By listening, by being generous, by spending quality time, and by being loyal.
I sometimes make notes as well after a deep conversation.
Still, I feel I can improve a lot! I can better organize notes.
I know it’s a bit unconventional to strive to have a stasi file on everyone, but I feel that would be nice!
Like, I think to be true to my inner child, I would like to add people to a physical friendship book and especially remember their birth dates but also lots of smaller things.
Also I love giving.
the main thing to improve upon is to be less tired and more present. and get a friendship book, i should do so today!
and i can give more hugs, say more supportive and kind things..
That is quite an interesting idea, to have a friendship book, Chung Van Gog! In my faith community, I sometimes jot down notes in a little personal book I have after meeting new visitors and that helps me to remember more about them the next time I meet them if they come back. I wish you the best with your friendship book project, and I can also identify with being “less tired and more present”
I am posting late today– it was a hectic morning. Lately, I’ve been trying to be better about how I show those in my life how valuable they are. My husband really pushes me to be better about communication and connection. I appreciate how committed he is to helping our daughters be the best they can. I show him I value him by carving out time for regular check-ins and date nights. When we skip those, we can notice our children and work, and we lose sight of what made us fall in love.
My sweetie and I have a date most weeks. We often walk to our downtown holding hands and walking along the inlet so we can watch for birds and seals. It’s around 2.5 miles and we go out for coffee or brunch, maybe sit by the water a while and watch the sailboats. We might go to the farmers’ market or run into the hardware store or bookstore. Then we bus home. Very lowkey, very delightful.
My mother
taught me to think of the other person first,
to put myself in their shoes
and imagine what life would look like through their eyes . . .
give the other person
the bigger bowl of ice cream,
let the other person first in line.
Let them have the last party favor.
I knew a girl about my age
(ten years old)
who had serious back problems . . .
I was too young to know what the problem was,
but she was frequently in a wheelchair,
and in the hospital for extensive surgeries.
She missed time in school,
time socializing with other children . . .
time being a kid.
Her name was Caroline.
She lived in a world of doctors and hospitals,
pills and IV’s,
braces and beds,
while I had two good legs
that could carry me
pretty much
everywhere I wanted to go.
Caroline,
if she lived,
would never have that kind of freedom.
While visiting her one day,
I showed her one of those little toys,
where,
if you pressed on the bottom of it,
the objects on top
moved around,
held by strings inside of them.
I think we called them ‘push puppets’.
Mine had a little musical band of three men . . .
one on cymbals, one on saxophone,
and one on fiddle.
I loved that toy,
evidenced by the fact that I carried around with me
everywhere.
I could see
that Caroline was enchanted
and I began to be sorry I had showed it to her,
which started me on a battle within my self.
I had had no intention of giving the toy to her
and yet something called out to me to do just that.
I looked at her
propped up with pillows on her bed
and knew I had to gift her with it . . .
but it was with great sorrow
that my hand reached out
and put it into her hand.
It took me a long time
to realize that I was a better person
for having given her a little joy.
My family moved away some time after that,
but I’ve always kept that lesson in my heart
and the incident comes to mind
when I consider a sacrifice I might make,
no matter how big or how small
that might be a kindness to another human being.
It’s not perfect,
but it’s a principle that has served me well.
I feel terrible
when I don’t offer myself.
When I give people my time, when I listen to what they have to say without judgement, when I call just to say I’m thinking of them. I think of the song, “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand. Make this world a better place if you can. ” There is nothing more real than a relationship.”
I probably could be a lot better at this. But when I am listening fully, being fully present with them, that is a way I show them that I value them. Or when I express gratitude to someone in specific words related to an attribute of theirs that I am grateful for or a specific way that they have helped me.
Listening deeply, reply to someone in need if required, sometimes when absorbed in own necessities to care for it might be with a bit of delay but usually being there then fully; by expressing it through words, a phone call, sending love and light nonverbally also especially when unable to attend or being present; sometimes when it would be a given moment through singing in the awareness of their being so precious and lovable, or cooking with love, offer small presents when something comes to my mind which could give them joy, like recently, placing a peony rose blossom swimming in a bowl for welcoming dear friends and in the same time expressing my joy for their being back home after several months.
Ose, I really appreciated that you included “sometimes when absorbed in own necessities to care for it might be with a bit of delay”. There seems to be a balance in showing others that we care for them but also not losing our own self-care. I have been taking the “Anatomy of Gratefulness” class that is going on right now, and one thing they talk about is responsiveness instead of reactivity.
I also love the mindfulness and love that shine through this statement of yours: “offer small presents when something comes to my mind which could give them joy, like recently, placing a peony rose blossom swimming in a bowl for welcoming dear friends and in the same time expressing my joy for their being back home after several months.”
My Ngoc, that goes a long ways. I know you have a lot of homework for the end of the semester featuring a couple presentations. It’s also great seeing you stopping on by here.
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By listening, by being generous, by spending quality time, and by being loyal.
I sometimes make notes as well after a deep conversation.
Still, I feel I can improve a lot! I can better organize notes.
I know it’s a bit unconventional to strive to have a stasi file on everyone, but I feel that would be nice!
Like, I think to be true to my inner child, I would like to add people to a physical friendship book and especially remember their birth dates but also lots of smaller things.
Also I love giving.
the main thing to improve upon is to be less tired and more present. and get a friendship book, i should do so today!
and i can give more hugs, say more supportive and kind things..
