Reflections

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  1. S
    Suzanne S
    1 week ago

    Embody curiosity, creativity, and intentionality.

    I am thinking about setting a new physical achievement goal. Aging shifts our perception of time; instead of focusing on what’s “running out,” focus on the richness of the present by daily reflections. Focus on cycles instead of linearity to see aging as a deepening, not an ending. Try to reframe aging as a mastery stage. I wrote a few journal questions to explore: What do I know now that I didn’t in my 20s or 30s? How can I use my experience to guide, create, or contribute in ways I couldn’t before? Try to see aging as an invitation to expand who I am. A few journal questions to explore: What aspects of myself haven’t been fully explored yet? Is there a part of me that has been dormant and waiting for this stage? There must still be a rebel in me because I want to challenge stereotypes of aging by doing what I want, not what is expected. I also want to honor aging through embodiment and honor my body instead of resisting the effects of aging. I want to embrace the unfinished because I am a work in progress, and that is beautiful.

    Once, I went on a trip to Uganda, and because of my schedule, I had to meet my friends there. I traveled to the country by myself, and then once in the country, it took two days to get to the city where they were located. Traveling by myself was liberating. It happened again when I traveled to Nepal, where I spent four days alone in Hong Kong. It has been many years since I did this, and I want to do it again. I want to be intentional and create an annual solo getaway to reflect, explore, and realign.

  2. S R
    S R
    1 week ago

    I might honor growing older in a new way by being grateful for all the spectrum of life experiences and be able to practice self compassion, love, and empathy every moment and to share my wisdom experiences to all beings when necessary but to also be open to accept wisdom experiences from all beings.
    A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life. Christopher K.

    1. Mary
      Mary Mantei
      1 week ago

      I appreciate how you express being a teacher and a student as you grow older, S R.🩷

  3. D
    Deann
    1 week ago

    I am really working on staying present – using all my senses in a given moment and appreciating their ability. I can honor growing older by giving myself grace when those senses start to become less sharp. I can give myself grace when I have to walk more than run.

  4. Robin Ann
    Robin Ann
    1 week ago

    I am turning 65 in May! It’s only a number! Two of my lifetime friends and I will plan a FUN mini Gals only trip to celebrate!

    I also do believe that each of us still needs to find a new or continued purpose. My guy friend did reading for the blind for many years after retiring but then they downsized and no longer needed volunteers. Now he signs up for 1 week missions to volunteer for disaster response in the country. Today he told me he was selected as supervisor of one of the groups for sawing of trees. He loves the work and it is all volunteer. The organization flies the volunteers to the location and meals and lodging are provided. He will be s 73 in June.

    1. Mary
      Mary Mantei
      1 week ago

      Robin Ann, your post reminded me of spending time with my Mom the last few years of her life. In her 90’s, having grown a bit dépendant on others for staying in her home healthfully, she would occasionally say to me, “what is my purpose now?”. My reply was always, “That’s a good question, Mom. What do you think your purpose is now?” She always came up with something that she was capable of doing at that point in time. A teacher ‘til the end. She was something special.🩷

      1. Robin Ann
        Robin Ann
        1 week ago

        I love it!

  5. sparrow51014
    sparrow
    1 week ago

    I have just heard from my ex-husband
    that his sister is wasting away,
    and will most likely be gone in a few months.
    She is about 80 years old,
    and apparently
    started slowing down several years ago,
    losing interest in activities of the world,
    and eventually stopped doing anything at all.
    Her life is now confined to her bed,
    unless someone gets her up . . .
    friends have stopped coming to visit,
    and she has no interest in seeing anyone either.
    One of her daughters
    needs to be with her 24 hours a day.
    The ‘joys’ in her life now
    are smoking, drinking and television . . .
    that’s all.

    Ironically,
    this news came with today’s Question,
    and shook me out of a semi-stupor of denial.
    She’s just checking out,
    and it makes me very angry.
    It’s also breaking my heart.
    Does she not realize what a gift her life has been?
    It is with this horrible news whirling about in my head
    that I approach the question . . .
    I think that part of is that this tragedy
    might have been where I could have gone a few years ago
    when I suddenly lost my independence for a time.
    It also reminds me
    that I don’t want to go back to that dark place.
    I have a new appreciation of my life,
    and am refreshing a vow I made
    to hold in high regard
    my battle scars and wrinkles,
    and wear my long, white hair as a badge of honor . . .
    I have weathered many storms,
    and have the strength to weather many more . . .
    there is still enough life in me
    to make the rest of my time here
    worthwhile.
    I will summon up the courage
    to be worthy of every breath I am given,
    and to let go with love
    only when it is time.

