I have focused more on making sure I fill my own cup! I try to meditate at least once a week, I try to streth every or every other day. I work out and move my body in ways that feel good to me. These practices help me get more in touch with my body and mind. By getting more in touch, I open a pathway for communication with myself. I talk to myself and always try to be aware and bring myself back to center in difficult times (not saying it always works but it’s definitely better than nothing.) IWhen something extremely challenging comes along, I grieve, realize there truly is a greater purpose and trust it will all work out, and get up and start fresh.
Meditation, journaling, yoga, and positive affirmations have helped me build my resilience.
By having hope, faith and support. Taking pauses & time not to over react to extremely stressful situations. Take care of myself. Do something just for me! One of my family support groups stresses this, it is called “a win” for the week. Last night I went to a yoga class which I really needed and had not gone to in 2 months. She worked on releasing tension which I must have had a lot of!
I don´t know if there is more resilience, which was mostly alongside with withdrawal. Both could be instinctively active at least trigger. To my understanding, there was too much of almost inborn reslilience and my impression is that it has rather lessened, mainly due to extremely painful experiences, which through some acceptance allowing for being more vulnerable, which in a way opens up more while in the same time being more able to stay in equanimity towards what might be hurting.
Every failure has helped me become more resilient, as I have to go on. I learn and grow from failure and I also learn it’s not the end. And so I begin again.
Meditation, reading authors that seem more connected to truth, the universe, God , coming to this site. Learning to recognize my emotion, ego, truth while finding a peaceful stillness during stressful time. I need to bold the word learning because I am far from even a passing score- but becoming conscious of the ability is a good start.
I think my resilience comes from multiple experiences throughout life. In some ways, I am a risk-taker. Not every risk I’ve chosen resulted in a positive outcome, at least not what I had pictured. On the other hand, many did, which of course, encourages one to be a bit riskier! I believe my “experiments” or screw-ups, as some might call them, are the experiences that have helped me build my resilience. Recovery, be it emotional, mental, spiritual or physical has always informed me regarding the next opportunity. I really don’t want to overthink things, rather make a decision and move on when I can, using my experience as my guide. That feels like resilience to me.🩷
Meditation has changed my life completely and I’m so much more adaptable and flexible. I’m much more calm and happy. Meditation has given me freedom to not be trapped by my mind world. By cleansing away the falseness which is my remembered thoughts I’m free and happy . It’s truly an amazing gift of the universe that we finally have a way to go to Truth. Thank you .
It took me a long time to learn, to realize, that I’ve always been there for me. That image of myself was not easy to embrace as I was bullied as a child unmercifully.
However, I was blessed in my adult life with helpful role models. Never doubt that when someone new crosses your path, there is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself. It took me a long time to trust enough to be willing to learn. Some of my role models I never actually met in person. They came to me through books. These days many, like the beautiful and vulnerable human beings who frequent this site, come to me on the Internet.
I would say today that willingness is the key to greater resilience. Without experiencing willingness, without vulnerability, it’s hard to have an open heart and an open mind. Sometimes others will take advantage of you. Lessons will be learned but I try to remember that there is a difference between a broken ego and a broken heart. The heart is seldom broken. It’s usually my ego–it edges God out and as Franciscan priest Richard Rohr says, “God’s name is grace.”
Mindfulness, aka observing the endless stream of sensation, thought, imagery in myself, has helped me develop greater resilience through boredom. I’ve witnessed the same stuff so many times, in so many variants, that I just have gotten bored with some of my internalized drama. Wore it down through attrition over the years. Of course, the onion has many layers, but I’m grateful that the practice of mindfulness (sometimes via meditation, other times through the day) has ensured that I stay fluid within, and that is a form of resilience.
My parents grew up during the Depression and gifted me with their attitude that you do what you can with what you have. I don’t know that my mom ever said this exact line, but her approach to life was along the lines of “Who cares whether the glass is half full or half empty? I’m just glad I have a glass!”.
Maybe in part as a result of that, I have an inherently optimistic outlook on life that I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I operate from the premises that things tend to work out over the long run, and sometimes the only way out is through. “Work out” takes unexpected forms I can’t predict and “things” is doing a lot of work there to represent big life changes and blows along the way. Reminding myself of these statements is a practice, I suppose. I do the thing that’s in front of me that I can do. I try not to borrow trouble–another frequent Mom-ism referring to thinking too much about what’s to come when you don’t know and can’t control it.
