In good times, gratefulness and joy radiated out light which was guiding, while in bad times, it often was just dark. Gratefulness possibly appeared at least later when there has been a process of gaining some understanding at least for integrating the experience afterwards. So possibly in the direction as Br. David has mentioned, that you cannot always be grateful for an experience, while it is always possible to still being grateful for the opportunity hidden inside. This was and is at least possible, and with deep gratefulness for my trusted friends who always offered a listening ear and loving care then. For all i am deeply grateful.
During my worst moments, I have always felt a deep desire to feel awe in the face of beauties, be they natural or human, such as art, music, dance, scientific news and, certainly, love.
During my beautiful moments, the amazement, the curiosity, the love, nourish me and make me stronger because I will always remember that they are not simple chimeras but are truly part of my life.
I have learned to trust that there is always good and beauty to be discovered in life. And when I actually do discover it in difficult times, I feel a spark of deep joy that allows my trust in life to grow again.
And in good times, it is sometimes even more difficult to be grateful. Because of all the exuberance and simply wanting to live. It helps me to look back on a wonderful day in the evening.
Helps me to stay focused and take a much needed pause when experiencing bad times. It is not healthy at all to be stuck in hopelessness. It helps me to find the much needed support like this website. Gratefulness allows me to appreciate the good times so much more then before .
Being grateful
reminds me
that even the ‘bad’ and unpleasant events
are there to teach me something,
although sometimes
I allow myself to suffer for much too long,
before finding the gift.
I can be grateful for my circumstances, Certainly during good times, receiving them as blessings, and grateful during bad times as they come, knowing that bad times don’t last forever, and that the memory of all that gratefulness is and does helps me to find my way out and away of what was experienced as “bad.“
I believe it is the Holy Spirit (or whatever you wish to call her) who guides me. Living gratefully has enabled me to hear the guidance more clearly and to be more willing to follow.
Sometimes I’m a windshield, sometimes a bug. As good and bad are parts of my life, the same goes for you. Living gratefully guides me to be thankful for my blessings. During challenging times, it helps me recognize the lessons hidden in unwanted situations and guides me to first, settle myself, and second, face the difficulties head-on.
My Ngoc, I’m with you on settling down first. It reminds me of Phil Jackson’s “When in doubt, do nothing” zen leadership principle. This makes it easier to face the discomfort head on and learn the hidden lesson.
Stopping to notice and be mindful of my gratefulness can be a challenge even in good times thanks to a busy life. Doing that, though, helps develop the reflex to notice what I can be grateful for in difficult times.
Right now a member of my extended family is going through an incredibly difficult time with an attempted suicide in the family. They reached out to me and told me they knew I could be there for them. I’m being supportive of the difficult decisions they need to make for their own health and safety and their children’s. In the moment I could be grateful that they regard me as someone who will be there even as I felt sorrow and anger over the circumstances.
Sorry to hear this Barb and hope this person is getting much needed help soon and that it is a blessing they survived. Glad you are able to be supportive to your extended family member. Sending strength and positive vibes to your family.
As I sit here and ponder this question,
I took a big breath and an exhale.
That’s basically it. That moment to stop
those busy thoughts, the “to-do” lists,
the self criticism, the judgment, the
future and past tripping, and just be
In this moment and experience my
senses. This pausing is helpful is so
many ways. Whether things are good,
bad, or otherwise.
Over the last many years I have learned to be grateful for the good times, the happy times as well as the challenging & difficult times. I admit tho the latter is a struggle. I have learned there are opportunities for growth in the midst of difficult situations & ultimately this is a good thing. Having an attitude of gratitude makes my life so much better, richer, deeper, more satisfying.
I know I am very blessed.🙏🏻
Happy Wednesday to All….✨☕️🌳
Fortunately, I’ve found the light at the end of the tunnel. During the good times, I try to enjoy them as much as I can. Those times go by fast. I’m also not too far removed from the bad times either. A prime example is going through repetitive triggers from past relationships I’ve mentioned in other answers or comments from other people’s posts about the woman who went great lengths to get her way and the Big Island one who happened to be besties.
