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With deep love and forgiveness for myself and for my dear Mom, let go of regrets, shame, feeling responsible. Be fully in the now. Practice gratefulness.
I don´t know.
I have to remember and ask God to carry me …that I don’t have to solve problems without that help. try to break my problems into bite-sized pieces. I can only live in the day I was given. try to make time to rest and do something fun.
Good question but right now that is impossible. A family member needs me so my load is full. However a light hopefully will be at the end of the tunnel.
By focusing on the important stuff, those things which result from authentic living, being true. It is those things that bring a luminescence to the being.
To lighten my load and life, Tai chi and yoga have taught to let go of that which is not pertinent – not really needed – sometimes said as that which does not serve you. Let go!
In Christianity we are taught to give all back to God. Once you do that – in whichever way makes sense to you – you do feel lighter, freer!!!
And I started carrying an Itty-bitty purse years ago;)
I can ask for help, plan ahead, let go more often practice being present and grateful.
Breaking my wrist 8 weeks ago forced me to stop doing certain things. Some things I really miss and will do again as soon as I’m healed enough (ride my bike! chop a lot of veggies and cook something!). Turns out other things are really unnecessary. A small, funny example: Why did I think it was important to Marie-Kondo-roll my underwear? For what audience am I undertaking this performative act when I’m the only person who opens that drawer? Do I genuinely care or can I put things away neatly enough but without that extra labor? I don’t have to pick up those external ideas or expectations. Similar to what Avril said about not bringing new items home in the first place, I can examine new ideas, new “shoulds”, and ask whether they add value. If it gladdened my heart to look at a super-tidy drawer I could keep doing it, but if I don’t even really notice then this is a self-imposed load. Set it down, walk on.
Mentally right now I have a load I’m working on setting down that has to do with my husband’s prediabetes (Type 2). He’s oriented toward the data, tracks and measures and records, and wants a cure. He’s already super-duper lean and an athlete, very disciplined on food intake (and very tired of not being able to eat everything he wants and dump lots of sugar into his coffee like he used to). He keeps chewing over why they can’t have him do something that results in a cure. His numbers would be the envy of an actual diabetic and I feel as if his desire for a cure keeps him chasing something that simply may not be possible due to genetics. I want him to get some mental peace of mind–but that’s not my load to carry. He shares a lot of his research and frustration over dead ends and it’s probably time for me to establish the boundary that I don’t want to keep revisiting this topic when he just ends up even more frustrated. We’re running a lot of laps around a very short track, to use a different metaphor.
I relate to this post. I know the self-help genre really can help sometimes, but other times it seems like an insidious virus.
Excellent points! Funny thing about the rolled underwear though. I was helping my mother in law one day and opened her drawer of perfectly rolled underwear and I have to admit I was pretty impressed!😉Enough to do it myself ? No, but still impressed.😍 All about what brings you joy right.?
Ha, I’ve already told my daughters I gave up on this so they won’t be surprised.
Thank you for sharing this journey! I agree about getting rid of things that just add one more thing to do but not necessary. I will say that worry is my default! I am working on this issue daily. About the prediabetes issue: It is something I have to deal with every day. It used to be hipoglicemia for me and a doctor told me (When I was 25 years old, I am not 65) that someday it would be diabetes if I did not understand how food affected me. The “crashing” has always been with me if I eat the wrong foods. I so want to lighten this load, It is ever present! I wish your husband much success, he ‘s got this! You got him! Blessings to both of you.
Thank you so much!
By remembering the person, I am today not the person from before, my journey continues on by being kind to myself and others around me.
Thanks to all for your posts today. They are truly a gift and very helpful. I lighten my load by visiting this site each day. The sharing here is so sincere. The vulnerability uplifting. Today your posts have helped me realize that what Eckhart Tolle labels “the pain body” is rearing its head in my head and doing its best to own me. Let it go, let it go. Take each step mindfully.
A wise person *ahem, Carol* posted this awhile back, and I saved it because it gives me a boost every time I recall it:
Be the answer you seek.
Be the prayer you say.
Be the person who is
in Awe of your life.
Laura, I’m chuckling…Bless you…
By living in this moment, and trying not to hold on too tightly. By remembering that control is an illusion and resistance is futile. By forgiving myself and others.
By letting go of all the minds – please Truth let the falseness disappear.
My life is good; no big worries or health problems…or any problems…EXCEPT…sometimes, my choices…since all is good…a glass of wine seems like a fine idea. It is not a fine idea- and now I have come to realize that…So I have made the decision to lighten my load by abstaining, giving up alcohol. I have so very much to be thankful for….and that is now how I am going to live. I know it is one step at a time…but I have done many, many harder things in my life. Today is a good day…as it always is. Thank you all for adding to my life…and making me more thankful each day. Life is good!
Thank you for your kind words yesterday Nannette. Loving kindness to you on your journey.
meditate, contemplate, renounce, trust,make the choice and engage in causes and conditions that give rise to wisdom, concentration, and mindfulness of choices and intentions
Carry one thing at a time.
By living in the present moment and by not living in the past or imagining the future. Being present in the moment, having gratitude for what I have in the here and now lightens any burdens. Right now it’s almost November but the weather is bright and mild enough to have the french doors open wide, it’s a little blowy, perfect for drying the laundry, I’m sitting at my kitchen table with a beautiful mug of coffee and fresh flowers on the table. The fly in my ointment, vertigo, so I’m keeping very still at the moment. Worries fading into the background by being grateful for today, the sun, the warmth, the wind, the coffee, the flowers, and for being able to sit very still without the room going spinny!