When all else fails, I go for a walk outside, preferably in natural surroundings, and make sure to look at the sky.
Past experiences have shaped me into a resilient person. With children depending on me, surrendering to trauma was never an option. Now that my children are adults and I am on my own, I have the space to reflect and process what I’ve been through. I often find myself navigating a maze of dead ends and dark corners, struggling to summon the resilience and mental strength to guide myself toward freedom. The reality of my past and the place I find myself in now evoke conflicting and at times overwhelming emotions. I am working to create a space where I can hear and understand my thoughts without reacting in ways that harm me. This process can be exhausting, and many days I am unable to find a light to guide me. I appreciate this group and find respite in the warmth and openness of all who share.
For me dear Antonia, the reality of my past is just that, past! What has helped me immensely is doing my best to continue to live in the now. The present of the present.
Antonia, it looks like you’re on the path. Like many of us here, developing a personal practice can be very helpful. At first, honestly, some of these things seem ridiculous, but over time, they can become tools and a balm for daily living. The crazier things get for me, the more I count in my routines. 🙏
Like many things, my undoing was gradual and then all at once. Luckily, I was cracked open and exposed. I gave up, gave in, stopped fighting, and I let people help me. My ability to be more resilient, is the result of many things. But over all, I would say that non resistance, willingness, and surrender, have played an important roll in improving my ability to bounce back. Like most of us, I’ve thrown a lot at it and it’s all added up. The world has not changed, but how I move through it has changed.
“I’ve thrown a lot at it and it’s all added up.” — this is helpful to remember when it feels like I’m back at Square 1. But hey, at least Square 1 doesn’t last that long, thanks to all that accumulated practice.
I am finding it very difficult to answer the questions lately. I have considered myself a very resilient person all through my life. Lately, in care supporting my husband, my resilience has weakened. That saying ” my get up and go has got up and gone.” is part of me now.
I read all the responses but don’t have the energy or words to answer.
It is very difficult Yram to care for a loved one 24/7. I do hope you take some time to do something pleasant for yourself though. It is very important.
YRAM, “The past is history, the future is mystery, today’s the gift. That’s why we call it the Present.” I’ve heard that saying credited to Eleanor Roosevelt but not sure about its authorship. What it means to me is the strength,/resilience I need is only available in the NOW. It’s my thought that your resilience has not weakened. It’s there. Your mind is not. My guess is that it’s in the future. Your body appears to be telling you to rest. I hope you can do that today and when that mind stirs up your feelings, just tell it to hush! I like to listen to hymns that move me and lift my spirit. Sometimes, that hushes my monkey mind! Love you, Carol
In winter, the plants are resting up to be able to enter into spring when the time comes. It sounds as if you’re wintering a bit right now, Yram. Rest is resilience too.
Yram, thank you for your honest sharing. Sometimes it’s all we can do, but putting one foot in front of the other and going through the motions can be enough. I know that feeling well. Usually there’s a third path, a way through that’s obscured. Staying open, in the moment, and willing, can help reveal options. ❤️🩹
I just read Sunnypatti’s answer. It gave me an idea. That’s the practice of letting go which is a huge part of keeping things simple. I give a shout out to her.
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I have focused more on making sure I fill my own cup! I try to meditate at least once a week, I try to streth every or every other day. I work out and move my body in ways that feel good to me. These practices help me get more in touch with my body and mind. By getting more in touch, I open a pathway for communication with myself. I talk to myself and always try to be aware and bring myself back to center in difficult times (not saying it always works but it’s definitely better than nothing.) IWhen something extremely challenging comes along, I grieve, realize there truly is a greater purpose and trust it will all work out, and get up and start fresh.
Meditation, journaling, yoga, and positive affirmations have helped me build my resilience.
By having hope, faith and support. Taking pauses & time not to over react to extremely stressful situations. Take care of myself. Do something just for me! One of my family support groups stresses this, it is called “a win” for the week. Last night I went to a yoga class which I really needed and had not gone to in 2 months. She worked on releasing tension which I must have had a lot of!
