Last night I stayed at the new house to watch my son’s 2 dogs overnight. Stanley my favorite never left my side.
My son and his fiance decided not to stay over night so I ended up sleeping on the couch. It was so adorable that
Stanley still wanted to stay by my side even though they came home. I also helped around the house the best I could while being
there. Life is busy and hectic and it felt good to help out.
I am trying not to feel sorrow lately but rather hope when I think about my daughter. She seems to be proactive in her sobriety, going to meetings without being told and finding a sponsor recently.
I also realize like is very short and my friend and planning a trip maybe in the Fall to Scotland. I am grateful for my health and one of my passions in life has always been travel so I hope to do a trip soon that will be affordable.
It has been difficult lately to answer the questions. Today is not any different. My heart is full of sorrows when I look at the world. My heart is also full of gratefulness when I look at the world. And somehow the gratefulness does not tend to my sorrows. They are independent of each other and unified in my heart. Maybe like a a yin and yang kind of thing.
When things have gone wrong or things have been extremely difficult in my life, I focus on the present and count my blessings. It’s never easy to focus on good things when things in my life are rough and feels like everything is falling apart. I have realized by focusing on the present and listing them down all the things I have, the things I am experiencing in that present moment even down to the most mundane object like a pen on top of my table makes me realize that it is not that bad at all. There are other things going on with my life that are good and made me realize that these sorrows that I am experiencing are temporary, might take some time to move on and I am not going to force myself to say it’s okay when it’s not but realizing that there are other aspects of my life at present that are okay and that to me is an opportunity to put my energy in.
I have been reaching into gratitude all week after the loss of my 9-year companion, BC. The one who was a “black cat” on the street became the Best Cat after I took him in. He went thru so much with me, supporting me thru my divorce, 4 moves, becoming an indoor cat, gaining a doggie brother and a human dad whom he loved very much. He was probably 19 or 20, so he lived a long life. I’m so grateful I got to give him the best life I could, and am also grateful for the many memories including one if my favorites, searching for him in a tropical storm. He was quite a rascal when we first met, but he loved me and I absolutely loved him. Our home is not the same, and Ruger has been sad, too, wondering where his brother is. But I know bodies don’t last forever yet spirit and energy do. There is great sorrow in my heart right now, but what a blessing to have a love that made saying goodbye so hard. I’m grateful I got to be his mom 🐈⬛ 💚
SunnyPatti, I am so very sorry for your loss. BC sounds like he was a great fellow….and so loved and had so much love he gave you. Losing our companions is so difficult…and there is a hold left in our hearts for some time. Give yourself the time you need to grieve and also time to rejoice your beloved BC. I too, lost my cat- who was 20…and I had him as my best friend for those 20 years. There will never be another Tom…but how Blessed I was to be his Mom. Bless you, SunnyPatti and may your heart find some joy today in your memories of BC.
Dear Sunnypatti, I am so sorry to hear that your beloved BC has passed. We too have a 20 year-old cat who still pretty much runs the house. Losing pets is so darn hard. Take care.
I feel the sorrows can only reside in the heart if self is my focus (compared to others). But I have discovered, focusing on Life itself brings a joyous gratitude for every moment of that experience. So, in that sense, I am not sure gratefulness actually tends anything. It is something that results from where the focus lays.
When gratefulness is in me, it usually just overtakes the fears and puts them in a different light. Most of the time, fear calms down then, often even dissolves and acceptance can then show itself, simply accepting what and how something is right now, while in the same time, warmth and joy unfold inside, radiating out immediately.
Like my other practices, it helps balance
my emotions. I still have fear, regret,
pain, anxiety, and other “negative”
emotions, but now I also have gratitude,
Positivity, hope, calm, and other
“Positive” emotions. This has improved
my life and made it more vital.
It puts a focus on appreciating what I have more than what I don’t have. It helps me accept “what is” and roll with the punches. It even helps me bear not only what I have lost but also helps me maintain a positive attitude when in physical pain or discomfort.