    1. Mary
      Mary
      1 week ago

      Hi Sparrow. After rereading the part of your comment
      about your ex sister in law,
      I would like to speak to her situation as I see it.
      Dear Sparrow, I don’t think ex sister in law is just checking out,
      and I don’t think she is just being ungrateful.
      I believe she is suffering from major depression
      and is self medicating with alcohol and cigarettes in an effort to dull her pain.
      Sometimes medication can bring the person back, but not always.
      I know, from dealing with serious mental illness in my parents
      and in both my sisters, that depression is no more a matter of choice
      than is cancer or heart disease.
      It just is, and it is a tragedy for the one who is ill, as it is for the entire family.
      Having dealt with mental illness in my own family
      I wanted to share with you what I have learned.
      With love♥️

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 week ago

        Thank you,
        dear Mary,
        for your kind and thoughtful response.
        Yes,
        the possibility of depression,
        and is probably what is going on,
        and has been for some years now,
        but she does not want to be treated.
        Like you,
        I see depression as a serious mental illness,
        but she stridently has refused help.
        At this point,
        I have no idea what could change her mind.
        She is not suffering from dementia
        as far as I know.
        My heart breaks for her
        as I have fond memories of how she used to be,
        but she has no desire to connect with those days.
        Thanks again,
        for your loving words. ♥

    2. Avril
      Avril
      1 week ago

      You made my heart soar Sparrow

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 week ago

        I’m happy,
        dear Avril,
        that I can make a difference. ♥

    3. Mary
      Mary Mantei
      1 week ago

      There is a fierce energy here that is palpable and strong. You Go Girl!🩷

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 week ago

        Sometimes though,
        dear Mary,
        I have to dig deep. ♥

    4. Mary
      Mary
      1 week ago

      “I have a new appreciation of my life,
      and am refreshing a vow I made
      to hold in high regard
      my battle scars and wrinkles,
      and wear my long white hair as a badge of honor”

      What you have written, Sparrow, feels so encouraging and inspiring to me.
      After struggling quite a bit with this question, your words are just what I needed to hear.
      Thank you so much!
      I see you with your long white hair, so beautiful, and I am grateful for you.
      Mary

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 week ago

        Dear Mary . . .
        you give me too much credit. ♥

    5. Joseph
      Joseph McCann
      1 week ago

      “I will summon up the courage to be worthy of every breath I am given,” sounds like something I decided to do 3 years ago when I began my discovery of life sans booze, dear Sparrow. Thank you for wording it so memorably.

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 week ago

        I have to remind myself of this
        fairly often,
        dear Joseph. ♥

    6. Robin Ann
      Robin Ann
      1 week ago

      I am sure that was difficult to hear. I agree with you 100%

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 week ago

        It was,
        dear Robin Ann,
        and it breaks my heart. ♥

  6. T
    Travis Barksalott
    1 week ago

    I can only pray to I suppose left to my own devices not happening here

  7. Mary
    Mary
    1 week ago

    Youth is celebrated in the US and aging is not.
    I unfortunately have bought into much of this.
    At the same time, I appreciate that living life,
    with its highs and lows has made me wiser, more compassionate
    with others, and more self compassionate.

    I could honor growing older in a new way, by thinking about growing older in a new way.
    Having retired, I have more time to devote to the things that interest me
    and the things that I care about.
    Because of this I am more free than I have ever been.
    I can continue to free myself by trying new things and doing what I value
    or I can be my own jailer and piddle my life away.
    It’s up to me.

    This question has really made me think.
    I very much look forward to reading
    what all of you, my friends, have written.

    1. Yram
      Yram
      1 week ago

      I heard it said to re-tire.

    2. Avril
      Avril
      1 week ago

      I love your comparison of being our own jailer or setting ourselves free.

    3. T
      Travis Barksalott
      1 week ago

      That is nuts because youth is very temporary and unwise

      1. Mary
        Mary
        1 week ago

        So true.

      2. Joseph
        Joseph McCann
        1 week ago

        Old age is just as temporary and at times for some, a time of mental uncertainty.

      3. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 week ago

        In general,
        yes,
        dear Goph/Guau/Travis . . .
        it’s very true. ♥

    4. L
      Loc Tran
      1 week ago

      Mary, you just spoke to my heart. The US is a country of pleasure. Youth are favored. It’s how businesses thrive with more extremes or the rich getting richer.
      I find that over the years that cultivating my own individuality has greatly benefitted me more than merging along with others. I experience true freedom, think for myself, more purposeful, and feel closer to my family.
      It’s much easier for me to adapt to my environment. Going with trends brings fatigue. Like I’ve consistently have mentioned before, I embrace change with a purpose instead of just for the sake of it. I firmly believe that the former feels more authentic and will increase our efficiency. Simply put, anything that’s real is more sustainable.

      1. Mary
        Mary
        1 week ago

        Yes, anything that is real is so much more sustainable!
        It’s hard to hold up a mask for very long.
        That mask gets too heavy.

