A tai chi teacher in Colorado with whom I studied was the most joyous person I have ever met. Although the practice was beautiful and meditative, it was her joy that opened my eyes. And I think unconsciously at the time, her joy planted seeds in me to seek joy beyond happiness. So she created an unexpected impact beyond the practice.
Cathie, for many years, every summer I would teach for a week in Boulder, CO. I would start my day with a run on the Boulder Pathway. And each morning, I would pass a group of people in a green space practicing tai chi. Silently, gracefully. Wouldn’t it be something if you were one of them? Your description of your teacher and how she inspired you is joyful in and of itself. 🩷
I met my friend Mike 11 years ago (after divorcing and dating a lot), one of our very first discoveries was that his Dad died on Father’s day and my Mother on Mother’s day! He was catholic, loved Celtic music, hiked, biked, cross country skiied and was very interested in learning how to sail. So he did learn to sail (took an extensive course and we ended up finding an older sailboat for sale 28 ft Pearson (I found the ad) practically in his back yard and he bought it. The boat is moored in Narragansett bay close to his house. He also loves to travel. In 2015 we travelled to Ireland, my first trip there (a dream come true for me) and his 2nd , we have been 2 more times to Ireland and also to Scotland. Incidentally my Mom told me to find someone that I had a lot in common with when I got older. We met on a catholic on-line dating site, was definitely unexpected!!
As much as I want to write about someone who has impacted my life,
I am compelled to choose a woman
who was the bane of my existence for twenty years,
and is apparently still doing it
twelve years later . . .
I dream of her frequently,
and had a particularly disturbing dream of her
last night.
I managed apartments for twenty years
in a local mansion . . .
working with her husband was almost fun,
as we had a good relationship.
Unfortunately
he died of ALS
and she took over as my overseer.
She could be almost pleasant,
but for the most part
was demanding and cruel,
both to me
and to some of the tenants.
Finally,
we were able to buy a house and move out,
and she turned vicious,
and made our departure very unpleasant.
I was grateful
as we pulled out of the driveway
that last time.
But then the dreams started . . .
they were never pleasant dreams,
but came in shades of nightmares.
For twelve years
I have been pondering why this is happening,
and have no idea of how to stop them.
She has had a great impact on my life,
and I learned some good, hard lessons . . .
perhaps the most important
is equanimity,
as I was constantly challenged
to keep my temper
and respond in as neutral a way as I could.
This has served me very well,
and is a lesson I might not have learned otherwise . . .
for that I am grateful
and thank her,
but I would really like it if she moved out of my head
at night.
I was asked to join a political party’s local chapter,
but when I discovered that she was the president
I reluctantly declined.
I never see her . . .
we travel in different circles,
but the trauma I felt working under her
refuses to leave.
sounds like some kind of karmic bond perhaps … try those ‘Release/cut karmic ties/cord cutting meditations’
Thank you for sharing Sparrow, loving kindness to you.
Such a strong impact this woman has had and is having on you, Sparrow. You are recognizing the potential positive she has had on you, and yet…Your dreams may be expressing post trauma stress. Don’t hesitate to seek help from someone who can help you work through this. Blessings on your days and nights, Robin.🩷
Thank you,
dear Mary,
for your thoughtful kindness . . .
just taking the time to write it all down
has helped me,
and your response
has helped to validate my issues.
Blessings . . . ♥
That trauma appears deeply embedded in the recesses of your being, dear Sparrow. Sending healing thoughts along with restfulness when you lay your head down for the night. Namaste.
Right now I’m volunteering to teach yoga on Fridays at the volunteer community center near me. I have meet a nice bunch of people! I wasn’t expecting that I would be included this much and they are very kind.
Also this place where we meet each day is also a source of support- thank you for caring . I appreciate you all very much . 💓🙏
“Unexpected” is one of those words that can be read in multiple ways. I interacted with so many people who ended up as teachers along the way that I can’t name them all.
When I married my first husband I didn’t expect to end up divorced. That definitely changed my life in unexpected ways. Utimately I was free to shape my own life and go in new directions. My two children shaped me into a better and more patient person. People I met through various parts of my life have become dear friends who shaped me. Bosses good and bad have helped me be a better manager and leader of others.