That is quite an interesting idea, to have a friendship book, Chung Van Gog! In my faith community, I sometimes jot down notes in a little personal book I have after meeting new visitors and that helps me to remember more about them the next time I meet them if they come back. I wish you the best with your friendship book project, and I can also identify with being “less tired and more present”
I am posting late today– it was a hectic morning. Lately, I’ve been trying to be better about how I show those in my life how valuable they are. My husband really pushes me to be better about communication and connection. I appreciate how committed he is to helping our daughters be the best they can. I show him I value him by carving out time for regular check-ins and date nights. When we skip those, we can notice our children and work, and we lose sight of what made us fall in love.
Ngoc and I make quality time for each other when we can. Her end is busier. She certainly does her best to make time for me.
Me and Cheryl do our best to have a date day each week. generally, Saturdays. It helps that we mostly enjoy each other’s company!
My sweetie and I have a date most weeks. We often walk to our downtown holding hands and walking along the inlet so we can watch for birds and seals. It’s around 2.5 miles and we go out for coffee or brunch, maybe sit by the water a while and watch the sailboats. We might go to the farmers’ market or run into the hardware store or bookstore. Then we bus home. Very lowkey, very delightful.
By listening and being supportive in their needs.
My mother
taught me to think of the other person first,
to put myself in their shoes
and imagine what life would look like through their eyes . . .
give the other person
the bigger bowl of ice cream,
let the other person first in line.
Let them have the last party favor.
I knew a girl about my age
(ten years old)
who had serious back problems . . .
I was too young to know what the problem was,
but she was frequently in a wheelchair,
and in the hospital for extensive surgeries.
She missed time in school,
time socializing with other children . . .
time being a kid.
Her name was Caroline.
She lived in a world of doctors and hospitals,
pills and IV’s,
braces and beds,
while I had two good legs
that could carry me
pretty much
everywhere I wanted to go.
Caroline,
if she lived,
would never have that kind of freedom.
While visiting her one day,
I showed her one of those little toys,
where,
if you pressed on the bottom of it,
the objects on top
moved around,
held by strings inside of them.
I think we called them ‘push puppets’.
Mine had a little musical band of three men . . .
one on cymbals, one on saxophone,
and one on fiddle.
I loved that toy,
evidenced by the fact that I carried around with me
everywhere.
I could see
that Caroline was enchanted
and I began to be sorry I had showed it to her,
which started me on a battle within my self.
I had had no intention of giving the toy to her
and yet something called out to me to do just that.
I looked at her
propped up with pillows on her bed
and knew I had to gift her with it . . .
but it was with great sorrow
that my hand reached out
and put it into her hand.
It took me a long time
to realize that I was a better person
for having given her a little joy.
My family moved away some time after that,
but I’ve always kept that lesson in my heart
and the incident comes to mind
when I consider a sacrifice I might make,
no matter how big or how small
that might be a kindness to another human being.
It’s not perfect,
but it’s a principle that has served me well.
I feel terrible
when I don’t offer myself.
I have a hunch, dear Sparrow, that Caroline kept that gift in her heart.
If she did
it would mean the world to me,
dear Joseph . . . 🙂
I reach out to them.
I Send them a note in the mail or a text, asking after them.
I listen & let them talk.
I offer my love & support.
🕊️🩵
When I give people my time, when I listen to what they have to say without judgement, when I call just to say I’m thinking of them. I think of the song, “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand. Make this world a better place if you can. ” There is nothing more real than a relationship.”
I probably could be a lot better at this. But when I am listening fully, being fully present with them, that is a way I show them that I value them. Or when I express gratitude to someone in specific words related to an attribute of theirs that I am grateful for or a specific way that they have helped me.
Intent listening. Showing up!
I show them kindness, tolerance and accpetance
We need more of that in the world,
dear Antonia . . . ♥
Listening deeply, reply to someone in need if required, sometimes when absorbed in own necessities to care for it might be with a bit of delay but usually being there then fully; by expressing it through words, a phone call, sending love and light nonverbally also especially when unable to attend or being present; sometimes when it would be a given moment through singing in the awareness of their being so precious and lovable, or cooking with love, offer small presents when something comes to my mind which could give them joy, like recently, placing a peony rose blossom swimming in a bowl for welcoming dear friends and in the same time expressing my joy for their being back home after several months.
Everything counts,
dear Ose . . . ♥
Ose, I really appreciated that you included “sometimes when absorbed in own necessities to care for it might be with a bit of delay”. There seems to be a balance in showing others that we care for them but also not losing our own self-care. I have been taking the “Anatomy of Gratefulness” class that is going on right now, and one thing they talk about is responsiveness instead of reactivity.
I also love the mindfulness and love that shine through this statement of yours: “offer small presents when something comes to my mind which could give them joy, like recently, placing a peony rose blossom swimming in a bowl for welcoming dear friends and in the same time expressing my joy for their being back home after several months.”
I agree, Ose. We live in a culture where productivity is valued over well-being which can lead to many people feeling ghosted.
Just say yes to them when they ask for help. 😍
My Ngoc, that goes a long ways. I know you have a lot of homework for the end of the semester featuring a couple presentations. It’s also great seeing you stopping on by here.
I think it starts with a smile!
Quality time
Compassion, kindness, non judgement. May all encounter peace, love and value in the gift of this day. Namaste.
Compassion
goes a long way,
dear Joseph . . . ♥
I show people that I value them by actively listening, being present, showing I care, verbalizing my love for them.