Long story short, I was still best friends with the Big Island woman for a few years after she dump me all 3 times when I dated her September 2011-September 2013 including the 2nd time right on Valentine’s Day of 2013. One day, this was somewhere in the summer of 2016, I had to move on from that friendship perminantly. She was harder to move on from than the one who went great lengths to get her way, because aggression is more visible than deceptiveness. That was rock bottom for me. It took me around 7-8 years to find the right strokes and be recovered at least to a more respectable level. Being by-cultural and a tweener between old and new school didn’t exactly help.
Knowing that I’m not alone helped me lived gratefully through those times. There will always be reliable sources. Sometimes, we have to go through the unreliable ones first. This gives us a deeper appreciation for the reliable ones. Those bad times has helped me gain a greater appreciation for what Paw Mu was trying to do and the 4 wonderful years I’ve been married to Ngoc. 8 years to heal and learn hard lessons Paw Mu was trying to teach me is actually still considered fast. Simply put, I’m still young enough to be able to enjoy many years ahead of me. 32 years old is still a baby in this group.
In good times, it seems natural to live gratefully more easily. Although I know the well of gratitude is infinite, a grateful awareness during the good times strengthens my gratefulness muscle for the challenging times. Bad times bring out many emotions for me, and it seems that fear is often the leader. And for me, experiencing all the feelings that arise is essential to getting to a place where I cam settle and see the opportunities for gratefulness more easily.
In both good and “bad” times, it reminds me that there is always something to be grateful for. It helps me stay grounded, as others have mentioned, and it helps me shift my energy if things aren’t going well or I’m getting upset… like a little reminder that “this too shall pass.”
Well said, Sunnypatti. It’s easy to forget gratefulness in good times, because either we’re too busy, or human nature is programmed to see the negatives first. It’s very easy to overreact when things go wrong. Like you said, “This shall pass.”
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In good times, gratefulness and joy radiated out light which was guiding, while in bad times, it often was just dark. Gratefulness possibly appeared at least later when there has been a process of gaining some understanding at least for integrating the experience afterwards. So possibly in the direction as Br. David has mentioned, that you cannot always be grateful for an experience, while it is always possible to still being grateful for the opportunity hidden inside. This was and is at least possible, and with deep gratefulness for my trusted friends who always offered a listening ear and loving care then. For all i am deeply grateful.
During my worst moments, I have always felt a deep desire to feel awe in the face of beauties, be they natural or human, such as art, music, dance, scientific news and, certainly, love.
During my beautiful moments, the amazement, the curiosity, the love, nourish me and make me stronger because I will always remember that they are not simple chimeras but are truly part of my life.
I have learned to trust that there is always good and beauty to be discovered in life. And when I actually do discover it in difficult times, I feel a spark of deep joy that allows my trust in life to grow again.
And in good times, it is sometimes even more difficult to be grateful. Because of all the exuberance and simply wanting to live. It helps me to look back on a wonderful day in the evening.
Helps me to stay focused and take a much needed pause when experiencing bad times. It is not healthy at all to be stuck in hopelessness. It helps me to find the much needed support like this website. Gratefulness allows me to appreciate the good times so much more then before .
Being grateful
reminds me
that even the ‘bad’ and unpleasant events
are there to teach me something,
although sometimes
I allow myself to suffer for much too long,
before finding the gift.
I can be grateful for my circumstances, Certainly during good times, receiving them as blessings, and grateful during bad times as they come, knowing that bad times don’t last forever, and that the memory of all that gratefulness is and does helps me to find my way out and away of what was experienced as “bad.“
I believe it is the Holy Spirit (or whatever you wish to call her) who guides me. Living gratefully has enabled me to hear the guidance more clearly and to be more willing to follow.
Yes, “living gratefully has enabled me to hear the guidance more clearly”
Sometimes I’m a windshield, sometimes a bug. As good and bad are parts of my life, the same goes for you. Living gratefully guides me to be thankful for my blessings. During challenging times, it helps me recognize the lessons hidden in unwanted situations and guides me to first, settle myself, and second, face the difficulties head-on.
I’m wondering if you know the Mary Chapin Carpenter song “The Bug”, which uses this exact image. It’s a bouncy, fun tune.