As I re-read how many times I use the word “shaped” in my answer it makes me sound like formless clay. That really isn’t the case. I need to add that shaping and being shaped, impacting and being impacted, are an interactive experience. All of us shape each other every day.
(Editorial aside: Personally I don’t like using the word “impact” as a metaphorical verb. In my line of work in transportation safety I reserve it for the actual physical event.)
.
There is a wonderful poem about how people go in and out of our lives. Some are fleeting moments and others stay for long periods of time.
My biological mother died when I was 21 months old. Many relatives helped my dad in raising my brother and I. My maternal grandmother was a huge influence in my life and my brothers. He tells the story of how she taught him to dance so he could feel more confident at a CYO dance. Her sweetness, gentleness, and household skills have influenced my life greatly.
A client I worked with practiced philosophy. In order to make decisions, he asked himself questions like “how could I be wrong?” He taught me the importance of slowing down and reflecting using questions, and how that process can open up new insights.
I seek and I am open to connection.
And if I can maintain a beginners mind (that’s right, Loc😁) I will be impacted by all encounters.
Learning something from other people’s experiences. Letting their life seep into mine a little bit. I believe something we have lost as humans, is sitting around the fire, telling stories. Exchanging information face to face. It’s how we evolved.
In the world that I live in, the best I can do, is to make these exchanges whenever they present themselves. At work, on the trail, at home, through the interwebs, and whenever I’m out in the world.
Hoping for the unexpected impact.
“I believe something we have lost as humans, is sitting around the fire, telling stories. Exchanging information face to face.”
I miss this too,
dear Charlie.
A lot was lost in that transition to technology. ♥
I love the way you put it, Charlie: “Letting their life seep into mine a little bit.” Reminds me of last year when I invited a stranger to pitch his tent on our site and join our campfire in a crowded campground. Turns out he was a retired prison warden, and the stories he had to tell just floored our group. I think we all came out of the exchange more open.
In my family of 10 children, I am one who has not been tribal. I love my family, all my siblings, and I am quite different than most. Certainly, I have shared values with some, with others less so. I don’t think this is unique in large families. I remember feeling at times, my parents weren’t quite sure what to do with me. I was not special, just different. And what I also remember is later in my life, when I left home, my parents support of their daughter who made them scratch their head at times, to put it mildly. I remember my Father sharing some wisdom that made a significant difference in my life when I had some opportunities and choices to make that I was uncertain about. I didn’t go to him for direction, rather he would ask about my life, and I would share honestly. And then he would sum up his thoughts in a wise pearl that would really get my attention because it was simple and gave me another perspective with no shoulds attached.
So, to sum this up, my parents would be at the top of my list for people who supported me in unexpected ways. 🩷
Your parents sound like kind and understanding people. What a gift to have support from parents who acknowledge the differences between you while being open to understanding.
Various people have impacted my life in unexpected ways such as past teachers, co-workers, friends …
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get” [Forrest Gump]
I guess I would have to say that I never expected the anger and immaturity I’m witnessing in my country these days. I don’t think there is a single person who crosses my path who doesn’t feel some impact from it. I know I do and I try my best to be kind to all.
I have a grade school friend who continues to touch my life. We sat alphabetically in those middle 1960’s classrooms. We were given the gift of friendship where we can pick up where we left off and banter easily. We lost track of each other for a few years, as he was busy raising children with his wife, and I entrenched in my career. We each encountered a similar health crisis. I survived mine first and could reach out to him when his time came. Fast forward, we text daily and talk every few weeks. He is a cherished gift.
I’m adopted. During my early years I assumed there would be some deeper connection with the people with whom I shared DNA than the folks who turned their lives inside out to choose me and raise me. My biological parents married years after I was born and had three more kids. I located and met them when I was in my twenties and, in my thirties moved near them, still chasing that deeper connection. It wasn’t there. I already had what I needed in my adopted parents. After Mama died and about the time Daddy was failing, I learned my biological dad had been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, so I just started calling him and talking. He is in full remission now. At Christmas I went back just to visit. All the time I had was one day, but it was worth it. I discovered I’m a lot like him. Far more than I realized, right down to how I interact with people. How lucky am I? He’s 90 and the only one of four parents I have left, but he’s a treasure.