  8. Carol Ann Conner
    Carol
    1 week ago

    “A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.”Christopher K. Germer
    Today’s quote answers today’s question of how I might honor growing older in a new way. No one has been harder on me than ME. I am going to shoot for a moment of self-compassion each day. My self talk over the years demanded perfection of me which we all know is impossible to attain. So, I lived with maximum tension and deep fear and constantly sought validation. Thankfully, I no longer do that but I still cope with a self bully more than I would like to admit. I will be 83 in June and am probably still here because Life has decided I still have much to learn. I’d like to believe I’m teachable! What I do know is every moment should be savored and every situation accepted as an opportunity. Gratefulness helps me to do my best at that without constantly judging myself. There are so many things, so much growth in self awareness, that I have had to accept. But I do realize that at the time in my life they occurred, I gave it my best shot. I’ve been told that the word “sin” is an archery term that means “to miss the mark.” I’ve missed the mark a lot but thankfully I’ve learned from it. Sometimes, I had to go around the mountain more than once to get the lesson but that’s okay, too. I’m in the Winter of my life but the seed beneath the snow burst a long time ago. As long as I am gifted with the breath of life, my wish is to grow, to care for and share the One Life we all are. As Charlie T often says, “There is no other.” May our species learn to empower Life not control and suppress it. Theophane the Monk says it best!

    Myself from “Tales of a Magic Monastery” by Theophane the Monk page 18

    I sat there in awe as the old monk answered our questions. Though I am usually shy, I felt so comfortable in his presence that I found myself raising my hand. “Father could you tell us something about yourself?”
    He leaned back. “Myself” he mused. There was a long pause.
    “My name…
    used to be…
    Me.
    But now…
    it’s You.”

    1. D
      Drea
      1 week ago

      This is beautiful, thank you Carol.

    2. Yram
      Yram
      1 week ago

      We share the birth month and year!
      Thank you for your insights!

    3. Mary
      Mary
      1 week ago

      I identify strongly with what you wrote
      about yourself from your past, Carol.
      I still want to be perfect,
      I’m fearful, and I seek validation from others.
      Thank you for writing about your struggle with these things.
      It helps me to know others, especially those I admire,
      also have these struggles.
      And thanks so much for the story from Tales of a Magic Monastery.

    4. Joseph
      Joseph McCann
      1 week ago

      Thank you, Dear Carol🌱.

    5. Laura
      Laura
      1 week ago

      Such wisdom, Carol. Thank you.

    6. Avril
      Avril
      1 week ago

      I love you Carol

      1. Carol Ann Conner
        Carol
        1 week ago

        I love you, too, Avril, and feel so blessed that our paths have cross thanks to this wonderful site called Grateful Living and the profound wisdom and dedication of its staff and those of us who are privileged to gather here.

    7. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      1 week ago

      Your writing of self–compassion,
      dear Carol,
      made me think of a little piece of wisdom we could all benefit from:

      “If your compassion does not include yourself,
      it is incomplete.”
      Jack Kornfield
      Buddha’s Little Instruction Book

      1. Carol Ann Conner
        Carol
        1 week ago

        Love that Jack Kornfield quote and also love his book, “A Path with Heart.”

        1. sparrow51014
          sparrow
          1 week ago

          Yes!
          Agreed,
          dear Carol . . .
          he is a beautiful soul. ♥

  9. Charlie T
    Charlie T
    1 week ago

    Hmmm 🤔
    I’m not sure how to answer this one. Maybe that says something in and of itself.
    As I age, I would like to stay in touch with my playful and goofy side and not get hardened.
    At the same time, I would like to be progressing and moving forward and continuing to learn.

    1. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol
      1 week ago

      Amen, dear Charlie.

  10. Jenifer
    Jenifer
    2 weeks ago

    I remember hearing once that getting older is a privilege, many don’t get the chance to do so. That saying has greatly shifted my perspective on what it means to become older. Instead of yearning for the past, I bring myself to the present moment by reminding myself younger Jenifer was so incredibly lost and depressed and scared and hopeless, and although I still that way sometimes, I recognized I have changed so much and how different in terms of being able to navigate these heavy emotions without them consuming like they once did. And for that, i am grateful. 💗

    Have a great Monday y’all 🙂

  11. D
    Drea
    2 weeks ago

    Growing older skillfully seems to demand the shedding of everything that doesn’t work. What remains active is a more authentic, alive version of you. I’ve witnessed loved ones embracing aging in this way, and emerge as elders whose council I seek. I’ve also seen loved ones fight the aging process and fight change, and end up walled in by their own defenses.

    The new way I’ll honor growing old is by openly delighting in things that delight me, no matter whether such expressions are sanctioned or not. I see that as one of the freedoms of growing old–not caring what people think.