Is that anything like . . .
sometimes you eat the bear,
and sometimes
the bear eats you? 🙂
Well said,
dear Ngoc
😂♥️
My Ngoc, I’m with you on settling down first. It reminds me of Phil Jackson’s “When in doubt, do nothing” zen leadership principle. This makes it easier to face the discomfort head on and learn the hidden lesson.
It has helped me to maintain the willingness to not resist what is and trust that I will be shown a way.
Stopping to notice and be mindful of my gratefulness can be a challenge even in good times thanks to a busy life. Doing that, though, helps develop the reflex to notice what I can be grateful for in difficult times.
Right now a member of my extended family is going through an incredibly difficult time with an attempted suicide in the family. They reached out to me and told me they knew I could be there for them. I’m being supportive of the difficult decisions they need to make for their own health and safety and their children’s. In the moment I could be grateful that they regard me as someone who will be there even as I felt sorrow and anger over the circumstances.
Barb, the fact that they felt comfortable to reach out to you says it all. They trust you.
Suicide rears its ugly head again. Compassion for all effected.
Thank you Joseph. I debated whether to be that specific but you’ve all been so generous with your painful experiences I felt that I could.
Sorry to hear this Barb and hope this person is getting much needed help soon and that it is a blessing they survived. Glad you are able to be supportive to your extended family member. Sending strength and positive vibes to your family.
As I sit here and ponder this question,
I took a big breath and an exhale.
That’s basically it. That moment to stop
those busy thoughts, the “to-do” lists,
the self criticism, the judgment, the
future and past tripping, and just be
In this moment and experience my
senses. This pausing is helpful is so
many ways. Whether things are good,
bad, or otherwise.
Beautifully said.
Thank you for this, Charlie. Inhale. Exhale.
Barb, I’m very familiar with that in the guided meditations I do.
Over the last many years I have learned to be grateful for the good times, the happy times as well as the challenging & difficult times. I admit tho the latter is a struggle. I have learned there are opportunities for growth in the midst of difficult situations & ultimately this is a good thing. Having an attitude of gratitude makes my life so much better, richer, deeper, more satisfying.
I know I am very blessed.🙏🏻
Happy Wednesday to All….✨☕️🌳
Fortunately, I’ve found the light at the end of the tunnel. During the good times, I try to enjoy them as much as I can. Those times go by fast. I’m also not too far removed from the bad times either. A prime example is going through repetitive triggers from past relationships I’ve mentioned in other answers or comments from other people’s posts about the woman who went great lengths to get her way and the Big Island one who happened to be besties.
Long story short, I was still best friends with the Big Island woman for a few years after she dump me all 3 times when I dated her September 2011-September 2013 including the 2nd time right on Valentine’s Day of 2013. One day, this was somewhere in the summer of 2016, I had to move on from that friendship perminantly. She was harder to move on from than the one who went great lengths to get her way, because aggression is more visible than deceptiveness. That was rock bottom for me. It took me around 7-8 years to find the right strokes and be recovered at least to a more respectable level. Being by-cultural and a tweener between old and new school didn’t exactly help.
Knowing that I’m not alone helped me lived gratefully through those times. There will always be reliable sources. Sometimes, we have to go through the unreliable ones first. This gives us a deeper appreciation for the reliable ones. Those bad times has helped me gain a greater appreciation for what Paw Mu was trying to do and the 4 wonderful years I’ve been married to Ngoc. 8 years to heal and learn hard lessons Paw Mu was trying to teach me is actually still considered fast. Simply put, I’m still young enough to be able to enjoy many years ahead of me. 32 years old is still a baby in this group.
In good times, it seems natural to live gratefully more easily. Although I know the well of gratitude is infinite, a grateful awareness during the good times strengthens my gratefulness muscle for the challenging times. Bad times bring out many emotions for me, and it seems that fear is often the leader. And for me, experiencing all the feelings that arise is essential to getting to a place where I cam settle and see the opportunities for gratefulness more easily.
In both good and “bad” times, it reminds me that there is always something to be grateful for. It helps me stay grounded, as others have mentioned, and it helps me shift my energy if things aren’t going well or I’m getting upset… like a little reminder that “this too shall pass.”
Well said, Sunnypatti. It’s easy to forget gratefulness in good times, because either we’re too busy, or human nature is programmed to see the negatives first. It’s very easy to overreact when things go wrong. Like you said, “This shall pass.”