There have been many in my so-called life that have impacted me in many ways. Some good and some not so good. But something can and has been gleaned from all. One in particular was Daniel Campos. A fellow from Michoacan state in Mexico. He went with me as camp tender when we trailed the sheep from Los Brazos of northern New Mexico to Blue Lake along the great divide in the San Juan’s of southern Colorado. I thought I knew how to pack a mule or a horse. Daniel showed me really how, and how to even pack our dry wood in bundles from one camp to the next. We lived together for the 6 weeks or so in the Blue Lake area. I saw him off and on the rest of the summer when we got back to Henry’s ranch in Los Brazos. Never saw him again after that summer some 43 or so years ago. I have never forgotten the time we lived together high up in the mountains. Peace and Love
Such a beautiful story, Joseph. I believe I remember you writing once that everyone you meet has something to teach you. You have operated from that stance a very long time. Now you have me thinking about Daniel Campos and chance encounters in our lives. May you both be well.
There are so many people. But one who comes to mind is my former first “real” manager, Jennifer. She posses both enthusiasm and professionalism. She inspired me to get my master’s degree and coached me through seminary. Under her counsel I pursued my current job and her tutelage steered me to pursue the interdepartmental endeavor I mentioned a couple of days ago— by the way, was a total sucess.
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A tai chi teacher in Colorado with whom I studied was the most joyous person I have ever met. Although the practice was beautiful and meditative, it was her joy that opened my eyes. And I think unconsciously at the time, her joy planted seeds in me to seek joy beyond happiness. So she created an unexpected impact beyond the practice.
Love this and agree about seeking joy
Cathie, for many years, every summer I would teach for a week in Boulder, CO. I would start my day with a run on the Boulder Pathway. And each morning, I would pass a group of people in a green space practicing tai chi. Silently, gracefully. Wouldn’t it be something if you were one of them? Your description of your teacher and how she inspired you is joyful in and of itself. 🩷
I met my friend Mike 11 years ago (after divorcing and dating a lot), one of our very first discoveries was that his Dad died on Father’s day and my Mother on Mother’s day! He was catholic, loved Celtic music, hiked, biked, cross country skiied and was very interested in learning how to sail. So he did learn to sail (took an extensive course and we ended up finding an older sailboat for sale 28 ft Pearson (I found the ad) practically in his back yard and he bought it. The boat is moored in Narragansett bay close to his house. He also loves to travel. In 2015 we travelled to Ireland, my first trip there (a dream come true for me) and his 2nd , we have been 2 more times to Ireland and also to Scotland. Incidentally my Mom told me to find someone that I had a lot in common with when I got older. We met on a catholic on-line dating site, was definitely unexpected!!
A very lovely story.
As much as I want to write about someone who has impacted my life,
I am compelled to choose a woman
who was the bane of my existence for twenty years,
and is apparently still doing it
twelve years later . . .
I dream of her frequently,
and had a particularly disturbing dream of her
last night.
I managed apartments for twenty years
in a local mansion . . .
working with her husband was almost fun,
as we had a good relationship.
Unfortunately
he died of ALS
and she took over as my overseer.
She could be almost pleasant,
but for the most part
was demanding and cruel,
both to me
and to some of the tenants.
Finally,
we were able to buy a house and move out,
and she turned vicious,
and made our departure very unpleasant.
I was grateful
as we pulled out of the driveway
that last time.
But then the dreams started . . .
they were never pleasant dreams,
but came in shades of nightmares.
For twelve years
I have been pondering why this is happening,
and have no idea of how to stop them.
She has had a great impact on my life,
and I learned some good, hard lessons . . .
perhaps the most important
is equanimity,
as I was constantly challenged
to keep my temper
and respond in as neutral a way as I could.
This has served me very well,
and is a lesson I might not have learned otherwise . . .
for that I am grateful
and thank her,
but I would really like it if she moved out of my head
at night.
I was asked to join a political party’s local chapter,
but when I discovered that she was the president
I reluctantly declined.
I never see her . . .
we travel in different circles,
but the trauma I felt working under her
refuses to leave.
sounds like some kind of karmic bond perhaps … try those ‘Release/cut karmic ties/cord cutting meditations’
Thank you for sharing Sparrow, loving kindness to you.
