 1995 as I grappled with the reality that the wounds in our relationship could not be healed. To this day whenever someone tells me that they are praying for God’s will, I am transported back to that summer when I learned that God’s will begins with the acceptance of reality. Without that acceptance, wounds owned or heaedl.
I wish I could tell you that I was immediately able to grasp that lesson but it has taken me many years to totally own it, to give thanks for it and to accept that sometimes I trudge.
Getting enough rest. My husband is in rehab for a fall and I have been so worried about him. I have been running back and forth to see him. I took the day off yesterday as others were going to visit him. I rested, ate and read an entire book. It helped me rebalance my energy from worry and fear to hopefulness.
I’m okay with the dark. I mean, I would
rather be light and happy and fun all the
time, but I know that’s not how this works.
Sadness, despair, hopelessness, loneliness,
regret, and more are all part of this life.
It’s when I don’t have balance, with love,
joy, pleasure, awe, connection, and
gratitude, that things go sideways.
Keeping these feelings and emotions
nearby, to remind me that they are
still there and are available to me,
makes the darkness less terrifying.
I understand the question as they intended it to be received but I pay a lot of attention to the words we use and I need to engage with it from a different angle.
This question embeds the assumption that the dark is something I would turn away from. Taking darkness literally, I have no reason to turn away from it. Without the night we wouldn’t see the stars. Without darkness my sleep wouldn’t be deep and restful. Everything in the natural world requires periods of darkness as well as light to grow and thrive. The increasing brightness of an electrified world has disrupted natural cycles and migratory patterns. We need the dark!
Taking it metaphorically, I have to point out that the English language embeds darkness as bad, lightness as good, and that carries implicit bias that shapes attitudes toward race. Think of all the phrases, like going to the dark side, the dark arts, heart of darkness. This is a very real effect–research article that illustrates it and links to other research https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-bad-is-black-effect/.
For the reference to difficulty or depression that’s probably intended here, a long time ago I came to recognize that most times the only way out is through, and also that many things I’ve had to deal with lose their sting with time. Whether I face something, ignore it, or wait it out, this too shall pass.
I have gone through many dark times as most of us here have. I have learned & am still learning to Surrender, to let go, to embrace the dark, to give it up to the Divine. Prayer & meditation have guided me through alot of the difficulties as well as many other things like yoga & walking. Mother Nature too….
After so many ups & downs I know that I am a survivor & this too shall pass.
Happy Beautiful Sunday to All ..😊✨🙏🏻🐰🐰
There have been so many times when the dark has frightened me. And what I have learned is that I sort of have to let it overtake me, the reality of what is. It seems to be part of the process for me bringing myself to a place where I realize I don’t have to deal with this myself. There is Spirit and there are a few trusted folks who will be helpful if I open up to them.
I am faced with a new physical challenge this a.m. I am not sure how to deal with it. I will have to turn to the light I know and get a solution. It is hard to believe all of this can come at once
Honestly, when I first encounter darkness, my initial reaction is to run away from it. However, I soon realize that escaping it isn’t always possible. So, I must face it. When the thought of facing darkness arises, I start looking for ways to deal with it. For example, a year ago, I discovered that my left eye would go completely blind due to retinal detachment. At the moment I heard this news, I asked the doctor if there was any way to rescue it. As the doctor said there was no way to save it, I learned to accept and enjoy the little vision I had left in my left eye until it was completely gone. Despite the darkness in my left eye, I am grateful for the 10% vision in my right eye, as it allows me to sit here, open the Grateful Living site, and share my thoughts with all of you!
Happy Sunday, everyone!
My Ngoc, every bit of vision makes a big difference. I, at least, get to enjoy your long hair. As far as running away from the dark, that’s very easy to do. I’m all too familiar with that both 1st and 2nd hand. Hard lessons are presented to us over and over and only intensify until we accept them.
When one has been to a few dark places, divorce, loss of a child, Covid, addiction, financial woes, and has a partner to share, and help and provide opinion and direction without reservation, one is more prepared for dark times.
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For the past few days, I have felt nothing but pain.