This question and the replies made me think of a song. Perhaps you will recognize it. Here are the lyrics
Lean On Me
Bill Withers
Hmm… hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on…
For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill
Those of your needs that you won’t let show
You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on…
For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on
You just call on me brother
When you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me
Call me
If you need a friend
(Call me)
Call me (call me)
If you need a friend
(Call me)
If you ever need a friend
(Call me)
Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me)
If you need a friend
(Call me)
Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me)
Songwriters: Bill Withers. For non-commercial use only.
Data From: Musixmatch
I am recently aware of the sober frailty of life. My friend, Bob, has received a diagnosis of liver cancer. He is a loner and not connected to many people
So is comforting to know that I am able to talk to a mutual friend of us both , and together we can plan how to support Bob. Very grateful for this mutual friend and his steady commitment to Bob. It makes the sadness bearable to know we are here for each other.
I suppose it is how we interpret the phrase sorrows in my heart. I always have some but gratefulness helps me not let them take over everything or put out the light that is also there.
Even when I am feeling contented and happy as I am at the moment, there is in me an ongoing deep sorrow and sadness when I hear about the diminishing animal, insect and bird life on our planet. And a sense of gratitude and love for how the natural world nurtures us all at a profound level.
Gratefulness tends to the sorrows I carry in my heart by being grateful for many things … I remember in Kristi Nelson’s book ‘I get to’ instead of ‘I have to’- very powerful. The sorrows will still be there but there are good days along with bad/sad ones. Such is life.
RIP Lisa Marie Presley, boy did she carry sorrows in her heart.
I have not had any sorrows of late. I hope when I do experience a sorrow I can look upon it with acceptance, recognition, and have the knowledge that the emotion of sorrow is similar to the emotion of joy. Both pass in time. I can not have one without the other.
Joseph have you ever read Kahlil Gibran’s book, The Prophet?” His poem on Joy and Sorrow is so powerful. I share it below:
Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the reassure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.
Last night I stayed at the new house to watch my son’s 2 dogs overnight. Stanley my favorite never left my side.
My son and his fiance decided not to stay over night so I ended up sleeping on the couch. It was so adorable that
Stanley still wanted to stay by my side even though they came home. I also helped around the house the best I could while being
there. Life is busy and hectic and it felt good to help out.
I am trying not to feel sorrow lately but rather hope when I think about my daughter. She seems to be proactive in her sobriety, going to meetings without being told and finding a sponsor recently.
I also realize like is very short and my friend and planning a trip maybe in the Fall to Scotland. I am grateful for my health and one of my passions in life has always been travel so I hope to do a trip soon that will be affordable.
It has been difficult lately to answer the questions. Today is not any different. My heart is full of sorrows when I look at the world. My heart is also full of gratefulness when I look at the world. And somehow the gratefulness does not tend to my sorrows. They are independent of each other and unified in my heart. Maybe like a a yin and yang kind of thing.
When things have gone wrong or things have been extremely difficult in my life, I focus on the present and count my blessings. It’s never easy to focus on good things when things in my life are rough and feels like everything is falling apart. I have realized by focusing on the present and listing them down all the things I have, the things I am experiencing in that present moment even down to the most mundane object like a pen on top of my table makes me realize that it is not that bad at all. There are other things going on with my life that are good and made me realize that these sorrows that I am experiencing are temporary, might take some time to move on and I am not going to force myself to say it’s okay when it’s not but realizing that there are other aspects of my life at present that are okay and that to me is an opportunity to put my energy in.
I have been reaching into gratitude all week after the loss of my 9-year companion, BC. The one who was a “black cat” on the street became the Best Cat after I took him in. He went thru so much with me, supporting me thru my divorce, 4 moves, becoming an indoor cat, gaining a doggie brother and a human dad whom he loved very much. He was probably 19 or 20, so he lived a long life. I’m so grateful I got to give him the best life I could, and am also grateful for the many memories including one if my favorites, searching for him in a tropical storm. He was quite a rascal when we first met, but he loved me and I absolutely loved him. Our home is not the same, and Ruger has been sad, too, wondering where his brother is. But I know bodies don’t last forever yet spirit and energy do. There is great sorrow in my heart right now, but what a blessing to have a love that made saying goodbye so hard. I’m grateful I got to be his mom 🐈⬛ 💚
SunnyPatti, I am so very sorry for your loss. BC sounds like he was a great fellow….and so loved and had so much love he gave you. Losing our companions is so difficult…and there is a hold left in our hearts for some time. Give yourself the time you need to grieve and also time to rejoice your beloved BC. I too, lost my cat- who was 20…and I had him as my best friend for those 20 years. There will never be another Tom…but how Blessed I was to be his Mom. Bless you, SunnyPatti and may your heart find some joy today in your memories of BC.
