Happy New Year all. I look forward to practicing more grateful living in 2025. Starting the new year with Mass this morning, time with my son and a nice walk near the water in Wickford, RI which is one of my favorite little towns.
I was listening to a podcast yesterday and it said to use this strategy – pretend this was the last time that you would see someone, what would you miss about them? As morbid as this technique is – it helped me feel so grateful for other people in my life that I am taking for granted right now. I initially did the exercise with my husband – and saw so many things that I love and am grateful for…. so, I then moved on and did it with many of the people in my life. This helped me to see them in a very different light and I hope to take this viewpoint into the new year. Happy New Year everyone! Thank you to this website for continuing to help me use gratitude as a way to live.
As so often happens, this reminds me of a poem that turns this around–what if you’re the last person someone else encounters?
“If You Knew”
Ellen Bass
What if you knew you’d be the last
to touch someone?
If you were taking tickets, for example,
at the theater, tearing them,
giving back the ragged stubs,
you might take care to touch that palm,
brush your fingertips
along the life line’s crease.
When a man pulls his wheeled suitcase
too slowly through the airport, when
the car in front of me doesn’t signal,
when the clerk at the pharmacy
won’t say Thank you, I don’t remember
they’re going to die.
A friend told me she’d been with her aunt.
They’d just had lunch and the waiter,
a young gay man with plum black eyes,
joked as he served the coffee, kissed
her aunt’s powdered cheek when they left.
Then they walked a half a block and her aunt
dropped dead on the sidewalk.
How close does the dragon’s spume
have to come? How wide does the crack
in heaven have to split?
What would people look like
if we could see them as they are,
soaked in honey, stung and swollen,
reckless, pinned against time?
How might gratefulness guide the ways I move into the year ahead?
I am choosing to live in the present moment,
noticing what is all around me and getting out of my head.
That means experiencing my life through my senses
and looking for that which makes me feel joyful and grateful.
I want to lead with curiosity as I choose activities that I will engage in.
I also want to become more independent
doing the things I would like to do
whether or not my husband is interested in doing them with me.
Lastly, through gratefulness and the luxury of rest,
I would like to find the energy and motivation to stay active.
Present,
Sensory,
Seeking joy,
Seeking to be grateful
Curious,
Independent
Well rested,
Active.
This is a long list.
But I have tried to live my life with these for many years.
Sending love to all today and throughout this new year.
♥️
If I stop and remember to be grateful for what I have, which is really all I need, then I can keep tabs on what is really important in my life and leave all the drama and unnecessary things in my wake. Happy New Year, everyone!
I end each month by reviewing journal entries and writing a list of some of the notable things that happened. I start each year by looking back at my journals for the year and reflecting on some of the big moments. Since I’ll be doing those two things today for December and for 2024, it occurs to me that if I reread specifically looking for things I’m grateful for I’ll set the tone for the days ahead and can continue to do that with each month’s review.
For several months I captured a list of “today’s delights” in my journal, inspired by Ross Gay’s Book of Delights. I now have his Book of More Delights to read. I don’t quite know why I stopped doing that and I’ve been restarting that habit. When I’m on the lookout for those delights I always find them. In a similar vein if I end each day’s journal entry with three things I’m grateful for, I’ll be on the lookout for gratefulness throughout the day and I’ll find it as I reflect. That’s a lot of journaling but I already have that daily habit so I’ll be building on it.
This reminded me of the poem “Three Gratitudes” by Carrie Newcomer. It’s about listing things you’re grateful for at the end of the day as you’re falling asleep. A wonderful poem. https://onbeing.org/poetry/three-gratitudes/
I love that wording, Barb — “today’s delights”. I also appreciated the Carrie Newcomer poem you shared. I have an extra “monthly planner” calendar that I received in the mail from a nonprofit– perhaps I will experiment with writing “today’s delights” in the box on the calendar for the day (a pretty small box, so I will have to stay succinct 🙂
Had to come back to share this post I ran across by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, which includes a graphic to prompt thoughts of gratitude: https://www.lifeisasacredtext.com/gratitudes/. In it she shares this quote from another rabbi that fits with my plan for my journal:
“Sometimes we offer words of gratitude because we are already feeling grateful. And sometimes we come to feel grateful because we are offering words of gratitude…and the more frequently we carve those channels, the more easily our spirits flow in those directions.”
–Rabbi Rachel Barenblat
By reminding me that the greatest gift I can give myself and others is full Presence in this moment. And then making an effort with the Stop.Look.Go practice to frequently Stop and notice if my Presence is where it can be of most use, and whether my attention is fully unified.
In this moment:
Is my Presence to be fully taking in the painful news of the world, and then thinking about how I want to engage with it?