Not physical pain. Mental pain.
Loneliness, isolation, fear, unrealistic hope, craving, longing.
I allow myself to feel it all. To face it all.
Yesterday the pain was too much. So I decided to focus on exclusively on self-care for a while.
To care for myself as if I’m precious. Because I am precious. And the sooner I learn to embrace that, the sooner I can heal my deep wounds.
Wishing you better days.
Living in the present. Embracing all of it, good and bad. Confronting my shadows. Doing shadow work and diving into depth psychology helps, too.
Many years ago, singer, songwriter, Arlo Guthrie, son of the late, great, Woody Guthrie, smack dab in the middle of a concert he was headlining, stopped the music, paused in a moment of reflection and said, “What good is light without a dark place to stick it in?“ Again, “What good is light without a dark place to stick it in?”
Arlo, I am guessing, would be the first to say that he is no theologian nor noted philosopher, but those words and their concept have stuck with me down through the years which I have put to work both in every day circles of living life and in occasions of the work and tug of ministry as well.
My takeaway has always been to pay attention to darkness because it is one of the best ways to find light, and in my view, spiritual Light. Light, and spiritual Light, is found aplenty in our places of worship and upon land understood and received as sacred. But it’s the dark places, the lowly junkyards, those places less trodden, that have drawn me in and lit my way forward in light and most especially, in spiritual Light.
Thank you for that reflection, Kevin. Thanks too for the Arlo and Woody Guthrie reference.
Turning toward my faith and support from others during dark times. Darkness is part of life, the way thru it is to know it won’t last forever to try to push thru it the best you can and to have hope for better days ahead.
What helps me face the dark rather than turn away from it? I do better and facing the dark since I made the decision that Life is trustworthy and that I will be shown a way. Meditation helps when I am in the throws of anxiety because it helps me stay in the NOW and I’m a firm believer in calling on my ancestors and claiming their strength. I truly believe that there is a part of each and everyone of us that has never been afraid and we can call it forth. A wrote a meditation in 2018 inspired by a quote from Maya Angelou that reminds me that sometimes facing the dark makes me trudge but that’s OK.
Morning Med March 2 2018 It’s Okay to Trudge
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” Maya Angelou
Good Morning, Sometimes we trudge. I had never thought much about that word until the late 1970s when my husband of 18 years was wandering drunk in our barnyard in an alcohol induced blackout. I had just returned from a week long trip. I had tried to run away by visiting a beautiful and compassionate friend but though “you can run.You cannot hide” from reality.
Defeat is a given. We are going to fail many times in our life but I love how Angelou separates the experience of “a defeat” from the experience of “being defeated.” She is saying that “a defeat” should not define you.
On that night long ago, my husband came out of that blackout with his shotgun in his mouth. He was experiencing a “life-threatening defeat” but thankfully, he was not defeated. He found himself running back into the house, heaving his guts and uttering the words, “God help me.”
When he left this earth many years later, he had over 30 years of sobriety. We were no longer married but I have deep admiration for him. He was not defeated by the disease of alcoholism.
Our divorce was not about his alcoholism. It was about a relationship forged in fear that was ended by us both out of love. It was a massive experience of defeat for me. I had come from a broken home and I was determined not to have a broken home. But in retrospect, it was a “coming home” to my self. It was owning my own baggage. Baggage that had very little to do with him.
When we experience a defeat, it’s okay not to be okay. My closest friends will tell you that I almost died the summer of 1995 as I grappled with the reality that the wounds in our relationship could not be healed. To this day whenever someone tells me that they are praying for God’s will, I am transported back to that summer when I learned that God’s will begins with the acceptance of reality. Without that acceptance, wounds owned or heaedl.
I wish I could tell you that I was immediately able to grasp that lesson but it has taken me many years to totally own it, to give thanks for it and to accept that sometimes I trudge.
Blessings, Carol
Blessings to you dear Carol.
Powerful and poignant. Thanks for sharing so honestly, Carol.
Thank you for this, Carol.
I can relate to so much of your sharing.