Thank you so much 💜
Dear Sunnypatti, I am so sorry to hear that your beloved BC has passed. We too have a 20 year-old cat who still pretty much runs the house. Losing pets is so darn hard. Take care.
Thank you, Kevin.
I feel the sorrows can only reside in the heart if self is my focus (compared to others). But I have discovered, focusing on Life itself brings a joyous gratitude for every moment of that experience. So, in that sense, I am not sure gratefulness actually tends anything. It is something that results from where the focus lays.
When gratefulness is in me, it usually just overtakes the fears and puts them in a different light. Most of the time, fear calms down then, often even dissolves and acceptance can then show itself, simply accepting what and how something is right now, while in the same time, warmth and joy unfold inside, radiating out immediately.
Like my other practices, it helps balance
my emotions. I still have fear, regret,
pain, anxiety, and other “negative”
emotions, but now I also have gratitude,
Positivity, hope, calm, and other
“Positive” emotions. This has improved
my life and made it more vital.
It soothes out the rough parts and supplies compassion.
experiencing gratitude helps me to look for the learning, the evolving, with happiness in my heart-mind
It puts a focus on appreciating what I have more than what I don’t have. It helps me accept “what is” and roll with the punches. It even helps me bear not only what I have lost but also helps me maintain a positive attitude when in physical pain or discomfort.
This question and the replies made me think of a song. Perhaps you will recognize it. Here are the lyrics
Lean On Me
Bill Withers
Hmm… hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on…
For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill
Those of your needs that you won’t let show
You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on…
For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on
You just call on me brother
When you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me
Call me
If you need a friend
(Call me)
Call me (call me)
If you need a friend
(Call me)
If you ever need a friend
(Call me)
Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me)
If you need a friend
(Call me)
Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me)
Songwriters: Bill Withers. For non-commercial use only.
Data From: Musixmatch
Thank you! I hope you have many folks to rely on during your recovery days.
Thank you Yram. Many neighbors brought us meals for which we were so very grateful.
Rabbit, I’ve always loved that song. We sang it during UU services many times.
Glad you like it. Think of you often Carol. I appreciate your wisdom. what is UU?
Rabbit, Unitarian Universalist
Thank you Carol.
I am recently aware of the sober frailty of life. My friend, Bob, has received a diagnosis of liver cancer. He is a loner and not connected to many people
So is comforting to know that I am able to talk to a mutual friend of us both , and together we can plan how to support Bob. Very grateful for this mutual friend and his steady commitment to Bob. It makes the sadness bearable to know we are here for each other.
I suppose it is how we interpret the phrase sorrows in my heart. I always have some but gratefulness helps me not let them take over everything or put out the light that is also there.
Even when I am feeling contented and happy as I am at the moment, there is in me an ongoing deep sorrow and sadness when I hear about the diminishing animal, insect and bird life on our planet. And a sense of gratitude and love for how the natural world nurtures us all at a profound level.
Completely agree Maeve. It breaks my heart when I see animals hit by cars and see habitat loss everywhere.
Gratefulness tends to the sorrows I carry in my heart by being grateful for many things … I remember in Kristi Nelson’s book ‘I get to’ instead of ‘I have to’- very powerful. The sorrows will still be there but there are good days along with bad/sad ones. Such is life.
RIP Lisa Marie Presley, boy did she carry sorrows in her heart.
I have not had any sorrows of late. I hope when I do experience a sorrow I can look upon it with acceptance, recognition, and have the knowledge that the emotion of sorrow is similar to the emotion of joy. Both pass in time. I can not have one without the other.
Joseph have you ever read Kahlil Gibran’s book, The Prophet?” His poem on Joy and Sorrow is so powerful. I share it below:
Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the reassure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2010/03/on-joy-and-sorrow-mondays-mindful-quote-with-kahlil-gibran/
Carol I have not read that book although I have heard abut it. I feel I should check it out. Thank you.