I love the “a win” for the week practice! I try to think of my small wins everyday, even if it’s just eating my favorite sandwich! Thanks for sharing!
I don´t know if there is more resilience, which was mostly alongside with withdrawal. Both could be instinctively active at least trigger. To my understanding, there was too much of almost inborn reslilience and my impression is that it has rather lessened, mainly due to extremely painful experiences, which through some acceptance allowing for being more vulnerable, which in a way opens up more while in the same time being more able to stay in equanimity towards what might be hurting.
Every failure has helped me become more resilient, as I have to go on. I learn and grow from failure and I also learn it’s not the end. And so I begin again.
I love “it’s not the end. And so I begin again.” ! I will keep that quote close to me!
Meditation, reading authors that seem more connected to truth, the universe, God , coming to this site. Learning to recognize my emotion, ego, truth while finding a peaceful stillness during stressful time. I need to bold the word learning because I am far from even a passing score- but becoming conscious of the ability is a good start.
I think my resilience comes from multiple experiences throughout life. In some ways, I am a risk-taker. Not every risk I’ve chosen resulted in a positive outcome, at least not what I had pictured. On the other hand, many did, which of course, encourages one to be a bit riskier! I believe my “experiments” or screw-ups, as some might call them, are the experiences that have helped me build my resilience. Recovery, be it emotional, mental, spiritual or physical has always informed me regarding the next opportunity. I really don’t want to overthink things, rather make a decision and move on when I can, using my experience as my guide. That feels like resilience to me.🩷
Meditation has changed my life completely and I’m so much more adaptable and flexible. I’m much more calm and happy. Meditation has given me freedom to not be trapped by my mind world. By cleansing away the falseness which is my remembered thoughts I’m free and happy . It’s truly an amazing gift of the universe that we finally have a way to go to Truth. Thank you .
It is such a great gift! I can’t (and don’t want to) imagine my life if I hadn’t started meditating.
Thank you, Antionette!
It took me a long time to learn, to realize, that I’ve always been there for me. That image of myself was not easy to embrace as I was bullied as a child unmercifully.
However, I was blessed in my adult life with helpful role models. Never doubt that when someone new crosses your path, there is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself. It took me a long time to trust enough to be willing to learn. Some of my role models I never actually met in person. They came to me through books. These days many, like the beautiful and vulnerable human beings who frequent this site, come to me on the Internet.
I would say today that willingness is the key to greater resilience. Without experiencing willingness, without vulnerability, it’s hard to have an open heart and an open mind. Sometimes others will take advantage of you. Lessons will be learned but I try to remember that there is a difference between a broken ego and a broken heart. The heart is seldom broken. It’s usually my ego–it edges God out and as Franciscan priest Richard Rohr says, “God’s name is grace.”
Mindfulness, aka observing the endless stream of sensation, thought, imagery in myself, has helped me develop greater resilience through boredom. I’ve witnessed the same stuff so many times, in so many variants, that I just have gotten bored with some of my internalized drama. Wore it down through attrition over the years. Of course, the onion has many layers, but I’m grateful that the practice of mindfulness (sometimes via meditation, other times through the day) has ensured that I stay fluid within, and that is a form of resilience.
“Staying fluid within” such a powerful and helpful image. Makes me think of the hymn “Peace is flowing like a River.”
My parents grew up during the Depression and gifted me with their attitude that you do what you can with what you have. I don’t know that my mom ever said this exact line, but her approach to life was along the lines of “Who cares whether the glass is half full or half empty? I’m just glad I have a glass!”.
Maybe in part as a result of that, I have an inherently optimistic outlook on life that I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I operate from the premises that things tend to work out over the long run, and sometimes the only way out is through. “Work out” takes unexpected forms I can’t predict and “things” is doing a lot of work there to represent big life changes and blows along the way. Reminding myself of these statements is a practice, I suppose. I do the thing that’s in front of me that I can do. I try not to borrow trouble–another frequent Mom-ism referring to thinking too much about what’s to come when you don’t know and can’t control it.
When all else fails, I go for a walk outside, preferably in natural surroundings, and make sure to look at the sky.