Is my Presence to be fully absorbed with answering today’s grateful.org question?
Is my Presence to be fully engaged in caregiving or other work around the house, performing it (in the words of Swami Ramdas) “as perfectly as possible, with great care and love?”
Can I give Presence to myself and the emotions I am feeling/sensations I am feeling in my body?
Can I be nourished by my Presence taking in fully what is available with my 5 senses, feeling appreciation and surprise for what is before me?
Can I give my Presence fully to another, looking at their body language and listening fully?
If I am interrupted in what I am doing (which I frequently am, as a caregiver), can I drop it gracefully and switch my Presence to a different focus?
If my mind wants to interrupt what I am currently doing out of an impulsive whim, can I let go of the impulse and bring my full Presence back to what I am doing?
Gratefulness will continue to be my companion, my practice, my tonic for helping me exist in this world, where it’s easy to be consumed by all of the injustice, the trauma, and the inhumanity.
Gratefulness might guide the ways I move into the year ahead by giving me opportunities to focus on the qualities and gifts I have been gifted by my creator and through all beings present and ones that have departed from the earth by living one moment at a time. Gratefulness might guide me to be curious, be aware of my internal and external environment by relearning to use my senses, be mindful of my time, to continue to learn to see the flickering light when I experience challenges ….
Gratefulness provides an overall more joyful experience of life, and, with practice, it guides me every day. I’m grateful to be here this morning. The sun is shining bright. The dogs are staring at me thru the porch door, ready to come back inside. My husband is off today and woke me up with a cheerful, “Happy New Year!” Later, I’ll make the traditional Southern good luck meal of Hoppin’ John, collard greens, ham and cornbread, and we will share this meal, happy to be alive. The year ahead holds so many possibilities, and with gratitude, I look forward to whatever unfolds.
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In all the right ways. It really has been made clear to me by more than a couple people that for something like me ingratitude is a killer.
As a daily moment to wind down and reflect.
As a daily companion.
Happy New Year all. I look forward to practicing more grateful living in 2025. Starting the new year with Mass this morning, time with my son and a nice walk near the water in Wickford, RI which is one of my favorite little towns.
So many wise and beautiful comments and quotes today . . .
I am quite blown away.
Thank you all
for the gift of your presence
with love . . .♥
My life is better with an “attitude of gratitude.”
Happy New Year to All…🥳
May your 2025 be healthy, happy & harmonious.
Peace & Love. 🕊️❤️✨🙏🏻✨❤️🕊️
I was listening to a podcast yesterday and it said to use this strategy – pretend this was the last time that you would see someone, what would you miss about them? As morbid as this technique is – it helped me feel so grateful for other people in my life that I am taking for granted right now. I initially did the exercise with my husband – and saw so many things that I love and am grateful for…. so, I then moved on and did it with many of the people in my life. This helped me to see them in a very different light and I hope to take this viewpoint into the new year. Happy New Year everyone! Thank you to this website for continuing to help me use gratitude as a way to live.
Thank you, Marnie. Such a tender, beautiful practice.
Thank you, Marnie.
I will use this technique.
It sounds valuable.
As so often happens, this reminds me of a poem that turns this around–what if you’re the last person someone else encounters?
“If You Knew”
Ellen Bass
What if you knew you’d be the last
to touch someone?
If you were taking tickets, for example,
at the theater, tearing them,
giving back the ragged stubs,
you might take care to touch that palm,
brush your fingertips
along the life line’s crease.
When a man pulls his wheeled suitcase
too slowly through the airport, when
the car in front of me doesn’t signal,
when the clerk at the pharmacy
won’t say Thank you, I don’t remember
they’re going to die.
A friend told me she’d been with her aunt.
They’d just had lunch and the waiter,
a young gay man with plum black eyes,
joked as he served the coffee, kissed
her aunt’s powdered cheek when they left.
Then they walked a half a block and her aunt
dropped dead on the sidewalk.
How close does the dragon’s spume
have to come? How wide does the crack
in heaven have to split?
What would people look like
if we could see them as they are,
soaked in honey, stung and swollen,
reckless, pinned against time?
https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2013/05/ellen-bass-if-you-knew.html
Thank you, Barb. ❤️
This poem makes me think about others
in a way I haven’t thought of them before.
This is so beautiful. Thank you Barb.
Thanks Barb
. . . an incredibly powerful poem,
dear Barb . . .♥
I agree with you Sparrow, very powerful.
How might gratefulness guide the ways I move into the year ahead?
I am choosing to live in the present moment,
noticing what is all around me and getting out of my head.
That means experiencing my life through my senses
and looking for that which makes me feel joyful and grateful.
I want to lead with curiosity as I choose activities that I will engage in.