    1. Avril
      Avril
      1 week ago

      I love the idea of becoming an elder.

    2. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol
      1 week ago

      Drea, Your sharing is delightful!

      1. D
        Drea
        1 week ago

        Thank you Carol!

    3. c
      Carol Ann
      1 week ago

      thank you, Drea – I’m with you on this: ‘shedding of what doesn’t work’. Sometimes, I think growing older skillfully means paying attention to, and then putting in to practice, the advice you would give a small child if you were trying to help them figure out how to have a better day. Aging, if we are fortunate, seems to give us the opportunity to learn our own needed lessons, and then, when blessed, have the amazing gift of being with other people who can benefit from our learning them.
      thank you, Community. One of my immediate, more ” temporal” needed lessons is “be early for commitments” (ie, “don’t be late!”… ) so gotta scoot, but I wanted to check in here and I am happy ..and grateful!… that I got to! thank you, Community.

      1. D
        Drea
        1 week ago

        Carol Ann, I love this: “paying attention to, and then putting in to practice, the advice you would give a small child if you were trying to help them figure out how to have a better day.” It’s so simple but effective–and true! Thank you.

  12. Yram
    Yram
    2 weeks ago

    My goal is not to congeal and be set in my ways. I want to deal with less so I can be more.
    The word of the day is an appropriate mantra for aging.

    1. Mary
      Mary Mantei
      1 week ago

      Shed what doesn’t work, right Yram? Thank you Drea.🩷

    2. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      1 week ago

      Me too,
      dear Yram,
      me too. ♥

    3. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol
      1 week ago

      YRAM, I wholeheartedly agree!

  13. Mary
    Mary Mantei
    2 weeks ago

    I want to age with grace for sure, and also with some fire! I am not exactly sure what that means, but I feel it in my heart and soul! It’s not a “have-to” or “should”, it just is. Perhaps it is passion, perhaps it is energy that when directed, it is satisfying, perhaps makes a difference for myself and others, growth provoking. Peace to all.

    1. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol
      1 week ago

      Keep that fire burning!

      1. Mary
        Mary Mantei
        1 week ago

        😉You too, Carol.

      2. Avril
        Avril
        1 week ago

        Amen

  14. Patti
    sunnypatti
    2 weeks ago

    I have embraced growing older, as there’s only one other option! I am in good health and am grateful for my practices that help me stay healthy – mind, body & soul. Sometimes I fall into a negative thought regarding where I’m at age-wise, but I’m pretty good at pulling myself back up and my husband will always take the reins if I’m having any trouble. I just try to stay in the now and will make a better effort to not judge any wrinkles I have or any new gray hair that pops up. Those things are just part of the process.

    1. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol
      1 week ago

      So glad you have a supportive mate!

  15. Avril
    Avril
    2 weeks ago

    The picture for the Word of the Day is fantastic! I love how the idea of self-compassion connects with skillful aging. We live in an agist society, especially towards women, and it’s difficult not to fall into the trope of “you look great for your age,” “anti-aging,” or “youth-promoting.” I try to care for my body without subconsciously engaging in self-abuse. I am not a static entity; I change all of the time. In one day, I experience a myriad of thoughts and emotions. I am leaning into change instead of hunkering against it since it is inherent. I am also starting to get more excited about what is to come. I love my husband and am excited to experience the magic of being an older couple. I watched his father and stepmother have a romance that required the wisdom and depth that only comes with maturity. I pray we are able to have our twilight fairytale, too.

    1. Joseph
      Joseph McCann
      1 week ago

      As much Hallmark TV my lovely wife Cheryl has on the set, I am fairly sure she will never have that type of “twilight fairytale” with this fellow. I am romantic in a rustic, unassuming way!

    2. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol
      1 week ago

      Avril, I hope that for you, too. Also, appreciated your note and I am improving health wise.

    3. L
      Lauryn
      1 week ago

      Avril, I was also just thinking about how perfectly the photo for the Word of the Day aligns with the quote….I live how you connected the idea of self compassion with skillful aging. Thank you 🙏

      1. Avril
        Avril
        1 week ago

        Thank you

    4. D
      Drea
      2 weeks ago

      Arvil, this is so insightful: “I try to care for my body without subconsciously engaging in self-abuse.” That’s a habit that begins in girlhood for a lot of women. I think evolving that relationship is one of the gifts of not being young anymore–learning new ways to listen to one’s body and tend to it.

      1. Avril
        Avril
        1 week ago

        I appreciate that.

    5. Mary
      Mary Mantei
      2 weeks ago

      Avril, thank you. You speak for me regarding leaning into this chapter of my life. My life, not someone else’s life. Beautiful day to you. 🩷

      1. Avril
        Avril
        1 week ago

        beautiful day to you too

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