A Barbara Crooker poem that somewhat fits the question: “Sometimes, I Am Startled Out of Myself” https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2013/04/barbara-crooker-sometimes-i-am-startled.html.
Thank you for sharing the poem Barb
What a beautiful poem, Barb. Thank you so much for sharing it.
I love this: “I try not to borrow trouble.” A great thing to remember.
Past experiences have shaped me into a resilient person. With children depending on me, surrendering to trauma was never an option. Now that my children are adults and I am on my own, I have the space to reflect and process what I’ve been through. I often find myself navigating a maze of dead ends and dark corners, struggling to summon the resilience and mental strength to guide myself toward freedom. The reality of my past and the place I find myself in now evoke conflicting and at times overwhelming emotions. I am working to create a space where I can hear and understand my thoughts without reacting in ways that harm me. This process can be exhausting, and many days I am unable to find a light to guide me. I appreciate this group and find respite in the warmth and openness of all who share.
For me dear Antonia, the reality of my past is just that, past! What has helped me immensely is doing my best to continue to live in the now. The present of the present.
We do the best we can as a parent. I hope you find peace and healing in this space.
Wish I could hug you right NOW…we all need hugs. Sometimes, we just have to hug ourselves. Sending loving energy your way, dear Antonia.
You sharing this here is a sign that you’re healing. You have so much strength and courage. You are on the right path.
Antonia, it looks like you’re on the path. Like many of us here, developing a personal practice can be very helpful. At first, honestly, some of these things seem ridiculous, but over time, they can become tools and a balm for daily living. The crazier things get for me, the more I count in my routines. 🙏
Like many things, my undoing was gradual and then all at once. Luckily, I was cracked open and exposed. I gave up, gave in, stopped fighting, and I let people help me. My ability to be more resilient, is the result of many things. But over all, I would say that non resistance, willingness, and surrender, have played an important roll in improving my ability to bounce back. Like most of us, I’ve thrown a lot at it and it’s all added up. The world has not changed, but how I move through it has changed.
“The world has not changed, but how I move through it has changed.” Thank you, dear Charlie.
Always the truth isn’t it Carol and Charlie?
“I’ve thrown a lot at it and it’s all added up.” — this is helpful to remember when it feels like I’m back at Square 1. But hey, at least Square 1 doesn’t last that long, thanks to all that accumulated practice.
I am finding it very difficult to answer the questions lately. I have considered myself a very resilient person all through my life. Lately, in care supporting my husband, my resilience has weakened. That saying ” my get up and go has got up and gone.” is part of me now.
I read all the responses but don’t have the energy or words to answer.
I use “I have a get along in my hitch” “when my get and go has got up and gone.” May you experience some beneficial rest dear Yram.
It is very difficult Yram to care for a loved one 24/7. I do hope you take some time to do something pleasant for yourself though. It is very important.
Hugs and may you find moments of rest. Please take care of yourself.
YRAM, “The past is history, the future is mystery, today’s the gift. That’s why we call it the Present.” I’ve heard that saying credited to Eleanor Roosevelt but not sure about its authorship. What it means to me is the strength,/resilience I need is only available in the NOW. It’s my thought that your resilience has not weakened. It’s there. Your mind is not. My guess is that it’s in the future. Your body appears to be telling you to rest. I hope you can do that today and when that mind stirs up your feelings, just tell it to hush! I like to listen to hymns that move me and lift my spirit. Sometimes, that hushes my monkey mind! Love you, Carol
In winter, the plants are resting up to be able to enter into spring when the time comes. It sounds as if you’re wintering a bit right now, Yram. Rest is resilience too.
Yram, thank you for your honest sharing. Sometimes it’s all we can do, but putting one foot in front of the other and going through the motions can be enough. I know that feeling well. Usually there’s a third path, a way through that’s obscured. Staying open, in the moment, and willing, can help reveal options. ❤️🩹
I just read Sunnypatti’s answer. It gave me an idea. That’s the practice of letting go which is a huge part of keeping things simple. I give a shout out to her.
Thanks, Loc! Shout out to you and everyone else here for all of the growth we experience and share with each other.
Meditation and too many experiences to mention!
Sunnypatti, I echo the same sentiment. It’s very easy to overthink on these questions. That would defeat the purpose.