I will look into the meditations you mentioned,
dear Michele . . .
thank you so much
for your care and concern. ♥
Such a strong impact this woman has had and is having on you, Sparrow. You are recognizing the potential positive she has had on you, and yet…Your dreams may be expressing post trauma stress. Don’t hesitate to seek help from someone who can help you work through this. Blessings on your days and nights, Robin.🩷
Thank you,
dear Mary,
for your thoughtful kindness . . .
just taking the time to write it all down
has helped me,
and your response
has helped to validate my issues.
Blessings . . . ♥
That trauma appears deeply embedded in the recesses of your being, dear Sparrow. Sending healing thoughts along with restfulness when you lay your head down for the night. Namaste.
Thank you so much for this,
dear Joseph . . .
it means the world to me .
Thank you. ♥
Right now I’m volunteering to teach yoga on Fridays at the volunteer community center near me. I have meet a nice bunch of people! I wasn’t expecting that I would be included this much and they are very kind.
Also this place where we meet each day is also a source of support- thank you for caring . I appreciate you all very much . 💓🙏
“Unexpected” is one of those words that can be read in multiple ways. I interacted with so many people who ended up as teachers along the way that I can’t name them all.
When I married my first husband I didn’t expect to end up divorced. That definitely changed my life in unexpected ways. Utimately I was free to shape my own life and go in new directions. My two children shaped me into a better and more patient person. People I met through various parts of my life have become dear friends who shaped me. Bosses good and bad have helped me be a better manager and leader of others.
As I re-read how many times I use the word “shaped” in my answer it makes me sound like formless clay. That really isn’t the case. I need to add that shaping and being shaped, impacting and being impacted, are an interactive experience. All of us shape each other every day.
(Editorial aside: Personally I don’t like using the word “impact” as a metaphorical verb. In my line of work in transportation safety I reserve it for the actual physical event.)
.
An “interactive experience” indeed, Barb.🩷
There is a wonderful poem about how people go in and out of our lives. Some are fleeting moments and others stay for long periods of time.
My biological mother died when I was 21 months old. Many relatives helped my dad in raising my brother and I. My maternal grandmother was a huge influence in my life and my brothers. He tells the story of how she taught him to dance so he could feel more confident at a CYO dance. Her sweetness, gentleness, and household skills have influenced my life greatly.
What a beautiful story,
dear Yram,
of unconditional love. ♥
A client I worked with practiced philosophy. In order to make decisions, he asked himself questions like “how could I be wrong?” He taught me the importance of slowing down and reflecting using questions, and how that process can open up new insights.
I seek and I am open to connection.
And if I can maintain a beginners mind (that’s right, Loc😁) I will be impacted by all encounters.
Learning something from other people’s experiences. Letting their life seep into mine a little bit. I believe something we have lost as humans, is sitting around the fire, telling stories. Exchanging information face to face. It’s how we evolved.
In the world that I live in, the best I can do, is to make these exchanges whenever they present themselves. At work, on the trail, at home, through the interwebs, and whenever I’m out in the world.
Hoping for the unexpected impact.
Yes Charlie! Passing along oral traditions and tales around the fire.
“I believe something we have lost as humans, is sitting around the fire, telling stories. Exchanging information face to face.”
I miss this too,
dear Charlie.
A lot was lost in that transition to technology. ♥
I love the way you put it, Charlie: “Letting their life seep into mine a little bit.” Reminds me of last year when I invited a stranger to pitch his tent on our site and join our campfire in a crowded campground. Turns out he was a retired prison warden, and the stories he had to tell just floored our group. I think we all came out of the exchange more open.
Exactly!
In my family of 10 children, I am one who has not been tribal. I love my family, all my siblings, and I am quite different than most. Certainly, I have shared values with some, with others less so. I don’t think this is unique in large families. I remember feeling at times, my parents weren’t quite sure what to do with me. I was not special, just different. And what I also remember is later in my life, when I left home, my parents support of their daughter who made them scratch their head at times, to put it mildly. I remember my Father sharing some wisdom that made a significant difference in my life when I had some opportunities and choices to make that I was uncertain about. I didn’t go to him for direction, rather he would ask about my life, and I would share honestly. And then he would sum up his thoughts in a wise pearl that would really get my attention because it was simple and gave me another perspective with no shoulds attached.