Getting enough rest. My husband is in rehab for a fall and I have been so worried about him. I have been running back and forth to see him. I took the day off yesterday as others were going to visit him. I rested, ate and read an entire book. It helped me rebalance my energy from worry and fear to hopefulness.
I also wish your husband a speedy recovery Linda.
Wishing your husband a speedy recovery Linda!
I’m okay with the dark. I mean, I would
rather be light and happy and fun all the
time, but I know that’s not how this works.
Sadness, despair, hopelessness, loneliness,
regret, and more are all part of this life.
It’s when I don’t have balance, with love,
joy, pleasure, awe, connection, and
gratitude, that things go sideways.
Keeping these feelings and emotions
nearby, to remind me that they are
still there and are available to me,
makes the darkness less terrifying.
I understand the question as they intended it to be received but I pay a lot of attention to the words we use and I need to engage with it from a different angle.
This question embeds the assumption that the dark is something I would turn away from. Taking darkness literally, I have no reason to turn away from it. Without the night we wouldn’t see the stars. Without darkness my sleep wouldn’t be deep and restful. Everything in the natural world requires periods of darkness as well as light to grow and thrive. The increasing brightness of an electrified world has disrupted natural cycles and migratory patterns. We need the dark!
Taking it metaphorically, I have to point out that the English language embeds darkness as bad, lightness as good, and that carries implicit bias that shapes attitudes toward race. Think of all the phrases, like going to the dark side, the dark arts, heart of darkness. This is a very real effect–research article that illustrates it and links to other research https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-bad-is-black-effect/.
For the reference to difficulty or depression that’s probably intended here, a long time ago I came to recognize that most times the only way out is through, and also that many things I’ve had to deal with lose their sting with time. Whether I face something, ignore it, or wait it out, this too shall pass.
Well-said, Barb. Grateful for these perspectives you offer.
Very true!
Thank you Barb C for pointing out the impact of our language on people lives. Powerful!!!
Justice. Karma. Curiosity.
I have gone through many dark times as most of us here have. I have learned & am still learning to Surrender, to let go, to embrace the dark, to give it up to the Divine. Prayer & meditation have guided me through alot of the difficulties as well as many other things like yoga & walking. Mother Nature too….
After so many ups & downs I know that I am a survivor & this too shall pass.
Happy Beautiful Sunday to All ..😊✨🙏🏻🐰🐰
Meditation and the method of letting go !
There have been so many times when the dark has frightened me. And what I have learned is that I sort of have to let it overtake me, the reality of what is. It seems to be part of the process for me bringing myself to a place where I realize I don’t have to deal with this myself. There is Spirit and there are a few trusted folks who will be helpful if I open up to them.
I am faced with a new physical challenge this a.m. I am not sure how to deal with it. I will have to turn to the light I know and get a solution. It is hard to believe all of this can come at once
Sending healing thoughts and strength.
Yram /sending loving energy
Yram,
🙏🏻🤗🙏🏻🤗✨❤️
Honestly, when I first encounter darkness, my initial reaction is to run away from it. However, I soon realize that escaping it isn’t always possible. So, I must face it. When the thought of facing darkness arises, I start looking for ways to deal with it. For example, a year ago, I discovered that my left eye would go completely blind due to retinal detachment. At the moment I heard this news, I asked the doctor if there was any way to rescue it. As the doctor said there was no way to save it, I learned to accept and enjoy the little vision I had left in my left eye until it was completely gone. Despite the darkness in my left eye, I am grateful for the 10% vision in my right eye, as it allows me to sit here, open the Grateful Living site, and share my thoughts with all of you!
Happy Sunday, everyone!
My Ngoc, every bit of vision makes a big difference. I, at least, get to enjoy your long hair. As far as running away from the dark, that’s very easy to do. I’m all too familiar with that both 1st and 2nd hand. Hard lessons are presented to us over and over and only intensify until we accept them.
When one has been to a few dark places, divorce, loss of a child, Covid, addiction, financial woes, and has a partner to share, and help and provide opinion and direction without reservation, one is more prepared for dark times.
Thank you for sharing John, Having a partner to share the journey of life the ups and the downs is a such a gift.