I also want to become more independent
doing the things I would like to do
whether or not my husband is interested in doing them with me.
Lastly, through gratefulness and the luxury of rest,
I would like to find the energy and motivation to stay active.
Present,
Sensory,
Seeking joy,
Seeking to be grateful
Curious,
Independent
Well rested,
Active.
This is a long list.
But I have tried to live my life with these for many years.
Sending love to all today and throughout this new year.
♥️
Reading this
was the perfect way
to begin this day . . . ♥
https://mailchi.mp/themarginalian/blessings?e=faf97da09c
sparrow thanks for the link
Very lovely! “We still have each other.”
If I stop and remember to be grateful for what I have, which is really all I need, then I can keep tabs on what is really important in my life and leave all the drama and unnecessary things in my wake. Happy New Year, everyone!
I end each month by reviewing journal entries and writing a list of some of the notable things that happened. I start each year by looking back at my journals for the year and reflecting on some of the big moments. Since I’ll be doing those two things today for December and for 2024, it occurs to me that if I reread specifically looking for things I’m grateful for I’ll set the tone for the days ahead and can continue to do that with each month’s review.
For several months I captured a list of “today’s delights” in my journal, inspired by Ross Gay’s Book of Delights. I now have his Book of More Delights to read. I don’t quite know why I stopped doing that and I’ve been restarting that habit. When I’m on the lookout for those delights I always find them. In a similar vein if I end each day’s journal entry with three things I’m grateful for, I’ll be on the lookout for gratefulness throughout the day and I’ll find it as I reflect. That’s a lot of journaling but I already have that daily habit so I’ll be building on it.
This reminded me of the poem “Three Gratitudes” by Carrie Newcomer. It’s about listing things you’re grateful for at the end of the day as you’re falling asleep. A wonderful poem. https://onbeing.org/poetry/three-gratitudes/
I love that wording, Barb — “today’s delights”. I also appreciated the Carrie Newcomer poem you shared. I have an extra “monthly planner” calendar that I received in the mail from a nonprofit– perhaps I will experiment with writing “today’s delights” in the box on the calendar for the day (a pretty small box, so I will have to stay succinct 🙂
Had to come back to share this post I ran across by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, which includes a graphic to prompt thoughts of gratitude: https://www.lifeisasacredtext.com/gratitudes/. In it she shares this quote from another rabbi that fits with my plan for my journal:
“Sometimes we offer words of gratitude because we are already feeling grateful. And sometimes we come to feel grateful because we are offering words of gratitude…and the more frequently we carve those channels, the more easily our spirits flow in those directions.”
–Rabbi Rachel Barenblat
By reminding me that the greatest gift I can give myself and others is full Presence in this moment. And then making an effort with the Stop.Look.Go practice to frequently Stop and notice if my Presence is where it can be of most use, and whether my attention is fully unified.
In this moment:
Is my Presence to be fully taking in the painful news of the world, and then thinking about how I want to engage with it?
Is my Presence to be fully absorbed with answering today’s grateful.org question?
Is my Presence to be fully engaged in caregiving or other work around the house, performing it (in the words of Swami Ramdas) “as perfectly as possible, with great care and love?”
Can I give Presence to myself and the emotions I am feeling/sensations I am feeling in my body?
Can I be nourished by my Presence taking in fully what is available with my 5 senses, feeling appreciation and surprise for what is before me?
Can I give my Presence fully to another, looking at their body language and listening fully?
If I am interrupted in what I am doing (which I frequently am, as a caregiver), can I drop it gracefully and switch my Presence to a different focus?
If my mind wants to interrupt what I am currently doing out of an impulsive whim, can I let go of the impulse and bring my full Presence back to what I am doing?
Gratefulness will continue to be my companion, my practice, my tonic for helping me exist in this world, where it’s easy to be consumed by all of the injustice, the trauma, and the inhumanity.
Gratefulness might guide the ways I move into the year ahead by giving me opportunities to focus on the qualities and gifts I have been gifted by my creator and through all beings present and ones that have departed from the earth by living one moment at a time. Gratefulness might guide me to be curious, be aware of my internal and external environment by relearning to use my senses, be mindful of my time, to continue to learn to see the flickering light when I experience challenges ….
Gratefulness provides an overall more joyful experience of life, and, with practice, it guides me every day. I’m grateful to be here this morning. The sun is shining bright. The dogs are staring at me thru the porch door, ready to come back inside. My husband is off today and woke me up with a cheerful, “Happy New Year!” Later, I’ll make the traditional Southern good luck meal of Hoppin’ John, collard greens, ham and cornbread, and we will share this meal, happy to be alive. The year ahead holds so many possibilities, and with gratitude, I look forward to whatever unfolds.