Oh, I get vertigo too. I hear you about not having the room go spinny! So sorry you experience that.
Iamme, I’m so sorry you’re suffering with vertigo. I also have had periods of this throughout my life. At some point, reflecting back, I noticed that it usually followed periods of uncertainty and feeling out of control. It helps me to remember that it will pass and to distract myself from thinking about it.
Hope you feel better soon.
Thank you. I’ve been wondering if it’s stress related, I’ve been through a period of high anxiety but it’s now passed and I’m left with this. I do get it occasionally, it does seem to go after a few days so I’m hoping this bout will too.
lamme, Thank you. I needed your words today.
It’s all about the small stuff, the tiny flecks of glittery joy in the simple things in life isn’t it. There’s gold in them there hills if you stop and focus on what’s right in front of you. <3 And even when I am up against things which seem to have no resolution or solution instead of becoming frazzled and upset about not being able to fix the issue, I ask myself if there's something I can learn from it, whether it be acceptance for what is, or learning a different way of dealing with things when they arise in the future. I hope you are ok Carol. Ax
lamme, thanks for your wisdom and concern…I’m OK just feeling quite challenged and doing my best to roll with the punches!
Maintain my boundaries. I’ve gotten better at it overall, but still have problems at work. I can also go thru my closet and donate the clothing that hasn’t been worn over the past year.
And then there are the daily things I do to try and keep my life light – meditation, yoga, gratitude practice, and spending time with my husband and our furry kids.
Free my heart from hatred. Free my mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less and enjoy every moment.
Love it – thank you EJP !
Of course, my daily practice of meditation, reflection, etc. But, decluttering has become a practice, too. I’ve been working on this the last 2 years. ’m reaching a place where I’m mindfully questioning everything I bring home. The best way to declutter is to be present with what you’re consuming. I’d rather save my money and buy something high-quality, ethically-sourced, locally-made, and sustainable than cheap things that pile. I’m embracing “less is more.” It is a challenging process in this consumer driven lifestyle–especially with children.
I’m with you on the decluttering. I’ve a way to go after 25 years of raising children. There’s a lot that needs gone. It clutters my mind as well as my house. It’s been quite difficult to redistribute things since lockdown. Many started decluttering while stuck at home but the charity shops were closed and the recycling collection points closed too. Even now the charity shops are limiting what they can take as they have been drowning in the effects of lockdown decluttering. With regards to buying, I buy very little now. Our most recent purchase was deliberated on for a couple of weeks. The microwave which was an elderly hand me down finally broke, I wanted to get a second hand one, my husband didn’t on the grounds of safety, which is a good point. Then we wondered if we really did need one. But with rising fuel costs it makes sense, especially when reheating leftovers. We repair lots of things, I run a monthly repair cafe to encourage others to do the same. And yes I go for ethical, quality, local handmade, secondhand etc where possible. Less is definitely more!
Our microwaves heating element blew months ago. We have been waiting for management to replace it. That has been a slow process. Now we are questioning if we really need it. It amazes me that we have adapted well.
It’s the small stuff for us – reheating leftovers, especially if it’s some kind of bake like lasagne, switching on the oven seems very wasteful. I think with the current economic climate and fuel crisis it will help to save on energy. But I’m a traditionalist, I’d never cook something from scratch in a microwave, I love cooking on a stove. It’s very cosy standing by the cooker stirring a pot on a winter’s day, not quite the same with a box that goes ping!
Age has lightened my load. I retired from 27.5 years of ditch riding 8 years ago. It takes me a bit longer to accomplish tasks that need to done on our small forage farm. This is the first year I turned down some fencing jobs and the only outside work I did was some custom hay baling. For my mental load a daily practice of reflection. meditation, 20 minute mindful yoga, a few pushups, continued therapy(3 times a month), living in the present and gratitude. All of this has helped to lighten my life, especially the daily practice
Isn’t it interesting how “picking up” a daily practice helps us “lighten” our load.
It helps to stay grounded in the present and try to experience life in short intervals: moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. This helps relieve my self-inflicted emotional overloads of futile worry and anxiety.
My mother had a magnet on her refrigerator that I often think of: Yard by yard life is hard. Inch by inch it’s a cinch.
Laura, “Yard by yard life is hard. Inch my inch it’s a cinch.” What a simply profound statement. It could not come at a better time for me. Thanks!
You are most welcome, Carol. I hope you’re able to tend to your well being as you work through your current challenges.
Live n the present rather than in thenpast or future
Self love and care. Meditations, ASMR, treat to a massage and pedi. These all help to de-stress:)
Now that’s a loaded question! 😊
Actually, I’m working on it. I just ordered a smaller utility bag that I bring with me when I go rowing so that I’m not carrying around so much stuff. I’ve whittling down 40 years of keepsakes that I’ve collected during my working years from around 15 tubs to 5. This winter, I hope to reduce them further…which is very challenging for me. Back pain has forced me to lighten my life in many ways already, so that happened on its own. Now I need to loose the twenty pounds I packed on during the pandemic!
Decluttering is a constant work in progress.
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