So, to sum this up, my parents would be at the top of my list for people who supported me in unexpected ways. 🩷
Your parents sound like kind and understanding people. What a gift to have support from parents who acknowledge the differences between you while being open to understanding.
Thank you, Drea, your words are true. Yesterday was the 36th anniversary of my Dad’s passing. 🩷
Various people have impacted my life in unexpected ways such as past teachers, co-workers, friends …
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get” [Forrest Gump]
I guess I would have to say that I never expected the anger and immaturity I’m witnessing in my country these days. I don’t think there is a single person who crosses my path who doesn’t feel some impact from it. I know I do and I try my best to be kind to all.
I have been registered unaffiliated since I registered to vote 49 1/2 years ago. Like Bob Dylan sang in Rainy Day Woman #12 & 35,
Well, they’ll stone you when you’re tryin’ to be so good
They’ll stone you just like they said they would
Agreed to the banality of the entire bizzarro world of a shit show that is politics in the USA, 2025.
great song and 100% agree
“Well, they’ll stone you when you’re tryin’ to be so good
They’ll stone you just like they said they would””
I remember this song so well,
dear Joseph,
and it’s true,
so true.” )
For sure!
I am on the same, painful page,
dear Carol. ♥
Agree
Yes!
I agree.
I have a grade school friend who continues to touch my life. We sat alphabetically in those middle 1960’s classrooms. We were given the gift of friendship where we can pick up where we left off and banter easily. We lost track of each other for a few years, as he was busy raising children with his wife, and I entrenched in my career. We each encountered a similar health crisis. I survived mine first and could reach out to him when his time came. Fast forward, we text daily and talk every few weeks. He is a cherished gift.
I love having friends with whom to pick up where we left off … feeling like no time has passed. He sounds like a special person.
I’m adopted. During my early years I assumed there would be some deeper connection with the people with whom I shared DNA than the folks who turned their lives inside out to choose me and raise me. My biological parents married years after I was born and had three more kids. I located and met them when I was in my twenties and, in my thirties moved near them, still chasing that deeper connection. It wasn’t there. I already had what I needed in my adopted parents. After Mama died and about the time Daddy was failing, I learned my biological dad had been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, so I just started calling him and talking. He is in full remission now. At Christmas I went back just to visit. All the time I had was one day, but it was worth it. I discovered I’m a lot like him. Far more than I realized, right down to how I interact with people. How lucky am I? He’s 90 and the only one of four parents I have left, but he’s a treasure.
I commend you for trying to form a connection after what happened, and am so happy that you have a relationship with your biological father now.
Dawn Elaine, your story is so tender, thank you for sharing with us. May your time with your biological father be precious.🩷
There have been many in my so-called life that have impacted me in many ways. Some good and some not so good. But something can and has been gleaned from all. One in particular was Daniel Campos. A fellow from Michoacan state in Mexico. He went with me as camp tender when we trailed the sheep from Los Brazos of northern New Mexico to Blue Lake along the great divide in the San Juan’s of southern Colorado. I thought I knew how to pack a mule or a horse. Daniel showed me really how, and how to even pack our dry wood in bundles from one camp to the next. We lived together for the 6 weeks or so in the Blue Lake area. I saw him off and on the rest of the summer when we got back to Henry’s ranch in Los Brazos. Never saw him again after that summer some 43 or so years ago. I have never forgotten the time we lived together high up in the mountains. Peace and Love
We never know,
over time,
what impact a person might have on us,
dear Joseph,
or what impact we might make on other people.
Sounds like a magical time, I feel like I’m there with you just by reading your words.
Such a beautiful story, Joseph. I believe I remember you writing once that everyone you meet has something to teach you. You have operated from that stance a very long time. Now you have me thinking about Daniel Campos and chance encounters in our lives. May you both be well.
There are so many people. But one who comes to mind is my former first “real” manager, Jennifer. She posses both enthusiasm and professionalism. She inspired me to get my master’s degree and coached me through seminary. Under her counsel I pursued my current job and her tutelage steered me to pursue the interdepartmental endeavor I mentioned a couple of days ago— by the way, was a total sucess.
Congratulations on your successful project, Avril. And what a gift to have a manager like Jennifer in your life.